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Old 10-18-2004, 07:45 PM   #1
Boromir88
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1420! A futuristic LOTR.

Well I got to thinking, there are many reproductions of "Romeo and Juliet." One that sticks out is the reproduction of "Romeo and Juliet" placed in the future (the one with Mr. Dicaprio, and Miss Daines). So, what if LOTR was either written in the "future," or they made a movie production. You might want to call it a parody (so I hope this isn't closed, if it's against policy I apologize). Anyway, just come up with lines using items from our time that wouldn't be during the time of LOTR. Here just look at an example lol.

Frodo: Sam we have no more food!
Sam: I beg your pardon Mr. Frodo, but I brought along this cooler, got some frozen pork, steak, beef, turkey, whatever.
Frodo: SAM your a genius! But wait, how are we going to cook it?
Sam: I thought of that too, I brought along this portable George Foreman grill.
Frodo: But Sam, there is no outlet!
Sam: It's battery powered...and before you say anything I brought along extra batteries.
Frodo: Sam your a Genius!
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Old 10-18-2004, 07:50 PM   #2
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Let's see here...

Instead of a horse, Shadowfax would be a seriously awesome sports car.

Aragorn would probably start out as this creepy homeless guy who lives in a garbage can in some dark alley.

That's all I can think of right now.
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Old 10-18-2004, 07:54 PM   #3
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1420!

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Aragorn would probably start out as this creepy homeless guy who lives in a garbage can in some dark alley.
Ahh clever, I never would have thought of that in a million years.
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Old 10-18-2004, 08:53 PM   #4
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Ah yes...my brother and I were musing on this point a mere few...years ago.

The One Ring would be replaced by the One Floppy Disk (I suppose it'd be a CD now though...), and Aragorn would be the heir to a huge software company. Gandalf would be a financial wizard and in the adventure, they would journey into the abandoned Moria, Inc.'s warehouse, where they would be assailed by (gasp!) Red Tape!


But Aragorn being a homeless guy eating out of trash cans...that's brilliant.

Oh, and happy birthday Menel! You and my brother share the same birthdate.
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Old 10-19-2004, 01:50 AM   #5
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Well Legolas could be this hair-dresser guy trying to sell some of his shampoo to Aragorn .
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Old 10-19-2004, 04:16 AM   #6
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1420!

Galadriel and Celeborn can be managers of a gift shop.
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Old 10-19-2004, 06:29 AM   #7
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Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
Well, and Lothlórien is obviously a high-rise apartment complex, very snazzy and extremely expensive, guarded by security personnel!
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Old 10-19-2004, 11:47 AM   #8
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And it would be called Topfloorien, right, Esty?

I would have thought of Aragorn more as a secret agent type in a futuristic LotR instead of a bum. A shady secret agent type to begin with, closer to Jason Bourne than James Bond, and the hobbits wouldn't be altogether sure of who he works for at first.

Legolas and the other Elves would be martial arts masters as well as good shots with the bow, and would wear tight leather and shades, of course.

Hobbits would be a bit lost in a futuristic setting, don't you think? Everything that makes them "hobbity" is rooted in their down to earth, agricultural society and habits. So perhaps, in a futuristic setting, hobbits are the ones who maintain wildlife preserves or farms to ensure that the world doesn't become one big metropolis (like so many futuristic tales seem to depict....) Though, I can see them being into genetic engineering of foods. Giant pumpkins and the like....
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Old 10-19-2004, 04:01 PM   #9
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Maybe hobbits would be the homeless people eating out of trash cans. And also eating the trash cans.

But the Aragorn as a homeless bum is so perfect...perhaps as a plainclothes agent?
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Old 10-19-2004, 04:57 PM   #10
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Quote:
Oh, and happy birthday Menel! You and my brother share the same birthdate.
Thanks, Oddwen. My birthday was mostly ignored at my school, although some of my friends and I did go to a laser tag place the weekend before to celebrate. Had nothing to do with LOTR, though.

Actually, Aragorn might fit better wearing dark glasses and a trenchcoat and acting like he's going to set off a bomb all the time. Or maybe that would fit Boromir more than Aragorn. I don't know.

Aragorn could be a secret agent who's disguised as a homeless guy though.
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Old 10-19-2004, 06:39 PM   #11
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Boromir's a mob boss...no no wait, Denethor's a mob boss. Boromir's the heir to the empire, and Faramir is the son who doesn't want any part of the violence.

Although wait, if Aragorn's the plainclothes agent, the better analogy would be that Saruman/Sauron is a mob boss.

No no no...Denethor's a mob boss, and Saruman is some guy who wants the homeless Hobbits out of the streets so he can build his Orthanc tower.

So Denethor's a mob boss, Saruman is a corrupt billionaire business owner, Hobbits are the oppressed homeless, Aragorn's an agent with a penchant for discarded food.

And Gimli? What of Gimli? He's a lawyer. But a good one. (Oxymoron?)
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Last edited by Oddwen; 10-19-2004 at 06:47 PM. Reason: Hmm hmm hmm...la la la...
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Old 10-20-2004, 08:39 AM   #12
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Eowyn is a punky goth chick with a pierced nose and dyed-black hair. Grima is the nerdy goth-wannabe. So.. he's basically his movie self with huge glasses, braces, a pocket protector, and a clip-on earring.
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Old 10-20-2004, 02:13 PM   #13
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To get more specific on Shadowfax: he'd be Lamborghini Contash ("Contash" is spelled wrong, isn't it?). On a similar vein, Asfaloth is a Delorean DMC-12; not quite as flashy or fast as a Lamborghini, but just as cool.

The Nine are agents for the RIAA, cracking down on the hobbits for illegally burning a copy of the One Disc.

Elrond is a proponent of organic foods and farming.

Tom Bombadil is Johnny Depp (odd, does whatever the futz he wants, lives in a nice little out-of-the-way place with his beautiful singer wife).

Maeggaladiel: Brilliant!
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Old 10-20-2004, 07:36 PM   #14
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1420!

I like the Denethor/Boromir mob family idea, I think that is an excellent idea!

How about this scenario for Anduril...

Elrond: Anduril, flame of the west, forged from the shards of Narsil.
Aragorn: Sauron will not forget the...shotgun that....blew off his head.
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Old 10-20-2004, 09:42 PM   #15
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I think that the 9 are Mobsters.At first they are driving black motorcycles then Gandalf blows up a bridge as they speed over it while chasing Glorfindel (not Arwen) and Frodo.Then later they are driving black cars like the ones in Grand Theft Auto. Wow thats a Weird mental image.
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Old 10-21-2004, 12:29 AM   #16
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And Elrond and Co. could be these guys manufacturing illegal arms and ammo like shotguns and machine guns.

Nice avataar Vuelve - Puss in Boots ,I like that .
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Old 10-21-2004, 12:38 AM   #17
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Long ago, the technology wizard Sauron created an incredibly powerful virus/hacking program, code named One Ring. Using this, he managed to take control over most of the world's computers. However, there was a small group of police officers named The Last Alliance, headed by Mr. Gil Galad and Mr. Elendil. They had to keep updating their antivirus programs to avoid being destroyed by One Ring. Eventually, however, they managed to track down Sauron and arrest him, and freed most of the computers from his rule. Little did they know that Sauron had a back-up copy on a small CD.
It was Mr. Elendil's son Isildur who found this CD by accident. But he did not turn it in, for he was intrigued by this powerful program and wished to study it. But soon, Mr. Galad, Mr. Elendil, and Isildur's computers were all destroyed by a strange chance. They could not afford a new a computer, so they lost their power over the internet. And as he could no longer study it, Isildur put this CD on sale.
Several years later, a boy named Smeagol bought this CD. He installed it on his computer, and the program took control of it. Now, everytime Smeagol sent an email or chat message, it was changed so that it contained malicious words, and was sent out in the name the program devised for him: Gollum.
One day, Smeagol's friend Bilbo came over and took the CD from him. Thus ended their friendship. Bilbo was a plain guy, who had no knowledge of computers whatsoever. He did not even have access to the internet. As the program's main strength came from the internet, it took much longer for it to contaminate Bilbo's computer. So begins the Lord of the Viruses...
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Old 10-21-2004, 04:20 AM   #18
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1420!

ruts, I've always thought of the Elves with their technilogical advances, I mean they obviously created a secret transporter beam to get Haldir to Helm's Deep in a matter of hours .
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Old 10-21-2004, 01:51 PM   #19
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Silmaril

Elves as hippies... I can see them subscribing to the idea of "make love, not war."

I like the idea of Black Riders on motorcycles... Maybe the OCC could make them. And they could all wear full leather trench coats and ski masks. Instead of driving cars after the bridge incident though, they should have hang-gliders or jet-packs. Keep to the flying.

One potential problem I can see though is casting the orc armies. I mean... no matter who you get for it, you'll have some wannabe-do-gooders saying that you're being politically incorrect, and even if you pulled a Star Wars and did something like robots or Storm Troopers, you'd still get nuts trying to make metaphorical connections.

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Old 10-21-2004, 06:03 PM   #20
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Has anyone ever seen "The Fifth Element"? Well, weren't the tools of the bad guy rather orc-ish to you?
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Old 10-28-2004, 06:28 PM   #21
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Gimli would be a bar-room brawler, probably with some kind of military service, and/or criminal record.
Glamdring would be, if still a sword, a katana.

Non-offensive way to include orcs: they are victoms of Sauron's mind control.
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Old 10-29-2004, 10:01 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by rutslegolas
Well Legolas could be this hair-dresser guy trying to sell some of his shampoo to Aragorn .
True, true. but, how about legolas is a cosmetic sales man who works in a superstore , right next to where Aragorn is a homeless guy eating out of a trash can? And, it's the holiday season, Aragorn has a shopping cart full of his small but, useful trinkets. Legolas in the superstore, knows that one trinket, that he desires for his hair is completely sold out at every store in the city. So, from a close friend he hears that Aragorn, the homeless guy out back near the alley way, has one of these such trinkets. Legolas rushes to meet a rather grizzly Aragorn, and exchanges 20 pounds for this trinket. But, is it really worth it?

Oh, wait... Ah! I did it! Great! that's the same plot line from Chucky...I'm so mad at myself right now ... yes, please throw trinkets at me.

Ok, forget that. i've have another one!

Since Boromir in the original plot of the story is contolled and eventually completed by the ring to has itself be stolen by boromir, here's what it will somewhat look like:

Frodo: The owner of the last "Tickle Me" Elmo in a compartment store...

The Ring: Yes, you guessed it! The "Tickle Me" Elmo doll...

Boromir :One of those last minute shoppers you saw on the news in the 90's attacking other mom's in the store...

I'm sorry... that event made my holiday season worth while to watch the news...
I had to use it.
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Old 10-29-2004, 10:01 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rutslegolas
Well Legolas could be this hair-dresser guy trying to sell some of his shampoo to Aragorn .
True, true. but, how about legolas is a cosmetic sales man who works in a superstore , right next to where Aragorn is a homeless guy eating out of a trash can? And, it's the holiday season, Aragorn has a shopping cart full of his small but, useful trinkets. Legolas in the superstore, knows that one trinket, that he desires for his hair is completely sold out at every store in the city. So, from a close friend he hears that Aragorn, the homeless guy out back near the alley way, has one of these such trinkets. Legolas rushes to meet a rather grizzly Aragorn, and exchanges 20 pounds for this trinket. But, is it really worth it?

Oh, wait... Ah! I did it! Great! that's the same plot line from Chucky...I'm so mad at myself right now ... yes, please throw trinkets at me.

Ok, forget that. i have another one!

Since Boromir in the original plot of the story is contolled and eventually completed by the ring to has itself be stolen by boromir, here's what it will somewhat look like:

Frodo: The owner of the last "Tickle Me" Elmo in a compartment store...

The Ring: Yes, you guessed it! The "Tickle Me" Elmo doll...

Boromir :One of those last minute shoppers you saw on the news in the 90's attacking other mom's in the store...

I'm sorry... that event made my holiday season worth while to watch the news...
I had to use it.
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Old 10-29-2004, 10:21 PM   #24
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Eye

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeggaladiel
Eowyn is a punky goth chick with a pierced nose and dyed-black hair. Grima is the nerdy goth-wannabe. So.. he's basically his movie self with huge glasses, braces, a pocket protector, and a clip-on earring.

AH!!! i hate those kids! Nerdy goth -wannabes...You know? The one's who think ICP is really gothic!? They make me soo mad when they ask me if the Robert Smith shirt i'm wearing is Marylin Manson...Marylin Manson is NOT, I repeat, NOT gothic... His is classfied in the Field of rock called "Shock Rock". If you really want to be gothic (This would make you a wanna-be) go listen to some Sisters of Mercy (something upbeat) or The Smiths or Morissey (Something gloomy) and even try some Bauhaus (The one and ONLY) or even some Rasputina (Chamber Goth Rock... it has cellos! ). If you don't like it well, that's your tastes.

And if you want to know more so you don't become a Grima, go to www.GOTH.net click on the hyperlink called "Goth?". If you can see the truth, and or agree you might have some chance.
*Just to let you know, there is such a thing as Punk Gothic... They basically our prototypes for the masses...
-An Informative Ka

SORRY FOR POSTING TWICE! my computer had a brain blur.
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Old 10-30-2004, 05:48 AM   #25
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1420!

The Ka, lol haha, "what's here I have in my pocket?" Also, you could add, Legolas' cosmetic superstore, just add Zebe's idea of Gimli. It just so happens the superstore, and Aragorn's cardboard box are right across from the bar Gimli drinks at .

Originally posted by Zebe
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Gimli would be a bar-room brawler, probably with some kind of military service, and/or criminal record.
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Old 10-30-2004, 02:06 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boromir88
I like the Denethor/Boromir mob family idea, I think that is an excellent idea!

How about this scenario for Anduril...

Elrond: Anduril, flame of the west, forged from the shards of Narsil.
Aragorn: Sauron will not forget the...shotgun that....blew off his head.

Everytime I see that I bust up laughing
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Old 10-30-2004, 10:28 PM   #27
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Sting I'm Such An Idiot!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! NO!

I deleted the wrong post!!! NOOO! Oh well. I'll write it again. Sorry to anyone who quoted or made reference to it... I am truely sorry if i make you look completely lost...

Grr! Please, now could you throw sharp broken trinkets at me!!! i deserve it!
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Old 10-30-2004, 10:33 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Meneltarmacil
Thanks, Oddwen. My birthday was mostly ignored at my school, although some of my friends and I did go to a laser tag place the weekend before to celebrate. Had nothing to do with LOTR, though.

Actually, Aragorn might fit better wearing dark glasses and a trenchcoat and acting like he's going to set off a bomb all the time. Or maybe that would fit Boromir more than Aragorn. I don't know.

Aragorn could be a secret agent who's disguised as a homeless guy though.
Naww. Boromir's too outspoken. he would pull something like, "What is here that i have in my pocket?" in front of everyone whilst entering a bank...

Araogrn would work better. you know, his whole ploy of being "Mysterious".
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Old 11-17-2004, 12:42 PM   #29
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Perhaps Merry and Pippin could be clones. And Darth (oops, I mean Gandalf) could show up and swoop away with the wimpy twin Pippin, and Leia (oops again, I mean Merry) could go off and kick some butt on the Death Star.

I mean Field of Pelennor.
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Old 11-17-2004, 01:56 PM   #30
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I would have thought of Aragorn more as a secret agent type in a futuristic LotR instead of a bum. A shady secret agent type to begin with, closer to Jason Bourne than James Bond, and the hobbits wouldn't be altogether sure of who he works for at first.
Ooo, that one's good. *nod nod* I must draw that... *scurries off, muttering*


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I like the idea of Black Riders on motorcycles... And they could all wear full leather trench coats and ski masks. Instead of driving cars after the bridge incident though, they should have hang-gliders or jet-packs. Keep to the flying.
I was thinking more along the lines of Apache helicopters, actually.


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Elrond: Anduril, flame of the west, forged from the shards of Narsil.
Aragorn: Sauron will not forget the...shotgun that....blew off his head.
*dies laughing* So funny, Boromir88! Must draw that as well...


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To get more specific on Shadowfax: he'd be Lamborghini Contash ("Contash" is spelled wrong, isn't it?). On a similar vein, Asfaloth is a Delorean DMC-12; not quite as flashy or fast as a Lamborghini, but just as cool.
Yay, a Delorean! *hugs* My brother is obsessed with those, and it's starting to rub off on me. o.O;;

So, would Snowmane be a big-a*se SUV that explodes when the Witch-King's chopper hits it? Of course, Theoden is blown clear so he doesn't die immediately. *nod nod* And Firefoot would be a Firebird, of course! *grin* Roheryn would be a Dodge Challenger. And the Mouth of Sauron would have a broken-down Ford that's only held together with rust.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~
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Old 11-18-2004, 06:56 PM   #31
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Ooh, ooh! I wanna play too!

Galadriel would be a fortune teller, Elrond could be a millionaire and Arwen would be his rebel child who falls for a man in disgrace (Aragorn). Luckily his influence is positive and she doesn't turn out like a certain hotel heriess we all know and shake our heads at.
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Old 11-18-2004, 07:04 PM   #32
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And Barliman Butterburr wouldn't be a man (no sex appeal there) so he's be a gorgeous woman, reminiscent of Carrie-Anne Moss in Momento, but not evil. She'd get a big role and be vying for Aragorn's affections.

Boromir didn't die (he had actually faked his death because he was a coward and later overcame that and showed up just in time to save the day). Of course Barliwoman was so angry to see how he ditched them that she put her blade - err, machine gun - to his throat and was just about to shoot when she did a Willow and kissed him in the heat of battle before fighting alongside each other and winning the day.

What a messed up movie that would be!
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Old 08-11-2005, 02:00 PM   #33
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Well here's a few to add in

Gimli would be a burly construction worker of course
Gandalf would be an electrician
Aragorn-I agree homeless person
Legolas would most likely be a male model

and what would bring all these charactor's together?

why fox's new hit reality show

Big Brother: Ring edition
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Old 08-11-2005, 02:28 PM   #34
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Here's my idea:

Sauron is the president of a huge software company called Morsoft or something like that. Morsoft merged with Hollyberry, presidented by Mr. Celebrimbor, and together they created 19 discs. Nine went to Sauron's henchmen, the guys who sat at the conference table with him, three went to some wealthy land developers and real estate moguls, and seven went to whoever the dwarves might be. Sauron, in secret, created the One Disc, which contained more amazing technological power than any others. It used a virus to cripple the computers of the other disc-owners. All of them except for the three. The owners of the three discs (land developers and real estate moguls, if you recall), with the aid of the mob, infiltrated Morsoft . It was in the conference room that Isildur, son of the mob-boss Elendil, used the shotgun Narsil and blew off Sauron's hand and gained the one disc for himself. Elrond, the assisstant of one of the real estate moguls (now killed), told Isildur (now mob-boss after his dad was killed) to destroy the disc by wiping its memory in Morsoft's supercomputer. Isildur refused, tempted by the disc's power. Unfortunately, as Isildur was wandering home, he was killed by hitmen hired by Sauron. The disc was not discovered, as it was dropped down a storm drain and remained there for years.

That's all I've imagined now. I might write some more later.
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Old 08-11-2005, 02:33 PM   #35
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I was also thinking along the lines of reality tv.

Why, it could be like "Amish in the City" meets "The Trip". The Hobbits being the totally clueless Amish of course and Legolas a shallow teen who goes "Oh My God" when he finds out Frodo doesn't know about fashionable jewelry - the One Ring being of course só last season. Aragorn would be the mysterious brooding gothic poet type. Gandalf is the only one who actually finished high school.

They would be rapping instead of singing nice Elven poetry and Shadowfax would be an extremely hot-stuff surfboard. This could so work. Totally.
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Old 08-11-2005, 02:37 PM   #36
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With the little story I typed above, I think Smeagol and Deagol could be septic workers cleaning the sewers or something. They could spy the One Disc and fight over it, and Deagol gets pushed into the water and is never seen again. But then who is Bilbo?
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Old 08-11-2005, 02:39 PM   #37
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Bilbo is the Officer checking out "The scene of the crime" and confiscates the disc as evidence bu then doesn't turn it in
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Old 08-11-2005, 02:56 PM   #38
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Ring More!

I'm continuing my little story:

The One Disc was lost in a storm drain, and now lay in a sewer. There it lingered for a long time until one day, two septic workers came walking along the sewer's edge (I'm no sewer expert, but isn't there a walkway along the side or something?) and spied the One Disc lying before their feet. These septic workers were brothers named Smeagol and Deagol. Deagol saw it first and picked it up, and both knew that it must be amazingly powerful (the label said so)

"Deagol, it's my birthday today," said Smeagol, "won't you give that to me as a gift?"

"I already gave you some perfectly good socks," said Deagol, "You've always wanted everything I have." He muttered something about greedy siblings.

Smeagol shoved him. "Please, it's my birthday."

Deagol shoved back. "No!"

Smeagol pushed him into the sewer and grabbed the disc. "Noooooo!" screamed Deagol as the sewer swept him down into the depths of who-knows-where.

Now, when their boss didn't see Deagol show up that evening he called the police, and Detective Baggins showed up with thirteen police officers. It was when Detective Baggins interrogated Smeagol that he confiscated the One Disc as evidence, and, because of the One Disc's mysterious allure, he kept it and never gave it up to the crime lab.

More later!
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Old 08-11-2005, 03:20 PM   #39
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White Tree On Gondor

Post #11 has given me the idea that Gondor is the mob. Gondor's kings are the mob bosses, and when Earnur, the last king (mob boss) of Gondor, is lost, the stewards (top henchmen?) take over. Aragorn is the last living relative of the old mob bosses. Arwen is the daughter of a real estate mogul.

Last edited by Alcarillo; 08-11-2005 at 05:20 PM. Reason: Typos
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Old 08-11-2005, 08:27 PM   #40
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So the Shire is the subburbs and Gondor is a big city? Maybe Mordor is the wrong side of the tracks and Frodo and company ride skateboards to Mordor street. Yes! That's it! The cast are teenagers in a big city!
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