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Old 06-22-2018, 09:20 PM   #1
ArcusCalion
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Silmaril The North Kingdom and the Dúnedain

This is the first draft of the chapter The North Kingdom and the Dúnedain.

This chapter is a thoroughly mixed bag of sources, and so there is no base text. Because of this, I have marked every instance of any text used, so as to be easy to follow.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years.
NKD-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
FY-HL-07 <THE NORTH KINGDOM AND THE DÚNEDAIN>

NKD-SL-01 <Appendix A On the death of Ondoher and his sons, .... the Steward of King Ondoher, played the chief part.
The Council of Gondor answered: ..... law is otherwise in Arnor.’
To this Arvedui replied: ‘Elendil had two sons, ..... nor intend that the realm of Elendil should be divided forever.
‘Moreover, in Númenor of old the scepter descended ..... seeing that the sons of Ondoher died childless.’ [Footnote: That law was made in Númenor NKD-SL-02 (as we have learned from the King) when Tar-Aldarion, the sixth king, left only ..... It was, however, from Silmarien that Elendil was descended.]
To this Gondor made no answer. ..... drawing near when the North-kingdom would come to an end.
Arvedui was indeed the last king, ..... until the Dúnedain arise and are united again.’
In Gondor also one king only followed .... Arthedain seemed a small thing, for all the lineage of its lords.
He sent messages to Arvedui announcing that .... and Arvedui when he succeeded did likewise.>
NKD-SL-03 <Appendix A In 1974 the power of Angmar arose again, and the Witch-king came down .... and they escaped by the swiftness of their horses.
For a while Arvedui hid in the tunnels ..... hoping for help from the south; for his horses had perished.
When Círdan heard from Aranarth son of Arvedui of the king's flight ..... the ice was only beginning to break, and lay far out from the shore.
When the Snowmen saw the ship they were amazed ..... In this way a boat from the ship was able to reach them.
But the Snowmen were uneasy; for they said .... but now his breath is deadly, and his cold arm is long.’
But Arvedui did not take his counsel. He thanked him, ..... of all that you desire.’ of all that you desire.’ [Footnote: In this way the ring of the House ..... , and Beren recovered at great peril.]
Yet the counsel of the Lossoth was good, ...... [Footnote: These were the Stones of Annúminas and Amon Sûl. The only Stone ..... That was guarded by the Elves, and NKD-SL-04 though we never knew it, it remained there, until Círdan put it aboard Elrond’s ship when he left. But we are told that it was unlike the others and not in accord .... below covered Númenor forever.] It was long afterwards that news of the shipwreck of Forochel was learned from the Snowmen.
The Shire-folk survived, though war swept over them ...... from whom the Oldbucks claimed descent. He became Thain in 379 of our reckoning (1979).>

NKD-SL-05 <Appendix A {but at}At last in the autumn of 1973 messages came ..... the Witch-king had conquered Arthedain and Arvedui had perished.
But when Eärnur came to the Grey Havens ...... and with them were riders tall and fair, and proud princes of Rhovanion.
Then Círdan summoned all who would come ...... thinking to sweep them, as others before, into the Lune.
But the Host of the West came down on him ..... nor an orc of that realm remained west of the Mountains.
But it is said that when all was lost suddenly ..... and it swerved and bore him far away before he could master it.
Then the Witch-king laughed, and none that heard ..... and he was lost, and none saw whither he went.
Eärnur now rode back, but Glorfindel, ..... desiring only to be avenged for his disgrace.
So ended the evil realm of Angmar; ...... years were still to pass before that was revealed.>
NKD-SL-06 <Appendix A After Arvedui the North-kingdom ended, ..... the star of Elendil, and the scepter of Annúminas.
When the kingdom ended the Dúnedain passed ...... which ever after remained a peril in Eriador, and are not yet ended.>
NKD-SL-07 <Appendix A It was the pride and wonder of the Northern Line that, .... and far beyond the days of even the oldest amongst us.>
This chapter is very straightforward. Most of the editing consists of flipping between the Arnor and Gondor narratives in Appendix A. Fin may be able to find some Heirs of Elendil additions, but as I recall, most of the Arnor storyline was not in its final form in that work.

NKD-SL-01: We start off with the claim of Arvedui over the crown of Gondor. This addition ends in the middle of a sentence, and we continue from the second part of that sentence in NKD-SL-05.

NKD-SL-02/04: Here we may discuss something about the structure of the Appendices. As they are written, they are meant to be written by Hobbits, and so the authorial voice sometimes creeps in, especially in these footnotes. Since we are posing this work as the Translations from the Elvish done by Bilbo, I think we can leave these references to the Hobbit authors in, but I figured I would mark them just in case there is some discussion to be had.

NKD-SL-03: Here we turn to the Arnor narrative with the fall of Arthedain and the death of Arvedui.

NKD-SL-05: Here we return to the sentence we left off at in the Gondor narrative, and tell of the defeat of the Witch-King.

NKD-SL-06: Here we return to the Arnor narrative, and introduce the Dunedain as rangers.

NKD-SL-07: I pulled this paragraph from later on in this part of Appendix A because I think it fits best here as a sort of discussion of the Dunedain in general.

This is a very straightforward chapter, which is the calm before the storm that is the following chapter....
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Old 06-23-2018, 10:11 AM   #2
Findegil
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Yes, this chapter is straight forward, and you are right The Heirs of Elendil has nothing to add here. So in the event I have only three points that are to be discussed:

NKD-SL-05: I find that starting a lookback with 'At last' not very fitting. I would remove a bit more and start with the text given below.

The last paragraph of NKD-SL-03 seems a bit out of place. The war is not yet over, so the survival of the Hobbits would be a kind of fortelling. I would rather move that paragraph. What about this:
Quote:
... It was long afterwards that news of the shipwreck of Forochel was learned from the Snowmen.>
NKD-SL-05<Appendix A{but at last in}In the autumn of 1973 messages came to Gondor that Arthedain was in great straits, ... the Witch-king had conquered Arthedain and Arvedui had perished.
But when Eärnur came to the Grey Havens ... and proud princes of Rhovanion.
Then Círdan summoned all who would come to him, ... into the Lune.
But the Host of the West came down on him out of the Hills of Evendim, ... not a man nor an orc of that realm remained west of the Mountains.
But it is said that when all was lost ... and it swerved and bore him far away before he could master it.
Then the Witch-king laughed, ... but Eärnur was angry, desiring only to be avenged for his disgrace.
So ended the evil realm of Angmar; and so did Eärnur, Captain of Gondor, earn the chief hatred of the Witch-king; but many years were still to pass before that was revealed.>
NKD-SL-06b<Appendix AThe Shire-folk survived, ... He became Thain in 379 of our reckoning (1979).

After Arvedui the North-kingdom ended, ...
Did you leave out the following footnote to th scepter of Annúminas by intention?
Quote:
Footnot to the text: The sceptre was the chief mark of royalty in Númenor, the King tells us; and that was also so in Arnor, whose kings wore no crown, but bore a single white gem, the Elendilmir, Star of Elendil, bound on their brows with a silver fillet'. In speaking of a crown Bilbo no doubt referred to Gondor; he seems to have become well acquainted with matters concerning Aragorn's line. 'The sceptre of Númenor is said to have perished with Ar-Pharazôn. That of Annúminas was the silver rod of the Lords of Andúnië, and is now perhaps the most ancient work of Men's hands preserved in Middle-earth. It was already more than five thousand years old when Elrond surrendered it to Aragorn. The crown of Gondor was derived from the form of a Númenorean war-helm. In the beginning it was indeed a plain helm; and it is said to have been the one that Isildur wore in the Battle of Dagorlad (for the helm of Anárion was crushed by the stone-cast from Barad-dûr that slew him). But in the days of Atanatar Alcarin this was replaced by the jewelled helm that was used in the crowning of Aragorn.'
Respectfully
Findegil

Last edited by Findegil; 06-23-2018 at 11:00 AM.
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Old 06-23-2018, 11:37 AM   #3
ArcusCalion
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NKD-SL-05/06b: Agreed, it flows better this way.

I did not leave this out intentionally, the copy of the Appendices I was using does not have the footnotes in it, so I must have missed this one. Thank you for catching it! I will add it into my draft.

Last edited by ArcusCalion; 06-23-2018 at 11:43 AM.
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Old 07-14-2018, 12:14 AM   #4
ArcusCalion
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I have tried to add in the text of the Prologue to the work. Here I have placed Of the Ordering of the Shire. To do this in the best way, I had to do some mild restructuring.

I took out NKD-SL-06, so that the chapter proceeds as if it was removed. Then, after it finishes, I added in a subheading (FY-HL-07.5): Of the Ordering of the Shire:

Quote:
FY-HL-07.5 Of the Ordering of the Shire

NKD-SL-06b <Appendix A The Shire-folk survived, though war swept over them and most of them fled into hiding. To the help of the king they sent some archers who never returned; and others went also to the battle in which Angmar was overthrown (of which more is said in the annals of the South). Afterwards in the peace that followed the Shire-folk ruled themselves and prospered. They chose a Thain to take the place of the King, and were content; though for a long time many still looked for the return of the King. But at last that hope was forgotten, and remained only in the saying When the King comes back, used of some good that could not be achieved, or of some evil that could not be amended. The first Shire-thain was one Bucca of the Marish, from whom the Oldbucks claimed descent. He became Thain in 379 of our reckoning (1979).>
NKD-SL-06.1 <LotR Prologue
Forty leagues {it}The Shire stretched from the Far Downs to the Brandywine Bridge, and fifty from the northern moors to the marshes in the south. The Hobbits named it {the Shire,} as the region of the authority of their Thain, and a district of well-ordered business; and there in that pleasant corner of the world they plied their well-ordered business of living, and they heeded less and less the world outside where dark things moved, until they came to think that peace and plenty were the rule in Middle-earth and the right of all sensible folk. They forgot or ignored what little they had ever known of the Guardians, and of the labors of those that made possible the long peace of the Shire. They were, in fact, sheltered, but they had ceased to remember it.>
NKD-SL-06.2 <LotR Prologue
Nonetheless, ease and peace had left this people still curiously tough. They were, if it came to it, difficult to daunt or to kill; and they were, perhaps, so unwearyingly fond of good things not least because they could, when put to it, do without them, and could survive rough handling by grief, foe, or weather in a way that astonished those who did not know them well and looked no further than their bellies and their well-fed faces. Though slow to quarrel, and for sport killing nothing that lived, they were doughty at bay, and at need could still handle arms. They shot well with the bow, for they were keen-eyed and sure at the mark. Not only with bows and arrows. If any Hobbit stooped for a stone, it was well to get quickly under cover, as all trespassing beasts knew very well.>
NKD-SL-06.3 <LotR Prologue
The Shire was divided into four quarters, the Farthings already referred to. North, South, East, and West; and these again each into a number of folklands, which still bore the names of some of the old leading families, although by the time of this history these names were no longer found only in their proper folklands. Nearly all Tooks still lived in the Tookland, but that was not true of many other families, such as the Bagginses or the Boffins. Outside the Farthings were the East and West Marches: the Buckland NKD-SL-06.4 {(see beginning of Chapter V, Book I)}; and the Westmarch added to the Shire in S.R. 1462.
The Shire at this time had hardly any 'government'. Families for the most part managed their own affairs. Growing food and eating it occupied most of their time. In other matters they were, as a rule, generous and not greedy, but contented and moderate, so that estates, farms, workshops, and small trades tended to remain unchanged for generations.
There remained, of course, the ancient tradition concerning the high king at Fornost, or Norbury as they called it, away north of the Shire. But NKD-Sl-06.5 by the end of the Third Age there had been no king for nearly a thousand years, and even the ruins of Kings' Norbury were covered with grass. Yet the Hobbits still said of wild folk and wicked things (such as trolls) that they had not heard of the king. For they attributed to the king of old all their essential laws; and usually they kept the laws of free will, because they were The Rules (as they said), both ancient and just.
It is true that the Took family had long been pre-eminent; for the office of Thain had passed to them (from the Oldbucks) some centuries before, and the chief Took had borne that title ever since. The Thain was the master of the Shire-moot, and captain of the Shire-muster and the Hobbitry-in-arms, but as muster and moot were only held in times of emergency, which no longer occurred, the Thainship had ceased to be more than a nominal dignity. The Took family was still, indeed, accorded a special respect, for it remained both numerous and exceedingly wealthy, and was liable to produce in every generation strong characters of peculiar habits and even adventurous temperament. The latter qualities, however, were now rather tolerated (in the rich) than generally approved. The custom endured, nonetheless, of referring to the head of the family as The Took, and of adding to his name, if required, a number: such as Isengrim the Second, for instance.
The only real official in the Shire at this date was the Mayor of Michel Delving (or of the Shire), who was elected every seven years at the Free Fair on the White Downs at the Lithe, that is at Midsummer. As mayor almost his only duty was to preside at banquets, given on the Shire-holidays, which occurred at frequent intervals. But the offices of Postmaster and First Shirriff were attached to the mayoralty, so that he managed both the Messenger Service and the Watch. These were the only Shire-services, and the Messengers were the most numerous, and much the busier of the two. By no means all Hobbits were lettered, but those who were wrote constantly to all their friends (and a selection of their relations) who lived further off than an afternoon's walk.
The Shirriffs was the name that the Hobbits gave to their police, or the nearest equivalent that they possessed. They had, of course, no uniforms (such things being quite unknown), only a feather in their caps; and they were in practice rather haywards than policemen, more concerned with the strayings of beasts than of people. There were in all the Shire only twelve of them, three in each Farthing, for Inside Work. A rather larger body, varying at need, was employed to 'beat the bounds', and to see that Outsiders of any kind, great or small, did not make themselves a nuisance. At the NKD-SL-06.6 {time when this story begins}end of the Third Age the Bounders, as they were called, had been greatly increased.>
NKD-SL-06b: This was the paragraph about the Shire folk, I just moved it for consistency.
NKD-SL-06.1: relevant bit of Concerning Hobbits given.
NKD-SL-06.2: relevant bit of Concerning Hobbits given.
NKD-SL-06.3: The main text Of the Ordering of the Shire.
NKD-SL-06.4: book reference removed.
NKD-SL-06.5: Since we are placing this here, it has not been 1000 years since the kings, so I changed it to work.
NKD-SL-06.6: This needs to be changed since it is a reference to LotR.
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Old 07-15-2018, 07:54 AM   #5
Findegil
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NKD-SL-06b: I agree to the movement, but we have to take care about the editing marks. In its original palce this was the 1. paragraph of a longer part of Appendix A and it was already marked with a 'b' as being the second variant under discussion. I propose to name the shortened add in the original place NKD-SL-06c and name the paragraph about the hobbits used here NKD-SL-06.05.

NKD-SL-06.1: I agree to the insert and to the gramatical change, but at least evnen if 'Shire' should have a kapital 'S' the article 'the' shouldn't have a capital 'T'. But I like to propose a different edit:
Quote:
NKD-SL-06.1<LotR Prologue Forty leagues {it}the land of the Hobbits stretched from the Far Downs to the Brandywine Bridge, and fifty from the northern moors to the marshes in the south. The Hobbits named it the Shire, as the region of the authority of their Thain, ...
NKD-SL-06.5: This is rather an editorial addition than a change for grammatical reasons. But I agree to it.

I as well agree to the rest of the changes.

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Old 07-15-2018, 10:05 AM   #6
ArcusCalion
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Agreed
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