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Old 05-19-2009, 03:26 PM   #1
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,694
Findegil is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
The Ruin of Beleriand and the Fall of Fingolfin

Here we go again. This is the first draft of the chapter. To garante that I can edit this I will split the chapter into its sub-chapters.

Our basis text is that of Quenta Silmarillion given in HoME volume 5; page 279-89. I have take up the §-numbers form that text for the easier identification of the changes form LQ. All additions and changes are makred with their source. The text is reduced to the parts we have to change.

There are 4 groups of changes, one for each sub-chapter:
RB-DB-xx for Ruin of Beleriand - Dagor Bargolach
RB-DF-xx for Ruin of Beleriand - Death of Fingolfin
RB-SE-xx for Ruin of Beleriand - Sige of Eithel Sirion
RB-SM-xx for Ruin of Beleriand - Swarthy Men

Beside that we have of course the general changes, but they are collected in a thread of their own.

Some conventions of my writing:
Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will be mentioned)
Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalised text, normaly only used for general changes
<source example> = additions with source information
example = text inserted for grammatical or metrical reason
/example/ = outline expansion
Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next.

Quote:
21 Of the Ruin of Beleriand and the Fall of Fingolfin
§132 Now Fingolfin, ... But because the land was fair and their kingdoms wide, most of the Noldor were grown content with things as they were, trusting them to last RB-DB-01 <GA and were slow to begin an assault in which many must surely perish, were it in victory or defeat>. Therefore they were little disposed to hearken to Fingolfin, and the sons of Fëanor at that time least of all. ... So the designs of Fingolfin RB-DB-02 {came to naught}<GA were delayed and came in the end to naught>, and the land had peace yet for a while.
§133 RB-DB-03 {But when the sons of the sons of the Fathers of Men were but newly come to manhood}<LQ2; Correction to QS But when the RB-DB-04 {fifth}[sixth] generation of Men after Bëor and Marach were not yet come to full manhood>, it being then four hundred years and five and fifty since the coming of Fingolfin, the evil befell that he had long dreaded, and yet more dire and sudden than his darkest fear. ... For Morgoth had long prepared his force in secret, while ever the malice of his heart grew greater, and his hatred of the {Gnomes}[Elves] more bitter; and he desired not only to end his foes but to destroy also and defile the lands that they had taken and made fair. And it is said that his hate overcame his counsel, so that if he had but endured to wait longer, until his designs were full, then the {Gnomes}[Elves] would have perished utterly. ...
§134 There came a time of winter, when night was dark and without moon; and the wide plain of {Bladorion}[Ard-galen] stretched dim beneath the cold stars from the hill-forts of the {Gnomes}[Noldor] to the feet of Thangorodrim. ... Then suddenly Morgoth sent forth great rivers of flame that poured, swifter than the cavalry of the Balrogs, over all the plain; and the Mountains of Iron belched forth RB-DB-05 {fires of many colours, and the fume stank upon the air}<LQ1 fires of many poisonous hues, and the fume thereof stank upon the air> and was deadly. Thus {Bladorion}[Ard-galen] perished, and fire devoured its grasses; and it became a burned and desolate waste, full of a choking dust, barren and lifefless; and its name was changed, and ever after was called {the Land of Thirst, Dor-na-Fauglith}[Dor-nu-Fauglith]<LQ2[Footnote: That is Land under Choking Ash]> in the RB-DB-06 {Gnomish}<LQ2 {Noldorin}[Sindarin]> tongue. Many charred bones had there their roofless grave. For many {Gnomes}[Elves] perished in that burning, who were caught by the running flame and could not fly to the hills. ... This was the Third of the great Battles, Dagor {Vreged-sir}[Bragollach], the Battle of Sudden {Fire}[Flame].
§135 In the front of that fire came {Golmund}[Glaurung] the golden, the father of dragons, RB-DB-07 <GA now in his full might,> and in his train were Balrogs, and behind them came the black armies of the Orcs in multitudes such as the {Gnomes}[Elves] had never before seen or imagined. And they assaulted the fortresses of the {Gnomes}[Noldor], and broke the leaguer about Angband, and slew wherever they found them both the {Gnomes}[Noldor] and their allies, Dark-elves and Men. ... War ceased not wholly ever again in Beleriand; but the Battle of Sudden {Fire}[Flame] is held to have ended with the coming of spring, when the onset of Morgoth grew less. For he saw now that he had not assembled sufficient strength, nor rightly measured the valour of the {Gnomes}[Elves]. ...
§136 Thus ended the Siege of Angband; ...
§137 The sons of {Finrod}[Finarfin] bore most heavily the brunt of the assault, and Angrod and {Egnor}[Aegnor] were slain; and RB-DB-08 {Bregolas son of Bëor, who was lord of that house of Men after his father's death,}<LQ2 Bregolas, son of Bregor, who was lord of the house of Bëor after Boromir his father's death> RB-DB-09 <GA and a great part of the warriors of Bëor's folk> {was}were slain beside them. RB-DB-10 <GA But Barahir his brother was in the fighting further westward nigh the passes of Sirion. There>{In that battle} King {Inglor}[Finrod] Felagund RB-DB-11 <GA , hastening from the south, was defeated> {was}and cut off from his folk RB-Db-12 <GA with small company> and surrounded by the Orcs RB-DB-13 <LQ1 in the Fen of Serech betwixt Mithrim and Dorthonion>, and he would have been slain or taken, but Barahir son of {Bëor}[Bregor] came up with his men and rescued him, and made a wall of spears about him; and they cut their way out of the battle with great loss. Thus Felagund escaped RB-DB-14 {and went south to Nargothrond, his deep fortress prepared against the evil day}; but he swore an oath of abiding friendship and aid in every need unto Barahir and all his kin and seed, and in token of his vow he gave to Barahir his ring RB-DB-15 <GA , an heirloom of his house>. RB-DB-16 <GA Then {Inglor}[Finrod] went south to Nargothrond RB-DB-17 <QS , his deep fortress prepared against the evil day>, but Barahir returned to Dorthonion to save what he could of the people of Bëor.> RB-DB-18 <LQ2; Correction to QS But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, {he}[Orodreth] sent away his wife{ Meril} to her own folk in Eglorest, and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, and Gilgalad Starlight he was called for the brightness of his eye.>
§138 Barahir was now by right lord of the remnant of the folk of Bëor; but most of these fled RB-DB-19 {now} <LQ1 away> from Dorthonion and took refuge among the people of Hador in the fastness of Hithlum. ... Therefore it was after called by the {Gnomes}[Elves] {Taur-na-Fuin}[Taur-nu-Fuin], which is Mirkwood, and Delduwath, Deadly Nightshade; ...
RB-DB-20 {§139 At length only twelve men remained to Barahir: ...
}§140 So great was the onslaught of Morgoth that Fingolfin and Fingon could not come to the succour of Felagund and his brethren; ... Hador the golden-haired, prince of Men, fell in battle before the walls defending the rearguard of his lord Fingolfin, being then sixty and six years of age, and with him fell Gundor his younger son RB-DB-21 <GA , pierced with many arrows>; and they were mourned by the Elves. But {Gumlin}[Galdor] took the lordship of his father. ...
[Here the picture 'Hringboga Heorte Gefysed' is added with its name as title]
§141 For the war had gone ill with the sons of Fëanor, and well nigh all the east marches were taken by assault. The pass of Aglon was forced, though with great cost to Morgoth RB-DB-22 {; and Celegorn and Curufin being defeated fled south and west by the marches of Doriath and came at last to Nargothrond, and sought harbour with RB-DB-23 {their friend}<LQ1 {Inglor}[Finrod] and> Orodreth. Thus it came to pass that the people of Celegorn swelled the strength of Felagund, but it would have been better, as after was seen, if they had remained in the East among their own kin.}. <GA Celegorn and Curufin held strong forces behind Aglon, and many horsed archers, but they were overthrown, and Celegorn and Curufin hardly escaped, and passed westward along the north borders of Doriath with such mounted following as they could save, and came thus at length to the vale of Sirion.> {Maidros}[Maeðros] the chief of Fëanor's sons did deeds of surpassing valour, and the Orcs could not endure the light of his face; ..., both of the folk of Dorthonion and of the east marches rallied there to {Maidros}[Maeðros]; and for a while he closed once more the pass of Aglon, so that the Orcs could not enter Beleriand by that road.
§142 But they overwhelmed the riders of the folk of Fëanor upon Lothland, for {G1omund}[Glaurung] came thither, and passed through {Maglor}[Maelor]'s Gap, and destroyed all the land between the arms of {Gelion}[Duin Daer] RB-DB-24 <GA broke through{ upon either side, through Aglon and} between {Gelion}[Duin Daer] and {Celon}[Limhir]>. And the Orcs took the fortress upon the west slopes of Mount Rerir, and ravaged all {Thargelion}[Talath Rhúnen], the land of {Cranthir}[Caranthir]; and they defiled Lake Helevorn. Thence they passed over {Gelion}[Duin Daer] with fire and terror and came far into East Beleriand. {Maglor}[Maelor] joined {Maidros}[Maeðros] upon Himring; but {Cranthir}[Caranthir] fled and joined the remnant of his people to the scattered folk of the {hunters}hunter, {Damrod and Diriel}[Amrod], and they retreated and passed Rhamdal in the South. Upon Amon Ereb they maintained a watch and some strength of war, and they had aid of the Green-elves; and the Orcs came not yet into Ossiriand RB-DB-25 {or the wild of South Beleriand}<LQ1 nor to Taur-im-Duinath and the wilds of the south>.
[Here the picture 'Dragon with Warrior' is added with its name as title]
§143 For nearly two years the {Gnomes}[Noldor] still defended the west pass about the sources of Sirion, for the power of Ulmo was in that water, and {Golmund}[Glaurung] would not yet adventure that way, for the time of his full strength was not come; and {Minnastirith}[Minas Tirith] withstood the Orcs. But at length after the fall of Fingolfin, which is told hereafter, RB-DB-26 <GA Morgoth learning now of the defeat of the sons of {Finrod}[Finrafin], and the scattering of the people of Fëanor, hemmed RB-DB-27{Fingolfin}[Fingon] in Hithlum and sent a great force to attack the westward pass into the vales of Sirion>. Sauron came against Orodreth, the warden of the tower, with RB-DB-28 {a host of} Balrogs. RB-DB-29 {Sauron was the chief servant of the evil Vala, whom he had suborned to his service in Valinor from among the people of the Gods. He was become a wizard of dreadful power, master of necromancy,}<LQ1 Now Sauron, whom the RB-DB-30 {Noldor call Gorthu}<LQ2 Sindar called Gorthaur>, was the chief servant of Morgoth. RB-DB-31 {In Valinor he had dwelt among the people of the {gods}[Valar], but there Morgoth had drawn him to evil and to his service. }He was become now a sorcerer of dreadful power, master of shadows and of ghosts,> foul in wisdom, cruel in strength, mis-shaping what he touched, twisting what he ruled, lord of werewolves: his dominion was torment. RB-DB-32 <GA and his hosts broke through and besieged the fortress of {Inglor}[Finrod], {Minnas-tirith}[Minas-Tirith] upon Tolsirion.> He took {Minnastirith}[Minas Tirith] by assault, RB-DB-33 {the tower of {Inglor}[Finrod] upon the isle of Sirion,}<GA after bitter fighting> for a dark cloud of fear fell upon those that defended it; RB-DB-34 <GA and Orodreth the {brother of Inglor}[Steward of Finrod] who held it was driven out. There he would have been slain, but Celegorn and Curufin came up with their riders, and such other force as they could gather, and they fought fiercely, and stemmed the tide for a while; and thus Orodreth escaped and came to Nargothrond. Thither also at last before the might of Sauron fled Celegorn and Curufin with small following; and they were harboured in Nargothrond gratefully, and the griefs that lay between the houses of Finrod and Fëanor were for that time forgotten. RB-DB-35 <moved from aboveThus it came to pass that the people of Celegorn swelled the strength of Felagund, but it would have been better, as after was seen, if they had remained in the East among their own kin.>
§154 But Sauron took {Minnas-tirith}[Minas Tirith] and made it into a watch-tower for Morgoth, and filled it with evil; for he was a sorcerer and a master of phantoms and terror. And the fair isle of Tolsirion became accursed and was called Tol-in-Gaurhoth, Isle of Werewolves; for Sauron fed many of these evil things.> {and}And he made it a stronghold of evil, and a menace; {[Footnote to the text: And it became called {Tol-na-Gaurhoth}[Tol-in-Gaurhoth], the Isle of Werewolves.]} for no living creature could pass through that vale that he did not espy from the tower where he sat. And Morgoth held now also the western pass and his terror filled the fields and woods of Beleriand.
To be continued.

Last edited by Findegil; 11-24-2010 at 09:55 AM.
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Old 05-19-2009, 03:48 PM   #2
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Part two of the text:
Quote:
The Death of Fingolfin
§144 It came to pass that news came to Hithlum that Dorthonion was lost and the sons of {Finrod}[Finarfin] overthrown, and that the sons of Fëanor were driven from their lands. RB-DF-01{Then Fingolfin saw that the ruin of the {Gnomes}[Noldor] was at hand, and he was filled with wrath and despair, and a madness came upon him. And he rode alone to the gates of Angband, and he sounded his horn and smote upon the brazen gates and challenged Morgoth to come forth to single combat. }<GA Now Fingolfin, King of the Noldor, beheld (as him seemed) the utter ruin of his people, and the defeat beyond redress of all their houses, and he was filled with wrath and despair. ... Thus he came alone to Angband's [brazen ]gate and smote upon it once again, and sounding a challenge upon his silver horn he called Morgoth himself to come forth to combat, crying: 'Come forth, thou coward king, to fight with thine own hand! Den-dweller, wielder of thralls, liar and lurker, foe of {Gods}[Valar] and Elves, come! For I would see thy craven face.'> And Morgoth came. That was the last time in these wars that he passed the doors of his stronghold, and it is said that he took not the challenge willingly; for though his might RB-DF-02 {is}<LQ1 was> greatest of all things in this world, alone of the Valar he RB-DF-03 {knows}<LQ1 knew> fear. ... But Fingolfin RB-DF-04 <GA withstood him> {gleamed}gleaming beneath it like a star; for his mail was overlaid with silver, and his blue shield was set with crystals; and he drew his sword Ringil, and it glittered like ice, cold and grey and deadly. ...
§147 Thus died Fingolfin, High-king of the {Gnomes}[Noldor], most proud and valiant of the Elven-kings of old. The Orcs make no boast of that duel at the gate; neither do the Elves sing of it, RB-DF-05 {for sorrow; but the tale of it is remembered, for Thorondor, king of eagles, brought the tidings to Gondolin, and to Hithlum. For Morgoth}<LQ1 for their sorrow is too deep. Yet the tale of it is remembered still, for Thorondor, king of eagles, brought the tidings to Gondolin, and to Hithlum afar off. Lo! Morgoth> took the body of the Elven-king and broke it, and would hew it asunder and cast it to his wolves; but Thorondor came hasting from his eyrie among the peaks of {Gochressiel}[Crissaegrim], and he stooped upon Morgoth, and smote his golden beak into his face. ... Morgoth RB-DF-06 {goes ever halt of one foot since that day, and the pain of his wounds cannot}<LQ2 went ever halt of one foot after that day, and the pain of his wounds could not> be healed; and in his face is the scar that Thorondor made.
§148 RB-DF-07 <GA Now Rochallor had stayed beside the king until the end, but the wolves of Angband assailed him, and he escaped from them because of his great swiftness, and ran at last to Hithlum, and broke his heart and died.> There was lamentation in Hithlum when the fall of Fingolfin became known; ... And the Orcs growing ever bolder wandered at will far and wide, coming down Sirion in the West and {Celon}[Limhir] in the East, and they encompassed Doriath; and they harried the lands, so that beast and bird fled before them, and silence and desolation spread steadily from the North. Great numbers of the {Gnomes}[Noldor], and of the Dark-elves, they took captive and led to Angband, and made thralls, forcing them to use their skill and knowledge in the service of Morgoth. ...
§149 Yet Morgoth sent also his spies and emissaries among the Dark-elves and the thrall-{Gnomes}[Noldor], ... and indeed as the times darkened they had a measure of truth, for the hearts and minds of the Elves of Beleriand became clouded with despair and fear. RB-DF-08 {And most the Gnomes feared}<LQ1 And ever the {Gnomes}[Noldor] feared most> the treachery of their own kin, who had been thralls in Angband; ...
RB-DF-09 <GA {but}But {[struck out: still]} Barahir would not retreat and defended still the remant of his land and folk in Dorthonion. But Morgoth hunted down all that there remained of Elves or Men, and he sent Sauron against them; and all the forest of the northward slopes of that land was turned into a region of dread and dark enchantment, so that it was after called Taur-nu-Fuin, the Forest under Nightshade.
§159 At last so desperate was the case of Barahir that Emeldir the Manhearted his wife ... And some were there received into Haleth's folk, and some passed on to {Dorlomin}[Dor-Lómin] and the people of {Galion}[Galdor] Hador's son. ... For these were slain one by one, or fled, until at last only Barahir and Beren his son, and Baragund and Belegund sons of Bregolas, were left, and with them {[eight >]} nine desperate men whose names were long remembered in song: Dagnir and Ragnor, Radhruin and Dairuin and Gildor, Urthel and Arthad and Hathaldir, and Gorlim Unhappy. ... No help came to them and they were hunted as wild beasts.>
Yet RB-DF-10 {Haleth and his men}<LQ2 the People of Haleth>{ remained still free; for they} had been at first untouched by the northern war, since they dwelt to the southward in the woods by Sirion... for after the taking of {Minnastirith}[Minas Tirith] the Orcs came through the western pass, and would maybe have ravaged even unto the mouths of Sirion; but RB-DF-11 {Haleth}[Halmir Lord of the Haladin] sent swift word to Thingol, being friendly with many of the Elves that guarded the borders of Doriath. And Thingol sent Beleg the bowman, chief of his march-wardens, to his aid with many archers RB-DF-12 <GA and great strength of the Eglath armed with axes>; and {Haleth}[Halmir] and Beleg took an Orc-legion at unawares in the forest, and destroyed it; and the advance of the power of Morgoth southward down the course of Sirion was stayed{.}, RB-DF-13 <GA and the Orcs did not dare to cross the {Taiglin}[Taeglin] for many years after.> Thus the folk of Haleth dwelt yet for many years in watchful peace in the forest of Brethil; and behind their guard the kingdom of Nargothrond had respite and mustered anew its strength.
RB-DF-14 §153 It is said that Húrin <GA and Huor> {son}sons of {Gumlin}[Galdor], son of Hador, of Hithlum {was}were with {Haleth}[Halmir] in that battle, and {he was}they were then seventeen[ and thirteen] years of age; and this {was his}were their first deed of arms, but not {his}their last. For {Húrin son}[the sons] of {Gumlin}[Galdor] {was}were fostered for a while in boyhood by {Haleth}[Halmir], according to the custom of Men and Elves in that time. And it is recorded that {in the autumn of the year of Sudden {Fire}[Flame] {Haleth}[Halmir] took Húrin, then newcome from his father's house, and they went hunting} <GA being with a company that was cut off from the rest, they were pursued to the ford of Brithiach; and there they would have been taken or slain, but for the power of Ulmo, which was still strong in Sirion. Therefore a mist arose from the river and hid them from their enemies, and they escaped into Dimbar, and wandered> northward up the vale of Sirion{; and by chance or the will of Ulmo they came upon the secret entrance to the hidden valley of Tumladin, where Gondolin was built}. But they were taken by the {guards}[guard of the eagles], and brought before Turgon; and they looked upon the forbidden city, whereof none of those outside yet knew aught, save Thorondor king of eagles. Turgon welcomed them; for messages and dreams had come to him up Sirion from the sea, from Ulmo, Lord of Waters, warning him of woe to come and foretelling that the aid of mortal men would be necessary, if he would save any of the {Gnomes}[Noldor] from their doom. But Turgon deemed that Gondolin was strong, and the time not ripe for its revealing; and he would not suffer the men to depart. It is said that he had great liking for the boy Húrin, and love was joined to policy; for he desired to keep Húrin at his side in Gondolin. But tidings came of the great battle, and the need of {Gnomes}[Elves] and Men; and {Haleth and }Húrin[ and Hour] besought Turgon for leave to go to the aid of their own folk. Turgon then granted their prayer, but they swore deep oaths to him, and never revealed his secret; and such of the counsels of Turgon as Húrin had learned he kept hidden in his heart. Turgon would not as yet suffer any of his own folk to issue forth to war, and {Haleth and }Húrin[ and Huor] departed from Gondolin alone[ by the way that had come]. But Turgon, rightly deeming that the breaking of the Siege of Angband was the beginning of the downfall of the Noldor, ...
§155 Rumour came to Morgoth of these things, ... Thus Beleriand in the South had a semblance of peace again for a few brief years; but the forges of Angband were full of labour.
TO be continued.
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Old 05-19-2009, 03:52 PM   #3
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Part three of the text:
Quote:
The Sige of Eithel Sirion and the Fall of Galdor
RB-SE-01 <Sil77 When seven years had passed since the Fourth Battle,> <GA {Here} Morgoth renewed his assaults, seeking to advance further into Beleriand and secure his hold southwards. ... The army that had driven into East Beleriand had been broken by Thingol on the borders of Doriath, and part had fled away south never to return to him, part retreating north had been stricken by a sortie of {Maidros}[Maeðros], while those that ventured near the mountains were hunted by the Dwarves. And still upon his flank Hithlum stood firm.>
{§156 Nor did the assault upon the northern strongholds cease. Himring Morgoth besieged so close that no help might come from {Maidros}[Maeðros], and he threw suddenly a great force against Hithlum.} RB-SE-02 <GA §171 He resolved, therefore, now to send force against Hithlum; for in the eastward war he hoped ere long to have new help unforeseen by the Eldar. The assault upon Hithlum was bitter, but it was repelled from the passes of Erydwethrin. There, however, in the siege of the fortress of Eithel Sirion {Galion}[Galdor] was slain, for he held it on behalf of King Fingon. Húrin his son was but then new come to manhood, but he was mighty in heart and strength, and he defeated the Orcs and drove them with loss from the walls into the sands of Anfauglith. Thereafter he ruled the House of Hador. {[Added subsequently:]} Of less stature was he than his father (or his son after him), but tireless and enduring in body; lithe and swift he was, after the manner of his mother's kin, the daughter of {Haleth}[Halmir].
§172 But King Fingon with most of the Noldor was hard put to it to hold back the army of Angband that came down from the north.> The Orcs won many of the passes, and some came even into Mithrim RB-SE-03 <GA Battle was joined upon the very plains of Hithlum, and Fingon was outnumbered; but timely help came from Círdan. His ships in great strength sailed into Drengist and there landed a force that came up in the hour of need upon the west flank of the enemy. Then the Eldar had the victory and the Orcs broke and fled>; but Fingon drove them in the end with heavy slaughter from the land, and pursued them far across the sands of Fauglith RB-SE-04 <GA , {pursued}pursuing them by the horsed archers even to the Iron Mountains.>. Yet sorrow marred his victory, for [the death of ]{Gumlin}[Galdor] son of Hador {was }slain by an arrow in the siege of the fortress of Fingon at Eithel Sirion. {Húrin his son was then new-come to manhood, but he was great in strength both of mind and body; and he ruled now the house of Hador and served Fingon.[Footnote: For he returned unto his own folk after the victory in the woods of Brethil, while the ways north to Hithlum were passable because of the defeat of the Orcs at that time.]} And in this time also the outlaws of Dorthonion were destroyed, and Beren son of Barahir alone escaping came hardly into Doriath.
To be continued.
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Old 05-19-2009, 03:59 PM   #4
Findegil
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Part four of the text:
Quote:
Of the Swarthy Men
§150 To Men Morgoth feigned pity, if any would hearken to his messages, saying that their woes came only of their servitude to the rebel {Gnomes}[Elves], but at the hands of the rightful lord of earth they would get honour and a just reward of valour, if they would leave rebellion. ...
§151 RB-SM-01 <GA {the}The Swarthy Men came out of Eriador, and passing north about the Eryd Luin entered into Lothlann. Their coming was not wholly unlookedfor, since the Dwarves had warned {Maidros}[Maeðros] that hosts of Men out of the further East were journeying towards Beleriand.> Now the Easterlings or Romenildi, as the Elves named these newcomers, were short and broad, long and strong in the arm; their hair was black, and grew much also upon their face and breast; their skins were swart or sallow, and their eyes brown RB-SM-02 {; yet their countenances were for the most part not uncomely, though some were grim and fierce. Their houses and tribes were many, and some had greater liking for the {Dwarfs}[Dwarves] of the mountains than for the Elves. But the sons of Fëanor, seeing the weakness of the Noldor, and the growing power of the armies of Morgoth, made alliances with these men, and gave their friendship to the greatest of their chieftains, Bor and Ulfang.}<GA But they were not all of one kind, in looks or in temper, or in tongue. Some were not uncomely and were fair to deal with; some were grim and ill-favoured and of little trust. Their houses were many, and there was little love among them. They had small liking for the Elves, and for the most part loved rather the Naugrim of the mountains; but they were abashed by the lords of the Noldor, whose like they had not before encountered.
§174 But {Maidros}[Maeðros], knowing the weakness of the Noldor and the Elf-friends, whereas the pits of Angband seemed to hold store inexhaustible and ever renewed, made alliance with these new-come Men, and gave them dwellings both in Lothlann north of the March, and in the lands south of it. Now the two chieftains that had the greatest followings and authority were named Bor and Ulfang.> And Morgoth was well content; for this was as he had designed. The sons of Bor were RB-SM-03 {Borlas and Boromir and Borthandos}<LQ2 Borlad and Borlach and Borthand>RB-SM-04 <GA , and they were goodly men> ; and they followed {Maidros}[Maeðros] and {Maglor}[Maelor], and cheated the hope of Morgoth, and were faithful. The sons of Ulfang the Black were Ulfast and Ulwarth and Uldor the Accursed; and they followed {Cranthir}[Caranthir] and swore allegiance to him, and proved faithless. RB-SM-05 <GA, Version II (It was after thought that the people of Ulfang were already secretly in the service of Morgoth ere they came to Beleriand.)><GA; Version II [Footnote: Not so the people of Bor, who were worthy folk and tillers of the earth. Of them, it is said, came the most ancient of the Men that dwelt in the north of Eriador in the Second Age and {[? read} in{]} after-days.]>
§152 There was small love between the Three Houses and the Swarthy Men; and they met seldom. For the newcomers abode long in East Beleriand; but the people of Hador were shut in Hithlum, and Bëor's house was well nigh destroyed. {Yet}[u]And[/b] RB-SM-06 {Haleth and his men}<LQ2 the People of Haleth> {remained still free; for they had been at first untouched by the northern war, since they} dwelt to the southward in the woods by Sirion.
I will not comment on the changes today, since I am to tired. I think most of them should be selfevident. Beside I would have to dig deep in my mind to find what I thought back when I made these draft. So please start up the discussion when you see a point I missed or a change you find not okay.
Please feel free to disagree with me!

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Old 05-20-2009, 04:13 AM   #5
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Ok, I was reading your draft. The structure with mine is different because I follow the sequence of Sil77 but in the narrative sense tells the same. I don't think it matters.

Two things, in a first reading, leaving apart the parentage of Orodreth (in my text is the brother of Finrod) I think that is better to place the fled of his wife and sons (including Ereinion, not named Gil-galad yet), with him to Nargothrond when Sauron attacks Minas Tirith.

And why you change the placing of the sentence about Celegorm and Curufin in Nargothrond?

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Old 05-20-2009, 08:13 AM   #6
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About the flight of Gil-galad with his mother: I think the main diffrence between your version and what I propose here, is that Gil-galad and his mother never came to Nargothrond in my version. They are send to the Havens, when things in the north become dangerous. Thus I avoid having Gil-galad involved in the Fall of Nargothrond, which would mean naming a way of escape for him. It is debateable when Gil-galad recived this name.

About Celegrom and Curufin: My understanding is that the brothers got to Nargothrond only after they had rescued Orodreth retreat from Tolsirion. Therefore I told at first only that they retreated to the West from Aglon.

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Old 01-10-2011, 11:17 AM   #7
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[QUOTE=Findegil;597184]Part three of the text:
Quote:
§172 ... but Fingon drove them in the end with heavy slaughter from the land, and pursued them far across the sands of Fauglith RB-SE-04 <GA , {pursued}pursuing them by the horsed archers even to the Iron Mountains.>.
1. There is the redundancy of pursued...pursuing
2. "pursuing them by..." sounds ungrammatical to me
3. Should be Anfauglith

Maybe:
Quote:
§172 ... but Fingon drove them in the end with heavy slaughter from the land, and pursued them <GA {by} with the horsed archers> far across the sands of Anfauglith <GA even to the Iron Mountains.>.

Last edited by Ekimeniso; 01-10-2011 at 02:07 PM. Reason: Inserted "Maybe:"
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Old 01-10-2011, 03:04 PM   #8
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RB-SE-04:
I agree to your suggestion how to deal with the redundancy. But I am not sure that we could not still use 'Fauglith'. The full name was Dor-na-Fauglith 'Land of the Gasping Dust'. Anfauglith would then be 'The Gasping Dust' and Fauglith simply 'Gasping Dust'.

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Old 01-13-2011, 03:04 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Findegil View Post
RB-SE-04:
I agree to your suggestion how to deal with the redundancy. But I am not sure that we could not still use 'Fauglith'. The full name was Dor-na-Fauglith 'Land of the Gasping Dust'. Anfauglith would then be 'The Gasping Dust' and Fauglith simply 'Gasping Dust'.

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Findegil
I have to say I find the whole matter of Fauglith, Anfauglith/Dor-na-Fauglith, Dor-no-Fauglith, Dor-nu-Fauglith confusing. You're right of course.

But something different: how are the changes of the course of events in the Shibboleth generally treated? In this case Fingon's kingship of the Noldor...
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:00 PM   #10
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I propose this, (the phrasing is retranslated from spanish, I'm sorry)

§159 ... Thus the folk of Haleth dwelt yet for many years in watchful peace in the forest of Brethil; and behind their guard the kingdom of Nargothrond had respite and mustered anew its strength.
But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, {he sent away his wife{ Meril}}[Orodreth's wife left the people of Nargothrond and went] to her own folk in Eglarest, and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, Ereinion.>
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Old 05-28-2009, 09:11 AM   #11
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Gondowe: So if I understand correctly, you propose that Orodreth's wife and Gil-Galad first come with Orodreth to Nargothrond and then at some later (but presumably not much later) point are sent away to Eglarest. Is that right?

I don't see any compelling evidence in either direction (placing Gil-Galad's flight before or after the fall of Minas Tirith). But a case can perhaps be made that, despite the alteration of Gil-Galad's parentage, we should still use the date of 456 given in GA. In GA Minas Tirith is taken in 455, so this would seem to favour Gondowe's version. Does that make any sense? I'm not entirely sure about it myself.
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Old 05-28-2009, 09:30 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aiwendil View Post
Gondowe: So if I understand correctly, you propose that Orodreth's wife and Gil-Galad first come with Orodreth to Nargothrond and then at some later (but presumably not much later) point are sent away to Eglarest. Is that right?

I don't see any compelling evidence in either direction (placing Gil-Galad's flight before or after the fall of Minas Tirith). But a case can perhaps be made that, despite the alteration of Gil-Galad's parentage, we should still use the date of 456 given in GA. In GA Minas Tirith is taken in 455, so this would seem to favour Gondowe's version. Does that make any sense? I'm not entirely sure about it myself.
Is there any evidence that precludes keeping the same date? If not, then I agree. We should retain it.
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Old 05-28-2009, 12:47 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Aiwendil View Post
Gondowe: So if I understand correctly, you propose that Orodreth's wife and Gil-Galad first come with Orodreth to Nargothrond and then at some later (but presumably not much later) point are sent away to Eglarest. Is that right?

I don't see any compelling evidence in either direction (placing Gil-Galad's flight before or after the fall of Minas Tirith). But a case can perhaps be made that, despite the alteration of Gil-Galad's parentage, we should still use the date of 456 given in GA. In GA Minas Tirith is taken in 455, so this would seem to favour Gondowe's version. Does that make any sense? I'm not entirely sure about it myself.
Hello guys, sorry, I was busy these days.

Yes Aiwendil, that's right, and I think the 456 date could be a good date.

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Old 05-28-2009, 03:38 PM   #14
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I have looked deeper into the question how to introduce Gil-galads departure into our texts. What is to be analysed is mostly in note on the Later Quenta Silmarillion in HoME 11. I give this note in full as fare as it is concerned with Gil-galad:
Quote:
The other alteration made to QS only, and obviously made much earlier than that just given, was an addition to the end of $137, after the words 'he [Felagund] gave to Barahir his ring'.

But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, he sent away his wife Meril to her own folk in Eglorest, and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, and Gilgalad Starlight he was called for the brightness of his eye.

Felagund's wife Meril has not been named before, nor any child of his; and this is the first appearance of Gil-galad from The Lord of the Rings. Another note on the subject is found in the QS manuscript near the opening of the 'short' (i.e. condensed) version of the tale of Beren and Luthien (see V.293), pencilled rapidly at the foot of a page but clearly referring to the statement in the text that Felagund gave the crown of Nargothrond to Orodreth before his departure with Beren (The Silmarillion p. 170):

But foreseeing evil he commanded Orodreth to send away his son Gilgalad, and wife.

This was struck out; and somewhat further on in the tale of Beren and Luthien in the same version is a third hasty note, without direction for insertion but evidently referring to the passage in which Orodreth expelled Celegorn and Curufin from Nargothrond (The Silmarillion p. 176):

But the Lady _ _ _ wife of Inglor forsook the folk of Nargothrond and went with her son Gilgalad to the Havens of the Falas.

A blank space is here left for the name of Felagund's wife. In each of these mentions, taking them in sequence, her departure is displaced to a later point; but of course they need not have been written in that sequence (although the third presumably replaced the second, which was struck out). On the other hand it seems very unlikely that the three additions do not belong together, though there seems to be no way of discovering with certainty when they were written. - It may also be noticed that a later correction to the old AB 2 manuscript changed the sentence in the concluding annal (V.144) 'But Elrond the Half-elfin remained, and ruled in the West of the world' to 'But Elrond the Half-elven remained with Gilgalad son of Inglor Felagund who ruled in the West of the world.'
In this connection must be mentioned the passage in the Grey Annals $$108-9 (p. 44), where it is expressly stated that 'King Inglor Felagund had no wife', and that when Galadriel came to Nargothrond for the feast celebrating its completion in the year 102 she asked him why:

... but foresight came upon Felagund as she spoke, and he said: 'An oath I too shall swear and must be free to fulfill it and go into darkness. Nor shall anything of all my realm endure that a son should inherit.'
But it is said that not until that hour had such cold thoughts ruled him; for indeed she whom he had loved was Amarie of the Vanyar, and she was not permitted to go with him into exile.

Amarie appears again in GA, in both versions of the retelling of the story of Beren and Luthien ($$180, 199), where it is said that Felagund dwells in Valinor with Amarie.
Later evidence makes it certain that the notes on the QS manuscript represent a rejected idea for the incorporation of Gil-galad into the traditions of the Elder Days; and the passage just cited from the Grey Annals is to be taken as showing that it had been abandoned. That Gil-galad was the son of Fingon (The Silmarillion p. 154) derives from the late note pencilled on the manuscript of GA ($157), stating that when Fingon became King of the Noldor on the death of Fingolfin 'his young son (?Findor) [sic] Gilgalad he sent to the Havens.' But this, adopted after much hesitation, was not in fact by any means the last of my father's speculations on this question.
What I have taken up into the text was the first note and changed it to Orodreth.
In the third note the reason for the wife of Fealgund is very specifically his death in Tol-in-Gaurhoth. Thus it is not useable since we have to switch to Orodreth wife.
But I wonder now if the second note, placed in the story of Beren and Luthien before Felagund leaves Nargothrond is not reffering to Gil-galad as Orodreth’s son? Christopher Tolkien thinks it reffers to Felagunds wife and son. But would not Felagund be much better equiped to order his own wife - obviously the queen of Nargothrond - then Orodreth, the steward?
May be some one with a better take at english gramatic can tell me if the note must reffer to Felagunds son and wife or if it can not as well reffer to Orodreth family.

If it can then I think we should use that second note an incooperate it into our Beren and Luthien poem, like this:
Quote:
Hearing these words there swiftly stood {1910}
beside him ten tried warriors good, [2145]
men of his house who had ever fought
wherever his banners had been brought.
BL-EX-09 {One stooped and}[Edrahil then] lifted up {his}[the] crown,
and said: 'O king, to leave this town {1915}
is now our fate, but not to lose [2150]
thy rightful lordship. Thou shalt choose
one to be steward in thy stead.'
Then Felagund upon the head
of Orodreth set it: BL-SL-04 ‘{Brother}[Nephew] mine, {1920}
till I return this crown is thine.' [2155]
Then Celegorm no more would stay,
and Curufin smiled and turned away.
BL-EX-10 <GA But Felagund spoke ere he bade farewell:
'{But this}This I {will }say to{ you, Celegorn}[Celegorm] the fell,
by the sight that is given me in this hour, [2160]
{that}by neither {thou}thine nor any power
{son of Fëanor}shall thy kin {regain} the Silmarils {ever unto world's end.}gain
before the End; all in vain

you swore. And this that we now seek
shall {come indeed}be delivered from the triple peak, [2165]
but never to your hands shall fall.
Nay, your oath shall devour {you}all
the sons of Fëanor, and{ deliver} to other {keeping} care
Lúthien’s great{the} bride-price {of Lúthien}bear.'>
BL-EX-10.1 <LQ, note to chapter 15 {But foreseeing evil he commanded Orodreth to send away his son Gilgalad, and wife. / But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, he sent away his wife Meril to her own folk in Eglorest, and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, and Gilgalad Starlight he was called for the brightness of his eye.}[u]And to Orordreth further Finrod spoke:
‘In this dark time with little hope
all strong place are now doomed, I fear,
to fall at last before the might of Bauglir.
Thus I command: To Eglarest and her own kin
you send away the wife of thine.
And with her she should take her elvenchild,
called for the brightness of his eye, Gil-galad, Stralight.’
*
My line are not good, really, but they might spark some ideas.

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Old 05-28-2009, 05:50 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Findegil View Post
...
But I wonder now if the second note, placed in the story of Beren and Luthien before Felagund leaves Nargothrond is not reffering to Gil-galad as Orodreth’s son? Christopher Tolkien thinks it reffers to Felagunds wife and son. But would not Felagund be much better equiped to order his own wife - obviously the queen of Nargothrond - then Orodreth, the steward?
May be some one with a better take at english gramatic can tell me if the note must reffer to Felagunds son and wife or if it can not as well reffer to Orodreth family.
The note is sufficiently vague to refer to either. "His" has no clear antecedent; obviously the last "he" referred to was Felagund, but the proper noun "Orodreth" intervenes between the first pronoun and the second. In fact, in the most technical construction, according to the rules of English grammar, the word "his" must refer to Orodreth; as the last noun mentioned is strictly supposed to be the antecedent of all later pronouns of the same form, until the intervention of another noun.

Quote:
If it can then I think we should use that second note an incooperate it into our Beren and Luthien poem, like this:
Quote:
Hearing these words there swiftly stood {1910}
beside him ten tried warriors good, [2145]
men of his house who had ever fought
wherever his banners had been brought.
BL-EX-09 {One stooped and}[Edrahil then] lifted up {his}[the] crown,
and said: 'O king, to leave this town {1915}
is now our fate, but not to lose [2150]
thy rightful lordship. Thou shalt choose
one to be steward in thy stead.'
Then Felagund upon the head
of Orodreth set it: BL-SL-04 ‘{Brother}[Nephew] mine, {1920}
till I return this crown is thine.' [2155]
Then Celegorm no more would stay,
and Curufin smiled and turned away.
BL-EX-10 <GA But Felagund spoke ere he bade farewell:
'{But this}This I {will }say to{ you, Celegorn}[Celegorm] the fell,
by the sight that is given me in this hour, [2160]
{that}by neither {thou}thine nor any power
{son of Fëanor}shall thy kin {regain} the Silmarils {ever unto world's end.}gain
before the End; all in vain
you swore. And this that we now seek
shall {come indeed}be delivered from the triple peak, [2165]
but never to your hands shall fall.
Nay, your oath shall devour {you}all
the sons of Fëanor,
and{ deliver} to other {keeping} care
Lúthien’s great{the} bride-price {of Lúthien}bear.'>
BL-EX-10.1 <LQ, note to chapter 15 {But foreseeing evil he commanded Orodreth to send away his son Gilgalad, and wife. / But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, he sent away his wife Meril to her own folk in Eglorest, and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, and Gilgalad Starlight he was called for the brightness of his eye.}And to Orordreth further Finrod spoke:
‘In this dark time with little hope
all strong place are now doomed, I fear,
to fall at last before the might of Bauglir.
Thus I command: To Eglarest and her own kin
you send away the wife of thine.
And with her she should take her elvenchild,
called for the brightness of his eye, Gil-galad, Stralight.’

*

My line are not good, really, but they might spark some ideas.

Respectfully
Findegil
Perhaps:

Quote:
BL-EX-10.1 <LQ, note to chapter 15 {But foreseeing evil he commanded Orodreth to send away his son Gilgalad, and wife. / But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, he sent away his wife Meril to her own folk in Eglorest, and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, and Gilgalad Starlight he was called for the brightness of his eye.}To Orodreth then Finrod spoke:
‘In this dark time with little hope
I fear at last shall places strong
soon fall before the Orkish throng.
To Eglarest, her home, I say,
thine own dear wife now send away.
And with her take thy young princeling,
Ereinion, heir of the king.
Whose name we call, for eyes so bright,
Gil-galad, the silver Starlight.’

And I also noticed that some of your verses don't have eight syllables after the style of Ann-thennath. Did you not follow that form?

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Old 01-08-2011, 09:47 PM   #16
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One quick question:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Findegil
RB-DF-09 <GA {but}But {[struck out: still]} Barahir would not retreat and defended still the remant of his land and folk in Dorthonion.
So we lose
Quote:
GA $ 158. Now Morgoth's power overshadowed the north-lands, ...
Why? I'm sorry if I'm asking the obvious...

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Old 01-10-2011, 05:26 AM   #17
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RB-DF-04b:
Quote:
That's better than my suggestion, I think, but still a bit dodgy, as the contrasting description of the two contrahents going from Morgoth to Fingolfin is now repeated and (imho) thus loses some of its power (and there is also the redundancy of "tower" and "towered").
I marked that as well. But your mixed sentence is in my veiw also overloaded with metaphorical images. Probably Aiwendil is right and in the ende we have to choose one or the other image here.

RB-DF-07.5:
I don't think we had the suggestion to put in the lamentation in Gondolin at the point Fingolfin is buried before. I like your suggestion to add it even before the building of the cairn. But I would leave Turgons action as in subordinate clause and hold then 'him'. Also we might chnage Gondolin in one place, becuase other wise we get a bad style by our emendation. Either we use 'Tumladen' in the first place or 'in the City' in the second. I prefer 'Tumladen' in the first, because 'in the city' would only move the problem to a double 'city':
Quote:
... And he laid him upon a mountain-top that looked from the North upon the hidden valley of {Gondolin}Tumladen. RB-DF-07.5 <GA There was lamentation in Gondolin when Thorondor brought the tidings, for many of the people of the hidden city were Noldor of Fingolfin's house>; and Turgon coming built a high cairn over him. Neither Orc nor Balrog dared ever after to pass over the mount of Fingolfin or draw nigh his tomb, until the doom of Gondolin was come and treachery was born among his kin. ...
RB-DF-09:
I did not consider to take up the full sentence when I suggested the addition (don't ask me why), but I see that it will work better with that clause:
Quote:
... Therefore if any of the captives escaped in truth, and returned to their own people, they had little welcome, and wandered alone outlawed and desperate.
RB-DB-18b <LQ2; Correction to QS But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, {he}[Orodreth] sent away his wife{ Meril} to her own folk in {Eglorest}[Eglarest], and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, and Gilgalad Starlight he was called for the brightness of his eye.>
RB-DF-09 <GA §158 Now Morgoth's power overshadowed the north-lands, but {[struck out: still]} Barahir would not retreat and defended still the remant of his land and folk in Dorthonion. ...
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:54 AM   #18
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I agree on all points

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findegil View Post
RB-DF-04b:I marked that as well. But your mixed sentence is in my veiw also overloaded with metaphorical images. Probably Aiwendil is right and in the ende we have to choose one or the other image here.

RB-DF-07.5:
I don't think we had the suggestion to put in the lamentation in Gondolin at the point Fingolfin is buried before. I like your suggestion to add it even before the building of the cairn. But I would leave Turgons action as in subordinate clause and hold then 'him'. Also we might chnage Gondolin in one place, becuase other wise we get a bad style by our emendation. Either we use 'Tumladen' in the first place or 'in the City' in the second. I prefer 'Tumladen' in the first, because 'in the city' would only move the problem to a double 'city':RB-DF-09:
I did not consider to take up the full sentence when I suggested the addition (don't ask me why), but I see that it will work better with that clause:Respectfuly
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