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Old 02-19-2003, 11:32 AM   #121
Annunfuiniel
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Silmaril

Oh, thank thee, Meela! Glad you liked it, your original bike scene was so hilarious I had to keep them riding! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

But now my head is totally empty... need..to..get..more..SLEEP..(but this site is so

[img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] you have hang 'round here day AND night) [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Old 02-19-2003, 01:34 PM   #122
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After surfing down the stairs on the shield, Legolas comes to more stairs, but minus a shield.

Legolas spots dead Haldir in the corner.

Legolas: wheeeeee..... *surfs down the stairs on Haldir

Haldir: *bump* *bump* *bump*
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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Old 03-04-2003, 04:13 PM   #123
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On Caradhras:

Snow falls down on top of Fellowship, who are all holding onto each others' sleeves.
Legolas runs forward to pull Gandalf back.
Gandalf slips, pulling Legolas over the edge of the mountain. One by one the rest of the fellowship fall over the edge.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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Old 03-04-2003, 06:12 PM   #124
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My heavens! I thought I was the only one who made up bloopers for movies! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Just because there aren't enough Boromir Bloopers:

Boromir's Death Sneeze

Boromir: "I would have followed you anywhere, my brother... my captain... my king." (he stops breathing)

Aragorn: (teary eyed) "Sleep well, Son of Gondor."

(Suddenly, Boromir lets out a gigantic sneeze, bashing his forehead into Aragorn's nose.)

Boromir: "Oh, Valar, I'm sorry! It's that hay fever."


One Less Stalker?

Boromir: "I would have followed you anywhere, my brother... my captain... my king." (he dies)

Aragorn: (closing Boromir's eyes) "Well, that's one less stalker to worry about...."

"Bullet-proof vest! Brilliant!"

(Boromir hacks Uruk-Hai as they advance on the Hobbits. Lurtz draws forth his bow, nocks an arrow, aims and fires. The arrow flies straight and true, only to bounce off Boromir's chest. Lurtz looks confused until Boromir pulls out a metal plate from under his tunic.)

(Yes, this is a Clint Eastwood and/or Back to the Future reference...)

The World of Men Will Fall!

Boromir: (on the verge of death) "The world of men will fall and my city will come to ruin!"

Aragorn: "I do not know what strength is left in me, but I swear to you, I will not let the White City fa--OOF!" (He falls over backwards)

Boromir: (sarcastically) "Oh, that's real reassuring, Aragorn. Thank you so much. I can die now with a clear mind."

And to get my mind off the Boromir theme:

Curlomer?

(Éomer and Company go riding by singing "Oh! What a Beautiful Mornin'!" at the top of their lungs, leaving a confused Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli behind to wonder what insanity they've wandered into).

Simple Things

(Battle of Helm's Deep just as the Uruk-Hai are beginning to pound their spears on the ground and bellow. Old man releases arrow prematurely and kills one of them. The Uruk-Hai look down at their dead companion, grow deathly silent, then whirl around and run screaming in the opposite direction. The old man is praised and lives as a hero the rest of his days.)
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Old 03-05-2003, 01:09 AM   #125
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This is one of the funniest threads I've ever read. Thanks for the laughs, everyone! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Here's my feeble attempts:

FOTR, at the Council of Elrond:

Legolas: This is no mere ranger! He's a stinky ranger! You gotta give him props for that.

Aragorn: *rolls eyes* Thanks a lot, Legolas.

________________________________

FOTR, when Gandalf and Saruman are fighting:

Saruman: Prepare to meet your maker, Yoda! I mean..er..um..

Gandalf: *arches eyebrows*

_________________________________

TTT, when Gandalf and co. are admiring Shadowfax:

Shadowfax: *gallops majestically in field, ivory mane billowing beautifully as he runs*

Gandalf: He is a prince of horses, one of the fastest and finest..

Aragorn: He's marvelous, absolutely splendid!

Bill the pony: *stalks angrily up, scowling at Gandalf, Aragorn, and Legolas*

Bill the pony: So this is the thanks I get for carrying all of your accursed pots and pans? You never called ME a prince of ponies!
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Old 03-05-2003, 07:38 AM   #126
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Battle of Helms Deep, the old man fires the arrow (Sorry for stealing your idea, Rynoah, I beg you forgive me.) The arrow hits the Uruk Hai and he falls to the floor, dead.

Another Uruk Hai: Oh no!! Bert, please don't be dead...PLEASE...oh no..."

He kneels down beside 'Bert' and crys into his hands. The other Uruk Hai Lower their heads and sob loudly.

A Random Uruk Hai: I can't fight now...not with Bert dead.

Another Random Uruk Hai: Me neither...let's go..

They all leave, crying their hearts out.

Old Man: Wow...now I feel guilty [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
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Old 03-05-2003, 06:34 PM   #127
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Quote:
(Sorry for stealing your idea, Rynoah, I beg you forgive me.)
You are forgiven. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Darkrose: That stinky ranger stint had me laughing until I hurt! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 03-05-2003, 07:30 PM   #128
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Thank you very much [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 03-07-2003, 05:12 PM   #129
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This is one I came up with, but then I saw that it was in someones signiture, so don't get mad at me: [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

In Lothlorien:

Frodo gets up in the middle of the night and walks down to Galadriels mirror. He falls asleep there.

He wakes up to the sound of wispering chatter. The three other hobbits are crowded around the mirror.

Frodo: "What are you doing?!"

Merry: "Ah yes, nice, warm 3 cheese macaroni."

Pippin: "This mirror is great for cooking in."

Sam: "We saved some for you mr. Frodo!"

Frodo: "Take them out you fools, take them out!"

I know, I know, Meela had that copyrighted, but I couldn't help myself... [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
[img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
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Old 03-07-2003, 06:17 PM   #130
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Aragorn: "Come. Let us go hunt some orc."

(He whirls around to run... and promptly falls on his face.)

Gimli: "I think we'd better wait until that ale wears off, Aragorn."


As some of you may know, special effects are usually represented by something (a ball or stick or something) for the actors to refer to and then the graphics are added later. I heard that the balrog was represented by a tennis ball on a stick. Here goes:

Gandalf: "YOU CANNOT PASS!" *taps the tennis ball with his staff*

Or

Gandalf: "Love. Fifteen serving two...." *dowk*
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Old 03-07-2003, 06:37 PM   #131
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Lol! Oh, well, here comes my lame atempt at humor...
Aragorn suddenly realizes, as he is standing on the wall waiting for the orcs to come, that he was floating in the river in his armor. He is rather surprised, and reaches into his armor, pulling out a tag. Reads: 'Middle Earth armor- It floats!' Then, in much smaller letters- 'not for battling purposes.' *First orc shoots arrow.* Aragorn: Oh, sh*t... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

I din't make this one up...it was a caption on www.ninecompanions.net I think. Or maybe somewhere else. Anyway.....
Aragorn: You have my sword...don't you?
Elrond: And your sheath, and your bow, and your wallet. You must be more careful with your things!

Gimli: If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf! We could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome...
Gandalf: Shut up Dwarf. Your cousin is long dead, I attended his funeral. It was so sad...
PJ: CUT!

Boromir: It's moving fast. Against the wind.
*The wind picks him up, blows him away in same direction as the "cloud". Boromir *faintly*: Then again, I never was good at things like that...

Theodred: *wakes up, realizes he is 6 feet under* Crud! PJ, get me out of here! This wasn't in my contract!

Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark. As a matter of fact- *looks over at Gimli writhing on the ground*- we did.

It's lame, I know. Understatement. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

[ March 07, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]
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Old 03-07-2003, 08:41 PM   #132
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The Fellowship on Cahadhras:

*snow falls down, burying everyone, camera pans out away from scene*...

THE END

That might be weird but whenever I see that part, I can't help but think it looks like the shot you would use to end a film. That would be tragic wouldn't it?
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Old 03-08-2003, 11:19 AM   #133
Meela
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lol! these are brilliant!

"can galadriel cok noodles in her mirror on a warm day?"

that one, himaran?

yep, its mine, and its copyrighted... but i'll let you off this time [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 03-08-2003, 11:29 AM   #134
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*IN Mount Doom*
Frodo: I think I'll just keep the ring. *cough* I SAID, I THINK.... I'LL JUST KEEP THE RING..... Where's gollum?
Sam: Um, I think he fell in already. Sorry, but he was calling me fat!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*When Aragorn falls off the cliff*
*Scene where Arwen "magically" appears to save him*
Arwen: Ew! I'm not kissing that, it's dead!
PJ: Dead? OH F###! Not again. Looks like we're gonna have to do the whooooole film again.
Gollum: Why not just make him a CGI character like me?
PJ: Good Gollum. You can have a Gollum snack for that!
Gollum: YAY!
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Old 03-08-2003, 08:42 PM   #135
Rynoah, the Overly-Happy
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Quote:
Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark. As a matter of fact- *looks over at Gimli writhing on the ground*- we did.
*cackles*

Elrond: "It cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Glóin, by any weapon we here possess."

*Some random crew member strides up to the ring, whips out a hammer and smashes it flat*

Jackson: "Okay, cut! Dang it, Jeff, will you knock that off?!"
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Old 03-09-2003, 01:34 PM   #136
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Yes, when watching that scene, I always get a mental image of something like that happening. Ooh, somebody thought mine was funny! *does a little victory dance* Yay! I thought it was lame actually, but my opinion doesn't count... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[ March 09, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]
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Old 03-10-2003, 04:22 PM   #137
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All from FotR (my brother's watching it right now)
--------------------------------
The Nazgul in the woods has come by, and Frodo is cowering under the tree, while Sam, Pip, and Merry fight over their mushrooms (silently, but they're still fighting). The Nazgul starts to sniff and the hobbits stop. The Black Rider sniffs furiously, reaches down slowly and menacingly, grabs the mushrooms and runs.
--------------------------------
Scene in the Prancing Pony, where the hobbits are in Aragorn's room, and the Nazgul are filing into the hobbits' room. Suspenseful music, they raise their swords, plunge them in, we figure out the hobbits aren't there, the Ringwraiths figure out the hobbits aren't there, and start to walk out, except one over in the corner, still hacking and slashing away at the pillows.
They all turn around and drag him out, he's wailing "No! Must kill hobbits! Must kill! Kill kill kill!!!!!" The other eight all look embarrassed under their hoods and drag him out of the inn as quickly as possible.
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Old 03-10-2003, 05:07 PM   #138
Rynoah, the Overly-Happy
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Sting

(The Fellowship pulls up on the western shore and everyone gets out, except Boromir who can't seem to get himself out of the boat.)

Boromir: "Damned Elvish boats! Someone give me a hand!"
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Old 03-11-2003, 08:44 PM   #139
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-Directionally Challenged?!

TTT, Helm's Deep...

Gandalf's voice: "Look to the east at the dawn of the fifth day."
Theoden: "Yes, I will ride out with you."
*Theoden charges out the door alone...*
Theoden: "Aragorn?"
*Theoden turns around and sees Aragorn at the westdoor, looking.*
Aragorn: "***?! He said to look to the east, but I see nothing!!"

-I'm Not the One Hungry!!
Pippin: "...dinner, supper, he knows about those, don't he?"
Merry: "I wouldn't count on it."
*Apple flies out of the bush in front of them, finally hitting Merry on the head.*
PJ: "Cut! Let's try that again!"

Fifth time...
Merry: If we switch positions, maybe he'll get it right.
*switches*
*Apple still hits Merry*
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Old 03-11-2003, 09:10 PM   #140
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*at the gates of Moria, Frodo has just been rescued from the Watcher*

"Into the mines!"

*Legolas fires arrows at the creature*

Boromir: LEGOLAS!

*Legolas continues shooting*

Boromir: Legolas we've got Frodo, you can stop now! Ughh fine stay out here if you want! *runs into the mines*

*Boromir comes back out of the mines a few hours later*

"Ok, we found the path, now come on!"

*Legolas seems unaware of Boromir*

*Boromir glances at the Watcher, now dead on the shore decorated with hundreds of arrows*

"Legolas I think it's dead. Legolas?"

Legolas: "One more!" *fires one last arrow into the creature* "There! HA! Mess with an elf, will you?"

Somehow that didn't look quite like I had imagined in my mind, oh well [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Old 03-11-2003, 09:23 PM   #141
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Sorry if this has already been done, but I myself always think this at this part!
Thank you for letting me take your oldman arrow idea.

*Old man fires the arrow, it hits the Uruk and kills it*
From somewhere on the Men's side: Jolly good shot, old chap!
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Old 03-12-2003, 08:16 PM   #142
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Thumbs up

In the mines of Moria, as Gandalf stands reading the Book of Mazarbul, he hands his hat and staff to Pippin, who remains stationary. He's done this scene too many times and knows what could happen if he moves.
Frodo slowly walks over to the well, looks at the skeleton, and gingerly touches it. It falls, of course, making a huge racket.
Gandalf: Fool of a Took!
Pippin: It wasn't me! I was holding your stuff!
Gandalf: I know, Pippin, but "Fool of a Baggins" just doesn't have the same ring.
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Old 03-13-2003, 07:26 AM   #143
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Silmaril

Aragorn attempts to block Eowyn's blade with his; however, he miscalculates. Receives ugly gash in arm, bleeds profusely.

"Juicy SWEET!" Gollum sings. Fish slips from his hand and smacks him between the eyes.


(Er....sorry. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] )
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Old 03-13-2003, 10:56 AM   #144
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those ones are so funny! here are my very bad attempts.
-galadriel looks into her mirror, all of a sudden there is a flash of lightening, which causes a powercut, and her mirror goes suddenly black.
-on weathertop, aragorn throws the burning branch at the ringwraith, but it doesn't catch on fire because it's cloak is fire proof. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Old 03-13-2003, 10:56 AM   #145
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Silmaril

"I willl take the ring, though I think you all are gay."

"Now there's a can opener and no mistake."

"Besides, you need someone with intelligence for this kind of doohickey whatchamacallit thingy dealybopper."

"Let's go hunt some pork." [img]null[/img]
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Old 03-14-2003, 05:49 PM   #146
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OK, this is totally lame but, here goes...

*Aragorn is really nervous about approaching Arwen with his words of love that he gets Legolas to prompt him*

Aragorn: Erm, Arwen...
Arwen: Yes?
Aragorn: Good evening.
Legolas: *loud whisper from the bushes* Charm her!
Aragorn: Good evening?
Legolas: *whaps his head* Whisper something warm and mushy in her ear!
Aragorn: All right then, warm and mushy, warm and mushy...DOG FOOD!
*Arwen laughs her head off and the pair never get married due to Aragorn's stupidity, Legolas gets murdered by Aragorn*

THE END! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 03-14-2003, 08:32 PM   #147
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here goes another one of those terrible lame attempts.......

fotr-buckleberry ferry-

hobbits are all yelling jump frodo jump.
frodo jumps with all of his might and lands in the water and drowns.
sam starts crying.
merry looks at pip and says "i guess what they say is true, white hobbits cant jump." then out of no where gollum bails into the water " my preciousssssss!!!!!"
pj " i quit. george its all yours."
george lucas " mwahahahahahaha " [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Old 03-15-2003, 12:11 AM   #148
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Okay, I'm new at this, but I've got a cartload of them.

council of elrond
elrond: You shall be the Fellowship of the Bracelet!
Pippin: Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: That doesn't sound right...
-----------------
Wraith is sniffing for Frodo. All of a sudden, it jerks back, puts its finger to 1 nostril & blows. A pillbug shoots out.
-------------
Elrond's council
aragorn: you have my sword.
lego: & you have my bow.
gimli: & my axe! *he walks past & whacks elrond under the chin w/ axe*
elrond: @*%$!
gimli:sorry my lord!
PJ: cut! you're uttering some verrry elvish wors there hugo!
----------------
At HD when haldir dies
aragorn is bent over him touching his face.
ara:haldir! come back!
*haldir opens his eyes*
haldir:GOOD GOSH! your hands smell! where've they been?
ara:do ya REALLY wanna know?
------------------
Frodo looks in galadriel's mirror. dr evil appears.
d.e:talk to the hand cuz the face don't wanna hear it anymore!
frodo:what?
d.e:you ain't all that & a bag of potato chips
frodo:sorry?
d.e:don't go there girlfriend *snap x2* mm-hm!
frodo looks at galadriel
galad:i know what it is you saw. for it is also in my mind.although he usually asks for 1 million dollars.
----------------------

hope you like! if u do, say so!
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Old 03-15-2003, 12:42 AM   #149
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I'v seen some killer bloopers. You might consider this lame but here it goes.
--------------
when gandalf visits bag end.fotr
gand:bilbo baggins.
bilbo:gandalf!
As bilbo runs to hug gandalf,he moves and sends bilbo crashing down the steps and through the gate.
---------------
feel free to judge!
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Old 03-15-2003, 12:59 AM   #150
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FOTR Right before Bilbo's party
bibo [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img]ld toby. finest weed in the southfarthing.
*he blows out some smoke it forms the words 'peter jackson is a craphead'*
*gandalf blows some smoke which forms the words '& his mom too'*
PJ:CUT!!! *laughs* well, screw you Ian.
bilbo:which one?
PJ:it doesn't matter, because YOU'RE BOTH FIRED!!!
-------------------
thank you & goodnight. now i shall go for some ale & perhaps mushrooms as well.
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Old 03-15-2003, 02:55 AM   #151
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1420!

OKAY, I've got one more.(FOTR)
FRODO WAKES UP IN RIVENDELL
Frodo:Gandalf, where am I? Uuhh... I've never drank that much ale in my life! My head hurts.
Gand:Elrond! Frodo needs some asprin. *Frodo hurls on him* & I need a scented towelette...

(I kinda thought it was funny)

--------------------------------
Hey dol1 merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
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Old 03-15-2003, 03:34 AM   #152
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Silmaril

Here's a really lame one.

Gandalf repeatedly atempts to blow a smoke ship through Bilbo's smoke ring. However, his lips only produce shapeless blob after shapeless blob.
"I know I can do this! I know I can do this! Half a moment! Blast! My lips are getting numb!"

Er...sorry. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
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Old 03-15-2003, 05:02 AM   #153
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The council of Elrond (extended DVD) when Boromir reaches for the ring and the clouds come over and Gandalf starts speaking dark speak... and the clouds keep coming until it starts raining and starts hailing as well..
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Old 03-16-2003, 06:21 PM   #154
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Silmaril

Okay, here are a couple more:
FotR scene where Frodo jumps in Gandalf's wagon.
Frodo: It's wonderful to see you, Gandalf!
*he jumps to low at the wagon & slams face first into the side*
Gand:Frodo?
-----------------------
FotR Buckleberry Ferry
Merry, Sam, Pip:JUMP, FRODO! JUMP!
*Frodo jumps onto the end of the raft & catapults his friends back onto the bank*
Merry:Coooooolll!!!!!
Sam:WEEEEEE!!!!
Pippin:Look, Merry! I'm flying! I'm- *smack! he hits the ground*

HOPE THEY'RE NOT TOO LAME! [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] (rate me!)
-----------------------
Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
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Old 03-16-2003, 06:31 PM   #155
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Sting

lol these are sooooo funny
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Old 03-16-2003, 08:02 PM   #156
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Quote:
*Frodo jumps onto the end of the raft & catapults his friends back onto the bank*
Or right into the waiting Nazgul. That might be good. He's just standing around, looking in the water, cursing his horse, having given up on getting the hobbits (at least, on this side of the shore), when WHAM! BAM! SAM! Three hobbits in the gut. That'd probably knock the breath out of you. Well... fine, so a Nazgul probably doesn't breathe. They'd probably knock him off his horse, anyhow.
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Old 03-17-2003, 04:14 AM   #157
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Movie Scene: reunion of the hobbits at Rivendell.

All four hobbits run otwards each other, jump up as if to huddle in celebration like in a sports game. WHAM!!! all four butt heads.

Next camera view: taken from above like an out-of-body experience, shows all four hobbits lying splayed out on the ground, knocked out cold. Slowly, they rise and grab their heads with obviuos displays of intense pain. Scene fades....

Deep speaker voice.. Headache?!? Bayer's new patented formula now gives you double the relief in only half the time, buy now for our special value family pack at only... yadiyadiyada....

Hope you like it, I've been laughing so much I've been annoying my co-workers, so I had to try one for myself [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 03-17-2003, 06:07 PM   #158
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Silmaril

Those are super-funny! I'm all laughy taffy!

Tifo...
That was funny! Have you read the topic Story Of The Nazgirls? You really should!

-------------------------------
Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
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Old 03-18-2003, 01:26 PM   #159
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(Frodo wanders away from the Fellowship at the western shore of the Anduin. He appears to be alone, until Boromir comes out of nowhere carrying a bundle of wood. He is about to set a stick on top of the pile as he speaks.)

Boromir: "None of us should wander alone. You least of a--" *TOWNK!*

(Boromir has hit himself in the head with the branch and staggers. Frodo bursts into hysterical laughter.)
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Old 03-18-2003, 04:12 PM   #160
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Ring

Frodo takes a blow by the Cave troll...
Frodo- Why, you bear a striking resemblance to P.J. you know?
Troll- Did you insult Flipper like this too?!
Frodo-welllll no, flipper was cool
Troll-Is That another Insult?!?!
Frodo-erm.. no?
Troll strikes frodo, frodo screams but shrieks end in laughter
Frodo-MUAHAHA I've got MITHRIL!!!

(ok that was the besti could do [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] )
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