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Search: Posts Made By: Maltaharma
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 09-07-2002, 11:39 AM
Replies: 43
Views: 7,187
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien Of course you all realize Sauron's true passion...

Of course you all realize Sauron's true passion is his own line of jewelry, Evil Jewelry Inc. Though not many know it, besides a one ring there was also a one bracelet, one anklet, one necklace, and...
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 09-07-2002, 11:29 AM
Replies: 136
Views: 14,251
Posted By Maltaharma
Sting I want somebody to draw a picture of this one... ...

I want somebody to draw a picture of this one...
Orcs/Uruk-hai in big poofy dresses and high heels, doing the can-can.
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 09-07-2002, 11:28 AM
Replies: 136
Views: 14,251
Posted By Maltaharma
Sting Just imagine it... The Fellowship sitting...

Just imagine it...
The Fellowship sitting around the campfire, singing kumbayah.

Yup. That's all I have to say.
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 09-07-2002, 11:27 AM
Replies: 136
Views: 14,251
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien Just imagine it... All the Black Riders lying...

Just imagine it...
All the Black Riders lying in the Mordor Community Hospital after their bout with the river.
Rider One: Kazooooo!
Rider Two: Bob! What the h**l is that??
Rider One: It's my...
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 09-07-2002, 11:20 AM
Replies: 122
Views: 54,961
Posted By Maltaharma
Sting Sauron, singing to the tune of Home on the Range,...

Sauron, singing to the tune of Home on the Range, being backed up by Riders on kazoos and banjos
Oh give me my ring
So I don't have to sing
And everyone can go and die
I'll take over the land...
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 09-07-2002, 11:18 AM
Replies: 122
Views: 54,961
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien LOL Morgul Queen, and now in the spirit of your...

LOL Morgul Queen, and now in the spirit of your reply...
Saruman: I'm too sexy for my-
Entire LOTR Cast: STOP!!!!
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 09-07-2002, 11:16 AM
Replies: 122
Views: 54,961
Posted By Maltaharma
Sting (To the tune of the can-can) The Uruk-hai: ...

(To the tune of the can-can)
The Uruk-hai:
Can!
Can you serve Saruman?
Can you do his can-can?
Are you his biggest fan?
Saruman:
You better be or else your dead!
Uruk-hai:
You don't wanna be...
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 09-07-2002, 11:08 AM
Replies: 614
Views: 71,575
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien Black Rider: Give me back my kazoo, dammit!

Black Rider: Give me back my kazoo, dammit!
Forum: The Movies 09-07-2002, 10:43 AM
Replies: 212
Views: 26,451
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien I personally think Aragorn's best line is when he...

I personally think Aragorn's best line is when he says "I will not let the white city fall!" Worst line: when they're at the council of Elrond and he's says, "...it has no other master!" Did anyone...
Forum: The Movies 03-14-2002, 05:39 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 3,821
Posted By Maltaharma
Sting The Lost Diaries of LOTR

First of all, there is a difference between the <I>secret</I> diaries and the <I>lost</I> diaries. Though Ani's were funny too, (and i swear i didnot steal this diary idea) I'd like to might my own...
Forum: The Movies 03-14-2002, 05:23 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 4,794
Posted By Maltaharma
Ring Unfortunately, I have done the exact same thing...

Unfortunately, I have done the exact same thing on my site at <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/lotrthelostdiaries." TARGET=_blank>www.geocities.com/lotrthelostdiaries.</A> So much for either of us...
Forum: The Movies 03-04-2002, 02:06 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 7,432
Posted By Maltaharma
Sting And now I give you, the cast from he;;<P>Frodo:...

And now I give you, the cast from he;;<P>Frodo: Li'l Bow Wow (even humanly possible??)<BR>Gandalf: Sean Connery<BR>Legolas: Leonardo DiCaprio<BR>Gimli: An oompa loompa<BR>Arwen: Madonna<BR>Galadriel:...
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 03-04-2002, 01:58 PM
Replies: 614
Views: 71,575
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien Legolas: Oh my gawd, Gimli, look at her butt. It...

Legolas: Oh my gawd, Gimli, look at her butt. It is soooooo big...

Aragorn: Do you understand the words comin' out of my mouth?!
Boromir: Man, nobody understands the word comin' out of your...
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 03-04-2002, 01:56 PM
Replies: 614
Views: 71,575
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien Legolas: Oh my gawd, Gimli, look at her butt. It...

Legolas: Oh my gawd, Gimli, look at her butt. It is soooooo big...

Aragorn: Do you understand the words comin' out of my mouth?!
Boromir: Man, nobody understands the word comin' out of your...
Forum: Middle-earth Mirth 03-02-2002, 09:09 PM
Replies: 614
Views: 71,575
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien 101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say

One rule:Keep it clean people. Be funny, not crude.
Something Gollum would not say, "Screw this whole ring obsession! I'm going into show business!"At Gollum's therapy session. Therapist: "How did...
Forum: The Books 03-02-2002, 08:52 PM
Replies: 171
Views: 21,144
Posted By Maltaharma
Sting I'd have to vote for the Balrog. After all,...

I'd have to vote for the Balrog. After all, dragons are basically lizards, whose fire comes from within. Balrogs are demons made of fire, something conceived in the bowels of hell. If you make a...
Forum: The Books 03-02-2002, 08:48 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 3,012
Posted By Maltaharma
Tolkien I'm not sure envirolmentalist is the right word....

I'm not sure envirolmentalist is the right word. Naturalist? Definitely. I think that Tolkien felt that trees have their own spirituality, that, if the situation arose they could uproot themselves...
Forum: The Books 03-02-2002, 08:40 PM
Replies: 215
Views: 54,755
Posted By Maltaharma
Sting If Barbie wrote LOTR...from Frodo's perspective. ...

If Barbie wrote LOTR...from Frodo's perspective.
"Oh, my, god, I like totally got this ring and like so does not match with like anything i own so i'm going to take it to Mount Doom and like totally...
Forum: The Books 03-02-2002, 08:36 PM
Replies: 215
Views: 54,755
Posted By Maltaharma
1420! If LOTR was written by (god forbid) The Marx...

If LOTR was written by (god forbid) The Marx Brothers...
Legolas: This morning I got up and shot an orc in my pajamas. How the orc got into my pajamas, I dunno.
Gimli: Honk-honk!
Forum: The Books 03-02-2002, 08:16 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 4,834
Posted By Maltaharma
The Eye Well, Ava, (buddy, pal, friend, classmate, and...

Well, Ava, (buddy, pal, friend, classmate, and fellow cellist)you've certainly opened up an interesting question: was Gollum evil at the beginning? This also opens up a question about the personality...
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