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Old 07-09-2006, 12:41 PM   #11121
Elennar Starfire
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Pippin: Merry? Is that a talking muffin?
Merry: I think it's a talking muffin, Pip.
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Old 07-09-2006, 01:53 PM   #11122
Gandalf_the _white
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Orcs in background: maybe nobody woud notice if we nibbled an arm off
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Old 07-09-2006, 02:10 PM   #11123
THE Ka
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... When cable arrived to Arda, no one could be distracted, not even orc prisoners.

Orc: It's so clear, and so many channels!
All Orcs: OoooOOOh!

Pippin: ... I thought once we turned the tele on, we'd bolt!

Merry: ... So did I. Can't... Stop... Watching...

~ Aesthete
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Old 07-09-2006, 08:10 PM   #11124
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe

When you're caught with your fist punched through the nest in question it's a little hard to deny killing those pesky birds on your neighbor's property...
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Old 07-09-2006, 10:34 PM   #11125
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After running all day the line to the portable bathroom was extremely long!
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Old 07-10-2006, 01:42 AM   #11126
Brinniel
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Brinniel is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Brinniel is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Brinniel is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Merry: Perhaps playing Cops and Robbers with the Uruk-hai was a bad idea...

OR

Pippin: What's for dinner?

Uruk-hai: *licks their lips*

Pippin: Ohh....
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Old 07-10-2006, 02:17 AM   #11127
Lalwend
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Lalwend is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwend is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Merry: "This reminds me of that other scary thing that happened when I was a lad - when Lobelia asked me to hold a new hank of wool for her while she wound it into a ball."
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:15 AM   #11128
narfforc
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A new episode of Hobbits Holiday's From Hell

or

'How did we get roped into this one then Pippin?'
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:25 PM   #11129
Gandalf_the _white
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Merry: I told you eating the food the orcs gave us would be a bad idea
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:54 PM   #11130
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Spiderman suddenly appears in Middle Earth:
Merry: "But we're not the bad guys; why are you tying us up?"
Pippin: "I don't think he's listening."
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Old 07-10-2006, 07:24 PM   #11131
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Pipe

Merry began to wonder if the "charm bracelet" that Galadriel had given him was perhaps less of a gift & more of a tool to keep him from pilfering more from her lembas pantry.
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Old 07-11-2006, 12:49 AM   #11132
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
The Hobbits had very little success selling insurance door to door in Mordor.

OR

Merry: Please, sir, I want some more!

Sauron: But I've already given you 50 Orcs!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 07-11-2006, 06:43 AM   #11133
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Punishment for parking offences in the U.K.
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Old 07-11-2006, 08:05 AM   #11134
Kitanna
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Kitanna is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kitanna is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Shield

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
Merry and Pippin stole the cookies from Saruman's cookie jar.
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Old 07-11-2006, 08:08 AM   #11135
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MERRY: It's all your fault Pippin! Why didn't you pull your weight? If we'd lynched Ugluk we could still have saved the village...but your refusal to contribute analysis...

PIPPIN: Aw, who cares, it's only a game anyway...
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Old 07-11-2006, 10:32 PM   #11136
THE Ka
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Claiming to be a part of pee-wee's playhouse, Pippin and Merry try to use the 'secret word'...

Merry: Ah... I have new jogging shoes, Pippin, I better run!

Pippin: That's sounds fun Merry, why don't we run for it together...

Orcs: Don't worry, we'll make sure you don't cut and run!

~Aesthete
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Old 07-12-2006, 01:05 AM   #11137
Maeggaladiel
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Merry and Pippin realize too late that they've wandered into the Killing Club Meet, not the Grilling Club Meet.

OR


Pippin: I don't think this is the All You Can Eat Buffet.
Merry: Told you we should have asked for directions.
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Old 07-12-2006, 01:29 AM   #11138
Farael
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Stealing from you, my friend...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeggaladiel
Pippin: I don't think this is the All You Can Eat Buffet.
Merry: Told you we should have asked for directions.
Orks knew how to deal with hobbits that in spite of regulations, sneaked into a all-you-can-eat Buffet
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Old 07-12-2006, 08:29 PM   #11139
Holbytlass
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Merry and Pip choked on their gum when they heard the orcs chant...
All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by all ablebodied patrons in the bar. And don't think we don't know how to weed them out!!
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Old 07-13-2006, 03:36 AM   #11140
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
The Hobbits were confused as to why their Christmas carol team wasn't attracting a crowd, and why most people were running away from them.

It was probably the fact that it was July.

OR

Pippin: Please sir, if you do not buy one of our Orcs, my brother here will go insane! *nudges Merry*

Merry: Oh...right... erm... Wooo!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 07-14-2006, 07:52 AM   #11141
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe

Pippin: "Merry, can't you get us a new picture?"

Merry: "Sorry Pip, but my hands are kind've tied on this one..."




yes, yes, I know you're waiting for it to get to the next page, Hookbill...

yes, yes, I know Gurthang - "Bad puns abound" - you don't have to tell me

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Old 07-14-2006, 08:11 AM   #11142
Oddwen
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Oddwen is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Oddwen is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
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Orc: Yarr! That'll teach you runts won't it?
Merry(meekly): Can I have some more rope?
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Old 07-14-2006, 08:59 AM   #11143
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Only Real Estel
yes, yes, I know you're waiting for it to get to the next page, Hookbill...
It tries to read our mind, my precious!

Anyway...

Merry and Pippin's magic show wasn't going so well when their tour came to Mordor!

Pippin: And now... erm... the amazing Merry-o will escape from these ropes while suspended over a vat of boiling lava... as requested by Sauron.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once.
THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 07-14-2006, 10:59 AM   #11144
The Elf-warrior
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Duel of Doom.

Merry: "I'm sick and tired of this."

Pippin: "Don't worry. A new picture is on the way!"



Morgoth: "I am the Hammer of Doom!"

Fingolfin: "I am the trickster who steals the Hammer of Doom!"

OR

Fingolfin: "Ich bin ein Berliner!"

Morgoth: "Yea! And I'm a jelly covered doughnut!"

Fingolfin: "What I said was perfectly grammatical German!"

Morgoth: "That's beside the point! Germany doesn't exist at this point in history!"
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Old 07-14-2006, 11:03 AM   #11145
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Morgoth: I'm sorry, you must be this tall to enter Angband.

OR

Morgoth: I'm sorry, you must be at least this dead to leave Middle Earth! Muhahaha!

OR yet!

After this, no one dared to try and sell double-glazing at Angband.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 07-14-2006, 11:37 AM   #11146
Beanamir of Gondor
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Eye

Fingolin: Who invited Thor to the costume party?
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Old 07-14-2006, 11:44 AM   #11147
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Shield Tolkien's original dialogue

"I've stood on shards of glass bigger than you!"

"Oh yeah? Well I've killed beasts more handsome than you!"

"Oh yeah? Well I crushed your father with my bare hands!"

"Well......yo momma."

"Oh no you didn't...."

and so on...
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Old 07-14-2006, 12:03 PM   #11148
Mithalwen
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Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Despite being hopelessy badly coordinated Morgoth cannot resist Fingolfin's challenge that he pat his head and rub his tummy at the same time.....
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Old 07-14-2006, 12:06 PM   #11149
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Of all the forms Morgoth could have chosen he choose to be an oversized orc!

or

Fingolfin: *thinking* I know I cannot beat him in might but perhaps if I hold my sword in defiance just long enough he will succumb.
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Old 07-14-2006, 02:26 PM   #11150
Mithalwen
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Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
For some reason Morgoth finds a Jerry Lee Lewis song playing in his mind....
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Old 07-14-2006, 03:49 PM   #11151
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Stone 1 : Arghh, I can't stand it; I really want to help him!

Stone 2
: Forget it Josti. We are inanimate objects, there is nothing you can do about it!
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Rune is my brother from another mother.

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Old 07-14-2006, 04:14 PM   #11152
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davem is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.davem is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Fingolfin: 'I am High King of the Noldor!'
Bouncer: 'For the last time - your name's not down - you're not comin' in!'
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Old 07-14-2006, 06:46 PM   #11153
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe World Cupish

Poor Fingolfin was about to get much more than just a headbutt for insulting Morgoth's mother & sister...
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Old 07-14-2006, 06:56 PM   #11154
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Fingolfin: I am Arthur, King of the Britons...
Morgoth: No, you're Fingolfin.
Fingolfin: A duck!
Morgoth: Yes, you are a quack.

OR

Fingolfin: The Pen is mightier than the Sword! But, I have no pen. Now, if I had paper, I could paper cut him to death. But then, who is to say he does not have some secret army of scissors at his dispo...*squash*
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Old 07-14-2006, 07:02 PM   #11155
Rune Son of Bjarne
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Morgoth is teaching Fingolfin that it is unpolite to point at someone with a sword, even if it is very shiny. . .
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Rune is my brother from another mother.

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Old 07-14-2006, 08:24 PM   #11156
Glirdan
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Monty Python Strikes Again!! Mwhahaha!!!

Morgoth: Stop. Who would cross the Plain of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the Mountain he see.

Fingolfin: Oh fine, ask the questions.

Morgoth: What is your name?

Fingolfin: Fingolfin, High King of the Noldor

Morgoth: What is your quest?

Fingolfin: To slay the Dark Lord Morgoth.

Morgoth: What...is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Fingolfin: I...what? *squish*

OR

Morgoth: I am a knight who says "Ni!"

Fingolfin: And what a mighty knee you have!!

OR EVEN

Fingolfin: But you have no arms!!

Morgoth: What in MY name are you talking about!? I still have arms!!!

Fingolfin: So you do... My bad.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!
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Old 07-15-2006, 12:53 AM   #11157
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Morgoth: For the last time, it's not a skirt!

OR

Fingolfin: *Looks at the small door behind Morgoth* Wait. How did you fit through that?

Morgoth: You don't want to know!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once.
THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 07-15-2006, 04:01 AM   #11158
narfforc
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narfforc has been trapped in the Barrow!
At the Beleriand Costume Ball Fingolfin says to Morgoth: You don't look anything like a Balrog, where's your wings?
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THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....NOW ON FACEBOOK.... SOON TO BE A BOOK.... OOPS IT IS NOW
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Old 07-15-2006, 04:09 AM   #11159
Rune Son of Bjarne
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Question

Morgoth: So you started this cursed thread !

Fingolfin: What! I thought you did. . . .

In this moment Morgoth and Fingolfin discoverd that there was no reason for them to fight and became the best of friends. All anger was now directed towards Hookbill The Goomba !

( I know it should say Robin Headstrong, but by now I think Hookbill has a greater claim to this thread )
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Old 07-15-2006, 06:26 AM   #11160
Oddwen
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(rather inspired by CoD)

Morgoth was a notorious cheat at 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'.
Fingolfin: Wait, there's no mention of a hammer nooo arrrrrrrghhh

Or...

Christian faces down Apollyon.

Or...

Fingolfin: I will face you down you evil...oh my, what spikey shinguards you have...

Morgoth: All the better to squish you with!

Or...

The Middle-earthian version of the statue of Liberty went horribly wrong.

Or...

Fingolfin: I'm Lord Fingolfin, savvy?

Or...

Morgoth: You green-blooded, pointy-eared Vulcan! (Look at Fingy's left knee...)

Or...


Fingolfin's hair wasn't white until he faced down the giant, blackened, spiky Lord of Evil.
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

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