I smell cheeze.

[Boromir88]

Simple topic here, what are your cheeziest lines from any of the LOTR films?

Mine would have to be in ROTK, with Gandalf and Aragorn sitting around in Meduseld.
Aragorn: What does your heart tell you?
Or...

in TTT EE
Legolas: 42...he was still twitching.

That I don't know why PJ decided to give them each an extra kill and just that whole I tied you crap. Anyway...I do like Gimli's line that follows, that I got a laugh out of
He was twitching because he's got MY axe IMBEDDED INTO HIS NERVOUS SYSTEM!

[THE Ka]

I could go on about the stupid lines from the movies... But, i'll reserve this to the fortunate few who are in a class of their own...



1. "The horses are restless, the men are quiet." - Legolas (yet another update from Captain Obvious) ROTK

2. "I do not doubt his heart, only the reach of his arm. " - Eomer

...And more to come later... once i rack my brain out...

I hate the lines some characters have in the movie... completely ruins them. Like poor Gimli, i swear in the book he is ten times more serious. Not an elves' puppet, but a good friend to one.

~Weird as ever could be Ka~

[Firefoot]

"A diversion!" Ack. Wrecks the scene.

I know there are more but I haven't seen any of the movies in several months now. :rolleyes:

The cheesiest scene would have to be when Frodo wakes up in the Fields of Cormallen...

*Frodo wakes up, sees Gandalf and says in a dumb voice "Gan - dalf?"
Enter Merry and Pippin (I think), who *leap* on the bed.
Slowly the fellowship appears in the room, as the scene gets progressively worse. Even the music is cheesy. What could be a very sweet and moving scene became an extremely cheesy (and in turn, extremely hilarious) scene.*

The only scene that is nearly as bad is the scene when the Hobbits reunite in Rivendell - cheesy laughter, exaggerated movements...

(Those aren't really lines but they fit the bill).

[The Elf-warrior]

Here are some more cheesy lines in chronological order. From FOTR, "What’s this? A ranger caught off his guard?" combined with Arwen putting a knife at Aragorn's throat. From the TTT Treebeard saying "Sounds like orc mischief to me." I agree about "what does your heart tell you?" From ROTK the Arwen lines "You have the gift of foresight what did you see?..." and then "You saw that there was a child. You saw my son."

[Nimrodel_9]

A diversion!Thanks Captain Obvious!

[Oddwen]

Anything by Legolas. Anything. They turned him into a stuntspiece who spewed one-liners.
Anything likewise by Gothmog. (The Sta-Puft Marshmallow orc.) "Feahhhh...hehthe city is rank with it." "Fah-stahhhhhh!" hatehatehatehate hate hate. I can't wait to see his EE death scene. >:D

And as good as Gimli started out, they turned him into a bumbling comic relief. Why? Why? Why?

Eowyn: "Why can't Merry fight for those he loves?"

Anything by Arwen. Aragorn's "Dwelling in the days of peace" speech at his coronation. And the style that Gandalf spoke in was cheesy to me. "Theodred's death, was not of your making." Remind me to finish my vocal LotR parody someday...

"The Lord of the Rings" is great to MST. Ha ha ha. That's why I love the New Movie Script and Crazy Scenes sooo much.

~A Not-At-All-In-A-Positive-Mood Oddwen~

[Sapphire_Flame]

(The Sta-Puft Marshmallow orc.)
*dies laughing* Nice one, Oddwen! :D

I think the most cheezy lines come from Captain Obvious himself. Examples:

"A diversion!"

"Goblins!"

"The horses are restless, and the men quiet."

Woo! Captain Obvious™ strikes again! As Merry so eloquently said in the Stupid Ring Parody, "Thank you, oh wonderous elf, for your overwhelming ability to state the obvious. I am so not worthy of being in your presence." w00t.

Although, one of Eomer's lines really prompted an MST from me:

"That mountain is evil."

Saphy: Aw, that's what you said about all the mountains!

Eomer: *pouts* I just wanted some attention...

Then there are Aragorn's most cheezy lines:

"Legolas, what do your elf-eyes see?"

"Let's hunt some orc."

*sigh* Poor, poor guys. *patpats the purveyors of cheezy lines*

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[The Only Real Estel]

"What's this? A ranger caught of his gaurd?"

"Legolas! What do your elf eyes see?" ( thanks for the clarification there, Aragorn, for a second we'd forgotten he was elven :rolleyes: )

The short jokes got really cheezy really fast.

"A diversion."

Unfortunately, the whole sequence following Frodo's awakening in Gondor near the end of RotK was pretty cheezy. From the "Gan-dalf?" line that Firefoot mentioned earlier, to the very fake sounding laughter he was forcing, to the incredibly wierd look he gives Sam when he comes in. It reeked of parmesan cheese 4 months past the expiration date.

[Lalaith]

My favourite cheesy Legolas line was:
"That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell."

Don't know why, but it cracks me up every time.

A lot of Sam's speech at the end of the Two Towers made me wince. And Frodo/Elijah's portentous delivery of "tell us about Sam, dad, Frodo wouldn't have made it without him." Bleugh.

[Essex]

A lot of the so called 'cheesy' lines needed to be put in to explain to the movie goer details that Tolkien narrated.

PJ did not make Lord of the Rings just for us Book Snobs. He also wrote it for the 'non inititiated'. Live with it!!!!

Just a few points re the above.

'Let's hunt some orc'. I believe this is actually 'Let us hunt some orc', which gives it a different tone that is not 'modern' speech. This line was borrowed from TT when Aragorn explains to Eomer what he is doing. 'I am called Strider,' answered Aragorn. 'I came out of the North. I am hunting Orcs.

'A Ranger caught off his guard?' This gives the uninitiated some insight into who Strider is, but is also a nice addition to us Book Readers of Strider's history.

"Legolas! What do your elf eyes see?" The same as Arwen's line, it gives the non book watchers details that Elves have far superior eyesight. Aragorn could have used his original line 'Keen are the eyes of the Elves', but this is not a command. I put it to you, in context to the films, this would have sounded more 'cheesier' than the film version.

PS Firefoot, I feel sorry for you if you find the scene when Frodo awakes as Cheesy and hilarious. I found it moving.

[Rimbaud]

They give Bloom some real dud material, though he doesn't need to sound quite as stilted as he does.

Something that came to my attention, and in the way of such things, now annoys me when it crops up was the repeated phrasing 'This is no mindless rabble', 'This is no mine', 'This is no orc blood', 'this is no mere Ranger' etc.

However the orc hunting line takes the biscuit for being the most cheddar-like of the cheese. It's especially disappointing when you see the original text of the scene in comparison.

[Boromir88]

I'm surprised no one has said this one yet.
I see you!

With all the slamming of Legolas this one liner by the Witch-king might just be as bad. When he's standing over Theoden...
Die Now!
Reminds me of that corny movie Dark City where these vampirish looking people go around wave their hand and say "sleep," and the people pass out.

Of course I can't let Legolas go without getting another jab at him. When he's doing his Mumak slaying bonanza and counting kills, "34, 35, 36..etc." This is only bad because the fangurls in the theatre began counting with him, and when he was done counting they continued to count his kills....ugh.

Aragorn in TTT:
You have 2000 good men riding North as we speak. Eomer is loyal to you, he will return and fight for his king.
What I find corny about this is when Eomer and Aragorn met in the plains of Rohan (Movie) there were probably barely 100 riders, so somehow the Rohirrim must have some sort of cloning machine off star wars, and on top of the that Aragorn just knows they are up to 2000. Heck the Elves have Scotty's transporter beam, now the Rohirrim are making their own advances in technology.

Essex, I applaud you for defending the movies, however I didn't make this thread intending to downgrade PJ's movies, they were great movies. This is intended just for some cheezy lines, and sometimes cheezy is funny, heck I tell old corny jokes all the time :p :rolleyes: .

[Elven-Maiden]

These are cheesy, but I love them to bits!

Aragorn: Gentlemen, we do not stop till nightfall.
Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: You've already had it.
Pippin: We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?
Merry: I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?
Merry: I wouldn't count on it.


Gimli: Not the beard.


Frodo: I am Frodo Baggins, and this is Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your bodyguard?
Sam: His gardener.


Legolas: (in Elvish) You're late.
Legolas: (in English)You look terrible.

Smeagol: ...and take it for ME.
Gollum: For us.
Smeagol: I meant for us

:D

[Essex]

Boromir,

regarding your point on the cheesiness of 'Die Now' that the Witch King says to Eowyn.

This line was borrowed from the Witch King's line to Gandalf at the gates of Minas Tirith. 'Old fool!' he said. 'Old fool! This is my hour. Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!' So PJ cannot be blamed for that.

Therefore Tolkien has Cheesy Dialouge too.......... ;)

[Boromir88]

Then why doesn't he just say...
Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!'
Instead of cutting the sentence in half with a cheezy Legolas liner "Die now." I don't see Tolkien as the cheeziness here because he just didn't end it with "Die Now!" Just doesn't sound right, reminds me of "Sleep (hand wave)." Which was just downright bad.

Edit: I'm sure if I look hard enough I can find corny lines Tolkien has too, in fact I know one.
"Shortcuts make for delays, but inns make for longer ones."
This I find really corny, but that good corny, sort of like your Grandpa's jokes, with that quirky sort of humor. Where "Die Now!," or "A Diversion!," or "I see you!" are just...bad.

[Essex]

OK Boromir, I understand your point that maybe the line is 'bad' because it cuts out most of the sentence, but I don't see how it's 'cheesy'.

anyway, I enjoyed the Witch King scene immensly, it was one of the scenes I was most looking forward to, and it didn't dissapoint.

And I didn't smell gorgonzola either....

[mark12_30]

There are few lines that I mind; "A diversion" is one, I suppose. Much that has been mentioned so far I am either little bothered by or I enjoy. However, what I do find very cheesy indeed is: the LACK of good lines for Frodolijah.

Book-Frodo is learned, articulate, thoughtful, diplomatic, and a worthy nephew of Ambassador Bilbo. His extensive discussion with Faramir, for instance, is astonishingly eloquent, and in my opinion it's a shame that we never heard any of it in the movie.

Wood is no slouch, and can deliver a line, a paragraph, or a speech at need. I wish they'd asked him to once in a while. Instead, Frodolijah was relegated to body-language, eye-rolling, falling, and slithering into corners far too often.

[Lalwendë]

Aragorn's "Dwelling in the days of peace" speech at his coronation.

I have a video tape somewhere with an episode of The South Bank Show about Ian McKellen; on this there's a most amusing out-take where they do a 'spoof' coronation. In this, Ian McKellen is crowned and he delivers the immortally camp line "these are the days of the Queen..." ;)

Now, to be fair on the lines which Orlando Bloom got, I think they weren't all that bad, but you could tell he was straight-out-of-drama-school in many cases; his enunciation was just too perfect, which made some of his lines sound twee.

My worst line has to be the much hated: "Give up the halfling, she-elf".

[Sapphire_Flame]

My worst line has to be the much hated: "Give up the halfling, she-elf".
Gneh. Ditto that. :eek: Good point about "just out of acting school" Orli, too.

~ Saphy ~

[Lalwendë]

Another line which is incredibly out of place, but I like as it's a little Morecambe & Wise, is that delivered by Legolas to Gimli on the walls of Helm's Deep:

"Shall I describe it to you or do you want me to find you a box?"

[Boromir88]

I love how Mr. Bloom has the same accent as a soldier, an Elf, and a pirate.

Gothmog: "The age of Men is over, the Time of the orc has come."
Funny how a guy mentioned in one sentence gets more screen time in ROTK then the Witch-King himself.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gothmog: "The age of Men is over, the Time of the orc has come."

And it made it even cheezier coming from him, who knows that he even is an orc? I'm guessing it should've gone more like, "The age of Men is over, the Time of the orc & lumpy-faced pink things has come." :p

[AbercrombieOfRohan]

I love Orlando Bloom to death and I think that he has potential to be a really good actor (see Ned Kelly), but his lines in LOTR are pathetic at times. I agree with all of the things mentioned above, but the cheesiest thing that he says is in LOTR:TTT when he yells at Aragorn at Helm's deep about how they're all going to die. Boe a hûn: neled herain dan caer menig!
and
Aragorn, men i ndagor. Hýn ú-... ortheri. Natha daged aen!

It's not that these lines are particularly bad, it's the way he prounounces them.

boy a hoon etc. cracks me up every time I see it.

[Boromir88]

Yes, I always wondered why Aragorn and Legolas would just switch to an Elven language once in a while, here and there, for a couple lines, didn't really make sense. I think they were really insulting Gimli :eek: . :p

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

(The Sta-Puft Marshmallow orc.)

And here I always thought it was Piglet on steroids.

I've got to throw in my [possibly] least favorite line:

"He's alive." ~Sam in Moria (the new Captain Obvious?)

[THE Ka]

I'm surprised no one has said this one yet.


With all the slamming of Legolas this one liner by the Witch-king might just be as bad. When he's standing over Theoden...

Reminds me of that corny movie Dark City where these vampirish looking people go around wave their hand and say "sleep," and the people pass out.

Of course I can't let Legolas go without getting another jab at him. When he's doing his Mumak slaying bonanza and counting kills, "34, 35, 36..etc." This is only bad because the fangurls in the theatre began counting with him, and when he was done counting they continued to count his kills....ugh.

Aragorn in TTT:

What I find corny about this is when Eomer and Aragorn met in the plains of Rohan (Movie) there were probably barely 100 riders, so somehow the Rohirrim must have some sort of cloning machine off star wars, and on top of the that Aragorn just knows they are up to 2000. Heck the Elves have Scotty's transporter beam, now the Rohirrim are making their own advances in technology.

Essex, I applaud you for defending the movies, however I didn't make this thread intending to downgrade PJ's movies, they were great movies. This is intended just for some cheezy lines, and sometimes cheezy is funny, heck I tell old corny jokes all the time :p :rolleyes: .

heh! Dark City! I love that movie! Cracks me up. But, it made my brother terrified. So, my friend once waited until he had left his room (he had been playing pong or mario for 10 hours without a bathroom break...) she hid in the darkness of his room and then jumped out and said "SLEEP!". My brother screamed (in his normal 5-year-old girl style...) and fell on the floor. It was funny until we thought he really "fainted" but, he was trying to trick us into thinking he did. oh, well. it was fun anyway.

Ok, time for cheezy scene...

When you first see frodo after the Arwen river-incident and his little bout with the Nazguls... It makes me laugh so much when they throw in that fakey looking "head towards the light" bit and you only see Elrond's talking head... :D

So funny.

~Pinotastic Ka~

[Oddwen]

Sam in Moria (the new Captain Obvious?)

Not new at all...Sam is the original. Leggy is just the copycat. If you will recall in TTT at the Black Gate, Sam leans too far out and "surfs" down the hill. This is far before Helm's Deep and Legolas's shield surfing move. (The only difference between the two is that Sam had a bad landing...)

It's like my Dad said. "They made Gollum too weak." Both of his monologues are very offensive to me. Especially the last:

"And they doesn't taste very nice, does they precious?
No. Not nice at all.........my love."

And especially...
"She always needs. To feed."
Yuck. Makes Shelob sound like some b-movie vampire...probably like this "Dark City" y'alls is talking about.

[The Saucepan Man]

By the time we get to 10 pages, we should have the entire script here ... :rolleyes:

[Boromir88]

lol SpM, come on now, I like....that one line....you know....the one I'm talking about.... :rolleyes: .

I think Denethor's running out of the hall and getting a 10.0 off his dive was rather corny, for this reason. I'm sorry Denny, that's what you get when you put flamable liquids on yourself and get too close to fire, what did you expect?

[mark12_30]

And they doesn't taste very nice, does they precious?

That one makes me laugh anytime, anywhere. I **love** it.

[Oddwen]

That line isn't so bad. It's the reply.

By the time we get to 10 pages, we should have the entire script here ...
~SPM

Oh yes! That's what I forgot! :p

[Essex]

However, what I do find very cheesy indeed is: the LACK of good lines for Frodolijah........Wood is no slouch, and can deliver a line, a paragraph, or a speech at need. I wish they'd asked him to once in a while. Instead, Frodolijah was relegated to body-language, eye-rolling, falling, and slithering into corners far too often.So what about his narration back at Bag End? That was beautifully delivered and gets me every time I hear it.

Does anyone here except for me and the Saucepan Man actually like these movies? All I seem to see on these movie posts is another reason to slag them off.......

(yes, I know, taking myself far too seriously)

[mark12_30]

So what about his narration back at Bag End? That was beautifully delivered and gets me every time I hear it.

Does anyone here except for me and the Saucepan Man actually like these movies?

I love these movies. As I've said elsewhere, they are some of the best Tolkien fanfiction ever produced, and have rekindled interest in many, and introduced Tolkien to many who would not otherwise have landed in Middle-Earth at all. They do deviate from the books, etc etc, but given their positive worldwide Tolkien impact I can 'forgive' much. I think they are mostly superb as they stand, and deserved all eleven oscars, etc.

And yes, the narration at Bag End is wonderful-- to me, proof that more of Frodo should have been heard as well as seen. That is my one real complaint about the movies as a whole: that Frodo (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=1784) was dumbed down.

Otherwise, they are magnificent.

[Boromir88]

Essex, from a movie critiquers point of view, this is nothing like some of the greats, like Hitchcock, Franz Lang....etc. The movies catch my eye because it's entertaining, and fun to watch. But is it a brilliant piece of work that I watch repeatedly, over and over again? No, because there's not much depth to it. Mr. Jackson decided to focus on fighting, and not the characters, but did I like it? I have the movies, so I'll let everyone figure that out.

[Lalaith]

Essex, this thread is about cheesy lines so it's not surprising that there are a few negative comments! ;)
I love the films too but I don't think they're perfect. They are masterpieces, but flawed masterpieces, IMO.
Retournons a nos fromages...one of the scenes that I found cheesy was Gandalf and Pippin's discussion on the afterlife in Gondor. I didn't realise, until someone on here pointed it out, that those lines were actually genuine Tolkien.
But they were quoted out of context, and were not in keeping with Tolkien's ideology - Pippin, as a mortal, had a fate after death unknown to any other than Eru. The final "that's not so bad, is it?" was a bit wincey.

(BTW - what is that literary effect called again, when something high-flown is followed by something pedestrian? It's on the tip of my tongue but I can't think of it and it's driving me mad...Could one of you clever literary theorists help so that I can get to sleep tonight?)
Edit: I've remembered! Bathos is the word I was looking for...

[AbercrombieOfRohan]

Essex,
We all trash these movies, but notice the detailed level in which we trash them. It is the sign of some true fans right here. We all trash them because we love them so much that we are compelled to find fault in them. (Well I guess I should stop saying we, as I can only vouch for myself.) I have seen these mvies more times than I can count. Their imprefections make them even better than PJ could have hoped for.

[Morsul the Dark]

Aragorn TTT "It's the beard" I certainly doubt dwarf women have beards...also a little loose for aragorn to joke around like that I found it out of charactor.

Theoden "I know your face," Uh yeah I certainly hope you know your niece.this one though may be disbuted because he was possessed...

I cant think of any others at the moment

[THE Ka]

Ok, I am a major fan of boromir, and i know i might be poking fun at his character for this... Really people, this is going to be hard. But, this is another annoying line from the movies that makes me really mad that it was ever uttered.


After Pippin ever so lovely alerted the orcs of moria and boromir run to the door to try and shut it,

"Great.They have a cave troll." (It seems we have more than one captain obvious...)

Gahh! BAD! No! No! This is one of the lines that i think is an abomination.


~Regretful Ka~

[Orominuialwen]

I certainly doubt dwarf women have beards... Actually they do. I can't find the exact quote at the moment, but Tolkien does mention this in LotR, along with the foolish belief of some men that there are no Dwarf women, and the Dwarves just spring out of stone. I clearly remember having a conversation with my brother on the subject back when we were first reading LotR, which was before TTT came out.

[Oddwen]

Theoden "I know your face,"

TTT is my least favorite of the Three. Partly because every time one turns around, someone is saying "I know your name!" So, I just replace a choice word.

"My name, Sméagol!"

"Yes, that was my name...Sméagol the Grey."

"I know your face. Sméagol!"

All of which are quite cheezy to my ears.

[The Only Real Estel]

"Great.They have a cave troll." (It seems we have more than one captain obvious...)

Actually I think it only goes "They have a cave troll", but that's not really the point here. I don't mind the line because nobody else knew there was anything out there until they saw the arrows hit the door; and even then I'm sure they just thought there were orcs. So since the majority of the fellowship didn't know the cave troll was about, it couldn't really be an 'obvious' line. I didn't mind it, in case you couldn't tell :p.

[Boromir88]

I love that line, and it comes from the often witty/satirist Boromir :p . I can imagine Boromir saying something like that.

"But the enemy holds the eastern bank," objected Boromir. "And even if you pass the Gates of Argonath and come unmolested to the Tindrock, what will you do then? Leap down the Falls and land in the marshes?"

Also, in reply to the Theoden "I know your face." I found that line rather touching, he was just "healed" and then he sees Eowyn, "I know your face." Anyway, maybe I'm biased because I happen to adore Bernard Hill :) .

[THE Ka]

Lovely line none the less...


*Upon boromir's remark, Legolas reveals that he "can" fly...

L: "Sure you can! Watch meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"


************************************************** ********

Yes, another stupid line from Ka's unlimited imagination... :rolleyes:

[Rimbaud]

Talking of cheese: the rearing white horse, with accompanying whinny effect anyone?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

"Hi-ho, Silver!", Rim.

[Elianna]

I find the lines which are *ahem* stolen from Star Wars very cheesy. And what's worse, all the rest of the scene is great.

Éowyn: I'm going to save you.
Théoden: You already have........(And I also think he'll continue) Éowyn, you were right about me. You were right. Tell your brother: you were right.

Haven't figured out what Éowyn'd be right about, but she'd still be right....

[Vanwatholiel]

You guys are so mean! Legolas is not Captain Obvious, and you all really act like it is his fault. If you are trying to blame someone, then blame Peter Jackson! Not the actual character. As if he really has control over his lines in the movie. In the real thing, Legolas is not Mr. Obvious! Instead of trying to talk about someone, try this: your so called "cheezy" lines were cheezy because you put them there. The fact that you chose those lines for this forum makes you cheezy instead! :mad: If you are going to talk about Legolas, read the real thing, the book! Then you can determine whether or not he was Mr. Obvious. After all, it was just a movie! Leave Legolas alone! Whew! Now I can breathe. Ok, I'm done yelling. :D

[The Only Real Estel]

If you are going to talk about Legolas, read the real thing, the book! Then you can determine whether or not he was Mr. Obvious. After all, it was just a movie! Leave Legolas alone! Whew! Now I can breathe

I don't think any of us accuse Legolas of being Cap'n Obvious in the books; just the movies, where his frequent flashes of obviousness have been known to leave me blind for days.

[Boromir88]

If you are going to talk about Legolas, read the real thing, the book!
Been there done that.

Instead of trying to talk about someone, try this: your so called "cheezy" lines were cheezy because you put them there. The fact that you chose those lines for this forum makes you cheezy instead!
This makes absolutely no sense, and before you go on critisizing why don't you read some of my earlier posts, try that....

Edit: I'm sure if I look hard enough I can find corny lines Tolkien has too, in fact I know one.
"Shortcuts make for delays, but inns make for longer ones."
This I find really corny, but that good corny, sort of like your Grandpa's jokes, with that quirky sort of humor. Where "Die Now!," or "A Diversion!," or "I see you!" are just...bad.

Wow, this is the closest I've ever come to giving someone a bad rep. But, I'm a nice guy...maybe too nice.

[Sapphire_Flame]

You guys are so mean! Legolas is not Captain Obvious, and you all really act like it is his fault. If you are trying to blame someone, then blame Peter Jackson! Not the actual character.
I do blame PJ, for giving a great character such horrid lines. I also blame Orlando, because, even with horribly obvious lines, he could definitely delivered them better. Some of the lines could have been much better had they not been delivered in such a toneless and consistant manner.


In the real thing, Legolas is not Mr. Obvious!
Indeed not. In fact, Book!Legolas is one of my favourite characters.


Instead of trying to talk about someone, try this: your so called "cheezy" lines were cheezy because you put them there. The fact that you chose those lines for this forum makes you cheezy instead! :mad:
I agree with Boromir88; that made no sense. What exactly were you trying to say there?


If you are going to talk about Legolas, read the real thing, the book! Then you can determine whether or not he was Mr. Obvious. After all, it was just a movie! Leave Legolas alone!
I've read the books ten times. And, in the books, Legolas has a much more compelling and interesting character. In the movies, however, he gets a very raw deal; he's changed from clever and dynamic to a cardboard-cutout Action Teflon Elf™. Personally, I didn't like the change much. PJ and Orlando both could have done a better job.

Oh, and it's "Captain Obvious", by the way.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[the guy who be short]

your so called "cheezy" lines were cheezy because you put them there

Possibly the "royal you," ie, PJ. :p

Having complained about all the cheese in LotR, I can't really imagine a cheeseless version...

[Ainaserkewen]

I wasn't aware that this thread was for the discussion of blame. I thought we were just spouting our favourite cheesy lines we love to hate.

frequent flashes of obviousness have been known to leave me blind for days.
The Only Real Estel have you been reading Dilbert lately?
12/06 (http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2610230041206.gif)
12/08 (http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2002034141208.gif)

It seems to me that perhaps the script was not written specifically for the linguists in the audience. I'm not crazy about the screenplays of the movies, but like I said, we love to hate those cheesy lines.

"We're not alone" and all the other dialog surrounding Frodo and Sam in the beginning of The Two Towers really ran me off that movie. It wasn't the strongest opening, but I've forgiven them.

[Sapphire_Flame]

Oo, thanks for those comics, Aina! :D

we love to hate those cheesy lines.
Indeed we do. It's the weird little lines that let us have fun with the films. If they were all completely serious and well done, it wouldn't be as amusing to watch. Prime chances to MST!

How about Gollum's song at the exit of Shelob's lair? ;)

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[The Saucepan Man]

I wasn't aware that this thread was for the discussion of blame. I thought we were just spouting our favourite cheesy lines we love to hate.Quite. This thread is in danger of going up in flames.

If you must discuss so-called "cheesy" lines in the films, then stick to those, rather than getting shirty with one another.

Otherwise I shall take great pleasure in closing this thread. :rolleyes:

(Personally, I think that the main lesson of this thread is that one person's "cheeze" is another person's delightful dessert.)

[Elianna]

(Personally, I think that the main lesson of this thread is that one person's "cheeze" is another person's delightful dessert.)

Yummy, Cheesecake!

[Ainaserkewen]

Yummy, Cheesecake!
Ughh! How did I know that was coming? (I don't like using smilies, so consider this a reminder that I'm only joking around.)
Otherwise I shall take great pleasure in closing this thread. It's good to know that you take great pleasure in something...

Also The Saucepan Man, good point about the cheese/dessert comment that Elianna liked so much (again, only kidding). Some parts...like for example all the stunts that our beloved Legolas achieves over the course of three movies may make some puke(or worse, flame). But I still love how the music swells and moves to cut time and how everyone in the theater's breath seems to catch and a smile comes to their faces when Legolas slays the oliphaunt/rides down stairs/defies gravity. It's just some of those great movie moments that all action films have, and I'm a sucker for them. But as Ed the Sock would say, "It's still cheesy!"

[Rose Cotton]

Ainaserkewen,The Saucepan Man- I think your both right. For instance I simply love Aragorn's "Let's hunt some orc." But I know quite well that both Tolkien and other people's stomachs are both turning when they hear that line.

There are quite a few lines I find cheesy. Quite a few of them are Gollums. But I think that if I were to state them all I would just be reiterating what other people have put there.


I LOVE CHEESE!!!!

[Sapphire_Flame]

Anyone catch any of the new cheeziness in the EE? ;) Here's the one I liked:

Corsair Captain: You and what army?

Aragorn: This army.

Armies of the Dead: *swoosh*

*headdesk* Lurvely, PJ, really.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Essex]

I STILL say, (and I seem to be in a minority of one) that Aragorn says Let us hunt some orc. This gives more of an older 'archaic' language to the sentence, and not so modern. And of course, again it 's kind of taken from the books where Aragorn speaks to Eomer I came out of the North. I am hunting Orcs.

[Boromir88]

Actually Essex, I thought he said that too. "Let us hunt some orc." I'll have to put it on captions next time I view that part. That was the only thing that made me figure out what Eowyn was saying when she was nursing the boy and girl. I slap myself I know it's in the book its, "The wildmen are burning as they go, rick, cot, and tree." To me it sounded like she said "rick caught in a tree." Maybe, I'm just getting old.

[The Saucepan Man]

"The wildmen are burning as they go, rick, cot, and tree." To me it sounded like she said "rick caught in a tree." Maybe, I'm just getting old.You and me both Boro. I always thought that she was referring to someone called Rick Cottontree. :D

As for Aragorn's line, the script may say "Let us", but I am sure that Viggo says "Let's". Perhaps he just felt more comfortable saying it that way.

[Ainaserkewen]

Corsair Captain: You and what army?
I haven't seen the Extended Edition yet, but good gravy that does sound cheesy!

I was at home all day yesterday and decided to watch Return of the King (the regular) and I noticed something that made me laugh. I'm not sure if it contends with regular cheese, but after the first too movies, it does now.

When Aragorn has just been "sworn in" as king and he's matching around tilting his head to various people he comes across Legolas who's look smashing...they do their manly grip and then he sees Arwen. Now, the Arwen scene is cheesy enough, but Legolas is prettier than Arwen! I doubt that this is just me. But nomatter what anyone else thinks, I think it's cheesy.

[Boromir88]

I laugh when I see that shot where they show Arwen. You see Elrond like prodding her on in the back ground, almost like he's going to cry. His face just reminds me of that saying, where you are on the verge of breaking tears, but holding it back..."that's my special girl."

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

You and me both Boro. I always thought that she was referring to someone called Rick Cottontree. :D
Add me to that list, Saucie. I spent most of my first few TTT viewing experiences wondering how Eowyn knew some random hobbit with the last name Cottontree, and why the orcs were burning him. Glad to see I'm not the only one.

Haldir's line: "The haaaht of Elven-dum on Uuuth... The home of Cele-booown... and Galad-lee-el... lady of Light." :rolleyes:

[THE Ka]

Anyone catch any of the new cheeziness in the EE? ;) Here's the one I liked:

Corsair Captain: You and what army?

Aragorn: This army.

Armies of the Dead: *swoosh*

*headdesk* Lurvely, PJ, really.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

Ah! Bad memories!

When i heard that i was so ashamed that i put my hood up and pulled the strings :( ... My poor mother and father (They wanted me to come over and watch it with them...)... especially my mum, because she's never read a single line of the books.I think my dad has read a few, mostly the treebeard chapter which now is why he praises Ents with almost a fetish-like joy... :)

~Geddish Ka

[Turin]

I think this thread has stated the obvious:

There WAS a reason why Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens failed to win an oscar for best script/writing!!!

[The Saucepan Man]

There WAS a reason why Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens failed to win an oscar for best script/writing!!!Given the usual Hollywood approach, surely this was because they retained some of the original lines. ;)

[Essex]

Turin, you may have missed one of the multitude of Oscars ROTK received this year was in fact for Best Adapted Screenplay..........

[Sapphire_Flame]

When Aragorn has just been "sworn in" as king and he's matching around tilting his head to various people he comes across Legolas who's look smashing...they do their manly grip and then he sees Arwen. Now, the Arwen scene is cheesy enough, but Legolas is prettier than Arwen! I doubt that this is just me. But nomatter what anyone else thinks, I think it's cheesy.
Yeah. I think that could count as cheezy.

I laugh when I see that shot where they show Arwen. You see Elrond like prodding her on in the back ground, almost like he's going to cry. His face just reminds me of that saying, where you are on the verge of breaking tears, but holding it back..."that's my special girl."
*snicker* Yeah, that was pretty bad. I usually laugh just after that, when Aragorn and Arwen are trying to eat each other. :eek:

Here's a little thing I've thought was cheezy. At the exit of Shelob's Lair, when Frodo is caught in the web, Gollum/Smeagol pops up and starts to sing:

Smeagol: Naughty little fly,
Why does it cry?
Caught in a web,
Soon he'll be...

Gollum: Eaten.

*headdesk* That is just a little painful. I mean, really, Gollum had hightailed it out of there as quick as he could. Frodo doesn't even see him again until Mount Doom. Yet, suddenly there he is, singing rhymes bad enough to make Tom Bombadil cringe. Thatta boy. *thwaps PJ*

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Ainaserkewen]

Smeagol: Naughty little fly,
Why does it cry?
Caught in a web,
Soon he'll be...

Gollum: Eaten.
"Oh, you're being so clever Gollum. Better end the movie here, because after that line, how can anyone top that?"

[The Only Real Estel]

[QUOTE]Smeagol: Naughty little fly,
Why does it cry?
Caught in a web,
Soon he'll be...

Gollum: Eaten.[QUOTE]

I don't know, I gues this line might have a little cheese to it, but not an overdose (for a change). Everyone is expecting him to just say 'dead', which is alright, but eaten has a much darker foreboding to it. Eaten implies a longer, more painful, and more terrifying death. He's not just going to be 'dead'...he's going to be eaten. :eek:

[Boromir88]

I don't know, I gues this line could be a little cheesy, but I actually liked it.
Some cheesy lines are so cheesy you can't help but laugh, so "cheesy" lines aren't always a negative thing. Think of your grandpa's old jokes. :)

There's even a few lines in Tolkien that I find rather cheesy (but I laugh when I read them). I would say, there is a funny kind of cheesy lines, and a bad kind that leaves you wondering what the heck?

"Well that settles it, shortcuts make long delays, but inns make longer ones."

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

"What's this... a ranger, caught off his guard?"

[ivo]

The by far cheesiest lines in the whole trilogy are to me the monologue of Sam at the end of TT.

I guess they wanted the audience to leave the cinema with a good feeling. For me it ruins the whole feeling of utter despair (that I felt at this point, reading the books).

[Elianna]

"I am happy for you. He is an honorable man." - Théoden, TTT :rolleyes:

[The Saucepan Man]

By the time we get to 10 pages, we should have the entire script here ...My precition is gradually and scarily coming true ...

Although, I suppose some lines will never feature here, as I trust that you are all checking that those quoted are not attributable originally to Tolkien himself. :rolleyes: ;)

You know, some of these are among my favourite lines (and not because I find them humourous in some way). Perhaps I just have a different definition of "cheeze" from everyone else ... :confused:

[Turin]

Turin, you may have missed one of the multitude of Oscars ROTK received this year was in fact for Best Adapted Screenplay..........

I didn't. There is a difference between adapting the LoTR into cinematic form and actually winning an oscar for having a decent script ;) .

[The Saucepan Man]

Although I believe that book-based adaptations are excluded from the category of best original script ...

[Turin]

Although I believe that book-based adaptations are excluded from the category of best original script ...

Though Walsh and Boyens still wouldn't have won; not unless Hollywood politics is even worse than I imagined!!

I, in no way, want to sound sexist or chauvinist (honestly) but...

1. I felt that having 2 women predominantly write the script was detriment to the whole Trilogy. I mean (and some have already mentioned these in this thread), there were a lot of (IMO, too many) cheesy lines that had too much femininity about them.

2. Characterisations such as Legolas had a (too) obvious fangirl (no disrespect to fangirls out there :D ) element to it. I can see that for commercial success you need to have some "glamour" but to that kind of extent?

3. I know that both writers were very inexperienced. Should they have taken such lead roles in creating a decent script for such an important movie? Certainly, some of their "naivity" came out on numerous occasions.

PS

Please don't lambast me for asking these questions. I only want to know if others share similar sentiments.

[Sapphire_Flame]

Why, Turin, all the pessimism of your name seems to have rubbed off on you. :p

You know, some of these are among my favourite lines (and not because I find them humourous in some way). Perhaps I just have a different definition of "cheeze" from everyone else ...

Ditto that. In fact, Boromir's cave troll line is one of my favourite lines in the films. :) Cheeze varies from person to person, evidently.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Boromir88]

Ditto that. In fact, Boromir's cave troll line is one of my favourite lines in the films. Cheeze varies from person to person, evidently.
Saphy, I found it very fitting for Boromir. Not only is the line fitting for Boromir, but the way Sean Bean says it, makes you think of the Boromir in the books. "Great, they have a cave troll."

Maybe, that's why some people would consider Legolas' lines "cheesy," because Mr. Bloom has the same accent for a pirate, an elf, and a Greek Warrior :p .

I would suggest that it's not necessarily the line that is the cheesy part, but maybe just how the actors say it?

[Oddwen]

I would suggest that it's not necessarily the line that is the cheesy part, but maybe just how the actors say it?
I would say yes. For instance, almost everything that Gandalf said was wonderful, in many cases favorite passages from the book. Yet his...style, his accent was all wrong, and it made him sound pretentious and overly grand. Maybe it's his Shakespearian theater training, I don't know.

On the positive side, I always love the exchange between Grima and Eowyn at the deathbed of Theodred. Grima's "Cold spring" dialogue is almost cheesy at the time, yet the way he says it redeems it.
And then the reply from Eowyn. "Your words are poison." Any other style of speaking those words would have just broken the mood. Miranda Otto found the absolute perfect way to say it. That's probably the only thing I like about TTT.

I haven't seen the RotK EE yet, can you believe it? That's what you get for having a birthday so close to Christmas. :mad:

But from the TTT EE, there is this that galls me:
"You still speak in riddles, hn-hn-henhh." ~Aragorn

And Gandalf's speech a little later on about Sauron fearing Aragorn, it just sounds like he's trying to get it out as fast as he can. It's annoying and cheezy.

[Sapphire_Flame]

*green* Good point about Orli, Boromir88. ;)

I definitely agree with Boro and Oddwen about the line delivery affecting (or is that effecting? :confused: ) the cheeziness of a particular quote.

On that note, do you think that, had someone else been chosen to play Legolas, would he not have seemed to be as much of a Captain Obvious?

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Boromir88]

On that note, do you think that, had someone else been chosen to play Legolas, would he not have seemed to be as much of a Captain Obvious?
I think any person with the line "A diversion" would sound like a Captain Obvious, it just so happens Mr. Bloom was the unfortunate one. Even Sean Connery, who is my personal favorite, and one of the best actors of all time, would seem like Captain Obvious with that line ;) .

[Frodo Baggins]

Yes well, actually The scene in Rotk when Elrond is prodding Arwen forward and about to burst into tears quite moving. I think he whispers "Go to him." However, when Aragorn and Arwen are trying to "eat each other" :rolleyes: and Aragorn is shoving his tongue down her throat is just soo cheesy and ...ick. I doubt Tolkien would have approved of elves or men french-kissing in public.

the chessiest line in the WHOLE trilogy?

Legolas: "A Diversion!" DUH!!!

oh and Legolas is not the only captiain obvious, take this line.

Elrond: I looked into you future and I saw death.

Any idiot knows she's gonna die.

[Rose Cotton]

Wow, I really loved Gollum's little rhyme at shelob's lair. It's just so creepy to me. Ya, it's not shakespearian poetry, but it's not supposed to be.

There arn't really any lines I hate. A few make me laugh and others that sort of grate on my nerves but I still enjoy them.

With one exeption:

I, in any film am turned off by slow motion. It just seems too melodramatic to me. Many of the scenes in the LotR movies pull this off fairly well if not brilliantly (i.e. Boromir's death). However the one scene that just goes over the edge is when Frodo sends Sam away. Sam is offering to take the ring and the scene goes into slow mo:

Sam: shaaaaaaaaaaaare............theeeeeeeee........loa aaaaaaaaaaad.......

IT'S SO CHEESY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't even stand it. I always have to fast forward through it even though it only takes a few seconds. To me it's just cheesy to insanity. And of course it's topped off by a major plot deviation.

So personally, I'd have to crown that as the king of cheesy lines.

[Sapphire_Flame]

Wow, I really loved Gollum's little rhyme at shelob's lair. It's just so creepy to me. Ya, it's not shakespearian poetry, but it's not supposed to be.
Nothing at all against the scene. I just found it a little...odd. Now, if Blues Man Gollum had shown up... :eek: ;)

.
Sam is offering to take the ring and the scene goes into slow mo:

Sam: shaaaaaaaaaaaare............theeeeeeeee........loa aaaaaaaaaaad.......

IT'S SO CHEESY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't even stand it. I always have to fast forward through it even though it only takes a few seconds. To me it's just cheesy to insanity. And of course it's topped off by a major plot deviation.

So personally, I'd have to crown that as the king of cheesy lines.
Ah! I can't believe no one had mentioned that before! I completely agree with you; I can't stand that part. Not only the slomo, it also does that echo-y thing. *cringes* Quite bad. I second your crowning.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I would have to third the crowning if it weren't for what is possibly my favorite line to hate:

"Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!"

*bangs head on desk*

[Vanwatholiel]

Ya, ya, I was very mean back there. And I am officially apologizing for such...unnecessary meaness. I'm so sorry. :( But I did mean it. I meant every word. Except for calling you guys cheesy. That was just twisted and wrong. I was just having one of those days, you know? Anyway, I'm sorry, and I love everyone! Just kidding. But Merry Christmas!!! And Happy Holidays! :D

[Lyta_Underhill]

The thing that makes Sam's slo-mo "Share the Load" line even cheezier is the horrified way Frodo is looking at him when he says it, and the close up on Sean Astin's obvious stubble (NOT a hobbit!), as if Frodo can't believe Sam is a) saying something so cheezy and b) that he has stubble . That was...TOO CLOSE!

Another big slice of cheese from Cirith Ungol is "It's sticky..what is it?" Real teenage horror movie dupe stuff...here is Frodo...obvious victim of the dark nameless horror. But this directorial Captain Obvious stunt is overwhelmed by the sheer hilarity of the "sticky" line. Gollum's child-demon horror movie singsong is yet another element of "let's make this whole Shelob's Lair sequence into a late 1970's horror movie! I also find the way Frodo is obviously staring hard when Sam is holding him after Frodo has become a spider eggroll to be strangely amusing as well. It makes me think that there was a particularly funny joke that Elijah has to keep trying hard to forget in order to keep a straight face.

one of the scenes that I found cheesy was Gandalf and Pippin's discussion on the afterlife in Gondor. I didn't realise, until someone on here pointed it out, that those lines were actually genuine Tolkien.
But they were quoted out of context, and were not in keeping with Tolkien's ideology - Pippin, as a mortal, had a fate after death unknown to any other than Eru. The final "that's not so bad, is it?" was a bit wincey.
Indeed, I thought that Gandalf was being horribly cruel to the little hobbit, as Pippin would NEVER see this particular end, and Gandalf was just teasing! And what was with Gandalf saying "death is a road we all must take?" I'm sure he didn't want to go into the immortality of the Elves and all that, especially not with Pippin's endlessly inquisitive nature, but it would have been cute if Pippin just started quizzing him then and there...;)

Cheers!
Lyta

P.S. Must give Boromir a thumbs up for the Cave Troll line...so much conveyed in so few words!

[Evisse the Blue]

"I am happy for you. He is an honorable man." - Théoden, TTT :rolleyes:
This line shall forever remind me of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, when Brutus is being referred to as 'an honourable man'... It's like I expect Bernard Hill to go on reciting that entire monologue... :D

But indeed one persons's cheese is another dessert, because there are few things I look forward to more while watching FOTR than Boromir's "They have a cave troll' line. I especially like the way he drawls the last bit: "They have a caaave troll." Very dry humour there: A mere stating of the facts, no fear, no surprise.
And, despite my general dissapointment with the extended edition of ROTK I love the Aragorn - Corsair of Umbar interaction, especially the "This army' line. I think it's very funny, considering how the army was invisible to their eyes before this and then suddenly it comes to sweep them to the ground.

One of the exhanges of dialogue that I cringe at is when Legolas says to Gimli that 'He was twitching' after shooting the orc beneath Gimli, at which he replies that "He's twitching because he's got my axe in his nervous system'. Whoa, Gimli had knowledge of anatomy that would have left the entire population of Middle Earth (and Valinor) gaping in awe. He was waaay ahead of his time....

Gimli's lines long before the end of movie three were corny because you knew from past experience that everytime the dwarf opened his mouth there would be a joke, more or less funny. So it was a sort of 'enough with the cracks already; can't you be anything other than the tom-fool of the fellowship' kind of feeling everytime you heard him speak.

[Oddwen]

EE material, the Orc slavedriver:
"Doooon't yeeew know we're at woowahhh???"
That's just so cringeworthy. Especially the closeup. *cringe*

[Vanwatholiel]

Quote* Doooon't yeeew know we're at woowahhh???"
That's just so cringeworthy. Especially the closeup. *cringe Quote*

That was very funny. The way you draw it out...*tears* It's not really a line but an action that makes even me grimace. As big as a Leggy Bopper as I am, even I have to say this was a bit too much: when Leggy grabs an orc shield and slides down the stairs shooting arrows. TT I mean, come on! I know Elves are superior and all, but geez! I am a traitor to the Leggy loving society. *cries uncontrollaby* :( Help! :eek: But still, I just had to say something. Oh, and when Eowyn says "I am no man!" ROTK I mean, Duh! okay, I'm done. Woo and Hoo! :D

[Assasin]

I hate it when Legolas makes all his odd little comments like:
"A red sun rises, blood has been spilled this night."
I mean, DUH. Someone could have gotten a paper cut, and blood would be spilled. I love it in the extended version of RotK when he says:
"I feel a faint tingling in my fingers, I think it's affecting me!" :confused:
Then Eomer looks at him like, whoosh, yah, no duh,:rolleyes: it affected you, that's why you're acting so loopy. The animation Hobbit is a horror movie, I don't know how much longer I could have taken the dwarf singing! :eek:

[Lyta_Underhill]

Gimli's lines long before the end of movie three were corny because you knew from past experience that everytime the dwarf opened his mouth there would be a joke, more or less funny. So it was a sort of 'enough with the cracks already; can't you be anything other than the tom-fool of the fellowship' kind of feeling everytime you heard him speak. The Gimli line that really makes me cringe is the "Let him stay there; let him rot! Why should we care?" line as he sits smoking in Minas Tirith in ROTK. Did you forget why you came out this way, Gimli, dear? Did you forget that there are two little hobbits trying to get through all those orcs rotting in Mordor with the IMPORTANT OBJECT that is the reason for the whole journey? That went beyond "joking" and into the realm of true emptyhead! Or is it just me; I'm sure this was an obvious segue into Aragorn's necessary exposition to follow, but it didn't make Gimli look very good at all!

Cheers!
Lyta

[Assasin]

It's not just you. I think in one of the battles, he got hit too hard on the head. Maybe they show it in one of the movies. I also wonder about the time he said, "He was twitching, because he's got my ax embedded into his nervous system!"
Did they even know about nervous systems back then? Later.

[Essex]

what, they didn't know something about the internal workings of the human (or orc) body, but, for example, they were able to make someone invisible and make time run slower? ;)

[Assasin]

What can I say? They're magic geeks. :p

[Kitanna]

What a wonderous thread this is! Just thinking about some of the lines people have mentioned makes me laugh uncontrolably.
There really are tons of cheezy lines thrown about the movies. Practically everything Legolas says. And then Aragorn gets a few in there. Like in TTT when they first go into Fangorn and Legolas says the White Wizard is near and Aragorn says "Do not let him speak, he will cast a spell on us" (or something like that) well duh future king! What else would a wizard do?
"They have a cave troll." And look they brought tupperware too!
But one of the cheesiest things in ROTK gets me laughing every time. When Frodo wakes up and sees Gandalf and then he has that laugh! Then as the people come into his room he says their name (with the exception of the hobbits) but not Legolas. Legolas comes in and Frodo just kinda smiles, but says nothing. It's like "Hey you, blond guy..."
My final cheestastic thing is Arwen. When she's trying to get Elrond to reforge the sword and she is holding that book and it just slips from her fingers. No offense to anyone who finds that a worthy scene, but is that what happens when you give away your immortal life? You lose the ability to hold onto to anything?

[Shelob]

originally Posted by Assasin
I hate it when Legolas makes all his odd little comments like:
"A red sun rises, blood has been spilled this night."
I mean, DUH. Someone could have gotten a paper cut, and blood would be spilled.

That never botherd me because I always assumed it was a variation of the rhyme

"Red sky at night
Sailor's delight
Red sky at morning
Sailor take warning"


And you're all right about Shelob's lair being rather cheesy,and that really rather irks me (three guesses why :D ), but I don't think anyone has yet mentioned the part when Frodo holds up the Light, fully expecting Shelob (well...something...he doesn't know what to expect) to be infront of him and, after a moments pause, you hear/see her behind him. THAT was pretty cheesy(and yes not really a line but I'm counting what Fodo says to light the Light, I just can't remember/spell/find it), but also one of my favorite scenes because it's so perfectly timed and so funny.

[Gorwingel]

I have to agree, this is a brilliant thread

I am somebody who absolutely loves the films, but, yes the lines can get intensely cheesy at times (I was absolutely shocked when they won Best Adapted Screenplay last year)

All of my favorites have been said, I too especially love many of Legolas' "Mr. Obvious" lines
I don't know if I can quote this exactly, but one that especially bothers me is when he says "the stars are veiled", and you can obviously see the stars clearly shining in the background

I don't really know if that is a cheesy line and not a movie mistake, but he is always stuck stating the obvious, and poor Gimli too, but, carry on :D

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

In TTT, during the warg attack, Legolas grabs onto a horse by its saddle and swings himself up (feet over head) onto its back.

:rolleyes: Captain Obvious meets Captain Gymnastics.

[mark12_30]

Actually, Sophia, twenty years ago I had a friend who could do something similar mounting her barrel-racer. Very impressive.

[Assasin]

I thought that was cool. Gimli probably suffers from self esteem issues, around Leggy, who wouldn't?

[Lathriel]

Captain obvious has a purpose. He needs to state the obvious for those dim witted audience members that are watching. People who still haven't gotten it yet. Thank goodness for Legolas who helps them through the movie they would have trouble understandign without him.
Besides I like some of his lines. "A red sun rises.." I like that line cause I myself look at the sunrise while going to school and I too think of what will happen that day according to the colour of the sunrise. I know it does sound a little weird,but it goes to show you Leggy isn't the only one.

Also some quotes mentioned are actually straight from the book. For example the dialogue between Sam and Frodo about their story being put into stories and "Frodo wouldn't have gne far without Sam" That is straight from the book as is Legolas's line, "That is one of the mearas unless my eyes are cheated by some spell. One last example, "Why can't Merry fight for those he loves." is also a quote taken from the book(If a little reshaped)

Also the dialogue between Pippin and Gandalf about death is beautiful. I hold that speech close to my heart. I am not afraid of many things but if I fear one thing it is death and what comes after. So that speech is very re-assuring and puts my heart at ease while bringing tears to my eyes.

However, even I think there are some cheesy lines and Saucepan man I also thought Eowyn said Rick Cottontree untill I put on the captions because I knew I must be hearing things wrongly.

By the time we get 10 pages we should have the whole script here.
AGREED. (Though it is kinda sad)

GOSH you guys are very harsh. :eek:

[Evisse the Blue]

I also like the "A red sun rises" line. I think some of you guys are biased against Legolas, with him having uttered so many 'obvious' lines. If it were Gandalf you would have been less likely to mention this as a cheesy line. Like Shelob wisely mentioned there's that little rhyme to support it, and also, that line is in the book, spoken by Legolas in approximately the same circumstances. There, there *pats line* nobody's gonna pick on you anymore now :D

[Assasin]

I'm not Leggy biased. I'm just bothered by a couple of his lines, that's all. I think every "good" movie/show needs a Mr. Obvious. Like Lathriel said, it helps the more foggy members of the audience.

[Vanwatholiel]

Captain obvious has a purpose. He needs to state the obvious for those dim witted audience members that are watching. People who still haven't gotten it yet. Thank goodness for Legolas who helps them through the movie they would have trouble understandign without him.



I agree. I happen to be one of those dim-witted people who are a wee bit slow on some of the scenes. One such instance is Leggy's so called Captain Obvious line, "A diversion!" I needed that line. I was listening, and I was trying to figure out what that word was. What Aragorn was talking about, there was a word for it, and I couldn't quite place it. Then Leggy shouts out his infamous line, and I go Oh, yeah! :eek: That was it. Then I am free to watch the movie. It's not my fault I'm slow. :D

[Lathriel]

Ah-Ha! I knew it.

But now I have another question for you? Did you read the books before you saw the movies or not. Because those people who really need Leggy are those who haven't read them.

[Vanwatholiel]

That happens to be not entirely true. I read the books, plus The Hobbit, two or three times before I saw the movie. I'm just an exception in a stereotype, that's all. :D

[Dragon Reborn]

Well I actually saw the movies before I read the books myself, and I didn't need Legolas' hints...

[Essex]

just noticed this from a while back (from Frodo Baggins I believe)

Elrond: I looked into you future and I saw death.

Any idiot knows she's gonna die.Not if she doesn't marry aragorn, and remains an elf. she'd be immottal. So therefore it wasn't a Captain Obvious line....

[Vanwatholiel]

Well then, maybe I'm just an idiot. Whatever the case is I believe that everyone, once in a while needs an obvious line. So I say more power to you. :D You guys are geniuses. (did I spell that wrong?) :rolleyes:

[Elmo]

a terrible line from the film has to be 'They run as if the very whips of their masters are upon them' What is that supposed to mean? It is a pointless change from the book and just makes Legolas sound stupid even though he sounded stupid a lot in the Two Towers 'That's no orc horn' etc

[Nogrod]

I would suggest that it's not necessarily the line that is the cheesy part, but maybe just how the actors say it?Or not just how cheesy they say it, but how cheesy they are in the first place? :D

[Břicho]

I was totally cheesed out by Dwimorberg and Aragorn's little sword fight with the King of the Dead.

Whenever, at the end of the ROTK, Frodo sort of rubs his shoulder with a faint smile on his face while his voiceover drones on about never being able to come back, I get a strong whiff of cheese--I mean where's the pain? Why should he need to go 'cross the sea?

[Rikae]

Well, let me just make a disclaimer; I adore Andy Serkis, think he was an excellent Smeagol, and liked him in the other movies I've seen him in too.

But why, oh why, does the Witch King have to have a West London accent? :rolleyes: It's Serkis' real accent, and works for Shagrat, but it's just silly from the WiKi. Why Jackson didn't tell him to change it I cannot fathom - he could have.
The accent makes all the WiKi's lines sound incredibly cheesy to me.

[The Only Real Estel]

a terrible line from the film has to be 'They run as if the very whips of their masters are upon them' What is that supposed to mean? It is a pointless change from the book and just makes Legolas sound stupid even though he sounded stupid a lot in the Two Towers

Well it's pretty straightforward to me. It means they're not just plodding along on their way; they're running like they're about to get whipped any second - quite a difference.

But I agree that Legolas has some...uh...interesting lines.

[Finduilas]

What are you all meaning by cheesy? Most of the ones meantioned, I thought halarious.

Poor Legolas. Even some of his reasonably good lines are being picked on :( . lol, I must say, I hope that if actors ever read these things, that they have a sense of humor.

Cheesy quotes:
What's this? A ranger caught off his guard?
I hate that one.
Let us hunt some orcs.
Kills my sister everytime.
Gandalf told me to keep you safe, and safe is where I'll keep you.
Kinda funny, but redundant :rolleyes:
What does your heart tell you?
Is used in to many movies, and sounds really stupid. I mean really, Star Wars can get away with it, seeing as cheesyness is what it's all about, but LotR?

And I could fill the whole page, but I'm getting tired. :)

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Here are some more cheesy lines in chronological order. From FOTR, "What’s this? A ranger caught off his guard?" combined with Arwen putting a knife at Aragorn's throat. I agree about "what does your heart tell you?" From ROTK Yeah I agree.

[sallkid]

Ok, first we get What's this? A ranger caught of his guard? which is cheesy enough and had me (who was expecting glorfindel) thinking "wow, elves are really effeminite" for about 5 seconds.
Then we get our first bit of elvish.
I'm Arwen, I'm here to help you

WHAT? what a stupid bit of cliche cheese for an introduction to elvish?
and the film lost all interest for me until they left rivendel.

[alatar]

Somebody must have thought that it would 'work,' as there's not a cell in the movie that's there at random. Could these scenes/words played well with the 'date' audience?

[mlwhipple]

Are there some cheesy moments. Sure. I think some of it is part of PJ's personality.

[Folwren]

Many Cheesy lines have been stated here and I will not rehash all of them. But there is one in particular that is neither well executed nor humorous...instead it is merely ... bad ... and that is Aragorn's attrocious line

Let's hunt some orc.

I shudder to think of it and sometimes leave the room before he utters it.

-- Folwren

P.S. I don't care if the script says it's "Let us", Viggo says "Let's" and even if he did say "Let us hunt some orc" it still be just a jolly bad!

[Groin Redbeard]

For me the cheesiest part of the movies was in the Two Towers when Eomer was questioning the three hunters. Eomer had just insulted Gimli when Legolas chimed in and said:

You would die for your stroke fell!

For some reason I think Legolas has the worst acting parts in the movies, and they try and make up for it with his fighting scenes.:p

[Nerwen]

Er... you do know that's a book line, don't you?

In the case of Orlando Bloom, some of what seems to be bad scripting is actually bad acting.

I do think the script's by far the weakest part of the films, though.

[A Little Green]

Oooh what about the cheddar-scene where Aragorn starts speaking Danish to Arwen? :D Something like "min älskling", I just crack every time...

And then, of course, there is dear Orli with his
"They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!"
Surprise, surprise. A Mr. Obvious line for real.

"I feel a faint tingling in my fingers, I think it's affecting me!"
Oh please.

[Galendor]

During the Council of Elrond, Legolas had more of the same cheesy pointless lines. Boromir makes the argument:

"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by evil that does not sleep, and the great Eye is ever watchful. The land is riddled with fire and ash, the very air you breath a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this, it is folly" (paraphrased).

Legolas's answer to this detailed and pertinent argument is to simply jump up and angrily cry out: "Have you heard nothing Elrond has said! We must take the ring to Mordor!!!"

Poor behavior for an elf.

[Groin Redbeard]

Er... you do know that's a book line, don't you?

In the case of Orlando Bloom, some of what seems to be bad scripting is actually bad acting.

I do think the script's by far the weakest part of the films, though.

No, I didn't know that it's a book line:(, and your right it is crummy acting on Bloom's part.

[Sauron the White]

This seems to echo very familiar refrain on this site.

"If the movie scene did not work its Jacksons fault for not being more faithful to the book.

What? You mean he filmed it the exact way it was written by JRRT himself?

Okay then... its the actors ... yes thats it ... is gotta be the actors ... thats it ... it was poorly acted."

Bottom line: it is never, ever, ever the fault of the book, anything in the book, the author of the book, or even anything suggested at in the book. Remember Rule #1. Its Jacksons fault. Rule #2 - its the fault of somebody else in Jacksons movies.

[alatar]

Bottom line: it is never, ever, ever the fault of the book, anything in the book, the author of the book, or even anything suggested at in the book.
Think that that's because, when reading the books, one 'fills in' what is left out, and even modifies to some extent what is presented. When Aragorn speaks in the books, I do not hear Viggo but the voice of an old friend (who played Aragorn in our version of the movie). ;) That version, had it ever been brought to fruition, would surely have had me banned from this site - even before the internet was invented - if not burned at a stake.

My imagine gets it (mostly) right in my mind, for me. Peter Jackson most likely thinks the same. He and I disagree; what of it?

StW, two notes: There exists the possibility that this site is exactly as you see it; filled to the brim with the anti-Jacksonites. If so, incorporate that obvious bit of data into your priors. In the future, then, to expect otherwise would like expecting to see this site start posting the weekly football scores. Also, having started rereading LotR yet again, I wonder if it would be helpful for you to think that, for some, this is a religious text, and anyone attempting to translate it can only open himself/herself to criticism from the true believers.

Please refer to footnote #2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ten_Commandments_(1956_film)#Footnotes) regarding criticism of the Cecil B. DeMille rendition of the "Ten Commandments." More recently, Mel Gibson's version of the "The Passion of the Christ" was criticized as well. That recent Narnia movie had its rotten tomatoes as well.

To me the pattern is that you'll always find someone that doesn't like everything about a movie, and those like me that love to be picayune. :p

[Nerwen]

This seems to echo very familiar refrain on this site.

"If the movie scene did not work its Jacksons fault for not being more faithful to the book.

What? You mean he filmed it the exact way it was written by JRRT himself?

Okay then... its the actors ... yes thats it ... is gotta be the actors ... thats it ... it was poorly acted."

Bottom line: it is never, ever, ever the fault of the book, anything in the book, the author of the book, or even anything suggested at in the book. Remember Rule #1. Its Jacksons fault. Rule #2 - its the fault of somebody else in Jacksons movies.

Excuse me, STW, I am not one of those who hate each and every aspect of the movies. Please don't put words into my mouth. In fact, I like the films overall, but I think they could have done with better scripting. On the other hand, some of the book dialogue had to be altered for the screen.

In this case, though, I happen to think it wasn't the fault of either the book or the screenplay, but of poor delivery by the actor. I've never seen Orlando Bloom turn in a good performance yet.

[Galendor]

Same here. I love to criticise the movies and Peter Jackson. I think the main reason for this though, is that he came so close to doing it right, and I think doing it right would have taken less work, not more. So it bothers me. Jackson should never, ever have intoduced basal humor into LOTR.

But don't get me wrong, overall I liked the movies and am glad they exist. The scenery and visuals were fantastic. Many of the characters/actors were superb, in my opinion. I loved movie Boromir, Aragorn, the hobbits, Eomer, and others, including Arwen, and I don't care if they differed in small ways from the books. "Ranger caught off his guard" doesn't bother me in the least, neither does "Give up the halfling, she-elf". But Legolas's lines were often bad, and Gimli was degraded. STW, I commend you for defending the movies, please don't stop.

[Sauron the White]

My post of yesterday was merely an effort to show the irony of the situation. This entire thread is to put on display the cheeze factor in the Jackson adaptions. So somebody criticizes lines of dialogue spoken in the films and it is pointed out to them that those lines are from the book. OOOOPS :o :o :o "Ya mean that Tolkien wrote cheezy lines? Could never happen."

Why does this occur here? Perhaps its the entire tone of the thread where people are expected - even encouraged and cheered on for taking easy potshots at the films displaying their prejudices and firm mindsets?

Regarding the performance by Bloom --- while it does not compare to more seasoned actors such as Holm, McKellan, Mortensen and others, it has its better moments throughout all three films. When you look at all the actors who portrayed Elves, it is onvious that they were asked to take on an air of distance and coldness as part of their personna. I do feel that people sometimes mistake that for poor acting on the part of Bloom or any other of the Elven actors.

[Bêthberry]

. When you look at all the actors who portrayed Elves, it is onvious that they were asked to take on an air of distance and coldness as part of their personna. I do feel that people sometimes mistake that for poor acting on the part of Bloom or any other of the Elven actors.

Problem is, Leonard Nimoy kinda nailed for all time the aloof and unemotional aspect of the pointy-eared crowd. Tolkien elves have the corner on ennui, though. Perhaps Mr. Greenjeans could have taken a cue from any number of French philosophes in order to provide a more nuanced performance?

[Macalaure]

When you look at all the actors who portrayed Elves, it is onvious that they were asked to take on an air of distance and coldness as part of their personna. I do feel that people sometimes mistake that for poor acting on the part of Bloom or any other of the Elven actors.I would disagree. Yes, it surely is more difficult to act a convincing distant and cold person (although I would claim that Elves, while certainly distant, aren't really supposed to be cold) than a convincing passionate person. One only has to take a look at the performances of Csokas (Celeborn) or Parker (Haldir) and compare them to Urban. All of them are "limited" actors, but Urban did far better with the passionate Éomer.
Yet, Weaving made quite a good Elrond and Blanchett a very good Galadriel, in my opinion. It's certainly not fair to compare Bloom to those, but if you just take Liv Tyler, I would say that she does a significantly better job on Arwen than Bloom on Legolas - and with less screen time.

Even though I have rarely participated in the threads you participated in, Sauron, I have read a lot of your posts. You have often claimed that a lot of the members of the Downs take the Books too seriously. I'm not even saying this isn't the case, but don't you think you sometimes make the same mistake and take the Films too seriously?

[Sauron the White]

Macalaure ... far be it from me to take issue with the movies, but I am not a big fan of the performance of Hugo Weaving as Elrond. I do not think he fit the part nor was his performance anything better than average. I cannot judge Martin Csokas since he was on screen so briefly and was asked to do little more than just stand there and look serious. Parker did a good job but certainy had a lot more to do it with. I agree that Tyler was also fairly good.

Yes, I am guilty of taking the films too seriously. You are right. However, I did build up thirty years of anticipation in waiting for them to hit the screen so that may explain things a bit.

[Groin Redbeard]

Macalaure ... far be it from me to take issue with the movies, but I am not a big fan of the performance of Hugo Weaving as Elrond. I do not think he fit the part nor was his performance anything better than average.

I'm afraid I would have to disagree with you on that issue. The only Elf playing character that I thought wasn't above average was Legolas, and even he wasn't that terrible (just a little cheesy;)).

[Thenamir]

Wow, late to the thread, as usual.

I have to disagree with whoever nominated Boromir's line "They have a cave troll." That line was in one of the preview teaser scenes the week before the movie premiered, and I have to say that, say what you will about the rest of Sean Bean's portrayal, that line was delivered perfectly, just the right sarcasm and rolling of the eyes. I thought it was absolutely hysterical, a great moment of comic relief before the intensity of the battle in Balin's crypt.

My most-peevish moment of cheesiness was Pippin trying to persuade Treebeard to take them toward Isengard rather than away from it. "The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm." And what's worse, Treebeard actually bought it! He's the oldest and perhaps the wisest creature in Middle-Earth, and he gets foisted by a tween-aged hobbit! ARGH!

[alatar]

My post of yesterday was merely an effort to show the irony of the situation. This entire thread is to put on display the cheeze factor in the Jackson adaptions. So somebody criticizes lines of dialogue spoken in the films and it is pointed out to them that those lines are from the book. OOOOPS "Ya mean that Tolkien wrote cheezy lines? Could never happen."
Guess that it depends on your definition of 'cheese' and whether you've lived and breathed the books for 30+ years or just know someone who's read them. But I understand completely.

Why does this occur here? Perhaps its the entire tone of the thread where people are expected - even encouraged and cheered on for taking easy potshots at the films displaying their prejudices and firm mindsets?
Er...isn't that the idea of this thread? To note cheesiness in the movies? Just a note: This post here (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=537182&postcount=58) (and the one preceding it) by a notable Bookite actually disses Tolkien and his work. :eek: So there is criticism of the books and author as well, it would seem. One, I assume, could start a cheesiness thread in the books and see what one nets, as, as StW has pointed out, some members have shown that Tolkien's own words can be thought of as cheesy.

When you look at all the actors who portrayed Elves, it is onvious that they were asked to take on an air of distance and coldness as part of their personna.
Or was it because they were mostly fashion model types? ;)

[Sauron the White]

Alatar... do you really think of Hugo Weaving and Craig Parker as fashion model types? Such a description may partially apply to some of the Elven women in the background who were there for eye candy but I do not feel it applies to the main Elven actors.

[Galendor]

I also really liked Boromir's line: "They have a cave troll." That was one of the most exciting moments for me in the films. Up to that point, we had not yet really seen Orcs or Trolls or such creatures. So when Boromir says that line, knowing from the books what was probably going to transpire next (fight at the door, mad dash to the bridge, Balrog!), it gave me a huge rush of excitement. Although perhaps not fully true to the book, Sean Bean was superb as Boromir and showed how a great actor can make a role. In my opinion, Viggo Mortensen was also a great Aragorn, but I already admired him from earlier very good performances in The Indian Runner, GI Jane (I liked it, what can I say?), and Carlitos Way.

But I thought the killing of the cave troll dragged on a bit too much, and got a little sad at the end with all the mournful bellowing after it got shot in the head, through the mouth, etc. I don't fully recall how the cave troll dies in the book, but if memory serves Frodo stabbed it in the foot with Sting.

[alatar]

Alatar... do you really think of Hugo Weaving and Craig Parker as fashion model types? Such a description may partially apply to some of the Elven women in the background who were there for eye candy but I do not feel it applies to the main Elven actors.
Agreed, though Weaving should have modeled his own line of sunglasses. ;)

[Nerwen]

Macalaure ... far be it from me to take issue with the movies, but I am not a big fan of the performance of Hugo Weaving as Elrond. I do not think he fit the part nor was his performance anything better than average.

I disagree, STW– I thought he was good (although he was basically playing a different character from the one in the book).

And I still don't think Orlando Bloom is much chop as an actor. Other people had cheezy lines and more-or-less got away with them.

On the other hand, he looked the part more than Weaving, who must be a contender for World's Ugliest Elf.

[Sauron the White]

Nerwen - two things about Weaving as Elrond that I was not enthralled with. The first was his appearance. I simply felt that he did not look anything like an Elf let alone someone so high and mighty. I will admit that I had no problem with him as Prologue Elrond in full battle gear and thought he looked great in that. It was the rest of it that just did not set well with me. And I have never liked how Weaving - as an actor in almost any role - delivers his lines. Its as if he was in some Cecil B. DeMille movie from the Forties and he is making pronoucements from the mountain top. His delivery of the line to Merry and Pippin at the Council about them not being able to stay away when they are not summoned is especially grating to my ears. In the prologue he is spared the delivery of any lengthy pronoucements.

In fact, I would say of all the twenty major actors in the film, I probably am least satisfied with Weaving and his performance.