The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum


Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page

Go Back   The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum > Middle-Earth Fun and Games > Middle-earth Mirth
User Name
Password
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-02-2002, 09:09 PM   #1
Maltaharma
Pile O'Bones
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 20
Maltaharma has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to Maltaharma
Tolkien 101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say

One rule:Keep it clean people. Be funny, not crude.
  • Something Gollum would not say, "Screw this whole ring obsession! I'm going into show business!"
  • At Gollum's therapy session. Therapist: "How did this all begin?" Gollum: "Well, I can't pinpoint the exact time I went bad, but I think it had to do with the fact that I lost my glasses and Star Trek went into reruns."
  • Aragorn: "Become King? Are you crazy? This place needs a democracy...and a paint job."
  • Saruman: "I'm so lonely. Maybe I should get a poodle."

[ March 02, 2002: Message edited by: Maltaharma ]
__________________
Maltaharma
Maltaharma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2002, 09:44 PM   #2
Tigerlily Gamgee
Hostess of Spirits
 
Tigerlily Gamgee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Meduseld
Posts: 1,056
Tigerlily Gamgee has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to Tigerlily Gamgee
Silmaril

Gandalf - "Does anyone have any questions about my daily affairs? I am open & ready to discuss them with you."
Frodo - "It rocks my world that the ring came to me!"
Samwise - "Mr.Frodo! You're naked," as he points and laughs at Frodo in the prison.
Samwise - "Screw this whole mission, you're on your own Mr.Frodo"
Legolas - "I've just been pretending to like you Gimli."

OK, well, it's late & that's all I could come up with [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
Tigerlily Gamgee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2002, 10:04 PM   #3
Sharkû
Hungry Ghoul
 
Sharkû's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,721
Sharkû has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

A noble Elven lady would never say something as cheesy as 'If you want him, come and claim him!' to nine Nazgûl.
Sharkû is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2002, 10:26 PM   #4
Pips
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Brandyhall, Texas
Posts: 67
Pips has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Gandalf: "You know, what, forget everything I said Frodo, the ring's not that bad after all."
Frodo: "What the hell am I doing this for again!?"
Merry: "Damn, I'm depressed!"
Pips is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2002, 10:33 PM   #5
Pips
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Brandyhall, Texas
Posts: 67
Pips has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Galadriel: "Frodo, I've never told you this before, but you got a great butt!"
Pips is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2002, 11:51 PM   #6
pilboy
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Tolkien

Sauron: does my butt look big in this
Gimli: (to legolas) dumb blond!
Sam: oh! not another pub!
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2002, 11:59 PM   #7
Gorin Icearms
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 67
Gorin Icearms has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Saruman: 'Hey Gandalf, wanna hear my plan for world domination?'


Saruman: 'Come Wormtongue, we must return to Orthanc and prepare for tomorrow night.'

Wormtongue: 'Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?"

Saruman: 'The same thing we do every night, try to take over the world!!!'
__________________
The Moon is Rising!

Oh hey, I'm a wight now. WORSHIP ME IN ALL MY WIGHTNESS!!! MUAHAHAHA!!
Gorin Icearms is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 12:00 AM   #8
Joy
Spirit of a Warrior
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wandering
Posts: 1,020
Joy has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Saurman: Gandalf, ol' friend. You know, I've been thinking, Sauron has realy turned evil and I'd like to help you defeat him.


Frodo: This adventure thing isn't what it's cracked up to be. I quit!
__________________
God bless,
Joy KingdomWarrior@hotmail.com
http://kingdomWarrior.jlym.com

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
Joy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 12:14 AM   #9
Lush
Fair and Cold
 
Lush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the big onion
Posts: 1,803
Lush is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
Send a message via ICQ to Lush Send a message via AIM to Lush Send a message via Yahoo to Lush
Boots

Sharku, I'm curious, what would a noble Elven lady say to the nine Nazgul? "Welcome to Rivendell, may I take your coat"? [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

As for me, I could never imagine...
Shelob: "Thanks, Gollum, but I'm on a diet."
Denethor: "What a lovely day it is today! Gee, I love my wonderful son Faramir! Isn't life great? Ah, smell the beautiful flowers! Everything is going to be just fine!"
Legolas: "Ai! A Balrog! Long time no see, my man!"
Treebeard: "Entwives schmentwives. Marriage is a ridiculously outdated institution."
Sam: "Mr. Frodo, you're a pathetic, whiny weakling, and a product of an idiotic class-system that I simply do not believe in!"
__________________
~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~
Lush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 12:42 AM   #10
Bruce MacCulloch
Dead Man of Dunharrow
 
Bruce MacCulloch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 652
Bruce MacCulloch has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via Yahoo to Bruce MacCulloch
Ring

Quote:
Sharku, I'm curious, what would a noble Elven lady say to the nine Nazgul?
Tolkien's noble elven ladies wouldn't have been mucking around on horses being chased by Nazgûl in the first place, especially not Arwen!
__________________
`A blunderbuss, was it?' said he, scratching his head. `I thought it was horseflies!'
Bruce MacCulloch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 01:59 AM   #11
Gorin Icearms
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 67
Gorin Icearms has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Very true Bruce [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img].
__________________
The Moon is Rising!

Oh hey, I'm a wight now. WORSHIP ME IN ALL MY WIGHTNESS!!! MUAHAHAHA!!
Gorin Icearms is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 02:29 AM   #12
Kalimac
Candle of the Marshes
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 780
Kalimac has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Pippin: "Actually, on second thought, maybe I shouldn't do this."

Sam: "There's no way we'll ever get out of this, Mr. Frodo. Give up, we're doomed."

Gandalf: "Well done, Pippin!"

Eowyn: "Little account do you take of my injured self-esteem, Aragorn son of Arathorn. By my reckoning you art in great need of therapy."

Denethor: "Whatever."

Aragorn: "Huzzah!"

Saruman (gazing into the Palantir): "Make that a thick crust with pepperoni and green peppers, and oh, throw a bottle of Coke in with that order, will you? Thirty minutes? Thanks."
__________________
Father, dear Father, if you see fit, We'll send my love to college for one year yet
Tie blue ribbons all about his head, To let the ladies know that he's married.
Kalimac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 11:18 AM   #13
Lush
Fair and Cold
 
Lush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the big onion
Posts: 1,803
Lush is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
Send a message via ICQ to Lush Send a message via AIM to Lush Send a message via Yahoo to Lush
Boots

Quote:
Tolkien's noble elven ladies wouldn't have been mucking around on horses being chased by Nazgûl in the first place, especially not Arwen!
Ah yes, sitting at home and cooking lembas is a much nobler way to spend one's life, how could I forget? I think in the book itself, it is quite obvious why Arwen doesn't ride around on her own little adventures: her own mother had been ensnared by the Orcs! In the movie, however, certain aspects of the past are left up to interpretation, so I don't mind the changes in the least.
And by the way, what about Eowyn? Come to think of it, there is one thing I could never imagine her saying: "Darkness is coming! Let's run and hide!" [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
And, while I'm on the subject of impossibilities...
Gollum: "Well, Precious, since you obviously don't return my affections, I think it's time for me to move on."
Aragorn: "Uh, Arwen? I know what I promised, but I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, and I think blondes are more to my liking. Plus, when's the last time you slew a Witchking? But hey, if you're still itching to give up your immortality, I hear Faramir's available!"
Gimli: "Yeah, Galadriel's not that heinous for an Elf."
Frodo: "A giant spider! Just one more for Exotic Insect Bingo!"

[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: Lush ]
__________________
~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~
Lush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 11:27 AM   #14
Elven-Maiden
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
Elven-Maiden's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 307
Elven-Maiden has just left Hobbiton.
Silmaril

Gollum: Sam, I hate fish, gimme one of your taters!

Aragorn: Ah, forget Arwen, Eowyn, I am all yours!

Sauron: Fine, keep the Ring!

Saruman: Gandalf, chill! You go your way, I'll go mine.

Balrog: (Blocking the bridge) That'll 5 dollars, please.

Pipin: Ooh! Pretty skeleton! Must toss into well....

Legolas: Oh, a mirror!! Can I keep it, Auntie Galadriel, please!!! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
__________________
Tout ce qui est or ne brille pas,
Tous ceux qui errent ne sont pas perdus.

Mobilis in Mobile
Elven-Maiden is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 11:38 AM   #15
Fenrir
Wight
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Nevrast
Posts: 103
Fenrir has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Faramir - I think Sauron and Ar-Pharazon had the right idea. If there was a bit less heroism and a lot more human sacrifice then Gondor would not be besieged by the armies of Morgul.

Saruman - My life has really improved since I joined Greenpeace.

Sauron - I plan to over-win the minds of the peoples of Middle-Earth by imitationing my infidel George Bush.

[ March 04, 2002: Message edited by: Fenrir ]
__________________
Fearlessness is better than a faint-heart for any man who puts his nose out of doors. The length of my life and the day of my death were fated long ago.
Fenrir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 12:17 PM   #16
Gollumm
Pile O'Bones
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 11
Gollumm has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Sauron: My ISP just hung me up!! How am I suppose to contact my Nazguls in real time now?!
Gollumm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 02:54 PM   #17
Elanor
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
Elanor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: my own corner of the Shire
Posts: 321
Elanor has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Gandalf: You know what, Saruman, I'm getting fed up of those silly hobbits and their little songs. Maybe I'll stay here with you after all.
__________________
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman (1906 - )
Elanor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 03:45 PM   #18
Aralaithiel
Ghost Eldaran Queen
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A remote mountain in Valinor
Posts: 353
Aralaithiel has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Lush, you'll love my fan fiction character! (Now if they would just get the rest of my story up on this site!) The rest of you might be offended at what this noble elven lady does! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Arwen to the Nazgul: That's right folks! For the incredible low, low price of just $19.95, you can have this wonderful little hobbit! And, if you call within the next 5 minutes, we'll throw in this ring of world domination AT NO CHARGE!"

Boromir: Why would I want that tacky interstate gift shop fake gold ring anyways? It turns my fingers green!

Balrog: $2.50 please! And thank you for travelling the Khazad Dhum Turnpike today!

Legolas: Your mirror is wrong, Galadriel! Where'd this cursed zit come from!!! ARGH!!!

Elrond: I know, let's just give this ring to Pippin & Merry! What harm could they do?

Oh this is fun!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: Aralaithiel ]
__________________
A lelyat, wen! (Quenya Elvish for "You go, girl!"
Aralaithiel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 03:53 PM   #19
Birdland
Ghastly Neekerbreeker
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the banks of the mighty Scioto
Posts: 1,757
Birdland has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Bilbo: Frodo, my lad, it's time you moved out and got a job.

Treebeard: SorE L8. E-M%t wNt frvr. mEt frNs l8r OK? CU.

Legolas: I'm cold! I'm hungry! My feet hurt!

Boromir: I don't think I can do this...

Gimli: I don't want to be rich, just comfortable.

Sam: Do it yourself!

Frodo: If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
Birdland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 04:17 PM   #20
avarerniliel
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: In front of the moniter...
Posts: 58
avarerniliel has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to avarerniliel
The Eye

Gollum: Give me chips right now and keep nassty fish!

Eowyn: Forget it Aragorn, we could just never work together!

Pippin: Hey! I didn't get in trouble today!

Pippin: Wait, you were all using me as scapegoats and I really didn't screw up at all?!

Sam: Sorry Frodo, you're on your own.

Frodo: Well, on the down side I lost a finger, but on the up side... I....um...
avarerniliel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 04:22 PM   #21
avarerniliel
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: In front of the moniter...
Posts: 58
avarerniliel has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to avarerniliel
Sting

Glaurung: I'm sorry, could you come back in a little bit? My fire doesn't seem to be working at the moment.

Smaug: And under the hollow of my left breast you may notice the empty patch (poses like a model on beach).

Things LOTR characters would never sing:
The Fellowship gathered around a fire: Kumbiyah

Orcs and Saruman: The can-can
avarerniliel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 04:33 PM   #22
Sharkû
Hungry Ghoul
 
Sharkû's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,721
Sharkû has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Durin's Bane: "Wait, why don't I just fly up and let that wizard plummet to the ground?"

Húrin: "Phew, I'm glad the sun's coming up, then these trolls will turn to stone."

Balin: "Cannot get out. The only bridge of Khazad-Dûm is in the hand of the enemy."

Gil-Galad: "Back off Sauron, I am the son of Fingon!"

Tom Bombadil: "I'm sorry Yavanna, but I just don't care about trees." -- Goldberry: "That's too bad, Aule, my dear."

Shagrat: "I think I'll sell my fëa to that Annatar dude, he seems mighty nice."

Glaurung: "Oh no, don't hurt me, mighty Lord Gothmog!"

Glorfindel: "Reincar-what? So my name's that of a war hero, big deal."

Círdan: "Yup, I decided to marry the woman I love."

Galadriel: "I don't need that Elven Ring as long as I have you, my husband."

TDW: "You're right, your arguments are better than mine, I admit it." [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: Sharku ]
Sharkû is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 05:44 PM   #23
Glenethor
Wight
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow
Posts: 176
Glenethor has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

"nobody tosses a Dwarf!"
"Let's hunt some Orc!"

These two should never have been said, but were.

"I think I'll give up beer and go on a diet" Fatty Bolger...any Hobbit for that matter.
"Does this dress make my bum look fat?" Arwen
"Lobelia! Lobelia! Wherefore art thou, Lobelia?"
"Doh!" Pippin.

Suppertime! (no, that's me!)


[img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: Glenethor ]
__________________
"Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too.
Imagine all the people, living life in peace..."

Dr. Winston O'Boogie
Glenethor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 07:01 PM   #24
Lush
Fair and Cold
 
Lush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the big onion
Posts: 1,803
Lush is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
Send a message via ICQ to Lush Send a message via AIM to Lush Send a message via Yahoo to Lush
Boots

Legolas: I'm TIRED. Waah.
Gandalf: *to Balrog* Hey man, can I have a light? *inhales* Ah, yes, much better. Where were we?
Haldir: Lorien welcomes you with open arms, Master Gimli!
Denethor: Gandalf, I am SO glad to see you!
Denethor: Faramir, I am SO glad to see you!
Eowyn: Hey Witchking, I am not only a woman, but a liberated shieldmaiden. Can I have your number?
Radagast: No worries Gandalf, for here I come to save the day!

[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: Lush ]
__________________
~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~
Lush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 09:49 PM   #25
avarerniliel
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: In front of the moniter...
Posts: 58
avarerniliel has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to avarerniliel
The Eye

King of Rohan: "Shadowfax? Shadowfax who? Oh, that horse, I never really liked him, you can keep him."

Merry: "Pippin! We've been seperated! We've never been apart! On all our adventures we're always together! What will I do?!"

Pippin: "Merry, calm down. Here, have a light."

Saruman: Sauron. You suck. I quit.

Treebeard: Yes! I've won the 100 meter dash!
avarerniliel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2002, 10:06 PM   #26
Lush
Fair and Cold
 
Lush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the big onion
Posts: 1,803
Lush is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
Send a message via ICQ to Lush Send a message via AIM to Lush Send a message via Yahoo to Lush
Boots

Quote:
Treebeard: Yes! I've won the 100 meter dash!
Good one!

Old Man Willow: "Hobbits. Yuck."
Tom Bombadil: "Let's not get off on a tangent here."
Goldberry: *to Tom* "I have better things to do than make dinner. Call Dominos and get off my back."
Sam: "Frodo, here's a map of Mordor. Have fun and take lots of pictures. Bye!"
Aragorn: "Seizing the throne of Men in an honorable way? More like the needlessly hard way! Thanks, but no thanks. Frodo, give me that Ring."
__________________
~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~
Lush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 12:02 AM   #27
Rosa Underhill
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Waymeet, the Shire
Posts: 297
Rosa Underhill has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to Rosa Underhill
Sting

*looks at aralaithiel's sig and falls off chair laughing* That is awesome! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Smeagol: Yeah, thanks and all Deagol, but y'know...rings really aren't my thing...

Lobelia: *to Frodo* Such a nice boy!

Bilbo: *to dwarves* GET OUT!!!

Gandalf: Hmmm... I dunno, white's not really my color.

Smaug: I've decided to donate all of my vast horde to the "Rebuild Laketown Fund"! *cheesy grin*

Frodo: *to Council of Elrond* Eh, y'know, now that I think about it, I kinda...really don't want to go on this quest. Could you find someone else to do it?

Elrond: *right before the Fellowship leaves Rivendell* Good-bye, Mr. Baggins...
__________________
WWAHD? (What would a Hobbit do?)
Rosa Underhill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 12:23 AM   #28
Elvenglass
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 55
Elvenglass has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via ICQ to Elvenglass
Silmaril

Gandalf: Hmm on second thought, Aragorn,you try and defeat the Balrog. The rest of us will run!

Frodo: Hey, it's Bilbo's old ring! *drops ring down the sink* Oh well, I'm sure no one will notice, anyways how important can one ring be??
__________________
Cormamin lindua ele lle
Elen sila lumenn omentielvo
Elvenglass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 12:51 AM   #29
Kalimac
Candle of the Marshes
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 780
Kalimac has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Orcs (in Mordor): "Everybody scream, everybody scream, in our town of Halloween!"

Ted Sandyman: "Wow, Sam, what happened next?"

The Gaffer: "So enough about Bagshot Row being dug up. What have you been doing with yourselves all this time?"

OK, it's the best I can manage at this time of night.
__________________
Father, dear Father, if you see fit, We'll send my love to college for one year yet
Tie blue ribbons all about his head, To let the ladies know that he's married.
Kalimac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 01:56 PM   #30
Maltaharma
Pile O'Bones
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 20
Maltaharma has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to Maltaharma
Tolkien

Legolas: Oh my gawd, Gimli, look at her butt. It is soooooo big...

Aragorn: Do you understand the words comin' out of my mouth?!
Boromir: Man, nobody understands the word comin' out of your mouth!

Gandalf: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth.

Elrond: (pay attention Matrix fans) We must take the ring to Mount Doom...Missster Anderson...

Aragorn: I am the cheese.

Balrog: Gandalf, would you care for a crumpet?
Quote:
"The Balrog and I fall into darkness. I wanted to shout 'To be continued!' but instead I said, 'Fly, you fools!'"-The Lost Diary of Gandalf
__________________
Maltaharma
Maltaharma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 01:58 PM   #31
Maltaharma
Pile O'Bones
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 20
Maltaharma has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to Maltaharma
Tolkien

Legolas: Oh my gawd, Gimli, look at her butt. It is soooooo big...

Aragorn: Do you understand the words comin' out of my mouth?!
Boromir: Man, nobody understands the word comin' out of your mouth!

Gandalf: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth.

Elrond: (pay attention Matrix fans) We must take the ring to Mount Doom...Missster Anderson...

Aragorn: I am the cheese.

Balrog: Gandalf, would you care for a crumpet?
Quote:
"The Balrog and I fall into darkness. I wanted to shout 'To be continued!' but instead I said, 'Fly, you fools!'"-The Lost Diary of Gandalf
__________________
Maltaharma
Maltaharma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 05:17 PM   #32
Lush
Fair and Cold
 
Lush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the big onion
Posts: 1,803
Lush is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
Send a message via ICQ to Lush Send a message via AIM to Lush Send a message via Yahoo to Lush
Boots

This is the GREATEST thread. I am laughing so hard, my jaw feels like it's about to fall off.

Arwen: "Aragorn, I'm afraid that while you were away saving the world, Glorfindel and I realized that we have so much in common and, well...You didn't think you and I would make it as a couple through the end of this Age? Oh you did? That's sweet."

Eowyn: "You mean that geek is the heir to the throne of Men?"

Faramir: "Thanks, Aragorn. You've been great. Bye now! Have fun trekking with the Dunedain!"

Isildur: "Big gold rings are passe."

Gollum: "Hey Frodo, could you move over? You're blocking the sun."

*Lush gathers her jaw and stumbles off*
__________________
~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~
Lush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 05:44 PM   #33
littlemanpoet
Itinerant Songster
 
littlemanpoet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,072
littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Pipe

Pippin: Baths! I hate baths!

Sam: Ah, it's just a box of dirt. What good could it do? (dumps it in the Bywater)

Ferny to Sam: Ha ha ya missed me!

Aragorn to Bilbo: Your poetry sucks.

Bombadil: Didn't I tell you to stay away from the barrows?! Serves ya right!

Galadriel: Ewwwww! A dwarf!
littlemanpoet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 08:08 PM   #34
ElanorGamgee
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
ElanorGamgee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 314
ElanorGamgee has just left Hobbiton.
The Gaffer (to Sam): "Good job, my boy!"

Gollum: "Would you care for some tea, gentlemen? Milk or sugar?"

Legolas: "My feet hurt."

Sam: "Workers everywhere, UNITE!"

Pippin: "Beer? No, water for me."

Treebeard: "Would you just hurry up and get to the point?"

Merry: "Boy, am I depressed."

Tom Bombadil: "How long have I lived here? Oh, a couple years..."

Gandalf: "I'm tired. Why don't you take over for a while, Pippin?"

Éowyn (singing): "I, I will survive..."

Sandyman: "Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?"

Boromir: "What ring?"
__________________
Soli Deo Gloria
ElanorGamgee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 08:53 PM   #35
Greycloak
Animated Skeleton
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 29
Greycloak has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Gandalf, Aragorn and Legolas (in harmony) "Short people got no reason to live..." [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
Greycloak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 09:12 PM   #36
Tigerlily Gamgee
Hostess of Spirits
 
Tigerlily Gamgee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Meduseld
Posts: 1,056
Tigerlily Gamgee has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via AIM to Tigerlily Gamgee
Silmaril

Legolas - "I don't want to be immortal anymore."
Legolas - "The sea is scary, I don't like the sea."
Aragorn (in song) - "I am the very model of a modern major general!"
Denethor - "anybody wany s'mores?"
Eowyn - "I am woman, hear me roar!"
Frodo - "I will take the ring, NOT"
Merry & Pippin - "I could sure go for some of that Orc water about now."
Galadriel - "Give me the ring, on second thought, I do want to rule the Earth."
Galadriel - "I don't have a gift for you, Gimli, don't you feel stupid right about now!"
Gollum - "Why do I think the ring is sooo precious?"
Tigerlily Gamgee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 09:50 PM   #37
Marileangorifurnimaluim
Eerie Forest Spectre
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Buried in scrolls of fanfiction
Posts: 798
Marileangorifurnimaluim has just left Hobbiton.
The Nine Mortal kings: "Sauron, yes, yes, magic rings.. we've sent the contract over for our lawyers to review. We'll get back to you on that."

Nazgul in Shire: "Well, now isn't this a cozy little place!"

Elrond: "So we should send the ring with a halfling with no weapons training, no clue where he's going, who got lost twice on the way here.. heeheeehaaaha.. I can barely say this with a straight face-!"

[ March 04, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]
__________________
Deserves death! I daresay he does... And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them?
Marileangorifurnimaluim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 10:05 PM   #38
Lush
Fair and Cold
 
Lush's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the big onion
Posts: 1,803
Lush is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
Send a message via ICQ to Lush Send a message via AIM to Lush Send a message via Yahoo to Lush
Boots

Denethor: *sitting by the fire* "Kumbaya my Lord! Kumbaya!"

Maril-jaw is really coming off now!
__________________
~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~
Lush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 10:31 PM   #39
Mereth'iel
Pile O'Bones
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Misted Mississippi
Posts: 23
Mereth'iel has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

I saw a similar question on another board. Here's what I posted (with some modifications):

Saruman to Gandalf: I have a deal you can't refuse!

Gandalf (to Saruman): What an opportunity!Count me in, dude!

Boromir: Lousy Horn! I wanted guitar lessons anyway!

Aragorn to Arwen: Iay referpay iglatinpay otay 'lvisheay...oday ouya indmay? Ownay, ivegay emay omesay ugarsay!

Legolas: They sing a lament for Gandalf...no, wait! Um, sorry, that's 99 Beers on the Wall!

Frodo: I'm not like you, Bilbo (aside to camera w/wink) I'm ever so much cuter!

Frodo: Ole McBilbo had a ring!
EE-EYE-EE-EYE-OH
And on this ring there was a spell
EE-EYE-EE-EYE-OH
With a big eye here
A big eye there
Here an eye!
There an eye!
Everywhere an eye! eye!
Ole McBilbo had a ring...
Mereth'iel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-04-2002, 10:40 PM   #40
Daegwenn
Haunting Spirit
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlórien
Posts: 82
Daegwenn has just left Hobbiton.
Silmaril

Sauron: May I have my ring back now...pleeeeeeze!

Legolas: Would my hair look better if I got a perm?

Aragorn: Hmm...does anyone have a mirror and a razor, this beard is killing me.

Bilbo: Poetry? Poetry is for pansies.

Elrond: I don't know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Gollum: I think I should work on my tan for a bit, you guys can go ahead with the ring and I'll met you later.

Glorfindel after being tossed off the mountain by the Balrog: Hey! That was fun! Can I do that again?

Gandalf: But I like blue better...why can't I have blue? I want to have a nice sky blue, i think it sets off my eyes.

Isildur to Sauron: Hey, you look good in black-and that complexion! My god, how do you look so young?
Sauron to Isildur: Cucumbers, Miracle Whip and Eggs--it works wonders for the wrinkles.

Galadriel: You expect me to give you a kiss, Dwarf? You smell like horse dung and look like the wrong side of an orc. No wonder your kind lives in dark caves, I would too if I looked like you.

Celeborn: Galadriel, You've got saggy boobs. Have you ever thought of getting plastic surgery?

Luthlien: Wolves aren't that bad...they're like big puppy dogs. All they need is a little love and affection.

Elrond: I'm illiterate.

Nazgul: Black isn't my colour...and these horses! Ugh! They are so Cliche! Like, why not get a nice Jaguar or Beamer?

I have more...but I think I have rambled on too much..
~~Daegwenn
__________________
"And still of a winter’s night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding—
Riding—Riding—
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.

Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard.
And he taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred.
He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord’s black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord’s daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair"
Highwayman
Alfred Noyes
Daegwenn is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:00 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.