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Old 07-01-2018, 09:39 AM   #1
ArcusCalion
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Silmaril The Stewards

This is the first draft of the chapter The Stewards.

This chapter uses a thoroughly mixed bag of sources, so I mark every addition made to the text.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years.
TS-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
FY-HL-15 <THE STEWARDS>

TS-SL-01 <Appendix A When Belecthor II, the twenty-first Steward, died, .... for no seedling could be found.
In the days of Túrin II the enemies of Gondor .... high upon the shore of the river, and the enemies of Gondor feared to pass it.> TS-SL-02 <Appendix A Túrin II of Gondor sent to Folcwine a rich weregild of gold.>

TS-AA-01 <Making of Appendix A
{In the latter days of the last age [>} Ere the Elder Days were ended{]}, before the War of the Ring, there was a man named Dírhael {[> Dirhoel]}, and his wife was {Evorwen [>} Ivorwen{]} daughter of Gilbarad, and they dwelt in a hidden fastness in the wilds of Eriador; for they were of the ancient people of the Dúnedain, that of old were kings of men, but were now fallen on darkened days. Dírhael {[> Dirhoel]} and his wife were of high lineage, being of the blood of Isildur though not of the right line of the Heirs. They were both foresighted in many things. Their daughter was {Gilrain}[Gilraen], a fair maid, fearless and strong as were all the women of that kin.>
TS-AA-02 <Appendix A
Arador was the grandfather of the King. His son Arathorn sought in marriage Gilraen the Fair, TS-AA-03 {daughter of Dírhael,} who was {himself}[herself] a descendant of Aranarth. TS-AA-04 <Making of Appendix A Arathorn was a stern man of full years; for the Heirs of Isildur, being men of long life (even to eight score years and more) who journeyed much and went often into great perils, were not accustomed to wed until they had labored long in the world.> To this marriage Dírhael was opposed; for Gilraen was young and had not reached the age at which the women of the Dúnedain wen accustomed to marry.
‘Moreover,’ he said, ‘Arathorn is a stern man of full age, and will be chieftain sooner than men looked for; yet my heart forebodes mat he will be shortlived.’
But Ivorwen, his wife, who was also foresighted, answered: ‘The more need of haste! The days are darkening before the storm, and great things are to come. If these two wed now, hope may be born for our people; but if they delay, it will not come while this age lasts.’
TS-AA-05 <Making of Appendix A[/b] Therefore {Gilrain}[Gilraen] consented and was wedded to Arathorn; and> {And} it happened that when Arathorn and Gilraen .... being but sixty years old when befell.
Then Aragorn, being now the Heir of Isildur, .... Heir of Isildur, if any remained upon earth.>

TS-SL-03 <Appendix A
{But at}At last there came about by chance a meeting between Gandalf and Thorin .... He was weary, and thought to rest there for a while.
Among many cares he was troubled in mind ..... How then could the end of Smaug be achieved?
It was even as Gandalf sat and pondered ..... if I had known where to find you.'
Gandalf looked at him with wonder. 'That .... my mind that is the way also to your halls.'
'Call them so, if you will,' .... would be glad of your counsel.'
'I will come,' said Gandalf; ..... he will be forgotten by the grandson of Thrór.'
The story is told elsewhere of what came ...... and the Dwarves prospered and grew strong again in his day.>
TS-SL-04 <ORP
But ever the shadow in Mirkwood grew deeper, .... but Mithrandir spoke to the Council, saying:
‘It is not needed that the Ring should be found, .... Seven he has recovered three. We must strike.’
To this Curunír now assented, desiring that Sauron ..... for a brief while was made wholesome again.
But their stroke was too late. For the Dark Lord .... and took counsel with none save himself.
Orcs were mustering, and far to the east and the south ..... Mithrandir had in all their counsels given thought to them.>

TS-SL-05 <Appendix A
Turgon followed Túrin TS-SL-06 [in the line of the Stewards], but of his time it is chiefly remembered ..... Saruman took Isengard for his own, and fortified it.>
TS-SL-07 <Appendix A
Fengel {He} was the third son and fourth child of Folcwine of Rohan. He is not remembered .... and won honor in the service of Turgon.>
TS-SL-08 <Appendix A
Thengel {He} took no wife until late, but .... the child of his age. Her brother loved her dearly.
It was soon after Thengel's return ..... on its borders and supporting its enemies.>
TS-SL-09 <Appendix A
Théoden {He} is called Théoden Ednew ..... Then a new line was begun.>
TS-SL-10 <Appendix A
In 2989 Théodwyn married Éomund of Eastfold, ..... surprised by a strong force that lay in wait in the rocks.
Not long after Théodwyn took sick and died ..... and Théoden did not wed again.>
TS-SL-11 <Appendix A
Éomer and Éowyn grew up at Edoras and saw the dark .... whom the Rohirrim had called Steelsheen.> TS-SL-12 <Appendix A When still young {he}Éomer became a Marshal of the Mark (3017) and was given his father's charge in the east marches.>

TS-AA-06 <Appendix A
{But when Estel}When Aragorn was only twenty years of age, it chanced that he returned to Rivendell .... and he delivered to him the heirlooms of his house.
‘Here is the ring of Barahir,’ he said, ..... for you have yet to earn it.’
The next day at the hour of sunset .... before the eyes of those that listen.
For Aragorn had been singing a part ..... were bound with gems like stars.
For a moment Aragorn gazed in silence, ..... in the Elder Days long ago.
Then the maiden turned to him and smiled, .... why do you call the by that name?’
And he answered: ‘Because I believed .... then you walk in her likeness.’
‘So many have said,’ she answered ..... But who are you?’
‘Estel I was called,’ he said; ‘but I am .... compared to her dignity and loveliness.
But she laughed merrily and said: .... and am named also Undómiel.’
‘Often is it seen,’ said Aragorn, .... father has not kept you locked in his hoard?’
‘No,’ she said, and looked up ..... years since I walked in Imladris.’
Then Aragorn wondered, for she had ..... Elrond have the life of the Eldar.’
Then Aragorn was abashed, for ..... Arwen Undómiel daughter of Elrond.
In the days that followed .... meeting in the twilight of the trees.
‘My son,’ said Gilraen, ‘your .... should wed with the Elf-kin.’
‘Yet we have some part in that ..... forefathers is true that I have learned.’
‘It is true,’ said Gilraen, ‘but that ..... good will of Elrond in this matter.’
‘Then bitter will my days be ..... wild alone,’ said Aragorn.
‘That will indeed be your fate,’ .... of what her son had told her.
But Elrond saw many things .... you are found worthy of it.’
Then Aragorn was troubled, .... mother has spoken of this?’
‘No indeed,’ said Elrond. .... of the doom that is laid on us.’
‘What is that doom?’ said Aragorn.
‘That so long as I abide here, .... with me, if she so chooses.’
‘I see,’ said Aragorn, ‘that .... you or with Middle-earth.’
‘Truly,’ said Elrond. ‘Soon, .... and much evil is to come.’
Then Aragorn took leave lovingly ..... devices of the servants of Sauron.
Thus he became at last the most hardy ..... times like a spring from the rock.>

TS-SL-13 <Appendix A
Ecthelion II, son of Turgon, was a man of wisdom. With what power was left to him .... before the days of Ecthelion were ended.
Thorongil often counselled Ecthelion that the strength ..... he would not return to Minas Tirith, where great honor awaited him.
He sent a message of farewell to Ecthelion, .... towards the Mountains of Shadow.
There was dismay in the City at the departure ..... four years he succeeded on the death of his father.
Denethor II was a proud man, tall, valiant, and more kingly ..... and suspected that he and Mithrandir designed to supplant him.>

TS-AA-07 <Appendix A
It came to pass that when Aragorn was nine ..... hidden land by the Lady Galadriel.
He did not know it, but Arwen .... and her doom appointed.
Then for a season they .... their troth and were glad.
And Arwen said: ‘Dark .... valor will destroy it.’
But Aragorn answered: .... you must also renounce.’
And she stood then .... She loved her father dearly.

When Elrond learned .... him to him, and he said:
‘My son, years come ..... may seem hard at the ending.’
So it stood afterwards ..... and the inheritance of Elendil.
After a few years Gilraen ..... before he went:
‘This is our last parting, ..... I shall leave it soon.’
Aragorn tried to comfort her, ..... you see it and be glad.’
But she answered only with this linnod:

Ónen i-Estel Edain, ú-chebin estel anim, [Footnote: I gave hope to the Dúnedain, I have kept no hope for myself.]

and Aragorn went away heavy of heart. Gilraen died before the next spring.>

TS-SL-14 <Appendix A
When Denethor became Steward (2984) he proved ..... and she turned her eyes ever south to the sea that she missed.
After her death Denethor became more grim and silent ..... most close in accord with the one that Sauron possessed.
In this way Denethor gained his great knowledge ..... who resisted Sauron, unless they served himself alone.
So time drew on to the War of the Ring, ..... many other matters he displeased his father.
Yet between the brothers there was great love, ..... these three in the War of the Ring much is said elsewhere.>
FY-HL-15: While I wait for Fin to give his comments on Concerning Gandalf, Saruman, and the Shire, I figured I would post the next chapter, since that one is quite simple and easy, whereas this one is much more dense. Originally I had attched this chapter to the previous one, but after Fin suggested (rightly) that The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel be split into two chapters, I think that this should happen here as well. The second half of Amroth and Nimrodel and this chapter would both fit the title of The Stewards, and so I am torn as to what to do. For the new chapter after Amroth the title The Watchful Peace could work well, since that is discussed there. I am inclined to do that, since this chapter has no such easy title. The only one I can think of is The End of the Third Age which is the title CT gives for the first part of Sauron Defeated. However, this is not strictly true, as the end of the Third Age actually happens in the next chapter, The War of the Ring. Therefore I think it is best to call this chapter The Stewards and the earlier chapter The Watchful Peace. If anyone has any other suggestions I am open to them.

TS-SL-01: We start off with the part of The Stewards narrative in Appendix A where we left off. This carries us through to the events of the Hobbit.

TS-SL-02: This is the only detail given in the Rohan version of the story that is missing from the Stewards account.

TS-AA-01: Here is where the origin of Aragorn's parents belongs chronologically. I use the longer version from the earlier draft of the Tale of Aragorn and Arwen, while keeping the names true to the final versions.

TS-AA-02: Here we switch to the final version from Appendix A

TS-AA-03: This was removed to avoid redundancy with the new first paragraph.

TS-AA-04: This detail from the draft is missing from the final version.

TS-AA-05: This detail from the draft is missing from the final version.

TS-SL-03: Here we have the leadup to The Hobbit given in the Dwarven section of Appendix A. This details the struggle of the Dwarves to gain back Erebor.

TS-SL-04: Here we give the Of the Rings of Power section dealing with the events of The Hobbit, but the ones that deal with Sauron and the ring. I place this after the Dwarven perspective, even though they happen at the same time, simply for ease of readership. I think this works out fine, even if it is slightly misleading about the timeline, but I think it is fine. In this we describe the finding of the Ring by Bilbo.

TS-SL-05: Here we return to the Stewards and mention the arising of Sauron in Mordor once again.

TS-SL-06: Since we broke the narrative, I think we should remind the reader who we are discussing, so I added this.

TS-SL-07: Here we switch back to the kings of Rohan portion of Appendix A. This is Fengel's piece.

TS-SL-08: We follow that with Thengel's.

TS-SL-09: We follow that with Theoden's.

TS-SL-10: Here we discuss Theodwyn, the daughter of Thengel, and her children, Eowyn and Eomer.

TS-SL-11: Here we discuss the childhood of Eowyn and Eomer.

TS-SL-12: This detail is relevant here. I took it from Eomer's description in the kings of rohan section.

TS-AA-06: Here we give the bit about Aragorn coming of age and learning his identity. This takes place chronologically before some of the events in the previous Rohan discussion, but I think it is important to keep those together, so I place it here before the discussion of Ecthelion and Denethor. I changed his name from Estel since in the breaking up of the narrative we may not remember that Estel is an alternate name for Aragorn. This way seems more straightforward and less confusing.

TS-SL-13: Here we switch back to the Sewards narrative and describe Ecthelion, Denethor, and Thorongil.

TS-AA-07: Here we have the troth of Aragorn and Arwen and the beginning of Aragorn's travels, which explains the ending of the Thorongil narrative that preceded.

TS-SL-14: We return to the Stewards narrative to discuss Denethor and his sons, and bring the narrative right up to the time of LotR.

Last edited by ArcusCalion; 07-04-2018 at 03:10 PM.
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Old 07-04-2018, 12:10 PM   #2
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Actually, upon further reflection, I think I can edit the Tale of Aragorn and Arwen into the narrative of the main story. I think this will help add substance and characters to the end of the Third Age in the narrative. The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen begins in this chapter according to chronology, and so I will post my edits shortly with the editing marker TS-AA-xx for Aragorn and Arwen.
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Old 07-04-2018, 02:10 PM   #3
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I have updated the first post with the new version. Apologies for the confusion.
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Old 07-04-2018, 03:12 PM   #4
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Sorry for the multiple posts, but now that the majority of the Aragorn and Arwen story is added to this chapter, perhaps that could be the new title for the chapter: Of Aragorn and Arwen?

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Old 07-09-2018, 04:55 PM   #5
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Some comments on the changes, not considering the recasting discussed in the Outline thread:
TS-AA-02: The reference to Aragorn as king seems out of place. We change it thus:
Quote:
TS-AA-02b<Appendix A Arador{ was the grandfather of the King. His}’s son Arathorn sought in marriage Gilraen the Fair, …
Or we might use another fact about Arador:
Quote:
TS-AA-02b<Appendix A Arador was the {grandfather of the King}[u]fourteenth Chieftain of the Dúnedain[/b]. His son Arathorn sought in marriage Gilraen the Fair, …
TS-SL-03: I will coment much on this, since it is were I would put much more text into the main narrative. But following the approach to put these texts into Appendices the integration of that part in the narrative is good.

TS-SL-04: I agree that it might be the best way to tell the interwoven events in this placing. If we take in Of the Finding of the Ring we must of course skip most of the last paragraph.

TS-SL-05: There is to much redudance in this paragraph, I would reduce it thus:
Quote:
TS-SL-05b<Appendix A Turgon followed Túrin TS-SL-06 in the line of the Stewards, but of his time it is chiefly remembered that two years ere his death, Sauron arose again, and declared himself openly;{ and he re-entered Mordor long prepared for him. Then the Barad-dûr was raised once more,} and Mount Doom burst into flame, and the last of the folk of Ithilien fled far away. When Turgon died Saruman took Isengard for his own, and fortified it.>
TS-SL-07: I think TS-SL-05 and TS-SL-07 should be switched. This is not only nearer to the chronology but reads as well more fluent, since now we start in Rohan then journey with Thengel to Gondor and come back with him to Rohan.

TS-SL-08: This is okay for me even so the last sentence feels a bit redundant.

TS-SL-09: Neither the name Ednew nor the story behind do fit here. If told here they would be pretelling of events to come. I think we should avoid that. And simply leave this addition out. It should be included in the next chapter.

TS-SL-10: Having removed Théoden we have to add his name here:
Quote:

Not long after Théodwyn took sick and died to the great grief of {the king}here brother King Théoden. Her children he took into his house, …
The rest of the chapter is nicely done and I fully agree to it.

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Old 07-09-2018, 08:43 PM   #6
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TS-AA-02b: I agree, and I prefer the second option, with the Chieftain of the Dunedain info.

TS-SL-03/04: In the next post I will give my restructured form of this chapter, where these changes will be made. After that we can discuss the Quest for Erebor and how it could fit in.

TS-SL-05b/07b: Agreed.

TS-SL-09: Agreed. I have found a place for it in the final chapter.

TS-SL-10: Agreed.

Having incorporated these changes, I will make a new post in the same style as the first post, where I will lay out the new structure. I will only explain the changes which were not in the first draft or in this post.

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