Death of Crystal Heart

[Child of the 7th Age]

It is with great sadness that I pass along this notice, which was posted this afternoon in a Shire game that Crystal was playing in.

To whom it may concern:

The original Crystal Heart died today at approximately 12:10 a.m. Pacific Time due to complications from her diabetes. As her sister, I am writing to tell you all that she loved the RPGs on this website and spoke about them often. Especially this one as of late. I regret that I must inform you all of this horrible event. Our family is still in shock and ask you all for your prayers in the weeks and months to follow.

Sincerely,
Melissa

Crystal was a very active writer in the Shire. She joined the Barrowdowns just over a year ago. During that year, she played in Legacy of Traitors and was founder of the game Seekers of Truth. She posted to her current Shire game, Sailing Away, just a few days ago. I was involved with Crystal in two of these games and always appreciated her enthusiasm and dedication.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the family. She will certainly be missed.

If there are any others who wish to add their thoughts on this thread, please feel free to do so.

Child of the 7th Age, Shire Moderator

[piosenniel]

From Crystal's first post to The Green Dragon Inn . . .


Crystal Heart entered the Inn, hoping for a nice warm drink. Lately the winds had been too cold for her liking and brought memories of darker times in her past that she had been trying to forget. She entered and looked around, her heart fluttering wildly. She knew it was silly to still look for a face that had long since passed on, but she still looked . . .


Raising a pint in her honor -

♥ Here's to you Crystal Heart ♥

~*~ Pio http://forum.barrowdowns.com/ubb/icons/icon13.gif

[Kitanna]

"While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil." ~John Taylor

Our prayers go out to you Crystal Heart, where ever you are.

[Shelob]

Non omnis moriar.
I shall not altogether die.
~Horace (65-8BC)

No more shall she in death die,
Than any living shall forget.
For while we live and pause to cry,
While memories with smiles still are met,
For so long shall we never part
with you, in spirit, Crystal Heart.



My sorrows to you who have lost a friend, and more so to her family. Though I knew her not I shall add my prayers to yours, I can do no more and would do no less.

[Imladris]

I am so sorry....

:(

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

It has always been my hope that Tolkien has been busy thinking up new tales for us now that he has a bit more free time. Now I will image Crystal Heart sitting beside him, the first among us to enjoy their beauty.

My heart goes out to all of you who are friends and family. May God give you strength, and bring to you those in whom you might find comfort.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

My prayers for Crystal Heart's family and friends. May she be the first of us to truly know if Balrogs had wings.

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

My regards to her family...

Fea

[Bêthberry]

Goodness, when I first saw Child's thread name, I assumed this was a new Shire game, and popped in just to see who was signing up. I'm sure that Squatter in particular will be disappointed, as he declined her invitation to her game due to impending uni coursework load.

May she rest sweetly with shieldmaidens who have gone before her.

[Mithalwen]

Day is ended, dim my eyes,
but journey long before me lies.
Farewell, friends! I hear the call.
The ship's beside the stony wall.
Foam is white and waves are grey;
beyond the sunset leads my way.
Foam is salt, the wind is free;
I hear the rising of the Sea.

Farewell, friends! The sails are set,
the wind is east, the moorings fret.
Shadows long before me lie,
beneath the ever-bending sky,
but islands lie behind the Sun
that I shall raise ere all is done;
lands there are to west of West,
where night is quiet and sleep is rest.

Guided by the Lonely Star,
beyond the utmost harbour-bar,
I'll find the heavens fair and free,
and beaches of the Starlit Sea.
Ship, my ship! I seek the West,
and fields and mountains ever blest.
Farewell to Middle-earth at last.
I see the Star above my mast!


Namárië! Nai hiruvalyë Valimar.
Nail elyë hiryva. Namárië!

Tolkien finds better words than I ever could. Crystal Heart has taken ship suddenly and too soon, and left us all behind. To her family and friends, all I can say is "Grief is the price we pay for love" and you are in my thoughts.


"I am standing on the seashore and I see
a ship spread out her white sails and
start for the blue ocean. I watch her
until she is a speck of white clouds
where the sea and the water meet. I say,
"There—she's gone."

Gone where? Gone from my eyesight,
that's
all. Yet she is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as when she left my side—
And able to bear her cargo to her distant
harbor.

Her diminishing size is in me—not in her.
After I say, "There—she's gone". Others
are watching for her coming, and other
voices shout "There---she comes".
And that is dying - that is death. "

[Regin Hardhammer]

As a fellow shire gamer, I am deeply saddend by Crystal's departure. I would like to express my condolences to her family.

[Nurumaiel]

I am in the game Sailing Away, of which Crystal Heart was a part, and though I did not know her very well, I was fond of her as a fellow player, and a very dedicated, enthusiastic player. I am quite at a loss for words, but I pray that God bless her dear family, whose hearts must be going through so much agony, and that He will have a special place for her.

And may she look down with smiles upon her family, and upon her little friends here at the 'Downs.

Perhaps she went by the name 'Crystal Heart,' but her heart was indeed one of warm gold.

Dear Crystal Heart, to you I'll raise the parting glass;
good night, and joy be with you all...

[Elennar Starfire]

Strange how easy it is to weep for one you never knew.

[Encaitare]

The title of this forum is "Announcements and Obituaries," and although I'm sure the title was chosen facetiously, it's horribly sad that we should ever have to post a real one. :(

My deepest condolences to Crystal's family. I only knew her for a brief time, but she was a talented writer and a fun RPer.

Crystal, you are in my prayers. May you find peace.

...the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise...

[Rilwen Gamgee]

I never knew Crystal Heart, nor visited the RPG section often, yet I find tears still flowing down my face.

Fair Winds and Following Seas to her ship; and may flowers upon her grave never fade or wilt.

[Firefoot]

I had the pleasure of playing with Crystal in two RPG's. Both times I have admired her enthusiasm, dedication, and cooperation. She was a very fun person, and I will miss her greatly.

May you have peace, Crystal.

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil."

[Amanaduial the archer]

That's a terrible shock, and a terrible loss - Crystal was a truly excellent RPG player as well as being a really lovely person through PM and discussion threads. Our characters were quite closely assosiated in one game, Legacy of Traitors, and I was priveleged, therefore, to have quite close relations with Crystal during that time. I am proud to have played with her, and have great respect for her, and that respect still stands - she will always be remembered by everyone who played with her, I'm sure, and the Shire and Elvenhome are testimony to her excellent posts and lovely nature.

Crystal was bound and determined to teach each and everyone in this company that she was far more then just a woman. She was a fighter, a traveller, a challenger, a danger. She wanted them to know that Crystal Auror Heart was far more then they ever could predict. She was far more then anything they had ever encountered and would ever encounter again. She wanted each and everyone of them to walk away from this quest knowing that making allies with the likes of her was ensuring an ally with an army. She wanted to prove that she was better, quicker, and smarter then any man.
- Taken from post 81 in 'Legacy of Traitors' (Elvenhome)

She was describing her character here, but...

I am so, so sorry :(

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

I did not ever interact with Crystal Heart directly, although I was of course aware of her lively presence at the Downs -- in particular at the Green Dragon Inn where we both began our RPing at roughly the same time last year.

I post here then not to commemorate her, but to commend all of you who made her experiences at the Barrow Downs so meaningful a part of her life that she clearly made a careful and conscious effort to have her farewells made on her behalf. Her gesture does honour to you all, and is a blessing to the spirit of this unique community.

And reading what you've said about her, I deeply regret not having met with her myself.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

[Himaran]

I played in the last (and maybe the first) game that Crystal owned, "Seekers of the Truth." She was very passionate throughout the game, and did a great job leading us to a successful end. I am deeply saddened to hear of her departure; she seemed to love the Downs so...

--Himaran

[Boromir88]

I've only had the honor of Role Playing with Crystal once. She was a bright lady with a good sense of humor (I won't forget the laughs in the New Member's welcome thread).

[Ainaserkewen]

It's nice though, isn't it, that the records, memories, intelligence and imagination of her are always right here, where anyone can view. It's a nice way to be remembered, I think. Something so small as a game will hold her memory forever.

God Bless.

[Orofaniel]

Although I did not know Crystal personally, I'm saddened by this fellow BDer's departure. Friends, family and the BarrowDowners who knew her best have my sympathies.

She will be missed.

Orofaniel

[Lush]

"...Do not stand on my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die."

Condolences to Crystal's family and all those who were close to her.

[Evisse the Blue]

May she rest in peace. :( My condoleances to her family and friends.

It's touching to see how this forum means so much for people so that we get news like these from family members...if she had not been so attached to this forum, we would never have known.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

It feels strange that someone like Crystal is gone. Ever since I joined the downs, she was one of life's constants, always there to roleplay with or chat to. I like to think that I knew her, as I shared I think two games with her and frequently discussed an idea for a game involving both of us as co-founders. I guess that all I can say to the family is the South American phrase "Siento para su pérdida" or "I am Sorry for your loss".

Crystal was a fantastic roleplayer, her characters were very human and real. I am deeply sad that we have lost someone like her and I wish her family all strength in the world to help them cope.

Peace Out...

Hama

[burrahobbit]

This is the most hilarious thread ever.

[Child of the 7th Age]

In lieu of Crystal's most recent post on the Sailing Away discussion thread, I will be asking the admins to delete this thread after a few days. See here for Crystal's reappearance. (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=377439#post377439)

Sorry, Burra ...I'm not sure that "hilarious" is the word I'd use to describe this situation, although I am very glad to see Crystal's demise was prematurely reported.

For all those who added their good wishes, Crystal is apparently live and well, and has returned from surgery. Her sister put up the other post as a "joke".

Child

[burrahobbit]

That lieu is exactly why this is the most hilarious thing I've seen all day.

[Lindolirian]

Morrie had the fantastic idea to have a funeral while you were alive, so that you could actually hear and appreciate the wonderful things people had to say about you. While this was indeed a cruel joke, playing with the emotions of strangers around the world, many people here said some very nice things about Crystal Heart which probably never would have been said outright, and it must be very heart-warming to hear them all. Shoot, I wish I had a thread dedicated to saying nice things about me. ;) See? Even something as mean as a joke like that can turn out good. He that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined. Glad to to know you're really alive, Crystal.:)

[Child of the 7th Age]

Update -

This thread will remain intact for a few weeks to make sure everyone understands the original note was a joke and that Crystal is thankfully alive and well.

A side observation.... A good lesson to take away from all this is the need to show caution when dealing with the net and people you meet through the net. What appears to be true about an individual, what is said in the context of a website, may or may not be reality. When I first posted this thread, I had no idea anyone was playing a "joke". In this case, while guidelines on Shire rpgs were broken, no one was seriously inconvenienced or hurt so we have little to regret. No one should feel badly that they took time to post their feelings and greetings when they thought a family was hurting.

Still, there are situations where much more can be at stake. The friendships and contacts we make at the Downs and on other sites are indeed precious as long as we use common sense in how we approach net safety.

Child, Shire Moderator

[Lush]

Aww, and I went to all that trouble of putting a touching quotation up! Dammit!... I mean... It's good to have Crystal back in the world of the living (sort of. Since this is the Barrowdowns and everything).

I guess Mark Twain sums it up best:
"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

(I can only hope that everyone says nice things about me on here if I decide to kick the bucket ;) )

[Evisse the Blue]

I'm sorry, but I find this very funny...in fact, until I remember a better one, this certainly takes the cake for the funniest event I've had happen here on the Downs...Yes I have a weird sense of humour (like Crystal's sister, apparently :p ). And seeing that Mark Twain quote posted by Lush really made me crack up.

Crystal, you shouldn't have been so quick to sort this out, you should have allowed us to praise you a little longer. ;)

[mark12_30]

Both the possibility and the certainty of death can and should inspire us to more fully live life. Death is not so far off as we would all like to think. And sometimes when it knocks at our door-- even as a misunderstanding or as an ill-turned jest-- we can allow the thought of death to positively change and inspire us so that we live life more fully. We see this in LOTR, and find it quite inspiring when impending death inspires a character to great and courageous deeds:

‘Of course, it is likely enough, my friends,’ [Treebeard] said slowly, ‘likely enough that we are going to our doom: the last march of the Ents. But if we stayed at home and did nothing, doom would find us anyway, sooner or later.

‘My body is broken. I go to my fathers. And even in their mighty company I shall not now be ashamed. I felled the black serpent. A grim morn, and a glad day, and a golden sunset!’

Then suddenly he beheld his sister Éowyn as she lay, and he knew her. .... A fey mood took him.... Over the field rang his clear voice calling: ‘Death! Ride, ride to ruin and the world’s ending!’


‘So that was the job I felt I had to do when I started,’ thought Sam: ‘to help Mr. Frodo to the last step and then die with him? Well, if that is the job then I must do it.'

The essence of these quotes seems to me to be this: If my time is limited, then I should spend it aright, doing my duty, doing that which is good.

But whether short or long, our time is still limited; nor do we know when we will meet our end. Shall we not then spend each day as well, as nobly and as dutifully as if it were our last? If we do so, then at the end, we may look back and see that each day was truly well-spent.

[The Saucepan Man]

I'm sorry, but I find this very funny...I have a pretty broad sense of humour but I fail to see any humour in this situation. Indeed I personally find what has been done here to be cruel and callous. To make people think that someone is dead, particularly someone so young, and that their family is grieving not a nice thing to do and is not something either to feel proud of or to be encouraged. It upsets people unnecessarily and has the capacity to make people foolish for having believed it. Although, as far as I am concerned, there is no shame in having fallen for this silly trick. There are few who would not have done.

I wouldn't mind if this sham had at least been clever. But there is no skill in duping people into believing that someone is dead, particularly on the internet where no acting skills are required - simply a suitably worded message. You would have to be pretty hard-nosed and cynical not to have believed it. So where's the cleverness in that?

Ultimately, all it has done is caused unnecessary distress and gained Crystal Heart some praise. Whether it is deserved or not, I do not know. But, whether or not she is innocent in the affair, the circumstances in which this praise has been gained are hardly respectable.


A side observation.... A good lesson to take away from all this is the need to show caution when dealing with the net and people you meet through the net. What appears to be true about an individual, what is said in the context of a website, may or may not be reality.I would endorse Child's comments here. To my mind, this lesson is the only valuable thing that we can draw from this sorry affair.

[Nurumaiel]

I do think, regardless of whether the whole situation is looked up as funny or as a cruel joke, and whether we can throw back our heads and laugh or feel rather indignant that our hearts have been played with in such a callous fashion, the most important thing is that Crystal Heart is not dead. To say the least, it wasn't a very considerate thing of her sister to do, telling us that she was dead, but isn't it preferable that her sister do something so cruel, rather than actually have what she said be the truth? I know I'm much happier to know that it was a 'joke' and I made myself look rather silly by posting here with my condolences, than to have my words be appropriate for the situation and find Crystal Heart, in reality, dead. I prefer that her sister played such a 'joke,' rather than the rest of her family actually suffering because their young daughter was dead (though, naturally, I would have preferred that Crystal Heart never 'died' in the first place).

I feel indignant that such a cruel 'joke,' could be played, and I, like a few others, find absolutely no humour in that situation. I was deeply grieved at the news of Crystal's 'death,' and many here were better acquainted with her than I was. I can only imagine how they must have felt. I think it's stating it mildly to say that the joke was in very bad taste.

I can find something to laugh about in the fact that I made myself slightly foolish by posting my regrets, for it's either laugh about that or hide in a dark hole, cringing with embarrassment. As Mr. Saucepan said, it's not ridiculous of us to fall for it, but I feel slightly ridiculous all the same... and I choose to laugh at myself (though I cannot and will not laugh at the instance which gave me cause to laugh at myself).

But over all other feelings, I experience one of deep relief that Crystal isn't dead, and that we have her, and more importantly her family has her, for some time yet. And I think that is very proper.

[Imladris]

Glad to see that Crystal Heart is still alive. :)

However, Death should not be talked of flippantly. The "joke" was in very bad form.

[Amanaduial the archer]

Certainly, Nurumaiel, it is of course a good thing that she is alive. But it also a good thing you are alive; or the Barrow Wight; or myself (restrain all comments please). But do we really need every living member to post a regular update as to whether they are alive or not so that we appreciate their presence?

And a poor taste 'joke' indeed. I apologise for what you may view as a sense of humour failure in that I don't find this whole situation, but to that, well: psh!, I say sir, and psh! again. ;)

[Mithalwen]

I wan to second the comments of SpM and Nuramaiel and would add that I think this is a particularly nasty prank becasue whe do not know enough about each other to appreciate what pain such statements will cause, what chord may be struck unneccessarily. Given the number of members on this site there is a fairly high probability that someone has lot someone in similar circumstances to those described by CH's warped sister.

Yes it may seem ludicrous to eulogise someone you know only through their posts, but there is a sense in which the "wrongness" of someone dying very young touches everyone beyond the immediate sphere of family and friends, in the way that the death of someone who has lived a long and full life does not.

It makes you re-evaluate your own life and realise how much you take for granted. I know that hearing recently of the death of a friend's teenage sister from cancer, put the long-term but not terminal sickness of my own beloved god-daughter into perspective.

I am glad that CH has done a "Mark Twain" but I am not laughing. I think this was a really nasty thing to do on so many levels .

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Melissa...you have a terrible sense of humour, and frankly I find it distressing that you are willing to 'kill off' your ssiter simply because you do not want to play an RPG for her.

That said, it is good to know that Crystal is not dead, as has been troubling me in the run up to my mock A levels next week.

However much I want to believe this is true, that the whole thing was just a sick joke...there is the cynic inside me that says otherwise, but I will quash him for the sake of friendship with Crystal.

Good to have you...back...is back the word? 'Still' is better I think...

Hama

[Lhunardawen]

I might feel a little relieved at being not among those who posted their condolences in this thread, but I feel fooled nonetheless. Sure, I have never had an encounter with Crystal Heart even now, but the mere fact that we are both of this forum made me feel that we have some kind of connection; and it was this bond that drove me to sadness upon knowing about her "demise". It is never a good idea to toy with death, even just the idea of it.

[Lyta_Underhill]

Even though the initial exercise seems to have been an ill-conceived joke, and I don't even know Crystal Heart, I'm sure glad she's alive! :D I've seen this sort of occurrence in other message boards and mailing lists in the past, and it seems to be an integral part of human nature, unfortunately. It happens here and there with great regularity. It also reaffirms my notion that some humor is in extremely bad taste.

Cheers!
Lyta

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Ah, but Lyta, it is as good and evil: without evil to offset it, nobody would be able to see and appreciate good. With no dark, light would be taken for granted. And so it remains with jokes that are in bad taste... without them, those who disapprove would never see the true beauty of jokes that are in good taste. :D

Fea

[Lyta_Underhill]

Ah, but Lyta, it is as good and evil: without evil to offset it, nobody would be able to see and appreciate good. With no dark, light would be taken for granted. I forget the name of this doctrine, but it is out there somewhere! There are those who would argue to the death about whether evil is necessary to point up the good, Darkness necessary to point up the Light. But we all try to remember when all was dark and there was no fear in the darkness...somehow I can never get there, except for the fact that I require absolute darkness for getting to sleep...now where is this post going?

There is also a quality that is known to those who experience great evils--once one comes face to face with absolute or extreme evil, it is so much easier to see past masks and into the real Good and Evil, or at least my conceit would have it so. I'm sure my sight is imperfect, but it is an encouraging notion. Since this has little to do with the subject, I'll stop here!

Cheers!
Lyta

[Nimrodel_9]

I was almost in tears when I found out she was "dead." I'm so glad that it is not so. Some people have a sick sense humor... ;)

Mark12_30, your post was touching. :)

[burrahobbit]

It's true, some people do!

[Boromir88]

Reading through this thread again, and finding out this was all a prank, there are a few comments I would like to add.

First off to Melissa, I'm hopping on with the majority, what kind of person thinks it's funny to joke about someone's death, let a lone their own sisters? That's something you should be ashamed of, and I hope that as you grow up, you know not to make light of such things.

As for the other issue....why should we feel embarassed? What I have seen on this thread is the the caringness of the people on this forum. Even people who did not know Crystal as well as others posted their thoughts. We all make mistakes, surely the biggest mistake would be falling for it again (so I think we should all be careful of possible confrontations down the road). However, why should we feel embarassed, because we got fooled? An important point would be to learn from our mistakes, but don't be embarrassed because youhave a heart, and care for the general well being of others.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

"But it is the way of my people to use light words at such times and say less than they mean. We fear to say too much. It robs us of the right words when a jest is out of place."

As with hobbits, there are here some members of our community that do not do so well with difficult situations. Had Crystal Heart really died, people would have continually come forth, struggling with emotions and eloquency to offer the appropriate farewells and condolences. Since she is [thankfully] alive and well, there is no longer any need to struggle, and a few of us can say "Hey, thank God she's alive, but what is there to do now but look back and laugh?" What point can anyone here find in dwelling on the past? We can see this incidence as a cruel joke to constantly remember, or we can let it pass.

Fea

[The Barrow-Wight]

I see it as a bad joke and a misuse of an account, but I intend to let it pass, starting right now. Please join me in wishing this topic a (not so) fond farewell.