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Old 02-22-2019, 03:29 PM   #2
Findegil
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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Great editing! Everything I do not comment upon I agree to. I have only a very few remarks and a few typos at the end.

LC-01: It is reight to remover Ælfwine, but why not keep the heading ‘Preamble’?

LC-02: Where does this headline come from?

LC-07: I am in doubt here. In LC-08 we correctly replaced this name. So as the texts stands now Finwion would be a kind of theoretical example. Would it not be better to take the real example Inglorion ‘son of Inglor’?

LC-11: We long since abonded the noten that our work has any in-univers reality. Therefore I would let this stand.

LC-12: I do not see a good reason for this change. It is made clear in the following text that fëa could deny the direct instruction and command. What is said here is only that the fëa was easily approachable by the Valar and unable to oferhear.

LC-14: I would let this stand as well. In it original context it would count for the Eldar, but as our texts stand the only reborn race are the Dwarves. And we might suppose that this comment was added when the Eldar learned (by Gimli) of that (for them strange) concept. But in the matter of incarnation the differences between all children of Eru, if of his own begetting of adopted, seem to be small.

LC-16: We might keep this but change it to ‘as {is hereafter}has been told’, since the telling is in the apropirate chapter of the Quenta Silmarillion. Here might therefore be as well the right place for including the footnote from LC-27. What about this editing:
Quote:
LC-16b Thus Míriel was there rehoused in her own body, as {is hereafter}has been told. LC-16.5 <moved from below {And still she is at work, though}Though her name has been changed. For now she is named Fíriel. For before the passing of Míriel the Eldar of Valinor had no word for ‘dying’ in this manner, though they had words for being destroyed (in body) or being slain. But fire meant to 'expire’, as of one sighing or releasing a deep breath; and at the passing of Míriel she had sighed a great sigh, and then lay still; and those who stood by said fírië, ‘she hath breathed forth'. This word the Eldar afterwards used of the death of Men. But though this sigh they take to be a symbol of release, and the ceasing of the body’s life, the Eldar do not confound the breath of the body with the spirit. This they call, as hath been seen, fëa or fairë, of which the ancient significance seems to be rather ‘radiance'. For though the fëa in itself is not visible to bodily eyes, it is in light that the Eldar find the most fitting symbol in bodily terms of the indwelling spirit, 'the light of the house’ or cöacalina as they also name it. And those in whom the fëa is strong and untainted, they say, appear even to mortal eyes to shine at times translucent (albeit faintly), as though a lamp burned within.>]
LC-17: Yes this must be removed here, but maybe we should search for a place for it, because the sentence in itself is true an worth mentioning in our account.

LC-19: I agree to this addition, very good find! But I think we should keep more of the text that was skipt. But for LC-20 I think we should edit it a bit differently:
Quote:
LC-18 As for this re-{birth}[housing], it was not an opinion, but known and certain. LC-19<Glorfindel 1 The Elves were destined to be by nature 'immortal', within the unknown limits of the life of the Earth as a habitable realm, and their disembodiment was a grievous thing. It was the duty, therefore, of the Valar to restore them, if they were slain, to incarnate life, if they desired it - unless for some grave (and rare) reason: such as deeds of great evil, or any works of malice of which they remained obdurately unrepentant. When they were re-embodied they could remain in Valinor, or return to Middle-earth if their home had been there.>LC-19.5 For the fëa re-{born became a child indeed, enjoying once more all the wonder and newness of childhood; but slowly, and only after it had acquired a knowledge of the world and mastery of itself, its memory would awake; until, when the re-born elf}[housed] was a full-grown elf, it recalled all its former life, and then the old life, and the ‘waiting’, and the new life became one ordered history and identity. This memory would thus hold{ a double joy of childhood, and also} an experience and knowledge greater than the years of its body. In this way the violence or grief that the re-born had suffered was redressed and its being was enriched. For the Re-born LC-20b{are twice nourished, and twice parented, [Footnote to the text: In some cases a fëa re-born might have the same parents again. For instance, if its first body had died in early youth. But this did not often happen; neither did a fëa necessarily re-enter its own former kin, for often a great length of time passed before it wished or was permitted to return.] and} have two memories of the joy of awaking and discovering the world of living and the splendor of Arda. Their life is, therefore, as if a year had two springs and though an untimely frost followed after the first, the second spring and all the summer after were fairer and more blessed.
LC-27: I see your doubts about what is said in Shibboleth. But I don’t think this will prevent us from using this text, since a similar statement is made in the text, and then alter revoked when Finwë offers to stay in Mandos. What only might be considered new is that Manwë said ‘her present body will simply wither and pass away ...’ But this I think is not in line with everythink we know about Valinor, specially not with what was said in Aman and mortal Men. Therefore I think we should keep the concept of Míriel being rehoused in her ‘old’ body. But everything from ‘But after a while Niënna came to Manwë ...’ to the LC-28 has been used in our editing of the Quenta Silmarillion. Therefore we must remove it here. Only the footnote concerning the name Fíriel we did not include, and since it bears some interesting infos about things discusse here, we should think about some place for it in the actual account (see my comment on LC-16).

LC-30: The only incarnates re-born are the Dwarves, and we do not know enough about that matter tu use this passage in connection with the Dwarves, so we have to remove it.

There is typo in the 6 §’s of Of the Severance of Marriage: between ‘.. the Dead will not be’ and ‘premitted ever to return ...’ is a superficial line break.

Another one 2 §’s before LC-22: between ‘...marriage proceeds from the fëa’ and ‘and resides ultimately in its will. ...’ a space is missing.

At the end of the third last § before Namna Finwë Míriello the ‘...the length of them time of Waiting ...’ must be ‘...the length of their time of Waiting ...’.

In Yavannas speech was not ‘hron’ italised? If so we should italise ‘erma’.

The next 2 footnotes to the text are missing a fullstop and the end.

In the pronouncement of Námo Mandos we have in the 2 § a superficial line break between ‘... which disfigureth good and maketh it’ and ‘seem hateful.’

And in the over next § ‘...I will proclaim now to your things both near and far.’ Must be ‘...I will proclaim now to you things both near and far.’

Respectfully
Findegil
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