Silmarillion Parody - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Urwen · 04-18-2019, 09:41 AM

Here is the space of various Silmarillion parody scenes I can conjure up. Enjoy the silliness!

Silmarillion Parody, Scene 1
Mayhem in Mandos

[enter Feanor, clad in a toga, drink in hand]

FEANOR:
The Valar are cowards, spineless cowards who can't do anything right!

NAMO:
Says someone who was beaten by a Balrog, of all things!

FEANOR:
Need I remind you that Balrogs are dangerous spirits? It's not shameful to die at the hands of one. Just ask Olorin.

[Olorin pokes his head in]

OLORIN:
Yeah, it is true.

NAMO:
Whatever. Now I have to check on your sons before they cause undue trouble.

[Meanwhile, in another part of the Halls]

[all former Lords of Gondolin save one are brandishing their weapons]

EGALMOTH:
I am gonna enjoy this.

ROG:
We're all gonna enjoy this, my friend.

ECTHELION:
But who doesn't enjoy a good old target practice? Especially in these kinds of circumstances?

GLORFINDEL:
I'd say you became a bit of a sadist, old friend.

ECTHELION:
He broke your heart. Surely even someone as noble as you wants to get back at him for hurting you?

GLORFINDEL:
You're right. We all welcomed him as one of our own in spite of his heritage, and how did he repay us? By throwing his lot in with the most hated being in Beleriand....

ECTHELION:
I knew you'd see it my way, old friend. All we need to do now is wait for Pengolodh and Turgon to bring him here.

ROG:
And for Eol to provide the weapons.

[To be continued...]

04-18-2019, 09:41 AM	#1
Urwen Spirit of Nen Lalaith Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Meneltarma Posts: 5,376	Silmarillion Parody Here is the space of various Silmarillion parody scenes I can conjure up. Enjoy the silliness! Silmarillion Parody, Scene 1 Mayhem in Mandos [enter Feanor, clad in a toga, drink in hand] FEANOR: The Valar are cowards, spineless cowards who can't do anything right! NAMO: Says someone who was beaten by a Balrog, of all things! FEANOR: Need I remind you that Balrogs are dangerous spirits? It's not shameful to die at the hands of one. Just ask Olorin. [Olorin pokes his head in] OLORIN: Yeah, it is true. NAMO: Whatever. Now I have to check on your sons before they cause undue trouble. [Meanwhile, in another part of the Halls] [all former Lords of Gondolin save one are brandishing their weapons] EGALMOTH: I am gonna enjoy this. ROG: We're all gonna enjoy this, my friend. ECTHELION: But who doesn't enjoy a good old target practice? Especially in these kinds of circumstances? GLORFINDEL: I'd say you became a bit of a sadist, old friend. ECTHELION: He broke your heart. Surely even someone as noble as you wants to get back at him for hurting you? GLORFINDEL: You're right. We all welcomed him as one of our own in spite of his heritage, and how did he repay us? By throwing his lot in with the most hated being in Beleriand.... ECTHELION: I knew you'd see it my way, old friend. All we need to do now is wait for Pengolodh and Turgon to bring him here. ROG: And for Eol to provide the weapons. [To be continued...] __________________ Tuor: Yeah, it was me who broke [Morleg's] arm. With a wrench. Specifically, this wrench. I am suffering from Maeglinomaniacal Maeglinophilia.