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10-27-2003, 03:14 PM | #1 |
King's Writer
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Ruin of Doriath - Húrin in Nargothrond
I will start this text with a nearly full text, because we have no good basis-text and must compile the text of many difrent sources.
The Basis text I adopted is in this section The Tale of Turambar. Since the text is a continuation of The Wanderings of Húrin I will start with the last sentence of that text. I myselfe have numbered the paragarphs in continuation with that text (§xyz), but for a beter comaprison to Meadhros text I toke up his paragraph numbers. When ever there are paragraphs §XYa, §XYb etc. you should expact some diverence from Maedhros version to this one. But they will be mentioned in the discussion. Some conventions of my writing: Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will bementioned) Bold Text source information, comments and remarks { } = text that should be deleted [ ] = normalised text <source > = additions with source information example = text inserted for garmatical reason / / = outline expansion <WH §266 But Húrin stood silent, and when the company departed, bearing away the body of Manthor, he did not turn. He looked ever west till the sun fell into dark cloud and the light failed; and then he went down alone towards the Hauð-en-Elleth.> §1a (§267) RD-HN-01 <WH Now it is said that those who {…}/sided/ with Hardang were not all caught, and others came in hearing the news, and there was fighting in the Obel, and a great burning, until all was well nigh destroyed. But when the {madness [written above: }wrath{]} of men had cooled they made peace, and some said: 'What hath bewitched us? Surely Húrin begot all this evil, and Hardang and Avranc were more wise. They would have kept him out if they could.' So they chose Avranc to be their chief, since none of the House of Haleth were left, but {[?? }he wielded no{]} such authority and reverence as the Chieftains before, and the Folk of Brethil fell back again to be more like their kinsmen in the {[?}open{]} woods - each minding his own houselands and little {...}[clearings] and their {...}[confederation] was loosened.> §1b (§268) RD-HN-02 <Conclusion of the second draft Manuscript WH; Note 54 But some misliked this and would not serve under Avranc and made ready to depart, and they joined Húrin.> §1c (§269) RD-HN-03 <WH, Note 54, Text 2 At the Taeglin crossing they {fall}fell in with Asgon, who {has}had heard rumour of the wild deeds in Brethil, and of Húrin's coming, and {are}had now been venturing back into the land to seek him. Asgon {greets}greeted him - and {is}was glad that {Harathor}[Hardang] {has}had been punished. /And he /was angered{Angered} that no one had told Húrin of their coming. §1d (§270) But now Húrin {seems}seemed to pick up strength and youth - vengeance {seems}seemed to have heartened him, and he {[ ] and walks}walked now strongly. They passed into the woods <RD-HN-04 editorial edition to make a the term wood-men understandable south of Taeglin> and gathered the last fugitives of the wood-men (the kin of the folk of Brethil).> §1e (§271) RD-HN-05 <WH, Note 54, Text 1 {Asgorn}[Asgon] {they choose}was chosen for captain, but he {treats}treated Húrin as lord, and {does}did as he {will}wanted. /And he asked therefore Húrin:/ ‘Whither shall we go? {They}/We/ must {[? }know{]} a place of refuge.’ /And/ Húrin {elects}elected to go to Nargothrond.> §1f (§272) RD-HN-06 <WH, Year 501 of The Grey Annals Of {the}their wanderings {of Húrin} there is no tale told, until {he}they came at last {late in this year} to Nargothrond. It is said that {he}Húrin had then gathered to him other fugitives and masterless men in the wild, and came south with a following of a hundred or more. But why it was that he went to Nargothrond is uncertain, save that so his doom and the fate of the Jewels led him. Some have said that maybe he knew not that Glaurung was dead, and hoped in his heart distraught to take vengeance on this evil thing - for Morgoth would conceal the death of Glaurung, if he could, both because the loss was a grief to him and a hurt to his pride, and because (from Húrin especially) he would conceal all that was most valiant or successful of Túrin's deeds. Yet this can scarce be so, since the death of Glaurung was so bound up with the death of his children and revelation of their evil case; while the rumour of the assault of Glaurung upon Brethil went far and wide. Certainly Morgoth fenced men in Hithlum, as he was able, and little news came to them of events in other lands; but so soon as Húrin passed southward or met any wanderers in the wild he would hear tidings of the battle in the ravine of Taeglin. More likely is it that he was drawn thither to discover news of Túrin; to {Brethil}[Doriath] he would not yet come{, nor to Doriath}.> §2 Meadhros §2 I did not adopt From here on the main text is taken from The Tale of Turambar and the Foalókë §3a (§273) RD-HN-07 <Sil77 Here it must be told that after the departure of Glaurung Mîm the Petty-Dwarf had found his way to Nargothrond, and crept within the ruined halls; and he took possession of them, and sat there fingering the gold and the gems, letting them run ever through his hands>, singing black songs of enchantment to himself. But none had come nigh till then to despoil him, for the terror of the drake lived longer than he, and none had ventured thither again for dread of the very spirit of {Glorund}[Glaurung] the worm. §3b (§274) Now therefore when {those Elves}[Húrin and his following] approached the dwarf stood before the doors of the cave that was once the abode of {Galweg}[Guilin], and he cried: ‘What will ye with me, O outlaws of the {hills}[woods]?’ §3c (§275) RD-HN-08 <Sil77 But Húrin said: 'Who are you, that would hinder me from entering the house of Finrod Felagund?' §4a (§276) Then the Dwarf answered: 'RD-HN-09{I am Mîm; and before}[Before] the proud ones came from over the Sea, Dwarves delved the halls of Nulukkizdîn. I have but returned to take what is mine; for I am the last of my people.'> §4b (§277) But {Úrin}[Húrin] answered: ‘We come to take what is not thine.’ §4c (§287) RD-HN-09 Then said that dwarf{, and his name was Mîm}: ‘O {Úrin}[Húrin], little did I think to see thee, a lord of Men, with such a rabble. Hearken now to {the}[my] words{ of Mîm the fatherless}, and depart, touching not this gold no more than were it venomous fires. For has not {Glorund}[Glaurung] lain long years upon it, and the evil of the drakes of {Melko}[Morgoth] is on it, and no good can it bring to Man or Elf, but I, only I, can ward it, {Mîm the dwarf,} and by many a dark spell have I bound it to myself.’ §4d (§279) Then {Úrin}[Húrin] wavered, but his men were wroth at that, so that he bid them seize it all, and Mîm stood by and watched, and he broke forth into terrible and evil curses. §5 (§280) Thereat did {Úrin}[Húrin] smite him, saying: ‘We came but to take what was not thine - now for thy evil words we will take what is thine as well, even thy life.' §6 (§281) But Mîm dying said unto {Úrin}[Húrin]: ‘Now Elves and Men shall rue this deed, and because of the death of Mîm the dwarf shall death follow this gold so long as it remain on Earth, and a like fate shall every part and portion share with the whole.’ And {Úrin}[Húrin] shuddered, but his folk laughed. <RD-HN-10 Sil77 {‘Then}[‘It is just that] you shall enjoy your inheritance no longer,' said Húrin; 'for I am Húrin son of Galdor, returned out of Angband, and my son was Túrin Turambar, whom you have not forgotten; and he it was that slew Glaurung the Dragon, who wasted these halls where now you sit; and not unknown is it to me by whom the Dragon-helm of Dor-lómin was betrayed.'> §7 (§282) RD-HN-11<Sil77 Then {he} they entered in, and stayed a while in that dreadful place, where the treasures of Valinor lay strewn upon the floors in darkness and decay{; but it is told that when Húrin came forth from the wreck of Nargothrond and stood again beneath the sky he bore with him out of all that great hoard but one thing only}.> §8 (§283) Now {Úrin}[Húrin] caused his followers to bear this gold to the halls of {Tinwelint}[Thingol], and they murmured at that, but he said: ‘Are ye become as the drakes of {Melko}[Morgoth], that would lie and wallow in gold and seek no other joy? A sweeter life shall ye have in the court of that king of greed, an ye bear such treasury to him, than all the gold of Valinor can get you in the empty woods.’ §9a (§284) Now his heart was bitter against {Tinwelint}[Thingol], and he desired to have a vengeance on him, as may be seen. So great was that hoard that great though {Úrin}[Húrin]'s company might be scarce could they bear it to the caves of {Tinwelint}[Thingol] the king, and some 'tis said was left behind and some was lost upon the way, and evil has followed its finders for ever. §9b (§285)RD-HN-12<QS36 And the curse came upon the possessors in this wise. {Each one}[Many] of Húrins company died or {was}were slain in quarrels upon the road[.]> §10a (§286) Yet in the end that laden host came to the bridge {before the doors} RD-HN-13 <editorial addition of Sirion>, and being asked by the guards {Úrin}[Húrin] said: ‘Say to the king that {Úrin}[Húrin] the Steadfast is come bearing gifts[.’]{,’ and}And when] this was done{.}, RD-HN-14 <Year 502 of The Grey Annals, WH Húrin {is}was admitted in pity.> §10b (§287) Then {Úrin}[Húrin] let bear all that magnificence before the king, but it was hidden in sacks or shut in boxes of rough wood; and {Tinwelint}[Thingol] greeted {Úrin}[Húrin] with joy and with amaze and bid him thrice welcome, and he and all his court arose in honour of that lord of Men; but {Úrin}[Húrin]'s heart was blind by reason of his tormented years and of the lies of {Melko}[Morgoth], and he said: ‘Nay, O King, I do not desire to hear such words - but say only, where is {Mavwin}[Morwen] my wife, and knowest thou what death did Nienor{i} my daughter die?’ RD-HN-14{And Tinwelint said that he knew not.} §11 (§288) RD-HN-15 <Sil77 Well{well} did {he}[Thingol] understand Húrin's intent; but being filled with pity he restrained his wrath, and endured Húrin's scorn[.]> Then did Úrin fiercely tell that tale, and the king and all his folk about him hid their faces for great ruth, but {Úrin}[Húrin] said: ‘Nay, had you such a heart as have the least of Men, never would they have been lost; but lo, I bring you now a payment in full for the troubles of your puny band that went against {Glorund}[Glaurung] the drake, and deserting gave up my dear ones to his power. Gaze, O {Tinwelint}[Thingol], sweetly on my gifts, for methinks the lustre of gold is all your heart contains.’ §12 (§289) Then did men cast down that treasury at the king's feet, uncovering it so that all that court were dazzled and amazed – but {Úrin}[Húrin]'s men understood now what was forward and RD-HN-16<editorial addition some> were little pleased. ‘Behold the hoard of {Glorund}[Glaurung],’ said {Úrin}[Húrin], ‘bought by the death of Nienor{i} with the blood of Túrin slayer of the worm. Take it, O craven king, and be glad that some Men be brave to win thee riches.’ §13 §(290) RD-HN-17 <QS36 'Receive thou thy fee,' he cried, 'for thy fair keeping of my children and my wife! For this is the {Nauglamír, whose name is known to many among Elves and Men;} [the treasure of Felagund] and I bring it to thee out of the darkness of Nargothrond, where Finrod thy kinsman left it behind him when he set forth with Beren son of Barahir to fulfil the errand of Thingol of Doriath!'> §14 taken out §15 (§291) Then were {Úrin}[Húrin]'s words more than {Tinwelint}[Thingol] could endure, and he said: ‘What meanest thou, child of Men, and wherefore upbraidest thou me? Long did I foster thy son and forgave him the evil of his deeds, and afterward thy wife I succoured, giving way against my counsel to her wild desires. {Melko}[Morgoth] it is that hates thee and not I. Yet what is it to me - and wherefore dost thou of the uncouth race of Men endure to upbraid a king of the Eldalie? Lo! in {Palisor}[Cuiviénen] my life began years uncounted before the first of Men awoke. Get thee gone, O {Úrin}[Húrin], for {Melko}[Morgoth] hath bewitched thee, and take thy riches with thee’ - but he forebore to slay or to bind {Úrin}[Húrin] in spells, remembering his ancient valiance in the Eldar's cause. §16 §292) Then {Úrin}[Húrin] departed, but would not touch the gold, and RD-HN-17 {stricken in years he reached Hisilome and died among Men, but his words living after him bred estrangement between Elves and Men.}<The Tale of the Nauglafring{'Behold then,' said Ailios, '}in great grief gazed the king upon {Úrin}[Húrin] as he left the hall, and he was weary for the evil of {Melko}[Morgoth] that thus deceived all hearts; yet tells the tale that so potent were the spells that Mîm the fatherless had woven about that hoard that, even as it lay upon the floor of the king's halls shining strangely in the light of the torches that burnt there, already were all who looked upon it touched by its subtle evil.> Puh, that's a big part of full text. But the next section will be shorter. The discussion will follow in my next post. Respectfully Findegil Just emanded some typos. [ October 27, 2003: Message edited by: Findegil ] Edited the format Last edited by Findegil; 07-19-2004 at 03:26 PM. |
10-27-2003, 04:18 PM | #2 |
King's Writer
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So know some comments. Where Maedhros Version and my own are parallel in detail I will not coment on it:
§1a-f Maedhros had only my §1f but since I think we need as much narative as we can get to make the break bearable between Wh and our text I toke what ever I could get. At the end of §1a I toke "clearings" and "confederation" out of the discribtion of the wood-man. In §1e I made Asgon and Húrin the speakers, because that seemed must natural for me. At the end of §1f we must take out Brethil as a land were Húrin would not jet go since he is coming out of it. §2 Maedhros toke that one out of the Sil77 (it started with Now Húrin crossed over Taeglin .... But my paragraphs §1a-d had already told the contend. §3a-c Maedhros toke the complet paragraph from Sil77. But I enlarged the text with TT. $4a-e; §5; §6a-b Maedhros toke this §§ again directly out of the Sil77. He only added Mîm's cruse at the and. In my version Mîm tries to conceal his name. He only revales it at his end after Húrin had dealed the deathblow (§6). In that way we have a posibility of a longer conversation. I thought it a bit unprobable for Mîm to give the treasure away even for his life, when you consider the "gold"-roots in his sack from which he would not part even for the possible death of his son's. §7 I toke §7 after I saw it fit very well in Maedhros version. I my sefl at a lose to take anything out of the Sil77 with out dear need. And that I could not see here. §10a Equally to the Dwarves Húrin cold not pass so easily the Girdle of Melian (or he should not). So I toke the secret bridge over Sirion as a simple device easy to work in. Mablung is heading to this guarded bridge when he returns with Nienor from Nargothrond. §10b Since the change of the bridge, I wanted a paragraph change here. At the and of the § I toke out the last sentence since at least the death of Nienor was known to Thingol by the report of Mablung. §11 I moved Thingols enduring Húrins scorn to the begining of the §. Because Húrin is already scorning from the begining. §14; §15 Maedhros toke her the §§ beginning with Then Thingol looked upon the great treasure ... out of the Sil77. But for me that was much to soft. Thingol is changed but he is not as week as that. If we take out Húrins healing by Melian, I can't find any reason wy Thingol should not be worth and send Húrin out with bitter words. And we had never seen Melian dealing with guest. Ever it is Thingol that speaks she gives only counsel. $16 Since I will follow Aiwendils device to let the Outlaws fate unclear I have moved the death of Húrin further down. See next section. Respectfully Findegil |
10-28-2003, 03:14 PM | #3 |
The Kinslayer
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Findegil, I will have to look closer at your revisions, but the draft that I had posted is my first one, I have been working on a second one that has some differences to the one that posted here.
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10-28-2003, 04:09 PM | #4 |
King's Writer
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It seems we are inventing the wheel each on our owne. That's not realy good. I will post my version at once in the privat forum to prevent further paralell working.
By the way: Thanks for the offer of the text, but I have already copied it out of the forum. The reworking for the open forum is need very much. but it will take some time. Respectfully Findegil |
10-28-2003, 08:39 PM | #5 |
The Kinslayer
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Actually Findegil, my offer was the second draft which is not posted in the Private Forum yet.
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12-07-2004, 11:48 AM | #6 | |
King's Writer
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Okay this is the first draft of an expansion of the storyline-version. Our basis text is: The History of Middle-Earth; volume 4; The Shaping of Middle-Earth; chapter III: The Quenta Noldorinwa (Q30).
We have three groups of changes: RD-zz: General changes given and discussed in the thread “**Ruin of Doriath - Pre-Revision speculation/proposal thread**”. These changes are taken up here, but they are not indicated by "editorial markers" RD-SL-zz: Changes done to make the storyline fit our understanding developed in the Thread “**Ruin of Doriath - Pre-Revision speculation/proposal thread**”. In that thread I made the mistake to mark them with FD-SL-zz. But the numbers are identical. My apologise if that change does produce a mass now. Some numbers are missing, but that is normal since some of the points of the storyline-discussion did not produce any change in the text. RD-EX-zz For expansions taken from some other source to make the story more detailed. This also includes some changes made in the expansion, which I marked for easier reference. At the beginning we have to create a transition from The Wanderingas of Húrin (WH). Over all the basis text will show trough not to much I think. But we will use it as a leading guideline and any part that is exchanged for some other text should be shown. As before, I start with §266 of WH, which is the last of that text. I have tried to stick to the §-numbering done by Maédhros for his first draft, so that a comparison between that draft #1, my own earlier Version and the current text will be easier. In addition I have numbered the § anew in brackets starting with §267 in continuation of WH and starting over again when we come to the purposed chapter break. If a § of the basic-text is deleted completely it is not numbered. As it has some value as a double-check during my work I will give here in addition to the edited version a clean text version. Some conventions of my writing: Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will be mentioned) Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks { } = text that should be deleted [ ] = normalised text <source > = additions with source information example = text inserted for grammatical reason / / = outline expansion Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next. But the source information is repeated before each §. But some times the new § was taken as an new add and handled accordingly. Here after is given the Version for the public forum. I have ripped it of some of the textual content in many § by inerting dots instead. These dots conceal only General changes (RD-zz), all other changes are given so that they can (hopefuly) be understood. Quote:
Findegil |
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12-07-2004, 11:16 PM | #7 | |
The Kinslayer
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I have some notes regarding the following:
Quote:
§1f (§271) RD-EX-05 <WH, Year 501 of The Grey Annals Of the wanderings of Húrin[ and his men] there is no tale told <editorial addition same of> what had befallen there. At length {he}they came to the banks of Narog, and ventured the passage of the wild river upon the fallen stones of the bridge, as Mablung of Doriath had ventured it before {him}them; and {he}they stood before the broken Doors of Felagund, Húrin leaning upon his staff.> should be: <editorial addition some of> what had befallen there. At length {he}they came to the banks of Narog, and ventured the passage of the wild river upon the fallen stones of the bridge, as Mablung of Doriath had ventured it before {him}them; and {he}they stood before the broken Doors of Felagund, Húrin leaning upon his staff.> Just minor points really.
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"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy." |
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12-10-2004, 11:21 AM | #8 | ||||||||||||||
Late Istar
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Avranc should be changed to Daruin per WH note 55
RD-EX-02 Quote:
RD-EX-04 Quote:
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I understand the deletion of "late in this year" because we are taking it out of the context of the annals - but couldn't we retain it by making it "late in the year"? Thus: Quote:
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RD-EX-08 Quote:
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RD-EX-08 to EX-10: I don't think the sequence of dialogue quite works. Hurin's "we come to take what is not thine" seems like it ought to follow directly from Mim's "what will ye with me, O outlaws of the hills?" Perhaps we could merge RD-EX-09 with RD-EX-10: Quote:
RD-EX-11 Quote:
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RD-EX-17 Hurin's words here ("Receive thou thy fee . . .") were intended to be what he said immediately upon revealing the treasure. It doesn't work to first use his words from TT and to simply follow them with the equivalent words form QS77. Also the words "where Finrod thy kinsman left it behind him . . ." don't seem to work when the treasure is no longer just the Nauglamir (I think these are Christopher's invention, though I could be wrong). Perhaps: Quote:
Also, I don't understand the need for the change "name" > "fame". Quote:
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12-11-2004, 09:07 AM | #9 | |||||||
King's Writer
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RD-EX-05 "late in this year" -> " " or "late in the year"
I did the change the way it was marked following the plot synopsis to the Narn given in WH were Húrin reached Nargothrond in 502. But since we used the possibly later TY as the ruling source in all other querstions we should probably stick to it here. RD-EX-06 addition of "some of" Since we had agreed to let Húrin been reluctance to the killing of Mîm by his men I sought it necessary to make Húrin not all knowing in that case. But I might have over done it here since it might not be expected that Húrin did know all details from what the original text says. But see further down. RD-EX-08 "Galweg" -> "Guilin" or "Orodreth" My vault, sorry I thought he was the father of Flinding and never checked it. My apologise to Maédhros how had it right from the start. RD-EX-09 & RD-EX-10 Quote:
RD-EX-11 Quote:
RD-SL-03: Quote:
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RD-EX-17 Your suggested changes read better then mine. But I would hold the introduction of Húrins words. Leading to: Quote:
§15: I wanted to hold that phrase out of two reasons, and both are debatable: 1. It did emphasis that Thingol did at first not desired the hoard. 2. It did emphasis the longanimity that Thingol showed Húrin in their encounter. Both, I think, are dealt with in the TT passage more implicit, than in the later Q30 account. While searching back what I did and why (the first part where Maédhros and I agreed nearly were not change much from our earlier drafts, and thus some time has been elapsed since I proposed these changes) I found one further passage that we might consider for addition: WH the last end of the Grey Annals: Quote:
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Respectfully Findegil Last edited by Findegil; 12-11-2004 at 09:22 AM. |
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