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Old 03-16-2004, 02:56 PM   #1
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Thumbs up Lord of the Green

Yes, Spring has Sprung. And we all know what that means!

SAM: Gardening!
FRODO: Singing Birds!
LEGOLAS: Hitting Gimli!
GIMLI: Hitting Legolas!

Um, no. Spring means GOLF!
Yes, GOLF! And since Mr. Tolkien so kindly informs us in THE HOBBIT about the Middle Earthian roots of the ancient game of Golf, it makes perfect sense to create a golf game for our hobbity friends.

MERRY: It does?

Yes. Now shut up.

Anyway, on the Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers video game, (Yes, I'm a video-game playing girl who is playing TTT and ROTK on Playstation during Finals Week. So sue me.) when Frodo departs from the Fellowship in Amon Hen, Aragorn sounds like he says "I would have gone with you into the very fires of Mordor. GOLFING!" (I know, he really says "...fires of Mordor. Run Frodo!", but that's what it sounds like. Listen to it, if you have the means, you'll see that it's true!) That got me to thinking: What would a middle earthian mini-golf game be like?

You could have up to nine people in a game of ME MiniGolf, one for each Fellowshipper.

Hole 18 would be Mount Doom, of course. You'd have to get your ball into the hole in the top, dodging Gollum's jaws and Sauron's eye.

One hole would have to include getting your ball over a miniature Bridge of Kazad-Dum. The colorful golf balls have to get under the flaming Balrog without spending half of an hour wondering whether it has wings. (The gray ball has to fall off the bridge and it can skip ahead to the Fangorn hole. It'll come back as a white ball!)

What other holes would there be in a Middle Earth mini golf? How do you think the Fellowshippers would play the game? (I think Galadriel would cheat and use her mind to move the ball into the hole!)

Okay, it's stupid. SO sue me. But it's finals week here at school and my brain is nearly dead.

Come join in the BrainDead fun!!!

Real women fight Witch Kings!
"Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.
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Old 03-16-2004, 08:08 PM   #2
Elennar Starfire
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And there could be several black balls that try to "catch" the coloured balls. (they would be the Nazgul, of course)
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Old 03-16-2004, 08:21 PM   #3
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Another hole would depict Glorfindel (or in the movie Arwen) taking Frodo to Rivendel. A golfer would have to hit the ball on to a "horse" (really a rolling box that holds the ball) and it would carry the ball across a minature stream while the black balls would chase it.

When Gandalf or Saruman were playing, they would use their staffs instead of clubs to move the ball. Then they would get competitive and try to move the other person's ball off course.
"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar?
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Old 03-17-2004, 12:02 AM   #4
Nilpaurion Felagund
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Narya Balls. Lots of balls.

And the Pelennor Fields section would involve half a million balls in a multitude of colours...of course only two of the balls are yours - the white one and the small one - but you'll have to drive away all the other balls into the river before continuing. Maybe another small ball will come from behind the Minas Tirith hole, and a dirty ball, a green ball, and a hairy ball will come from the river hole to help.

OK, how many balls was that?
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Old 03-17-2004, 08:48 AM   #5
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Any caddies about?
'He wouldn't make above a mouthful,' said William, who had already had a fine supper, 'not when he was skinned and boned.'
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:30 PM   #6
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Whoa, this is getting really complicated. How about this idea based off of "Mario Golf":

1. There are only the Nine members of the Fellowship to choose from at the start.

2. You can unlock five secret characters after completing certain requirements. Saruman, Faramir, the Witchking of Angmar, Tom Bombadil, and Glorfindel (or Denethor; fireball, yeah!)

3. There would be three different courses to choose from: Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and Return of the King.

4. Each course will have the usual eighteen holes, plus a secret hole. This may correspond with the secret characters. (eg. Beating the "Barrow-Wight" hole unlocks Tom Bombadil, but you can only use him in regular play if you beat the FotR course as well.)

5. The characters will be able to change clubs; which can be represented as their weapons. (eg. Saruman and Gandalf can use their staffs as driving clubs; Gimli can use his axe as a chipping club or a putter.)

6. All three courses must be beaten in order to unlock an ultimate character for good or evil depending on which character you use to beat the game with. (eg. Beat the game with the Witchking and you unlock Sauron; beat it with Gandalf and you unlock one of the Valar.) This character will be nearly impossible to beat unless its equally powerful counterpart is used against it.

Well, that's the basic groundwork; I realize that I strayed from the mini-golf idea, but I thought I'd give this a shot.:P
"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:28 PM   #7
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Or the evil minigolf...

One hole requires you to break down a small wall to get to a glittering hole. Maybe you could unlock Saruman there?
To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill. ~Sun Tzu
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Old 03-18-2004, 01:28 PM   #8
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That sounds good; we should send this idea to Nintendo or something. Maybe Microsoft?
"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue
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Old 03-18-2004, 09:55 PM   #9
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But you must include...

And of course any good LOTR mini-golf course must have a Mount Doom hole! The player starts about 15 feet away, and they have to manuver through a whole bunch of Mordor looking rocks (And you could have a model of Barad-dur with an eye! It would be a nice touch), and then the ball has to go into a small hole at the bottom of the mountain. And once it goes in, the mountain explodes with a whole bunch of confetti
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Old 03-19-2004, 09:02 PM   #10
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There should be a Shire hole. Maybe Bag End could be the hole! There could be little statues of Hobbits (if it was real mini-golf).

I agree, we should send this to Nintendo - I would buy it! Do we get a discount?
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