WWLXII: Dead Men Do Tell Tales

[Brinniel]

It was th' crack 'o dawn 'n th' corsair ship Grey Gaurhoth stood ready to set sail. Cap'n Black Death Brinn was th' first to come on deck; she examined her ship, admirin' its beauty. It had be too long since Brinn had last sailed 'n she was anxious to return to th' sea as she waited fer her crew to arrive.

It wasn't long before her first matey Shark Tooth Shasta appeared. Th' pair greeted each other wit' a brief "Arrrr," 'n Shasta took his position at Cap'n Brinn's side. Th' next to arrive was th' quartermaster Lommy th' Infected.
"You aren't infected wit' anythin' contagious, be ye?" Cap'n Brinn asked before she stepped on deck.
"Uhhh...nay," Lommy replied wit' hesitation.
"Very well then. Welcome aboard," Cap'n Brinn said wit' a grunt.

Th' Bosun Slippery McCabbie Dagger made his appearance plenty early, ready to yell at some scurvy dogs. Almost-Blind Nerwen, th' sea artist, stumbled aboard, her tattered eye patch askew to reveal an empty eye socket. As she approached th' cap'n, Brinn could see her remainin' eye was slightly milky.
"Don't worry," Nerwen reassured. "I don't need sight to navigate 'tis ship. I be knowin' th' seven seas like th' back 'o me hand."
Th' pilot Gangrenous Inziladun Jones followed Nerwen, hobblin' on a newly fitted peg leg.
"What happened?" Black Death Brinn asked, pointin' at th' peg leg.
"What do ye think happened?" Inziladun Jones answered bitterly.

Puffy Shirt Rikae, th' cabin boy (or rather, cabin girl), eagerly hopped on deck. "Here I be cap'n, ready to serve," she said.
"Hmm...you look a wee bit barnacle-covered to be cabin boy. What's ye age?" Cap'n Brinn asked curiously.
"Umm...thirteen?" came th' reply.
"Hmph, well ye better lay off th' spiced rum then lassie, because ye certainly don't look thirteen. Be off on then." 'N Puffy Shirt Rikae scurried away.
Next, Snifflin' Mac Sparrow, th' ship cooper, walked on deck too busy wit' his nose buried in a hankie to greet th' rest 'o th' crew. He walked past Brinn, mutterin' somethin' she could not understand, as his words were muffled by th' hankie.

Th' surgeon High-Pitched Annu brought her own saw onto th' ship.
"Ahoy cap'n," she squeaked. "Are me services needed yet?"
"Nay," Black Death Brinn replied. Glancin' over at th' crew, she continued, "but I'm sure it won't be long before I'm gunna."
Th' solo carpenter Legless Sally Dawkins followed Annu carryin' a similar saw. She stepped on deck wit' an unusual grace considerin' she had no legs.

Th' gunner Boromir th' Malformed arrived wit' a great scowl on his malformed face.
"Where's th' other gunner?" Cap'n Brinn asked.
Boromir shrugged, "I dunno. Probably off smokin' his pipe somewhere I'll bet, that swab." Boromir gave a growl, then went on to his business.
Th' piper Poop Deck Kath stepped on th' poop deck, her pipe in hand. She was followed by Whinin' Eomer Bonny who was busy explainin' to Kath how he came by his violin.

Th' strikers Dancin' Mira Blythe 'n Ham-Hands Izzy already proved to do their jobs well as they brought wit' them a collection 'o dead turtles, birds, 'n plants. They dropped their hunt in front 'o Black Death Brinn wit' a great grin on their faces. As th' strikers walked off, th' cooks approached th' ship. Stutterin' Wilwa Scab 'n Short Ruth Mithril came to greet th' cap'n only to find a supply 'o in dead thin's thrusted in their faces.
"Better be off th' galley wit' ye," Cap'n Brinn grunted. "Me hearties gunna be plenty famished by supper 'n thar be a lot 'o grub to be fixed."

Th' powder monkeys were th' last to arrive. First came Cowerin' Gwath Dagger 'n behind him was Lil' Green th' Staggerin' Drunk, who almost staggered off th' plankway. They were followed by Stinkin' Eön Bloodbeard, who was lookin' rather lost.
"What be ye supposed to be doin'?" inquired Cap'n Brinn.
"Umm...I'm not sure," Eön Bloodbeard replied wit' a shrug.
"Well then, ye can join th' powder monkeys. Now ye be off!"

Cap'n Black Death Brinn looked around her ship to find a full crew. "Well, looks like everyone's here," she stated. "Forward ho we go."
But as they began to brin' up th' plankway, Nogrod th' Fashionably Late came runnin'. "Belay!" he cried out. "Wait fer me!" Pantin', he only barely made his way onboard.
"Fashionably late," Cap'n Brinn grumbled. "More like regrettably late. Consider yourself lucky if I'm generous be all I can take to spare ye from a lashin', ye hear?" she shouted at him.

'N now wit' all twenty-one hands on deck, they were ready to be off. Th' crew went to their posts 'n th' Grey Gaurhoth began to make its way off th' Haven 'o Umbar. As they guided th' ship in direction 'o th' sea, th' corsairs 'o course sang their favourite song:

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villians and knaves.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do-well cads,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.


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