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Old 12-31-2006, 01:07 PM   #1
Encaitare
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The Eye Betcha didn't know that Sauron is secretly a catfish/Azazel/some dead king

AKA these people are crazy.

The LotR-related part is is a little way down the page, so just scroll until you find it. Though if you're in need of some giggles, by all means, read on.

(Hope this hasn't been posted before...)
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Old 12-31-2006, 02:59 PM   #2
Rikae
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Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Heh...they seem to get all their LOTR lore from the movies (or at least view the movies as authoritative)- Gollum eating catfish, and Sauron as a "flaming red eye".
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Old 12-31-2006, 02:59 PM   #3
High King Fingolfin
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The Eye

Now that isn't something I ever expected to see. What was all that junk about Sauron holding his arms up with a mace? It was so ridiculous, I laughed hysterically all the way through. Do these people think Tolkien was some sort of a prophet? Some people really need to increase their daily dose of reality.
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Old 12-31-2006, 05:11 PM   #4
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Shoddy scholarship, shoddy scholarship... What is this rubbish about Sauron taking the form of a giant, flaming eyeball after his defeat in the Last Alliance?

Never mind the REST of it...
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Old 12-31-2006, 05:31 PM   #5
Rikae
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Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by High King Fingolfin
Do these people think Tolkien was some sort of a prophet? Some people really need to increase their daily dose of reality.
*cough* choke*sputter*

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Old 12-31-2006, 08:50 PM   #6
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once I read that Sauron means the Abomination I immediately closed the tab
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Old 01-01-2007, 03:14 AM   #7
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Legate of Amon Lanc is spying on the Black Gate.Legate of Amon Lanc is spying on the Black Gate.Legate of Amon Lanc is spying on the Black Gate.Legate of Amon Lanc is spying on the Black Gate.Legate of Amon Lanc is spying on the Black Gate.Legate of Amon Lanc is spying on the Black Gate.
I didn't even bother to read it from start. Just glimpses of sentences... I think I might start to vomit.

Forgive them, Sauron, because they don't know what they are doing!
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Old 01-01-2007, 07:05 AM   #8
Lalwendë
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Argh! We're all going to die!

At long last, a Da Vinci code-style conspiracy theory involving Tolkien!

I love things like this, especially when they try to tie in something I know about and I can wreck all their theories. But what a surprise, yet another Freemasons = Evil theory, when the masons are mostly just a bunch of men who meet up for drinks. I suppose someone never got invited to join... I read an investigation by The New Statesman about ten years ago which revealed many of these types of theorists are involved with anti-semitic movements, so exercise some caution before ever being taken in!

Otherwise, very amusing indeed!
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Old 01-01-2007, 11:35 AM   #9
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Heh...no, Tolkien didn't prophesy the end of the world, PJ did. Ergo,


Tolkien /= end of the world
PJ = end of the world
Sauron /= Azazel
PJ = catfish
catfish = Azazel
azazel= PJ
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Old 01-01-2007, 12:19 PM   #10
Bęthberry
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Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lalwendë
But what a surprise, yet another Freemasons = Evil theory, when the masons are mostly just a bunch of men who meet up for drinks. I suppose someone never got invited to join... I read an investigation by The New Statesman about ten years ago which revealed many of these types of theorists are involved with anti-semitic movements, so exercise some caution before ever being taken in!

Otherwise, very amusing indeed!
Well, the Masons aren't quite so innocent as a buncha guys just tossing back a few beer. While originally in the 18th they associated themselves heroically with the rising cult of reason/rationality and were declared hostile by organised religion (Catholics were not allowed to join), they had their own quirks about membership. At one point, Blacks could not join and women still are not allowed-- at least weren't about ten years ago.

American money is full of masonic iconographic images and many of the movers and shakers of the American Insurrection were Masons. While it is true that they do fundraising for charitable ventures, and while it does largely sound like Boy Scouts for Guys Who Be Grown Up, because it is a "Secret Society" it naturally raises the question of how they operate in a democracy. (The Shriners are high order Masons and look at their costumes and riding around in little toy bikes.)

There really are secret handshakes, secret aprons and clothes, secret oaths, and "ladders" of status where da guys learn more and more of their arcane rituals. Any guy who spills the beans is shunned--kicked out of the organisation.

Europe is rife with histories of secret societies which just can't resist letting the secrecy slip a little. Silly boys. But they make a hoot of a target.
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Old 01-01-2007, 12:40 PM   #11
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That is very true Bethberry, there was a bit of a fuss a few years age here when it was discovered that many senior police and judges were masons .. of course they do a lot of charity stuf but the secrecey and "other loyalties" were issues...
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Old 01-20-2007, 01:12 PM   #12
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HIM? a fallen ANGEL! Once an ANGEL?!being a christian, that is a scary thought. In a way it sort of makes sense. And no, I am not crazy... I think.
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Old 01-22-2007, 08:07 AM   #13
the guy who be short
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I fail to see the joke. Before insulting these people, please read everything they write from beginning to end. I promise, it does all make sense. I fear for the future of this world...

Just kidding, of course! My favourite part:

Quote:
The "Two Towers" featured prominently in LOTR are an allusion to the two pillars to which Azazel was chained as punishment for corrupting the world before the Flood, and of the two tower hieroglyphs in Narmer's serekh shown symbolically imprisoning the catfish. The destruction (or conquest) of these towers in LOTR was a warning that two towers would be destroyed in the near future by Azazel as part of the last stage of his freeing himself from his prison right before his takeover of the whole world.
Right. Destruction of two towers. Because that happens.

Where's Morgoth anyway?

Great read though. I laughed all the way through.
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Old 01-28-2007, 07:42 PM   #14
Gandalf_the _white
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Well that was *cough* interesting to say the least! Apparently Sauron is a catfish king? Whatever next?!
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Old 01-29-2007, 04:12 PM   #15
Thenamir
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Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
It's SO Obvious!

But...But...donesn't everyone see the direct parallel between the flaming eye atop the Barad Dur and the Eye of Horus atop the great pyramid? How could you miss it!
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