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Old 09-20-2015, 03:43 PM   #6
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,569
Findegil is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
I promissed to give some comments on my changes and here is the first part of this:
First an unusual general change {Morgoth}[Melkor]: I suppose we start calling him Morgoth after Feanor named him thus.

CE-EX-01: The sleep of Yavanna entered the history only in AAm therefore we need this addition.
CE-SL-01: In the later scripts the Balrog were not made by Melkor.
CE-EX-02: Again a long insert from AAm, but what is said there is otherwise not found.
CE-EX-03: The reason from council should be given.
CE-EX-04: Here I have inserted the Legend of the Awaking of the Quendi. As this is a relatively late text I see good reason to insert it.
CE-SL-02, -03, -04 and -05: Our version is a flat earth story, there fore we have to change all passages that refers to the day cycle.
CE-SL-06, -07: This editorial additions serves the same reason: It brings this to reference to the sun and the daytime in line with a flat earth version.
CE-EX-05: A long addition from AAm where the more detailed description is given.
CE-EX-06: Following the idea of gondowe, I added part of the Orc-texts from MT here, and therefore this sentence has to go.
CE-EX-07: I start with the how Melkor did it.
CE-EX-08: The transition to the etymological stuff might be a bit hard. I would appreciate if some one comes up with some thing smother.
CE-EX-09: We also might consider too take more then only the introduction.
CE-EX-10: This half sentence is moved to a later position.
CE-EX-11: If we want transport the full picture, this info from the Munby letter has to included.
CE-EX-12: I just wanted to indicate the origin of the text we go on with.
CE-EX-13, -14: Since what follows in my draft is exactly this ‘consideration of the ultimate origin’ I changed this sentence accordingly.
CE-EX-15: This sentence was moved.
CE-SL-08: Again we stick to our flat earth version and to the time structure in which Men arrive with the first rising of the sun.
CE-EX-16: This is a change made by JRR Tolkien himself.
CE-EX-17: I included this additional info about the Maia-Orks because I found it important. But I removed the comparison to Sauron. We have to discuss if we want to keep the poltergeist.
CE-EX-18: This reference to the third age must go.
CE-EX-19: In the end this is more a paragraph taken out.
CE-EX-20: This back reference is to the paragraph taken out.
CE-SL-09: Again Men are not available until much later.
CE-EX-21: This wild mixture is to e included, I think.
CE-EX-22: Again a reference to Morgoth to be taken out.
CE-EX-23: A last summary of the Ork creation.

I will follow with further comments as fast as I can handle.

Respectfuly
Findegil
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