Assigned to Mordor Planning/Discussion Thread

[piosenniel]

This Discussion thread is being set up for the purposes of finalizing the game proposal for littlemanpoet’s game.

Only these people may post to this thread at present: (Any other posts will be deleted)

littlemanpoet – game manager


Celuien
Durelin
Encaitare
Feanor of the Peredhil
Kath
the guy who be short
the phantom


Bêthberry
Shire mods – piosenniel & Child of the 7th Age

~*~

For now please read the game proposal carefully & then PM littlemanpoet as he requests with your application and any questions.

~*~

[piosenniel]

Assigned to Mordor


Historical Background:

~*~

Please Note: All anachronisms (from here on out spelled "anakronisms" after the Greek) shall be rendered in italics.

~*~

It is Fourth Age 650. Gondor has become an empire both powerful and corrupt. It is bordered on the east by the farthest extents of the Iron Hills, Rhûn, and Mordor; on the south by an inexact boundary shy of Far Harad; on the north by Ered Mithrin; on the west by the Sea. The king on the throne is the heir of Elessar, but a mere shadow of his forebear.

It is said that in 450, two sorcerers, rumored to be centuries old, came from the east, and attracted to the height of glory of the Gondorian Empire, sought places of power and influence in the king's court. Not willing to share his power, the king refused their request, subtly made though it was. In their anger, they cast an ensorcelment upon the entire empire. The spell became known as the Anakronism Dweomer. Since then, as the two sorcerers warned, all kinds of hateful things from the future have found their way into the minds and speech of the inhabitants of the empire, such that these Anakronisms come to the lips of the unwary in everyday conversation. The king has laid down law that these things are not to be spoken. If anyone does, any citizen is empowered to accuse and bring the trespassers to justice. A minority of the citizenry have begun to complain (amongst themselves) that this law is being used by petty folk as a way to get rid of people they do not like. But there has been no groundswell of support for reform, since all the citizenry are afraid that if they speak up, they might be accused of speaking an Anakronism. The speakers of the Anakronisms are Assigned to Mordor. For in Mordor the Anakronisms are not only in the minds and speech of the people, but have taken shape and form. Most of the citizens of the empire keep silence. But enough speak the Anakronisms so that Mordor is constantly populated, and filling ever fuller. All kinds of hateful things can be found there, such as final exams; strange, hard, shiny monstrosities painted in garish colours (with orcs for brains) that race at breakneck speed down the flats of Mordor; worse yet, there is a bureaucracy the purpose of which is to (horrors!) improve the citizenry that has been Assigned to Mordor. Many other horrible Anakronisms have found there way there as well.

[piosenniel]

Basic Storyline:

A few characters (four to seven) have the chance to undergo a series of trials, tests, and challenges presented to them by the Anakronism Dweomer. They work together to overcome these obstacles.

[piosenniel]

The purpose of the story is: for the group of characters to successfully pass the Anakronism tests/challenges and so escape from Mordor.

This means we will know the story is over when: all the characters in the group make it out of Mordor with the blessing of the Grand Anakronist.

Starting Location: The sea of Nurn, in the Mordorian province of Nurnia.

Likely destination: Ithilien.

[piosenniel]

Timeframes:

This game takes place in the Fourth Age at around year 650.

The storyline itself or plot covers three days (although I'm willing to consider five, seven, or ten days).

This game requires a time commitment of three weeks from me, the game owner and from the major players (consideration for 5, 7, or 10 weeks is optional).

[piosenniel]

Characters needed:

Four to seven characters from any race among the free peoples of the Fourth Age, either gender -- ALL ROLES FILLED

~*~

Character types which would not belong: high elves; dunedain.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Player/Character List

littlemanpoet -- Anakron Istkon Vayor (The Grand Anakronist)
Feanor of the Peredhil -- Alumìne Umfuìl (aka: Alli)
Celuien -- Panakeia
Encaitare -- Wilhelmina Brochenbach
the guy who be short -- Fléin son of Fréin
Kath -- Sai Onara


Durelin -- Valde Delego --- 1st post needed
the phantom -- Mardil II --- 1st post needed

[piosenniel]

Dedicated Characters:

In general - any that have been "Assigned to Mordor" on the What do you Assign to Mordor (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=11894) thread found in the Novices and Newcomers forum (subject to approval by the Game Owner).

Barrowdowns members should submit their "proofs", listing all the ways they have been assigned to Mordor, as well as things they have assigned to Mordor.

[piosenniel]

First posts for the submitted character descriptions:

Must include an account of where the character comes from, and how they were assigned to Mordor, and should end with their inclusion in the crowd gathered as mentioned in the Owner's first post.

The first four to seven characters approved will play; others will have to wait for a later chance, if it develops.

[piosenniel]

The game owner will play The Grand Anakronist character.


littlemanpoet’s character

NAME: Anakron Istkon Vayor

AGE: 50

RACE: Umbarian

GENDER: male

WEAPONS : none other than the Anakron Staff

APPEARANCE: Tall, black robed, austere, high forehead, a black wide-brimmed hat, long white hair, narrow, beardless face. Holds the Anakron Staff, which is made of black metal, and bears the insignia of the Grand Anakronist, a stylized representation of a Siamese Cat.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Austere, authoritative, rhetorical expert, formal. Given the right circumstances, will break out into a doggerel chattering, dancing buffoon in vaudeville style (part of the Anakronism Dweomer).

HISTORY: Elempi of Umbar grew up as a model child in a wealthy (but not ruling) family, was trained from early as a scholar in history, language, and philosophy. He taught in the Academy of Umbar for twenty years until he was handpicked by the retiring Grand Anakronist to replace him. He was given the Anakron Staff, which creates nothing, but directs the latent effects of the Anakronism Dweomer, setting up the tests, tasks, and challenges the characters must pass, complete, and achieve in order to escape from Mordor.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


FIRST POST FOR THE GAME

A crowd had gathered in the early overcast morning in the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks, the major port on the Nurnien Sea, from which two great docks stretched into the waters of the sea. The people stood in eager anticipation, for from their number would be chosen that day a small group of people who would be given the chance to escape from Mordor ... on condition that they could pass the tests set by the Grand Anakronist .

The land of Mordor held only the memory of the Dark Lord who had once ruled there with a cruel, iron will. The cataclysm that had come hard upon the heels of the Ring's destruction had changed Udûn and the Plateau of Gorgoroth into a string of deep chasms. Roads snaked from chasm to chasm for the sake of the king, who's Assigned Prisoners worked the gravel pits of old Udûn and Gorgoroth, from which stone was quarried for the buildings and roads of the empire. Luckier ones worked in the grain fields and cattle farms of the Nurnien plains, or the fisheries of the sea. The least fortunate worked the mines of the mountains, where it was said nameless evil things still crawled.

At long last, flugel horns flaired, and out from Caer Pairadocks strode the personage they had all been waiting for. Every last member of the crowd strained their necks to catch a glimpse of the august figure in whose staff was held the mystery of the Anakronism Dweomer. His black, wide brimmed hat hid his features, and his black robe shrouded his lanky frame. He came to a stop at the centermost point of the platform. Behind him rose the pinnacles of the Caer; to one side spread the sea, to the other, the town and fields beyond. The man's name was Anakron Istkon Vayor. All knew him by sight. He surveyed the crowd, and addressed them in his austere manner.

"On this auspicious day, a lucky few of you shall be given the chance to overcome the Anakronism Dweomer, to escape from Mordor, and to receive the clemency of the king, may he live forever. As you know, the Anakronism Dweomer has rendered the empire, but especially Mordor, a land cursed with all manner of evils from a terrible future time. It is most distressing to know that a future age of Middle Earth will have fallen to such depths as to be filled with so many degradations as we have seen in this land; but such is the fate of Middle Earth.

"The lucky few shall be known as the Offending Party. Their task, should they choose to accept it, is to confront three/five/seven/ten anakronisms as tests to be passed, trials to endure, or challenges to be overcome ... or all three at once, depending upon the nature of the anakronism. Should the Offending Party succeed, they shall be free to go wherever they will in Middle Earth, perhaps even to Rohan, with the king's and moderators' blessings.

"And now to choose the Offending Party."

At this, Anakron raised the Anakronist Staff, which issued what sounded like a shrill meow followed by a feline hiss, and before the eyes of all gathered, a shiny, many-coloured box rose from the ground, accompanied by oohs and aahs from the crowd. When it had stopped rising, it stood as tall as Anakron himself, and seemed to look out at the crowd with its single, dark, square eye. It was an Anakronism Transaction Mechanism, otherwise known as ATM. Anakron spoke.

"I shall now insert the king's writ, which I hold in my hand, into the slot on the right, and out of the other to the left, will come the names of the Offending Party."

Anakron inserted the card. Runes appeared in white on the dark screen, in a language and lettering formerly unknown, and by some held to be worse than the Black Speech of the Orcs, but which had now become all too familiar in Mordor: Modern English. The screen said: Deposit, Withdrawal, or Transfer? Anakron pressed the button to the right of transfer. The screen produced new runes: Please wait while your transaction is processed. The crowd groaned as one with impatience; they had become familiar with ATMs during their tenure in Mordor. An "aah" went up from the crowd as a card came out of the left hand slot, accompanied by a new message on the screen: Please take the record of your transfer. Anakron took the slip from the slot, after which the screen's message changed to Thank you. Please come again. Anakron read off the names of the soon to be Offending Party: "Alumìn-E Umfuìl." The following transactions in turn produced the following names: "Panakeia of Harad; Fléin son of Fréin of the Ironfists; Wilhelmina Brochenbach; Mardil II; Sai Onara; Valde Delego".

[piosenniel]

Other information of special interest that the game owner includes for prospective players:


Inexhaustive List of Things Assigned to Mordor (to be augmented by the inclusions of the players)

Other information of special interest that you would like to include:
Inexhaustive List of Things Assigned to Mordor, to be augmented by the inclusions of the players.

ATMs
Bad Lawyers
Bureaucratic Orcs who Think They're Using Correct Grammar
Cat Litter
Cigarette Smokers (and their Litter)
Comic Sans Font
Dangling Prepositions
Dentists
Double Negatives
Early Classes
Easily Offended People
Final Exams
Food Poisoning
Fume and Stench
Ground Spitters
Guys Who Thing Pretty Girls are Always Stupid
Heavy Traffic
Inconsiderate Drivers
Loud cellphone (aka mobilephone) users
Mary-Sues
Mosquitoes
"My Bad"
Nightmares
Oversalted Popc orn
People Always in a Rush
People Who Say "It's Not Rocket Science"
Professorial Trolls who speak overwrought Jamesian English
Queue Cutters
Road Rage
Siamese Cats
Shrieking Early Birds
Snotty "Better Than Thous"
Small yapping dogs
Spat Out Chewing Gum Covering Pavement
Spreaders of Bad News
Stupid People
Ticks
Unfriendly Computers
Yankees Announcers

[piosenniel]

Character Description Form:


1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? – YES/NO - Which one?

2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in?

List them, please:

Please note you may play in only 2 (TWO) Shire games at one time. Exceptions to this may be made for this on a case by case basis by the Shire Moderators. (The Green Dragon Inn DOES NOT count as a game for this.)


3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon or The White Horse Inn – YES/NO

_______________________________________


For your character please include:

NAME:

AGE:

RACE:

GENDER:

WEAPONS (No magical, super-hero, mithril weapons. Just good solid Middle-earth weapons and armor only that is appropriate to the race of the character and the time period.):

APPEARANCE:

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: (No half-Elven characters. No mixed-type characters. No super-heroes. No assassins. No one all powerful, martial arts proficient, or having any magical traits. Just regular characters with normal abilities for their races only):

HISTORY:

__________________________________


First post:


This is a requirement for this game. Character Descriptions without a First Post attached will be sent back to the writer. They may be submitted again, once there is a First Post to go with them.

Please see lmp's previous recommendation for your character's first post.

[littlemanpoet]

Just registering my presence. I don't have anything to add just yet. I'm going to make a general announcement on the What do you Assign to Mordor thread regarding this rpg, and "take applications". We'll see how it goes.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'm also here. I'm getting together a list of all the ways I've been Assigned to create my character. I just had a fantastic idea. We'll see what comes of it.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Ideas of things to be found in the game, based on comments on the thread:

"Human tongues flopping around, finding the easiest way to say words." LMP

"A large party of female 'Downers hammering on the Black Gate pleading to be let in." ~Lal

Wingèd Balrogs with no Gandalf to fight them ~Form and LMP

Nerve-wracking phone calls and pretentious pronunciations. Eomer of the Rohirrim and the phantom. :D

Also, my "proofs":

The phantom assigned me for walking in the street instead of on sidewalks. Saucie assigned me for assigning minor irritations without second thought. Eomer assigned people in general. Lathriel's got me because I say "zee" to pronounce this letter: z. LMP sent me, whether he knew it or not, for pretentious pronunciation. TGWBS sent me as a Balrog Winger. Saucie sent me because I'm a teenager [one] that doesn't understand parental worry [two]. TORE sent the unsigned positive reps that (yes, I'm coming clean) I sent him. :D Gothmog's got me as an American. Mormegil's got me for complaining about not being able to find a pair of size 7 1/2 clogs. TORE's got me because of art projects involving negative space: if I'm not sent for having assigned them to students under my watch, I'm there trying to retrieve them. And Gothmog sent me for being an impossible-to-understand girl.

The things I've assigned (wow, I've been busy and disgruntled!):

Lima beans
Britney Spears
rumor-mongorers
deadlines
chapped lips
vomit
nurses that don't understand that asthma attacks are bad
guys who think that attractive girls are _____
computer viruses
spyware
REGENTS exams
all standardized tests
"nuc-ular"
Mice
People who look at me with a horrified look as they see the habit I've developed of dipping Troops' curly fries into chocolate ice cream.
And I'll send my own inability to turn down food-dares.
hot weather that makes me not want to eat.
when henna fades so it looks like you're dirty, instead of decorated
spider bites.
political correctness
sunburns
pretentious use of silent letters.
water that accidentally gets inhaled when you're messing around in the pool.
allergies and all of their varied symptoms
migraines
criticism about me instead of to me
Psychics.
college placement tests.
having to wait until LMP says so to watch that madly fun sounding RP unfold.
acute paranoia.
skinned knees.
Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones.
slivers.
stubbed toes.
people who pronounce it Ray-min noodles. It's Rah-men.
Multiple lynchings
medication tolerance
Level 81 in the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door.
nagging parents.
being too sick to flirt
business attire
canonicity
forgetting how to draw
New computers that won't let me pirate music.
idiotic Phys. Ed. teachers
work in a hundred degree greenhouse
hovering parents.
Axe-murderes
adults who think that moody teenagers are going to care about the difficulties of being a parent.
"You are judged by the company you keep."
people who think that a Straight Edge lifestyle means you've got a gang mentality
when my parents brag about me
paranoia of law enforcement officers.
procrastination
bad habits
text books that cost over a hundred bucks a piece and that they have no used versions of
Saturday morning classes.
Idiotic bees.
Collegiate insomnia.
college dorm parties
blisters
such a huge workload that one does not even know where to begin
Mac computers
I assign classes that I couldn't stand but that I still did really well in.
crystal clear memories you'd like not to have
telephones
SAVEs
all of the pop drinkers
there not being a single open washing machine
And interpretation besides the author’s
10th grade
computer-monitor induced headaches,
friends being sick,
Psych tests,
trying to decipher Shakespeare when there are so many fantastic distractions
not being able to find a shoe in your size
pushy extroverts
people that forget about the "grey area" in between what's black and white
pulled
inability to hold a standard

I'll have a character bio and first post some time soon. But as has been said... no rush.

[Bêthberry]

Dedicated Characters:

In general - any that have been "Assigned to Mordor" on the What do you Assign to Mordor (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=11894) thread found in the Novices and Newcomers forum (subject to approval by the Game Owner).

Barrowdowns members should submit their "proofs", listing all the ways they have been assigned to Mordor, as well as things they have assigned to Mordor.


Just to clarify this point: if a Barrow Downer has not himself or herself already been 'assigned' to Mordor by a fellow Downer, does that mean he or she cannot apply?

I love the the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks. Nurnia? :D

[littlemanpoet]

Just to clarify this point: if a Barrow Downer has not himself or herself already been 'assigned' to Mordor by a fellow Downer, does that mean he or she cannot apply?

I love the the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks. Nurnia? :D

That is correct. You need to assign something to Mordor, and find something that has already been assigned to Mordor. That, of course, forces you to read at least some of my thread (very selfish of me, I know :p). But do not let that intimidate you! So much has been assigned to Mordor over the last few months that something is bound to apply to you. And all you have to do is rant about something that you don't like on What Do You Assign to Mordor, using the proper form: "I assign to Mordor:_______" and there you go.

Edit: Just to clarify: you don't have to be assigned by name to Mordor on the What Do You Assign to Mordor; rather, if some attribute of which you are - ahem - "guilty" gets assigned, then you may consider yourself assigned. Hence, if you speak modern English, you have been assigned to Mordor, by default of being a member at BD.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Feanor of the Peredhil's character


NAME: Alumìne Umfuìl (though the ‘e’ is silent, her name is often pretentiously pronounced by others as “Ah-loom-IN-ee Um-FOY-ul” when it’s actually pronounced “Al-oo-MIN Um-FOY-l”. She calls herself Alli.)

AGE: 18

RACE: Human

GENDER: Female

WEAPONS (No magical, super-hero, mithril weapons. Just good solid Middle-earth weapons and armor only that is appropriate to the race of the character and the time period.): piercing tongue is just about it, though when she’s in Mordor, she learns to use paper as a weapon, cutting her enemies with the razor sharp edges. Also in Mordor, she carries several small bottles containing angry bees and mosquitoes to sic on people.

APPEARANCE: Alli is 5’7” and thin, having grown from 5’3” and less thin in a very short time span. She has not yet grown accustomed to her lengthened frame and often trips over her own feet, stubbing her toes painfully. Her walk is very suited to her, as a sort of mix between sauntering and shuffling. She is working tirelessly to regain the grace she once had. Her hair is black as night and she tends to wear it braided tightly and bound away from her face. Her delightfully piercing eyes are an interesting blend of colors that lazy people oft term “grey”, though they are mostly blue, containing flecks of gold, brown, and many other tones of that variety. She far prefers to wear casual clothing, but listens when her mother tells her that she must always dress appropriately for the circumstance.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Alumìne hates her name, but can’t for her own life convince people to either say it correctly or simply call her Alli, as she prefers. They insist on over-pronouncing the superfluous letter. She often mispronounces others’ names as retribution. Once they begin to call her Alli, she begins to say their names right. Alli’s strength is in her clever tongue: she needs little time to tease easily and can talk her way into or out of nearly anything. Most people laugh off her sarcasm, but it has been known to get her into spots of a bother with people who take things too seriously. When battling, she often resorts to tactics such as speaking in depth about whatever subject springs to mind to divert the attention of the enemy. In Gondor, she tries hard to limit her speech, but once in Mordor, she goes off onto whichever Anakronism springs to mind. Alli is very out-spoken and has interesting quirks that often annoy other people, or at least make her impossible for them to understand.

HISTORY: Alli was born in FA 632 to a moderately happy and very loving family living several miles outside of the city of Minas Tirith. She was the youngest of the children by many years, and her brothers and parents were very fond of her, though all but one of her siblings no longer lived at home. Terrified of the Anakronisms that had taken over the world and ensnared several family members already, the Umfuìl family kept their infant daughter hidden, afraid that her first word would be something hideous like “loyer” or “chav,” and that it would be uttered in the hearing of a stranger. As Alumìne grew to speak, her parents’ fears were proven well-founded. Her first words were “my bad”, uttered adorably from her cherubic lips. Her parents gasped. Her mother fell weeping into her father’s arms, as he shook with repressed emotion. Even Alli’s stubborn brother Enaichel, who had been sitting moodily in a corner for quite some time, was encouraged to action. He cried out, waving his “L” shaped walking stick, and took his beloved sister into his arms, looking into her glowing eyes with pity.

“We must never let her be heard until she learns not to speak these things.” He murmured, looking worriedly to his parents.

"Literary theory.” The baby gurgled. Her mother sobbed. With much regret, the family made the decision to keep Alumìne a secret until she was older. They could not bear for her to be taken from them.

As Alli grew into a child, she was educated at home in all manner of things. She learned her letters and she could think algebraically. She was most interested, however, in her government. She learned at a young age that the King of Gondor was not on par with his fathers of old. As she grew into a lovely teenager, she ignored her parents’ desires for her safety and became rather outspoken about her view on the politics of Gondor. By this time, she had learned not to speak when an Anakronism would invade her thoughts. Her family had moved into Minas Tirith, and Alli was loved by her neighbors as an enthusiastic, if a little odd, young woman, who never shirked her duties and was a joy to be with.

However Alli’s luck turned one cold morning when she was walking to the market to purchase milk for her family. She glimpsed a piece of parchment nailed to a door. The theses written thereon contained nearly one hundred points. She read each swiftly, becoming more and more dissatisfied with the King’s political agenda. “Even a Yankees announcer would make a better leader than him.” She muttered rebelliously and without thought. Suddenly she was seized from behind by a pair of large and angry looking guards. “She spoke an Anakronism.” one said. “She has assigned herself to Mordor.” agreed the other. Without further ado, Alumìne Umfuìl was transported to the most desolate part of Middle Earth. She never even got to say goodbye to her parents, annoying and preachy though they were, or even to watch Enaichel play his sports again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Feanor of the Peredhil's post


Alli stood moping in the back of the crowd gathered at Caer Pairadocks and glared moodily at all those who jostled her. It was not nearly late enough in the morning for this sort of thing, and the fact that she had been all but ordered to attend this... this... this ceremony, as it were... it boiled the blood in her veins. At least she wasn't at work, she thought with disgruntlement. The job of affixing wings to balrogs was a difficult one, trying to work in shadow, and the worst was, all balrog-wingers tended to get burned on a regular basis by the foolish beasts that refused to adopt the reality of the situation with grace. She grimaced at the raw blisters on her hands. They would heal quickly... if the mostly inept physicians that populated Mordor had one thing going for them, it was that they were excellent at treating burns. Suddenly the very flugellic sound of horns met Alli's ears.

It had to be horns, she thought. No hope for any creativity... She glared with renewed passion at the men that shoved past her to reach the front of the crowd. Suddenly there was a hush. An austere voice split the air like lightening, leaving the crowd tingling with anticipation. Even Alli perked up, morning though it was. A chance to get out of Mordor? she thought. An inconsiderate smoker lit up in front of her just as the wind decided to caress Alli's face. She forgot the ceremony as she choked, her eyes beginning to water. Gasping for breath, she was grabbed by a nearby nurse.

"On a scale of one to ten," the woman said, "how much does it hurt?"

Alli ignored her, stumbling her way through the crowd and away from the smoke that burned her lungs. Suddenly she realized that she was standing right beside a tall man, clad entirely in black. As she fell forward, catching herself just before she skinned her knees, the man turned to her with an aristocratic sneer. She gasped as she noticed the Anakronism Dweomer in his grasp. He turned from her, caring little for the antics of a girl barely into womanhood, and addressed the ATM before him. Alli whispered to the kindly looking old woman next to her.

"What are you in for?" she asked, curiously.

"Me? Well, my word. How that's any of your business, I'll never know." Alli looked incredulously at the easily offended woman and turned away from her, looking for an understanding face. She found one in the form of a very good looking young man. He seemed to be stifling laughter.

"Are you laughing at me?" she asked as the ATM took an absurdly long time to continue its processing.

"Sure I am. Are you going to get offended?" he responded. She looked at him in momentary shock and then laughed. "I'll bet you're wondering what this whole ceremony is for."

"How did you know!?" she gasped.

"I'm am a Seer... in the distant future, I will be called "psychic". I tried to explain my foresight and was put here by the King's writ. But this..." he gestured toward the crowd, the man... the ATM. "There's been news. A certain number of Assignees are being given a chance to leave Mordor."

"Wha-" she began, suddenly remembering the voice that had reached even over the bustling crowd. "Oh, yes... I heard that part. How are they chosen?"

He responded with an ironic smile. "The ATM. The ATM handles all transactions in these parts."

"I should have known."

Suddenly the crowd went silent as the proverbial grave. The ATM had spat out a piece of paper. Anakron took it with his abnormally long fingers and glanced at it for a moment.

"The first member of the Offending Party is..." he began. Alli recognized the look in his eye. It was the look that never failed to accompany a mis-pronunciation of her name. She hoped and prayed, and then, remembering that hoping for proper speech had never worked before, merely prayed. She could not bring herself to be excited... she simply murmered over and over the right way... He continued finally. "Alumin--" Don't say it! she thought annoyedly. The letter is superfluous. It's not supposed to go there! You don't need to say it! "Alumìn-E Umfuìl." he finished at last.

"Alli!" she cried, stepping forward. "My name is Alli. If you can't say Alumine Umfoil properly, just," she now paused between words for effect, "say," she paused again, "Alli." Suddenly it struck her properly. "Wait..." she murmered, incredulous. "I can go home? I can see Enaichel play his games again? I can tell my parents that now that I've had a real job, I actually appreciate how well I had it before?"

Anakron looked at her with disdain. "If the ATM says it is true, then it is." He turned from her with a cold swish of his cloak as another name was expelled from the machine.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10/29 Note: Set up for easy transfer to the RPG Thread ~*~ Pio

[littlemanpoet]

Just in case you missed my edit regarding being assigned to Mordor: you don't have to be assigned by name to Mordor on the What Do You Assign to Mordor thread; rather, if some attribute of which you are - ahem - "guilty" gets assigned, then you may consider yourself assigned. Hence, if you speak modern English, you have been assigned to Mordor, by default of being a member at BD.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Also, don't forget that people in general (Eomer) and teenagers (Saucie)... as well as I think parents... have been assigned. So pretty much, if you've ever been a teenager, a parent, or a person (I think that pretty well covers everyone ;)), you're welcome to submit.

[littlemanpoet]

Also, don't forget that people in general (Eomer) and teenagers (Saucie)... as well as I think parents... have been assigned. So pretty much, if you've ever been a teenager, a parent, or a person (I think that pretty well covers everyone ;)), you're welcome to submit.

Well, yeah. But for a really creative experience, it's best to read through what's assinged; take Feanor's first post, for example.

Oh, and I hope to see spoof on other fantasy as well, such as what I tried to do with C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia; attempted to be done well, of course.

[piosenniel]

From the "What do you assign to Mordor" thread in Novices and Newcomers:

littlemanpoet posted this:

The Assigned To Mordor (ATM for short) rpg is now in the planning phase. If you are interested, check [the planning thread] out.

If you want to "apply", so to speak, look through this thread and make a list of all the ways you've been "assigned to Mordor", and also make a list of all the things you've assigned to Mordor. Pick from these two lists what you want to have be part of your story. For more information, I direct you to the thread listed above. Hope to see you there!

Send a PM to me with your "application". First 4 to 7 approved, and we begin.


For now please continue PM littlemanpoet as he requests with your application and any questions.

Once you and he have discussed your submission, then he will put your name on this thread and you can then post here.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For any interested players new to gaming in the Shire

Please note that in order to play in this game, you will need to have read the rules for posting in the Shire (The Red Book of Westmarch sticky topic in the Shire forum) and you will need to make at least one post in The Green Dragon Inn if you've not done so already - or have been a poster in The White Horse Inn in Rohan.

Also - once you have discussed your character idea with littlemanpoet, you will need to start working it up using the Character Description form found on post #11 of this thread. That's the form in which you will eventually submit it to this thread.


Thanks!

~*~ Pio

[littlemanpoet]

This is my most humble application for the ATM RPG. Here's hoping that the slots haven't all been filled already.

Things I assigned:

Ads for phony health care products
Drug company ads
Weight loss/exercise machine ads
Rap
Telemarketers
Bad translations
Warranties that expire too soon
Computer programs that can’t be uninstalled
Flight (travel) delays
28 hour shifts

How I’ve been assigned:

Speeding
Cell phone use
Watching reality TV shows
Dialect/annoying accent (My Philly background is pretty obvious when I speak, although it's far more on the accent side than poor grammar or non-standard words.)
And some of the same as Fea's:
People in general
"Zee"
Balrogs have wings
American
Impossible to understand girl

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for joining, Celuien! ATM would not feel right without you.

We still need a first post from you.

-----

EDIT: 10/30 Character Bio placed with post below ~*~ Pio

[piosenniel]

Celuien

Welcome aboard this fine game! & to the Shire.

I've put your name on the list of posters for the thread - so, please post your First Post for the game here. No need to pm it to lmp.

~*~ Pio, game moderator

[littlemanpoet]

ALL ORIGINALLY POSTED HERE TRANSFERRED TO PROPOSAL ABOVE. LEAVING BIO AND POST HERE IN CASE YOU WANT TO MAKE AND CHANGES.

Let me know in a separate post to the thread if you have done an edit here.

Thanks! ~*~ Pio

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


littlemanpoet's character

The game owner will play The Grand Anakronist character.

Character Description Form for owner’s character:

NAME: Anakron Istkon Vayor

AGE: 50

RACE: Umbarian

GENDER: male

WEAPONS : none other than the Anakron Staff

APPEARANCE: Tall, black robed, austere, high forehead, a black wide-brimmed hat, long white hair, narrow, beardless face. Holds the Anakron Staff, which is made of black metal, and bears the insignia of the Grand Anakronist, a stylized representation of a Siamese Cat.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Austere, authoritative, rhetorical expert, formal. Given the right circumstances, will break out into a doggerel chattering, dancing buffoon in vaudeville style (part of the Anakronism Dweomer).

HISTORY: Elempi of Umbar grew up as a model child in a wealthy (but not ruling) family, was trained from early as a scholar in history, language, and philosophy. He taught in the Academy of Umbar for twenty years until he was handpicked by the retiring Grand Anakronist to replace him. He was given the Anakron Staff, which creates nothing, but directs the latent effects of the Anakronism Dweomer, setting up the tests, tasks, and challenges the characters must pass, complete, and achieve in order to escape from Mordor.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


FIRST POST FOR THE GAME

A crowd had gathered in the early overcast morning in the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks, the major port on the Nurnien Sea, from which two great docks stretched into the waters of the sea. The people stood in eager anticipation, for from their number would be chosen that day a small group of people who would be given the chance to escape from Mordor ... on condition that they could pass the tests set by the Grand Anakronist .

The land of Mordor held only the memory of the Dark Lord who had once ruled there with a cruel, iron will. The cataclysm that had come hard upon the heels of the Ring's destruction had changed Udûn and the Plateau of Gorgoroth into a string of deep chasms. Roads snaked from chasm to chasm for the sake of the king, who's Assigned Prisoners worked the gravel pits of old Udûn and Gorgoroth, from which stone was quarried for the buildings and roads of the empire. Luckier ones worked in the grain fields and cattle farms of the Nurnien plains, or the fisheries of the sea. The least fortunate worked the mines of the mountains, where it was said nameless evil things still crawled.

At long last, flugel horns flaired, and out from Caer Pairadocks strode the personage they had all been waiting for. Every last member of the crowd strained their necks to catch a glimpse of the august figure in whose staff was held the mystery of the Anakronism Dweomer. His black, wide brimmed hat hid his features, and his black robe shrouded his lanky frame. He came to a stop at the centermost point of the platform. Behind him rose the pinnacles of the Caer; to one side spread the sea, to the other, the town and fields beyond. The man's name was Anakron Istkon Vayor. All knew him by sight. He surveyed the crowd, and addressed them in his austere manner.

"On this auspicious day, a lucky few of you shall be given the chance to overcome the Anakronism Dweomer, to escape from Mordor, and to receive the clemency of the king, may he live forever. As you know, the Anakronism Dweomer has rendered the empire, but especially Mordor, a land cursed with all manner of evils from a terrible future time. It is most distressing to know that a future age of Middle Earth will have fallen to such depths as to be filled with so many degradations as we have seen in this land; but such is the fate of Middle Earth.

"The lucky few shall be known as the Offending Party. Their task, should they choose to accept it, is to confront three/five/seven/ten anakronisms as tests to be passed, trials to endure, or challenges to be overcome ... or all three at once, depending upon the nature of the anakronism. Should the Offending Party succeed, they shall be free to go wherever they will in Middle Earth, perhaps even to Rohan, with the king's and moderators' blessings.

"And now to choose the Offending Party."

At this, Anakron raised the Anakronist Staff, which issued what sounded like a shrill meow followed by a feline hiss, and before the eyes of all gathered, a shiny, many-coloured box rose from the ground, accompanied by oohs and aahs from the crowd. When it had stopped rising, it stood as tall as Anakron himself, and seemed to look out at the crowd with its single, dark, square eye. It was an Anakronism Transaction Mechanism, otherwise known as ATM. Anakron spoke.

"I shall now insert the king's writ, which I hold in my hand, into the slot on the right, and out of the other to the left, will come the names of the Offending Party."

Anakron inserted the card. Runes appeared in white on the dark screen, in a language and lettering formerly unknown, and by some held to be worse than the Black Speech of the Orcs, but which had now become all too familiar in Mordor: Modern English. The screen said: Deposit, Withdrawal, or Transfer? Anakron pressed the button to the right of transfer. The screen produced new runes: Please wait while your transaction is processed. The crowd groaned as one with impatience; they had become familiar with ATMs during their tenure in Mordor. An "aah" went up from the crowd as a card came out of the left hand slot, accompanied by a new message on the screen: Please take the record of your transfer. Anakron took the slip from the slot, after which the screen's message changed to Thank you. Please come again. Anakron read off the names of the soon to be Offending Party: "Alumìn-E Umfuìl." The following transactions in turn produced the following names: "Panakeia of Harad;" ______________.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Celuien]

Thanks! I'm delighted to be here.

NOTE: Edit by Pio 10/30 -- I placed your Character Bio here with your First Post.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Character Description Form:


1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? – Not sure if this counts, but YES, Bethberry’s Unforbidden open invitational
2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in? none
3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon or The White Horse Inn – NO, working on a post for the Green Dragon now.

____________________


Celuien’s character


NAME: Panakeia

AGE: 49

RACE: human

GENDER: female

WEAPONS: Just a smooth talking sales pitch and the ability to be persuasive. If pressed, she can modulate her voice into a shrill, high-pitched whine causing those with sensitive hearing to step back in horror. The more toxic contents of her product case (described below) could also double as weaponry if needed.

APPEARANCE: Panakeia is of average height and has long blonde hair of questionable origin. It is rumored that her tresses were a dull, mousy brown shade until she used a bottle of Pearie Ockcide Potion, although she vehemently denies this charge. She tends to be over-dressed and prefers a palette of bright oranges, greens and purple that borders on garishness. She always wears at least three substantial gold necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and has a minimum of two rings on each finger. She has dark blue eyes, but insists that they are “violet.” Panakeia is concerned with her approaching 50th birthday, and will admit to no more than 29 years in Middle-earth. She carries a large lime green bag with her at all times, emblazoned with the phrase “Panakeia’s Cure-Alls” and the picture of a fountain surrounded by smiling, cheerful picnickers. This satchel contains her line of products, since as she says, “You never know when you’ll have a chance to make a sale.”

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Ahem. Vanity. Big time. Pushiness. Being loud and obnoxious. Greed.

HISTORY: Panakeia was born to a poor family from the borders of Harad upon whom the curse of the Anakronism Dweomer sat heavily, like a lump of gravy on a slice of day-old turkey. Fortunately for them, this particular corner of Middle-earth was far from the ears and eyes of those who enforced the Laws of Gondor which outlawed the use of Anakronisms (or any laws at all, for that matter), so it made little difference to the young Panakeia, who grew up discussing Britney Spears and marketing tactics with her two siblings as if such terms were completely normal for Middle-earth in the Fourth Age.

By Panakeia’s 10th birthday, her family’s fortunes mysteriously changed and they found themselves in possession of a large estate. She grew into a surprisingly attractive young woman with high principles, and by 18 she was the belle of the Harad area. It was also about this time that she discovered the reason for her family’s rags-to-riches story: in a locked attic, Panakeia stumbled on a box of pamphlets advertising cheap garden spot lots. Unfortunately, a quick glance at the map included with the ads would have told anyone who had even a passing acquaintance with geography that the so-called garden spot was located smack in the middle of the Dead Marshes. Worse yet, there was evidence for many other schemes run by her family over the years. Panakeia was horrified and vowed never to join the family business, insisting that there was no offer that they could possibly make her that she would not be able to refuse.

But Fate was working against Panakeia. Shortly afterwards, retribution came upon her family in the form of disgruntled investors from the land scheme. These investors burned her home to the ground, forcing her to flee into the wilderness. In the confusion, she became separated from her relatives, none of whom she would see again. Poor Panakeia wandered in the wild for days, lost and starving. Finally, she located an old potato field, clawed a raw tuber from the earth with her fingernails and devoured it. With a cry to the setting sun of “I’ll never be hungry again,” Panakeia decided to wreak her revenge on those who had ended her fairy-tale existence by restarting her family’s old schemes. After all, if people were foolish enough to fall for her scams, they deserved whatever came to them, didn’t they? She then headed out on the road, selling various health and beauty potions of dubious quality from a roadside stand. Over the years, she became accustomed to her lifestyle and completely forgot her early idealism.

In time, her travels took her to the heart of Gondor itself. Unaware of (or perhaps indifferent to) the banning of Anakronisms, she set up her stand on the road to Minas Tirith and called out “Panakeia’s Beauty Cream! Guaranteed to give you J Lo’s youthful glow, or your money back!” She only had time to make two sales before being whisked off to Mordor by the Anakronism Police.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Celuien's post

Near the back of the crowd gathered on Caer Pairadocks, a small disturbance was growing around Panakeia of Harad, Seller of Health and Beauty Products. Her shrill voice rang out over the crowd “Wrinkle-Away Skin Firming Solution! Take ten years off your face instantly! Only two silver pennies. Two silver pennies! Step right up.” A few purchasers hurried up to her stand, but a pair of stern guards swiftly chased them off. There would be no selling on Caer Pairadocks today. At least, not without a properly sanctioned license, sealed in triplicate with official red tape.

Panakeia glared at the officials, a look of annoyance on her face. Coming here was such a misuse of valuable time. There was work to be done, and now she couldn’t even take advantage of the presence of the many assembled Mordor assignees to hawk her wares. But the day hadn’t been a total waste. A smile flitted over Panakeia’s lips as she thought of the Westron to Black Speech dictionaries she managed to sell on the journey to the meeting. Ordinarily, she would never have thought of selling something so far out of her usual line, but being factory rejects for gross mistranslations, she had picked them up for a pittance. And with all of the new people sent to Mordor recently, there had been a large demand for dictionaries in the Black Speech. She made a tidy profit from that transaction, but she hoped that no one would have the opportunity to use the dictionaries until she was safely on her way back to her own hut.

Panakeia closed up her product case and headed over to a bench to sit down. Her feet were killing her. Several people near Panakeia ostentatiously shielded their eyes as she walked past. She was wearing her trademark tangerine and chartreuse robes with plentiful gold jewelry. Panakeia noted the gesture and swept past in her grandest fashion, clinking her bracelets as she strode along. A titter rose in her wake.

“Idiots! Simpletons!” she thought. These people who laughed at her were the same ones she knew would flock to her stand the instant she was able to open for business. She would show them all, selling them potions and poultices as ineffectual as a posted speed limit. But even though she knew the Wrinkle-Away Skin Firming Solution, like most of her other creams, was nothing more than a variation on sawdust mixed with potato starch and a bit of beet juice (just for color), as her 50th birthday approached, Panakeia had started to use the creams too. Despite flattering herself that she really did look the 29 year old she claimed to be, deep down she knew that this was not the truth. Was she really all that different from the customers she despised in her despairing struggle to hold on to her vanishing (some would say vanished) youth?

Fortunately for her composure, Panakeia’s introspective mood vanished as quickly as it had arrived. She turned her attention to the proceedings at hand. She had only been giving half of her attention to Anakron’s grand speeches, and his use of the ATM barely registered on her mind. She tapped her high-heeled foot impatiently. Would this day ever end?

“Alumìn-E Umfuìl,” droned Anakron’s voice. Panakeia watched in amusement as the young girl stepped up to the ATM and corrected The Grand Anakronist’s pronunciation of her name. Then she sighed. It was always the young, pretty ones who were chosen. Panakeia kicked a stray pebble aside. Why would she want to leave anyway? Business was good in Mordor. “There’s a sucker born every minute, and it seems that they’ve all been sent here,” she mused. But somehow, a yearning for freedom to wander Middle-earth was growing in Panakeia’s mind, despite the favorable sales prospects she had found since arriving.

The ATM whirred again. Anakron announced the next name. “Panakeia of Harad.”

Panakeia blinked in astonishment. Here was her chance to leave! At the thought of freedom, the vision of a new sales empire reaching from Harad to the Grey Havens danced in her head. Quickly recovering her usual brashness, she strode up to the ATM and stood beside Alumìne Umfuìl. “Here, Anakron. Glad to see you’ve come to your senses at last and decided to let some of us out of here. All of this fuss and bother over Anakronisms was nonsense in the first place. When’s the first flight out of here?”

Anakron shook his head at the Anakronism in Panakeia’s speech. Without a word, he returned to the ATM screen to select the next member of the Offending Party.

[littlemanpoet]

Great first post, Celuien.

I hadn't considered the possibility that any Mordor assignee would actually get to do what they wanted, such as sell useless wears, but I guess that was just outside the scope of my imagination. I think it should work fine; after all, the bureacracy is so far behind in all of it's red tape that it probably hadn't gotten to Panakeia yet!

[Celuien]

Great first post, Celuien.

I hadn't considered the possibility that any Mordor assignee would actually get to do what they wanted, such as sell useless wears, but I guess that was just outside the scope of my imagination. I think it should work fine; after all, the bureacracy is so far behind in all of it's red tape that it probably hadn't gotten to Panakeia yet!

Thanks! I'm glad the concept works in the story. It made sense to me to have Panakeia sell Mordor assigned merchandise since that was her business in the first place. :D

I guess the slowly turning wheels of bureaucratic machinery haven't quite come around to giving Panakeia her comeuppance for operating without a proper license, but there's always the possibility that they will...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I guess the slowly turning wheels of bureaucratic machinery haven't quite come around to giving Panakeia her comeuppance for operating without a proper license, but there's always the possibility that they will...
Oh heavens no... not beureaucratic machinery! *shivers happily* I like it.

[littlemanpoet]

I guess the slowly turning wheels of bureaucratic machinery haven't quite come around to giving Panakeia her comeuppance for operating without a proper license, but there's always the possibility that they will...
Ah, but there's a short-cut in your case, having become a member of the Offending Party.

*LMP rubs hands relishing his evil plans*

[piosenniel]

Durelin has expressed an interest in joining this game. I've put her name on the list of posters for this thread.

She'll be introducing herself . . . shortly.

~*~ Pio

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Excellent. Welcome, Durelin! Can't wait to see what fun you devise.

[Durelin]

*coughs* Shortly, yes...erm... *coughs*

Well, I am guilty for not having ever posted to your lovely thread, though I have certainly gained amusement from it. I just found that people assigned most of what I would have assigned myself. And thus, I have naught left but a confession.

And it follows thusly...

I do so bitterly and unenthusiastically admit that I am a helplessly fallible human soul, guilty as sin to the following things/being related to the following things, and thus have been assigned time and time again to Mordor, which albeit is supposed a condemnation and is certainly where all the cheap hotels are during any time of year, is actually not half bad:

Hypocrites (when one argument doesn't work, I use another...just so I stay sounding 'smart')
Siamese Cats/All cats (I love them dearly…)
People who try and speak in Old English but can’t (only sometimes, okay...besides, no one's ever told me I can't)
Users of non-standard words (depends on the day, but I try...)
Nightmares (*coughs*...maybe a bit too full of myself and my ghastly demeanor today?)
American Spelling (usually I am more accustomed to grey, but sometimes I slip up)
British Spelling (you remember how 'hypocrites' were first on my list...?)
People who are constantly worried about offending people (I say sorry a lot...believe it or not... I think most people I've RPed with know that pretty well ;) )
Cold viruses (I'm a constant sniffler...and I'm pretty sure I carry some sort of virus in me pretty much all the time that's just waiting for me to sneeze on someone...)
Dangling prepositions (I can never avoid them, even though I know every time I write a sentence with a preposition at the end I am doing a great evil...)
Yoda speak (Is too cute for words, Yoda is...)
The improper switching of "your" and "you're" (I deplore this, but do it often when I am typing much to quickly...)
Black licorice haters (*makes nasty face #27*)
Red food coloring (It's a must in certain Christmas cookies)
Lack of Quenya (I promised I would learn! But alas...)
Off topic posts
Boredom (I've been known to regularly give it hugs...)
Rabbits (I always say hello to them when I see them...)
Acute paranoia (Sometimes...)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Gene Wilder version (Love that movie...)
Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones (What about women who do...?)
Offspring who don't fully understand the difficulties of being a parent (I'm a 16 year old...)
Captain of Despair (because I'd be going after him)
Procrastination (It's the only way to get things done...)
Bad habits (I have many...)
Going to bed when it's light out (I do it to take a nap so I can stay up when it's dark out)
Collegiate insomnia (Related to the previous...I already do it, and I'm still in high school)
Being introverted

And I hope that is a long enough list...with sufficient proof that I know, at least to some extent, what I am doing... ;)

And finally...I have a character idea, and if you don't mind, I'd like to PM you about it, lmp. *stretches hands in anticipation of more typing* :D

-Durelin

P.S. - I think I should assign the overuse of ellipses (the punctuation kind) to Mordor...

[littlemanpoet]

I've read your PM and your post, Durelin, and eagerly await your character descrip and first post. Cool! Making my very happy! Eager eager eager! :D:D

(can you tell I'm glad you're in?) :p

[littlemanpoet]

These ideas will get further development, but I thought I'd give you an appetizer of what's ahead.

The Bureaucracy

This will feature hairsplitting bureacratic orcs who think they speak good English. Everybody's papers will be checked and rechecked. Orcs will, of course, say things like "nuculer", and "myself and _______", and will get easily offended causing the paper trail and red tape to take that much longer, government trying to improve people, queue cutters,
et cetera


The Road

Gridlock, road rage, flat tires, PT Cruisers, people are transformed into orcs merely by sitting behind the wheel, tailgaters, mobile/cellphone wielding orc-drivers, bad weather, fume and stench, heavy traffic, rising gas prices,
people always in a rush,
et cetera

The Town

Dogs wearing dog clothes and relieving themselves wherever, litter, cigarette smokers, cigarette butts, spit on the sidewalk, spitters, guys who proposition random girls, people who are easily offended, bad weather, chewing gum spat out & covering pavement, drivers who ignore pedestrians, fume and stench, guys who think pretty girls are always dumb, people always in a rush, the list is endless.....

The Hospital & Dentistry

Know nothing Mary Sue nurses, bureaucratic emergency rooms (with orc clerks), dentists, dogs who excrete wherever they like, et cetera

The University of Mordor

pretentious troll professors who speak Jamesian English, alarm clocks, early classes, frat parties, guys who think pretty girls are always dumb, people who say 'it's not rocket science',
final exams, and more.

Oh, and each test will have a deadline.

[Celuien]

Welcome to Mordor, Durelin! :)

The terrors ahead look...delightful, lmp.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Will we have no official battles, LMP? I'd rather fancied the concept of the group getting caught up in an all out war between teenagers and parents, with strife amongst the group (go tension!) as a result to be dealt with. Perhaps an obligatory bit of deus ex machina to get the group back on with the journey... obviously not eagles, but perhaps... skwerls. Telling them that if they don't get back on task, they'll be forced to remain in Mordor. Or something equally fun. :D

Thoughts?

[littlemanpoet]

Your responses are the reason I posted up. I want a cross pollination of ideas BEFORE we get started with the actual game. I'm sure you guys can think up plenty of stuff to improve upon, or replace my half baked ideas. :p

How about a parents versus teens street battle outside the University of Mordor? And don't worry, just because it's called a university doesn't mean teens can't go. It's the bureaucratic hub for all so-called education in Mordor.

And with all the various furry critters that have been assigned to Mordor, we have plenty of deus ex machina possibilities to choose from.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

How about a parents versus teens street battle outside the University of Mordor? And don't worry, just because it's called a university doesn't mean teens can't go. It's the bureaucratic hub for all so-called education in Mordor.
Sounds great.

And with all the various furry critters that have been assigned to Mordor, we have plenty of deus ex machina possibilities to choose from.
And just to make sure...

[littlemanpoet]

We have our fourth player, Encaitare. Cool!

Our fifth player has yet to provide the lists and information, but has promised them to me soon. This player is the phantom. Kickin'!

Here are her two lists. Character descrip and first post are forthcoming. Pio, please add Enca and the phantom to the list of persons who can post here. Thanks!

Greetings! I'd like to play in this game; here are my lists:

Things I have assigned:
- AP exams
- empty tubes of chapstick
- the chapstick company, which thinks it can sell a tube of solidified petroleum jelly for about $1.50
- door-to-door salespeople
- every author who wrote some depressing allegory or other kind of fiction about the dangers of communism/fascism/socialism/totalitarianism/other bad isms
- people who spit on the ground for no apparent reason
- cigarettes
- computers that randomly decide to rebel against you and break when they were working just fine a minute before.
- summer reading books
- standardized tests
- news reports, when they interview someone but only provide a snippet of what they're saying.
- Adware, and pop-up ads, and all those nasty things that don't belong on my computer
- mispronunciations, especially those of the name "Bach"
- misused homophones
- unnecessary plot points
- the concept that doing things like college applications is more important than wreaking Orkish havoc in an RPG. I also assign the concept that attempting to accomplish said Orkish havoc is "doing nothing".
- The blisters that come from wearing huge boots... and bus drills in gym class where they make you jump off the back of the bus in said huge boots.
- apathetic English teachers who don't care enough to really listen to what you have to say about the literature the class is reading
- The disappointment of actually having asked him out only to learn that he does not feel the same way
- When the really great cartoons are on too late to watch on a school night
- the Presidential Fitness Test
- having multiple assignments due on the same day
- evil bowling alleys

How I have been assigned:
- Thinking everyone should get out and vote
- Saying "My Bad".
- snoring
- wearing corsets
- having a cell phone
- using American spelling
- liking licorice
- reading and writing fanfiction
- speaking English
- enjoying furry animals
- enjoying the German language
- hating white chocolate
- digging Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (with Johnny Depp)
- being in love with The Deppster himself
- reading Roald Dahl's books
- multiple lynching
- being a teenager
- posting SAVEs
- saying “soda” instead of “pop” or “coke”
- moaning about taking a test and saying: "Let's not do it today, let's do it next time"
- dedicating large portions of my life to Werewolf games
- eating light Mayonnaise
- babysitting
- loving textbooks

Thanks for getting this game together. I expect awesomeness. :D

Enca :)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Welcome Encai and tp! Can't wait to see what I know will be fantastically clever and amusing posts and bios.

[littlemanpoet]

Here's the phantom's list (I wouldn't have typed this but the system is telling me my message is too short, it needs at least one character ... go figure....



scan through the thread and make a list of what you've assigned to Mordor
Okay then. I have copied every one of my Mordor assignements and pasted them here-

* People who "don't get" Strong Bad.
* People who "don't get" fantasy or sci-fi.
* People who drive really slow and stop at corners that don't have stop signs and generally act lost.
* Pedestrians who walk in the street when there is a perfectly good sidewalk ten feet away.
* All cats, except ones with no claws that can play without biting and come when you call them.
* People who think popularity equals quality.
* People who think everyone should get out and vote, even the people (about 40% of voters) who couldn't tell you who's running for what office, who the current vice president is, or what the capital of their state is.
* And yes, all you Brits, I just insinuated that soccer is the official sport of Mordor.
* I declare that all people who think Republicans should go to Mordor should go to Mordor themselves.
* I imagine Mordor's official television station runs nothing but soaps.
* People who are easily offended should go to Mordor.
* And also, people who are constantly worried about offending someone should go to Mordor, too.
* I believe I will send going to work on Saturday to Mordor.
* Anyway, off to Mordor with all teens who don't understand that parents see their children as extensions of their own bodies and souls, and are just as interested in and worried about their children as they are themselves, and want to spare their children as many bumps and bruises, physical and emotional, as possible, and help their children be better at everything than they were when they were young.
* But, people who tailgate when you are going the speed limit or above... yes, indeed, they should go to Mordor.
* So I say, off to Mordor with easy driving tests!
* I send working any time before noon to Mordor!!

also make a list of ways you've been assigned to Mordor
Wow! This is going to take a while.That's why I'm putting those lists on the What do you assign to Mordor thread.

Here it goes-

* Suburbia (by you, lmp, you fiend )
* Milk (by Mithalwen)
* Britney Spears (assigned by lots of people, I secretly am glad she exists because she's got such a gorgeous body, what can I say?)
* People who don't give pedestrians the right of way (by Tinuviel, streets are for cars, not people!)
* People who threaten me with dire threats of unknowable doom. (you again, lmp)

Umm... this is taking too long. I'm only on page 2.

I'm just going to scan that list you made and stick things on it from there.

* bad weather (I like thunderstorms and blizzards)
* cell phones (I neeeeeed mine)
* dentists (I like mine, and I'd rather have a bit of discomfort in his office than a serious mouth problem later, and some of the dental assistants are hot)
* Disney (they've made some good stuff)
* fish (I love seafood)
* heavy traffic (I like the hustle and bustle sometimes)
* long road trips (some of my best memories were made on road trips)
* off-topic posts (I've done it, who hasn't, but in my opinion it's not off-topic if it's something that interests me )
* Yoda (how could anyone assign our little green friend?!)

Okay, that's that.

I'm working on the whole character bit right now.

Snicker! I decided to paste the thing as is, being so full of the phantom's memorable personality. :)

[littlemanpoet]

I have the final two candidates for the game lined up, but am waiting for their firm agreement and information, so their names remain under wraps for the time being. That said, WWXIII is going to be starting up soon, and I'm in it, so we still have a good week or so of planning time before ATM launches.

[Celuien]

I have the final two candidates for the game lined up, but am waiting for their firm agreement and information, so their names remain under wraps for the time being. That said, WWXIII is going to be starting up soon, and I'm in it, so we still have a good week or so of planning time before ATM launches.

Great! Can't wait to get started. :D

Welcome, tp and Encai!

[piosenniel]

Encaitare and the phantom

Please put your character bios and first posts directly onto the planning thread as you get them ready.

Thanks!

~*~ Pio, game moderator

[littlemanpoet]

Our 6th and 7th players are guy who be short and Kath.

Pio, please add their names to the list of those who can post to this thread.

Guy & Kath, as with Enca & tp, you can post your lists, character descrip, and first posts here. I'll let you know right here what may need to be changed.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Welcome aboard, my doves! This is possibly the most excited I've been to begin writing. I don't know two of you half as well as I should like (Durelin and Celuien) and I like all of you slightly more than half as you deserve. ;) I'm glad to be writing with the esteemed likes of ye all. Not you, phantom. I'm terribly upset to be writing with you. Words simply can't express my remorse properly.

Can't wait to see bios and posts!

PS: yay for peer pressure!

[piosenniel]

Everyone's now on the various requisite lists.

And I'm supposing that the game is now closed for taking on any more players . . . yes?/no?

~*~ Pio

[Kath]

Guy & Kath, as with Enca & tp, you can post your lists, character descrip, and first posts here. I'll let you know right here what may need to be changed.
In that case ignore my last PM! I've done the lists though not the bio or post yet.

I assigned:
Saying pronounciation rather than pronumciation
ATMs
Yoda
Overzealous political correctness
Role of Ranger
Geography teachers
Hayfever
Fathers who think they know everything about computers, and then delete programs because they don't know what they're doing or because if it's not theirs it can't possibly be important
Inability to breathe
Hypocritical parents
PE teachers who don't understand asthma
Overly neurotic parents
Hovering parents
Adults that think teenage gripes are just due to hormones
Parents in general
Osteopaths who try to crush you
Going to school when it's pointless
Lying TV people who say the adverts are no louder than the programmes
UCAS applications and personal statements
Online forms and filling them out
Figuring out where to go to university
Being banned from the internet
The logic that means you are banned from the net for tying up the phone lines but are then allowed to be on the phone for 2 hours
People you think are your friends who then turn round and stab you in the back
The internet when it isn't working and you have to restart the computer before it will let you log back on
Adverts
Sneezing when halfway up a climbing wall with a belayer you don't entirely trust
Paranoia
Going to the dentist
School
Procrastinating
Being too ill to walk

Wow, I complain a lot! Other list later as I have to get off the net.

EDIT: here it be

I have been assigned for:
Being a hypocrite
Paying with too much change
Assigning minor irritations to the most miserable, dangerous and evil place in the world without a moments thought
Being a person
Cutting queues
Being pedantic about spelling
Leaving my phone on in class
Using non standard words
Speaking English
Using 'myself and . . .'
Not liking white chocolate
Being unable to turn down food dares
Misusing apostrophes
Making weird faces and comments to those who like black liquorice
Continually complaining about languages
Making off topic posts
Liking a thread but not being able to think of anything to say
Being a conspiracy theorist
Not listening to nagging, seemingly irrrelevant thoughts
Being an offspring who doesn't understand the difficulty of being a parent
Being a child
Procrastinating
Having bad habits
Being a soda and coke drinker
Not signing positive reps (admittedly by accident)
Moaning about having to do tests
Being a girl
Discriminating against the stupid
Being told to do something and immediately not wanting to do it as a result
British spelling is true spelling
Using dangling prepositions
Speaking
Worrying about offending others


There. Bio and post on the way once I've written them.

[the guy who be short]

Wow, I complain a lot!*Snork*

Things I have sent to Mordor:
People using incorrect Jamesian English.
People who can't use capslock.
Chavs.
My thirteen year old self.
Users of non standard words.
Politicians.
Nightmares.
American spelling.
English.
Food poisoning.
Prolonged conjunctivitis.
Illness.
Early birdsong.
All language.
Lack of published Quenya.
Political correctness.
Off topic posts.
Misleading names, like Jellyfish.
Excess phlegm.
When you like a thread but can't think of anything to say.
Ridiculous conspiracy theories / theorists.
Teachers who fail to make maths engaging.
Balrog wingers.
Elastic bands in braces, particularly when accidentally ingested.
Films that radically alter the storyline of the book they're based on.
Finding a whole chick pea lurking in your braces 6 hours after your last meal.
The local press.
Parents between children's adolescence and when we start liking them again.
Eomer of the Rohirrim.
Heatwaves.
Coldwaves.
Sweat patches.
The backspace button.
People who don't understand introverts.
Extroverts who try to engage in conversation when I'm not in the mood.
Being shy around people I know I'll get on well with, once I know them better.
Not having time to respond to PMs.
The time consuming nature of Sixth Form.
Procrastination.
Fossil fuels.
The pervasive media.
Homophones.
People who drop pronouns.
Sudden returns to school.
People who blame bureaucracy and political correctness.
Confusing spellings, such as the -ent and -ant suffixes.
No free periods on a Monday.
Discrimination against the stupid.
The system that allows less intelligent people into positions of authority.
Not having a feudal society based on intellect with the phantom as our leader.
Computers that keep breaking down.
Guy Fawkes Day and the lack of decent British festivals.
The phrase "red tape."
David Cameron.

Things I have been sent to Mordor for:
I enjoy algebra.
I like allegory. Well, some.
I like liquorice.
British spelling is true spelling.
I use dangling prepositions.
I speak English.
I'm about to join a fan fiction game.
I like exams. Honest.
I like fish. Well, depends on the type and if it's already cooked, but generally.
I like geometry. Maths is fun, people. Accept it.
Ich spreche nur ein bische Deutsch. If you ignore grammar rules, that is.
I'm not opposed to nanny states.
I am in many aspects an ignorant fool.
I love maths. And yes, that's an "s" you see there.
I'm not sure on the use of "myself."
I am. Human, that is.
I use language.
Verily, I enjoy non standard words.
I worry about offending others.
I would actually like to be a politician, much as I detest them. I'd be honest and represent the people and... ah, screw it.
I am a raccoon. Well, I'd like to be, just for a day or so.
Same with squirrels.
I am, on occasion, utterly stupid. Depends on what's being discussed.

I'm in the process of naming my character. I have a basic history circulating in my head, but post to come later - I still need to become acquainted with the delightful Green Dragon.

[littlemanpoet]

Everyone's now on the various requisite lists.

And I'm supposing that the game is now closed for taking on any more players . . . yes?/no?

~*~ Pio

That is correct. I have already had the unpleasant duty of turning down one interested party, who, if there is a second generation of this, I promised to invite.

Warning to players: I am going to handle this the way the phantom handled WWXII, in this sense.... if you fail to post often enough and believably enough during a given week's test, your character will lag behind and have to catch up. That means that some characters may not succeed in getting out of Mordor. Just so it's clear, each Test will take one week's game time. I plan on five tests, which means five weeks. Since deadlines have handily been assigned to Mordor, I intend to fully implement them. This game will be over precisely five weeks after it starts, no exceptions. In addition, if you fail to post for an entire week without giving warning (so that your character's catching up to the rest of the Offending Party cannot be adequately planned for by me), your character will become embroiled in a Mordorian Werewolf village and wind up among the multiple lynchees. Promise.

Edit: Oh, and if the above warning is not quite within the bounds of Shire rpg rules, Pio and I will work out an amicable solution so that the goal implied in the warning can be achieved.

[Celuien]

Ah, the Offending Party is complete. Welcome to TGWBS and Kath. Here's looking forward to the trials and tribulations of our tests. :)

EDIT: With regard to the storyline: I have a special fondness (of sorts) for bureaucratic hospitals, should that be a challenge.

As a side note, if there's any place for history in this story, I think I can connect mantle-clocks in the Shire and hobbit legal customs with the rise of anakronisms and bureaucracy. Though I'm not sure if it's appropriate for this game or better left for future sequels.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

In order not to be lynched (ah, I thought I was done with this line of thought ;)), I'll post warning now:

I'll be on break and away from my computer from November 18-27. I'll be able to post, but not nearly as much as if I were actually at school with my high speed connection (instead of dial-up), my belovèd computer (instead of my father's), and less hanging out with old friends (instead of hanging out with new ones).

:D

[Encaitare]

Oh, man. Look at these awesome people who are playing! This game is going to rock.

PS: yay for peer pressure!

You nassty bully, you. ;)

On a side note, I've figured out my character, and am working on the profile and first post now. Yay!

[littlemanpoet]

With regard to the storyline: I have a special fondness (of sorts) for bureaucratic hospitals, should that be a challenge. What a great idea! I was beginning to have trouble figuring out how to make a mere bureaucracy fun to write. Dovetailing it with the hospital/dentistry scene will solve that problem! Thanks!

I can connect mantle-clocks in the Shire and hobbit legal customs with the rise of anakronisms and bureaucracy. It may work. Can you elaborate without giving away the whole thing?

I'll be on break and away from my computer from November 18-27. I'm open to taking a break at that time, if that works best for the most of us. Obviously, the Brits amongst us aren't affected at all, but Thanksgiving Day (aka Turkey Day) has turned into such a huge normal-life-stoppage in the U.S., that we may have to take a break. Thoughts?

And now to go figure out just what these tests are going to be.......

[Celuien]

It may work. Can you elaborate without giving away the whole thing?

I can try...

It's a Silmarillion style passage "Of Morgoth and the Coming of the Bureaucratic Machine." Morgoth has cursed machinery and various other items from our modern world such that when they appear, bureaucracy comes with them (a way to bring down future human civilizations that occurred to him due to his foresight that humans would depend on technology). Those anachronistic, enchantment breaking objects in the Shire activate the curse at a low level, hence legal customs requiring seven signatures in red ink, etc. Of course, with all the anakronisms in Mordor, the curse is bound to be stronger.

It's just a wild thought that came to me when thinking over the "Breaking the Enchantment" thread. I have no idea if it works or not.

[littlemanpoet]

Give it a whirl, Celuien, and we'll edit as necessary as we go.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

"Being in love", eh? Now you've gone and done it. ATM, here we go! :p
Ooh, ooh, can I be in love? *raises hand* I can incorporate loads of Mordor-worthy bits to it... giggling randomly, telling soppy stories that nobody actually wants to hear, sky-rocketing phonebills (random thought: make cellphones like transportable palantiri?), long-suffering sighs, and the most poetic bits of "oh how I love him" known to man. And the crowning glory... the breakup. Can I do it? *pointedly contorts face into something adorably pleading with puppy-dog-eyes involved*

[Durelin]

Just putting my bio here...hope that's okay. I also hope it's okay if I get a thumbs up, down, or sideways from the mighty Anakron on my character before I finish up my first post.

1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? - Yes… Wolf Run, Search for the Lost Messenger, Quest Ainereg, Truth in a Dark Place, Gondorian House Call, Dark Seduction, Corsairs and Corsets (sorta), Resistance, Brotherhood, A Story from the Last Alliance, The Ambassador’s Son (last part), Bloodstained Elanor, Land of Darkness (sorta), Red Flows the Sirannon… I think that’s it.

2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in? - One...Red Flows the Sirannon

3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon or The White Horse Inn? – Yes, both.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Durelin's character


Name: Valde Delego (Normally goes by his surname, sometimes by his first)
Age: Whatever suits him at the time…he can easily pass for about 30, whether he is around that age or not
Race: Human
Gender: Male

Weapons: When it suits him, he considers himself quite the secret weapon, professing that he is his enemies’ worst nightmare (so, often everybody’s worst nightmare). But other times, any talk of war makes him scoff and break off into a loud rant about how barbaric it is.

Appearance: Tall, dark, and handsome. And brooding. He is a regular Mr. Darcy on a bad day, who will never meet his Elizabeth Bennett. And though he has rather large sideburns, he does not quite have muttonchops. He also has particularly prominent eyebrows and an outstanding bird-like nose.

Personality: A self-absorbed doomsayer who always finds something to complain about. He is constantly bemoaning his situation, whether or not any normal person would find it quite pleasing. Either nothing is good enough for him, or it is too goody-two-shoes perfect for him, much to his annoyance. He is on the eternal quest for the Happy Medium, believing that it doesn’t exist and cursing it even if it does. He often has a taste for drama, histrionic to his very core, and normally exaggerates either indignant outrage at his bruised pride, or the deepest, darkest depression, that of which every brilliant mind must endure, of course. He plays the suicidal Cassius to a ‘t,’ but without his own Brutus, and, fortunately for him and unfortunately for most, without the blade to do the bloody deed.

History: Delego was born to parents both rich and famous for having done an in-depth study on the health hazards of instruction on Sunday mornings. Unfortunately for his parents, he had the inborn ability to demand people’s attention through his own version of devilish wailing, which he describes as quickly developing into the sound of the eternal anguish and torment of a demon eternally flailed, which reverberated through the woe-begotten halls of eternity. But they did not initiate a study on the effects of babies’ crying.

His first word was ‘doom,’ and his favorite phrase from a very young age was ‘go to Mordor,’ which he used not at all sparingly whenever he did not get his way (and of course the poor soul barely ever got his way). When asked why he said these things, his only response would be that the person or thing he addressed ‘belonged there.’ Several years later, when he learned of the Anakronisms and how horrid they were, he made it his life’s goal to prod as many people as he could into voicing such evils in public in order to condemn them all to Mordor. It all worked very well, and he grew healthily in confidence whenever he heard from some vigilante rumour-mongorers of the people he cursed falling down rabbit holes in Mordor in time to have tea with some very interesting residents, whom he later would have described as mad, had he gotten past guffawing at their noteworthy taste in headwear.

He wished a long journey to Mordor upon many, that is, until one day when it was brought to the attention of the Anakronism Police (by a man who was later marked for Mordor due to his skewed concept of reality) that it was indeed obnoxious that such intolerant people who would assign minor irritations to the most miserable, dangerous and evil place in the world without a moment's thought be allowed to simply roam the streets of Minas Tirith. He was carried off to Mordor in a hurry, destroying his parents’ once pristine reputation for a few weeks until they released their study on lima beans being a co-conspirator with nuclear bombs in the coming of the some-day apocalypse.

This is of course not the story he would tell anyone who asked of his origins. He would instead begin on a very detailed account of how he was playing hide and seek with all the most notable and un-Anakronistic children of Minas Tirith (of which, apparently, there were about three), and decided to hide in a large chest of drawers (he was very small as a young child, you see). He then found that he had picked the wrong drawer, and thought he had fallen through the bottom of it, when he found himself plopping down upon a pile of ash, with nothing visible around him but the distant glow of the neon lights of The Mount Doom Casino and Resort. He was not very happy to be there, in this land called Nurnia (even though the initial sight of a centre for debaucheries such as gambling was a rather welcome sight to him), and is still looking for a return chest of drawers or armoire of some kind. (Of course that’s how it happened; don’t be such an Edmund!)

He uses this story to explain his bitter hatred for all things living, suspecting them to have something to do with his transport to Nurnia; his unnatural disgust at Turkish delight; and his irrational fear of drawers and particularly handles. Even so disoriented by his new surroundings, Delego quickly adapted to his new habitat, darkening his disposition and raising it to the first power in order to maximize his resilience to the ashlands. Soon he was conjuring up a few new action phrases, such as ‘go drown in the Sea of Nurn,’ and would begin work on his autobiography as a motivational tale of a young boy torn from his roots who managed to piece them back together in a strikingly new world and save himself from the inconvenience of assimilation. Cursing his past encounters to Mordor has been conveniently removed from his memory, for the most part, as it was too much for him to consider that he belonged in those black lands, having been sent there.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Durelin's post

From the moment her woke up, Valde knew that this day, of all days, would be different. He knew, the very second he felt his mind being dragged into consciousness, that his life would be changing very soon. It was suddenly as if this was a long day prophesized in a time long forgotten, though the memory had resurfaced in the man’s dreams. Perhaps it came from the remembrance of more pleasant mornings, when he had been wakened gently from a peaceful slumber on top of a fluffy feather mattress. He had been treated like a young prince-ling in Minas Tirith, and he had of course been as handsome as one then, too. The harsh lands of Mordor had worn him down to what he was, a man rejected by his past and constantly tortured by the present, but one who stood boldly in the face of the future. Now he was but a simple man, who yearned for more, and would stop at nothing to reach it.

Or so, at least, it was told to anyone who asked about that day.

The truth was, he had awakened that morning with many groanings and moanings, and had counted on spending his day in sorrowful meditation where of course everyone could see him. His first movement since falling asleep was to reach up and wipe the drool from the corner of his mouth. He then felt the pillow, found it wet, and decided that he must inform anyone who asked that he had cried himself to sleep that night, just in case anyone decided to give his pillow a feel. Stumbling out of his room, he cursed every object on the floor that he stepped on, wishing to give the sea life in the Nurn an impressive collection of ironware, quills, and empty ink pots, along with a large stack consisting of the not-yet-so-famous tragedies of Valde Delego, written for the stage.

Upon knocking down one such stack, Valde noticed a particular piece of parchment. It was larger than the rest, and the letters upon it were to match, glaring at him. It was almost as if he could see their eyebrows slanting and their lips curling, and so he quickly crumpled up the sheet to hide them. Angrily he threw it out his open window, and the falling paper was greeted with an unnaturally high-pitched squeal.

“Do not screech in my window, thee harpy!” he shouted upon rushing to stick his head outside, and then quickly he pulled the shudders shut with a slam. He regretted not saying more to the squealer, but decided that a solemn, silent curse would be enough until they met again. For but a moment he bemoaned his situation, muttering to himself, the only words audible being ‘wretched, poor, stricken, forsaken, maimed, brutal, wound, and ticks.’ Of course, he was obviously relating the Grand Anakronist and the King to parasites, or simply a good poke in the eye. And his reason for this at the moment was plain: gatherings were mandatory, and one was today.

Reluctantly, and pulling his grim cloak of sadness tighter around him (a ratty old thing of black cloth that rippled nicely in the wind, perfect for swirling, and thus perfect for either gloomy or angry brooding, depending on the occasion), Valde made his way to the Anakronist’s gathering. Just look at all these filthy people, he thought upon arriving at Caer Pairadocks, Look at that hideous orange scarf that woman’s wearing. What was she thinking? ‘Tis a Mordorian style, if I ever saw one. No wonder she’s stuck here.

Taking a position at the back of the crowd, huddled in his cloak with the tall neck pulled up so that he stared over with his dark eyes and large eyebrows as he scanned the gathering, his face frozen in what he thought to be frigid. It became obvious to him that he was trying too hard when a passing woman asked him if he needed to relieve himself. She received first a wide-eyed look of pure shock, which quickly turned to fierce resentfulness. “You would so bother a simple man, protected from the elements by only these scraps of cloth, and even less protected from the storms within the heart? There is no wondering, madam, why you are here in Mordor.”

“The same to you, chap.” And with that, the woman moved on, leaving Valde to boil in his anger. So, naturally, he did not notice when the Grand Anakronist began extracting names from the ATM machine. At least, not until he heard his own name, though he naturally wished his ears were lying to him, not knowing why on earth he was called. He quickly smoothed his cloak and gave a tug to the collar, and began to make his way through the crowd, matching every curse at him for pushing with a more iniquitous one.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Encaitare]

Character Description Form:


1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? – yes, Sailing Away, Red Flows the Sirannon

2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in? – one, Red Flows the Sirannon

3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon or The White Horse Inn – yes

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Encaitare's character

NAME: Wilhelmina Brochenbach (with ach-Lauts (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_phonology#Ich-Laut_and_ach-Laut) and not K's, if you please please)

AGE: 72

RACE: human

GENDER: female

WEAPONS: a large walking-stick with a brass handle, garishly shaped as a light mayonnaise jar out of pure spite. It actually holds her secret stash of licorice.

APPEARANCE: Wilhelmina is on the short side, and has become rather thickset in her old age. She wears many skirts and petticoats of varying color and quality, and still wears a corset over her oversized shirt to keep her back straight, and remind her of the good old days. A large black hat is balanced precariously atop her grey head. Sometimes a whiskered little nose pops out from behind the feathers and fake flowers of the hat to say hello.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: She retains a fair share of stubbornness from her youth, and has certainly not mellowed with age. She is not easily shaken, but she still gets a bit touchy whenever she hears anything about carbonated beverages. Most people think that all the time spent in Mordor has addled her brains a bit, so they tend to avoid her. Her pet ferret is therefore her closest friend.

HISTORY:Born in FA 581, Wilhelmina was growing up at just the time that Anakronisms were zapping themselves into Gondor at an alarming rate. She was a rebellious, outspoken sort of teen who made a point to speak Anakronisms all the time at home because it made her mother nervous. As a young woman, she was very attractive, and also very fixed upon keeping herself that way. Some of the Anakronisms she had found were actually good, she decided, a blasphemous thought according to the king. But she really loved the boned corset and huge boots that had mysteriously materialized in her backyard one day, and it seemed worth the risk since the sexy outfit she’d put together would most certainly make the object of her affections notice her.

One summer night, she and some girlfriends went to a tavern on the fourth level of Minas Tirith to see if the cute bartender Wilhelmina liked was there. A long cloak concealed the outlandish outfit. To her disappointment, the cute bartender was absent, and replaced by one who just wasn't very cute at all. He smiled greasily at her and her friends.

"What can I get for you, ladies?" he asked. Wilhelmina wrinkled her nose ever so slightly and asked for a Coke.

The barman looked around anxiously. There had been problems about ordering carbonated beverages, as they could be tied in with Anakronisms if one wasn't careful. The fact that she was pretty was probably the only thing that was keeping him from reporting her, she thought. He lowered his voice. "What kind, miss?"

"What?" she said, staring at him blankly.

He looked even more skittish. "What kind of coke would you like?"

Something clicked and she understood. "Listen," she said, irritated. "When I say coke, I mean a COKE, and NOT any OTHER kind of soda. A coke is a Coke is a Coca-forking-Cola!"

The man appeared to be on the verge of madness at her outburst, which had drawn some attention. "She spoke an Anakronism!" he shrieked for the whole tavern to hear. "She's making trouble with carbonated beverage terminology!"

A group of guards in the corner of the tavern rose from their table. "What's your name, missy?" one asked.

"Wilhelmina Brochenbach," she replied, glaring at the men.

"Oh ho!" one exclaimed. "That name sounds like German to me!" He grabbed her roughly by the shoulder. "It's most definitely off to Mordor with you, missy," one of them growled.

"Get your hands off me, you brutes!" she cried, realizing that her huge boots served another purpose: toe-crushing. The guard howled, but the others grabbed her by the arms from behind and she was unable to reach them. The pin holding the cloak shut broke, and it fell away, revealing the blasphemous getup.

"What's that she's wearing?!" the injured guard raged. "More Anakronisms! You'll be in Mordor for a long time, you, and I’m not sorry of it either!"

Thus Wilhelmina Brochenbach came to dwell in the Black Land. After a time, the blisters from the giant boots made the footwear too much to bear. She tried to date, but all the men spat on the ground for no apparent reason, and only wanted to go out to bowling alleys. So Wilhelmina resigned herself to being a bachelorette, and invited a furry animal – a ferret named Mr. Swanky – to dwell in an excellent hat she’d found and keep her company.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Encaitare's post

"Oh, very well, Mr. Swanky. You may have some licorice even if it's not quite lunchtime yet." The old woman unscrewed the cap from the handle of her walking-stick and removed a licorice whip. She broke a little piece off the end and appeared to feed it to her garish hat.

"Daddy, look, that lady is giving her hat lunch!" a small girl noted, tugging on her father's sleeve.

The man took a look and said to his daughter, "Never you mind, hon. That's just old Wilhelmina Brokenback. She's crazy."

Luckily, Wilhelmina was a bit deaf and didn’t hear the exchange; otherwise the man would have gotten a smart whack with her walking-stick for calling her crazy and mispronouncing her name in the same breath. Instead, she slowly chewed the rest of the licorice herself, waiting for the selection of names to begin. If anyone deserved to get out of Mordor, she did. She'd been in the wretched land for more than fifty years, and although she'd gotten used to it, it would be nice to live in a place where speeding drivers didn't try to mow her down on her way to the corner store. Yet she had dwelt there for so long that she felt quite patient to wait for the names to be drawn. What were a few more minutes compared to the years already gone?

Around her, people were chatting excitedly. "The first thing I'm going to do if I get out of here..." was the phrase that was flying about. One shrill voice cut through the din; "Wrinkle-Away Skin Firming Solution! Take ten years off your face instantly!"

"'S that Panakeia loony again," Wilhelmina muttered to herself. "If you ask me, she could use some of that face cream stuff herself. Not that I'm one to talk, of course," she added, as though someone had called her hypocritical.

Suddenly, the crowd hushed as the Grand Anakronist stepped forth and cleared his throat. He announced that it was time to choose the lucky few who would comprise the Offending Party. Hundreds of eyes watched as the ATM rose from the ground, and everyone seemed to hold his (or her) breath as the transactions were completed.

"Alumìn-E Umfuìl," Anakron read. A pretty young girl pushed her way forward, griping about how he’d said her name wrong. "Panakeia of Harad," he continued. The saleswoman joined the first girl at Anakron’s side. The machine spat out a third card. The man squinted at it for a moment, and then read, "Wilhelmina Brochenbach."

Wilhelmina grinned and made her way to the front. "Good man!" she said jovially. "Got the ach-Lauts and everything! Did you hear that, Mr. Swanky? We’re going to get out of here!"

[piosenniel]

If you see an "edited by piosenniel" on your character bio/first post - I'm just setting it up for easy transfer of your post to the RPG thread.

~*~ Pio, Game Moderator

[littlemanpoet]

Ooh, ooh, can I be in love? *raises hand* I can incorporate loads of Mordor-worthy bits to it... giggling randomly, telling soppy stories that nobody actually wants to hear, sky-rocketing phonebills (random thought: make cellphones like transportable palantiri?), long-suffering sighs, and the most poetic bits of "oh how I love him" known to man. And the crowning glory... the breakup. Can I do it? *pointedly contorts face into something adorably pleading with puppy-dog-eyes involved*

And who, praytell, would be your victim? Or would there be more than one? ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

And who, praytell, would be your victim? Or would there be more than one? ;)
I hadn't yet decided. Should one of our beloved conspirators (aka: writers) choose the role of someone fall-in-lovable, I might have to strike a bargain with them, if they're willing.

Should that fail, I can always fall in love with a 'Downer. I belive Eomer of the Rohirrim and the phantom have been bodily sent to Mordor. ;) Then again, so has The Saucepan Man. Maybe we could convince him to cameo ("No, dear Alli, I'm married with children. This relationship would never work, though I'm flattered."). :D

Or, you know... I think Johnny Depp's in there... *grin*

[littlemanpoet]

I love it! Valde Delego will be such a great contrast to other, more (shall we say) high spirited (and drunk on being in love) characters. :p

Just one modification I require of you:

He then found that he had picked the wrong drawer, and thought he had fallen through the bottom of it, when he found himself plopping down upon a pile of ash, with nothing visible around him but the distant glow of a fiery volcanic mountain.

With the destruction of the Ring, I posit that Mt. Doom burned itself out, so as to be dormant for a long, long time; The Mount Doom Casino and Resort has been built over the place where Mount Doom once vomited its filth.

[littlemanpoet]

Another great character! :D I'm splitting my sides with each new entry.

Just one thing missing, Enca: "personality: strengths, weaknesses", although it can be inferred from what you've written. Still, it's all part of the bureaucratic red tape of becoming a full-fledged player in this here rpg, so I'll be waiting for it. :)

NAME: Wilhelmina Brochenbach (with ach-Lauts (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_phonology#Ich-Laut_and_ach-Laut) and not K's, if you please please)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I love it!
Most excellent. Now who wants to fall in love with me? :p

EDIT: er, I mean with "Alli" ;)

[Encaitare]

Oopsies! All fixed, LMP. I knew I was forgetting something... :rolleyes:

[Durelin]

With the destruction of the Ring, I posit that Mt. Doom burned itself out, so as to be dormant for a long, long time; The Mount Doom Casino and Resort has been built over the place where Mount Doom once vomited its filth.

*smacks head* Will be fixed shortly!

EDIT: Fixed...and I like it better now. :D

EDIT x2: I just realized I answered a 'How many' question with 'Yes' on my bio... Is there some kind of therapy for that? *thinks that this game's players probably aren't the best support group for insanity* As long as I want to return to sanity, that is...which I would never. ;)

[the guy who be short]

My first post is in the process of being crafted, but as I've never played an RPG before, I thought I'd post the rest of the necessary info and see if LMP wants any of it drastically altered, deleted, reshaped, or hoovered. :)

Name: Fléin of the Ironfists living in the Orocarni

Character Description Form:


1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? – NO unless you count the Green Dragon or Unforbidden.

2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in? None.

List them, please: N/A

3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon or The White Horse Inn – YES

_______________________________________

TGWBS's character

NAME: Fléin son of Fréin (of the Ironfists).

AGE: 102 (and just come of Age)

RACE: Dwarf, Ironfist.

GENDER: Male

WEAPONS: Steel axe. It's double edged and very sharp, you know. A little boringly conventional, I'll admit, but quite handy.

APPEARANCE: Short and Bearded. Four feet and six inches tall. Black, curly hair not restricted to conventional hair-growing areas. Surprisingly un-ironlike fists. Has a penchant for steel chain mail. Also wears a round steel helmet. Weathered, brown skin and intelligent black eyes. When not wearing a helmet, his hear appears rather flat and therefore perfect for resting e.g. mugs upon.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Likes throwing Khuzdul into his sentences. Slow to make friends, quick to anger. Rather blunt, as opposed to his axe. Speaks little and with a strong Dwarvish accent. Dislikes his head being used as a table, dislikes Elves. Likes mining, crafting, selling, hoarding and hewing. Despite his quietness, an incredibly intelligent fellow. Weaknesses include being rather short. Strengths include being at a good height to remove people's stomachs with ease.

HISTORY: The tale of Fléin's coming to Mordor is a most curious one. Fréin's House, the Ironfoots, or, as some preferred, Ironfeet, traditionally dwelt at the feet of the Orocarni. Near the beginning of the Fourth Age, these were rediscovered by the Men of Gondor and thus opened up to trade.

Due to the general decline of the Dwarvish race, Fléin's father was one of the few sentient beings left in Middle Earth capable of crafting weapons so pointy that, were one to place it on the earth, it would near instantaneously submerge itself to the hilt. By the time of Fléin's coming of age, therefore, his father was a hugely successful merchant, with stalls in most major Gondorian cities.

Shortly after his hundredth birthday, Fléin's father convinced him to take a trip to Gondor to get a real feel for the business world, for though Fléin was a shrewd dwarf, he had little practicle experience, due largely to the absence of civilisation in the parts where he lived. He also intended to make pilgrimages to Khazad-Dum, Kheled-Zaram, Durin's Stone, Aglarond and the field of Azanulbizar.

His first stop, however, was Minas Tirith, to meet the family's accountant, or, as they were called in those days, computer, in those lands. Fléin's father had warned him of the accountant's somewhat... sensitive nature. "He often has breakdowns, lad, but he is a good man. Just pray you find him well."

"Where is Iorin?" he had nervously asked the maid upon finding the building.

"I'm afraid he's just had a little bit of a psychological breakdown, master Dwarf," the maid had replied nonchalantly. "Currently, he believes himself to be a duck."

The Dwarf had sworn, tugging at his beard. "Why does my computer keep breaking down!" he yodelled into the cold Gondorian morning.

Swiftly, two pairs of burly arms had grabbed him from behind and begun hurling him towards a cart. He had protested in the form of loud yells and attempting to remove one of the men's legs, but to no avail. And so, by a quirk of fate, he had found himself in the most inhospitable realm in Middle Earth.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the guy who be short's post:

Much as Fléin would have liked to have left Mordor, he simply didn't have enough energy to be enthusiastic. Being woken at four ante meridian by twittering songbirds was hardly the best way to start a day, but when said awakening is accompanied by discovering you have conjunctivitis - well, it's hard to deal with. After discovering that he was not, in fact, blind, but merely lacking in eyelid mobility due to a gooey discharge, Fléin had tried to rush blindly to the well. Unfortunately, fate was smiling down in a particularly twisted manner that day, and before he had taken five paces, Fléin was face down on the ground due to excess phlegm coating the floor.

Life in Mordor was never easy, but people have especially bad days even in the Black Land. So far, this appeared to be one of them. He had been in Mordor for only two years, maybe less, but the longing to leave was like a manic kitten in his heart - painful and stingingly noticable.

So it was that Fléin found himself behind a large crowd at Cair Pairadocks, hoping beyond hope that he would be chosen to leave Mordor.

The noise of flugel horns startled Fléin, causing him to blink, or rather, causing him to perform half of the action that is generally thought sufficient to be considered a blink. His eyes stuck shut.

"Blasted Conjunctivitis!" the Dwarf swore. He had visited a nurse just before coming to the docks, but she was a know nothing and hadn't been any help at all. In a way, it was perhaps nicer having ones eyes sealed shut. One didn't have to take into account the blasted landscape, or the even more blasted aspects of civilisation that had made their way into Mordor.

"Excuse me," Fléin intoned into the air at large. I've just gone temporarily blind. Little help, someone?"

"Blindness? How positively bestial. Do stay away from me, be a good fellow," a snotty upperclassman had replied.

The Dwarf sighed. Sometimes it was better to say nothing at all. He stuck his fists into his eyes and forcibly peeled them apart.

By this time, the Grand Anakronist had already declared the name of Alumìne Umfuìl as the first member of the Offending Party. Though he had freed his eyes (albeit they were streaming pus all over his face and into his beard) Fléin couldn't see her through the press of human bodies around him. From what he heard, he instantly disliked the girl. Here she was, given the chance to leave this curséd land - what a chance! - and all she could do was moan about her name.

Panakeia, the next name to be selected, turned out to be a woman who sounded even more annoying than Alumìne. What a buffoon, he thought. Thank goodness I'm not her, even if my eyes are melting.

Wilhelmia Brochenbach was next. What a disgusting name. And yet another woman? Suspicions about the Grand Anakronist's honour whizzed through Fléin's mind. But then again, why would he choose a whiny child, an idiotic saleswoman and an old bat out of all the women in Mordor?

The possibility that he was being bitter about his bad morning and taking it out, completely unjustifiably, on those running into a bit of luck flittered through Fléin's mind. He tried to make it go away.

"Fléin son of Fréin of the Ironfoots" the Grand Anakronist cried, his voice rolling through the courtyard.

"Ironfeet!" injected an annoying English teacher.

Fléin couldn't believe it. What a piece of luck! How wonderfully harmonious the universe seemed, that he should be given the chance to leave with those three fine women! "That's me! That's me!" he screamed. "Out of my way!"

The crowd parted around him, and he made his way up to the ATM and the Grand Anakronist himself. The latter eyed him with disdain. "It is, is it?" he intoned, looking down the length of his nose at the Dwarf.

"Er, yes, sir," Fléin meekly replied, but the Grand Anakronist had already turned to read the next card the machine had just excreted, so he stood there, smiling jovially at the whiner, the nutter and the old bat.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[littlemanpoet]

Good stuff, Guy. I eagerly await your first post.

[piosenniel]

http://www.stavropolgeo.ru/soft/images/flag.gif


Before your planning on cameos goes forward, I'd like to make the request that for this game, you forego them. Since this type of RPG is an experimental one, and there were a number of hoops jumped through to get it on board, I'd prefer that it not go off onto any sideroads with the use of cameos.

Sorry! But I'd really like this game to be tight and well written and something I can defend as a viable RPG type for the Barrow-Downs.

~*~ Pio

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Before your planning on cameos goes forward, I'd like to make the request that for this game, you forego them.
No problem. Next question: who thinks it would be amusing for Alli to fall in love with The Grand Anakronist? :p

[littlemanpoet]

Next question: who thinks it would be amusing for Alli to fall in love with The Grand Anakronist? :p

A delicious waste of time for both parties. :p

[the guy who be short]

First post added. :)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

First post enjoyed.

[littlemanpoet]

..., so he stood there, smiling jovially at the whiner, the nutter and the old bat. Absolutely hilarious! :D Nothing needs to be changed. With every first post I see, the more excited I get about this rpg. Way to go, guys! :)

[the phantom]

Now who wants to fall in love with me? :p
I'm afraid that's not possible...

...everyone is already in love with you, m'dear. ;)

lmp- I took your advice about revealing my character's full history. I won't do it until the game is in full swing.

Character Description Form:

1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? – YES/NO - Which one? I'm not sure. Do the birthday parties count? I know There was one in 2003, I believe, that was in one of the RPG sections. Does that officially make it RPG?

2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in? None.

3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon Inn – YES/NO Yes

For your character please include:

NAME: Mardil II

AGE: 23

RACE: Human

GENDER: Male

WEAPONS (No magical, super-hero, mithril weapons. Just good solid Middle-earth weapons and armor only that is appropriate to the race of the character and the time period.): Mardil loves weapons. He carries a spear in his hands and a bow and a light sword across his back. He also loves throwing knives, and has a huge assortment of them across his chest, in his belt, in holsters on his legs, and even a couple in his boots. Mardil also carries various poisons, some of which are made for poisoning food and drinks, and others for coating his throwing knives.

APPEARANCE: Mardil has a lean athletic build with a height slightly less than average. He has blue eyes, and long, dirty-blonde hair.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: (No half-Elven characters. No mixed-type characters. No super-heroes. No assassins. No one all powerful, martial arts proficient, or having any magical traits. Just regular characters with normal abilities for their races only): Mardil is extremely smart and is charming when he needs to be and has many talents, which causes him to think an awful lot of himself. He fancies himself as the best all-around human in the world. But, this belief results in an extreme fear of failure, since, of course, the best in the world should never fail.

Mardil is scared to death of performing poorly on anything, therefore he tends to be lazy and do nothing at all, unless there is no risk involved. When he does do something, he purposefully does not give his best effort, and makes sure that everyone else can tell. That way, if he fails he can use the excuse that he wasn't trying. But he seldom has to use that excuse. His less than best effort is usually good enough to succeed.

Mardil, though he loves weapons, is a bit of a coward when it comes to fighting (which there is a lot of in Mordor). He avoids fights at all costs, even if he thinks he will for sure win. He does this because he is afraid of not only dying, but of being harmed. He very much dislikes uncomfortable things like cuts and scratches, and considers a battle a loss if he receives so much as a sprained pinky.

When he is forced to fight, though he is fairly strong, he does not rely on strength to win because other fighters are often larger than him. He relies on his fantastic speed/agility/reflexes and weapons skills to overcome his foes. His preferred method is to strike surprise blows. For instance, he will agree to duel his opponent using swords, and then as soon as the fight begins Mardil will fling a poisoned throwing dagger into his opponent's foot. In other words, he is more than willing to cheat.

About the only time Mardil does not act cowardly is when he is trying to reel in a beautiful young lady. One time he challenged three trolls to a fight in order to earn some alone time with a fair maiden.

Mardil is often abrasive, and doesn't worry about sparing people's feelings when he talks. At times, he will purposefully stir up bad feelings and arguments just for entertainment.

And yes, I know what you are thinking- a cheating, egotistical, womanizing, mean, coward?! This Mardil is a horrible person! But that is simply not true (well, not entirely true at any rate). Mardil used to be better- before Mordor.

The pre-Mordor Mardil was wonderful to be around. He enjoyed making others laugh and liked to toss out compliments to nearly everyone. He was an engaging speaker, and did not have a difficult time convincing people to see things his way.

He also had a special soft spot for children. He loved to play games with them, but he especially loved to teach them things. He derived great satisfaction from imparting knowledge to others.

But that Mardil has been gone for several years.

HISTORY: According to his records, Mardil was officially assigned to Mordor for "quoting Yoda", but when asked about it he denies ever having done it. He won't say why he believes he was sent.

No one knows anything about Mardil- except his two "guards", Gundor and Bregor. The two men, both middle-aged, guard Mardil's tent, do all of his tasks for him, and refer to him as Milord or Master. However, the two men bite their tongues when asked about Mardil, and so no one has learned what they know about him. Mardil's speech, pronunciation, and mannerisms peg him as a member of the upper class of Gondor, but that is about all anyone can guess.

He was sent to Mordor when he was eighteen. Gundor and Bregor joined him one month later. Two years after arriving, Mardil was summoned by the Grand Anakronist and given a letter from outside Mordor. No one knows who it was from or what information it contained. Mardil claimed it was nothing, but he was obviously lying, for that is when his behavior took a sudden turn for the worse. He had always been capable of cutting remarks and made them now and then when he thought they were deserved, but now he became perpetually abrasive. His egotism and arrogance, which had previously been somewhat endearing, grew into unbearable full blown narcissism, from which arose his cowardice.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the phantom's post

A loud knock at his bedroom door spurred Mardil into a state of slight consciousness.

"Wha- whass goin' on...mmm, jusss...go'way...m'sleepin'..." he mumbled, slipping back into slumber as he spoke.

The knock sounded again. Mardil opened his eyes. Annoyed, he grumbled, "Leave me alone," but the knock sounded again, accompanied by a "I have a message for you, Lord Mardil."

Mardil recognized the speaker. "Gundor, I told you I'm trying to sleep. I'll read my message later!"

"But Milord," protested Gundor, "The message is from the Grand Anakronist. The man who delivered it said it was imperative that it be given to you immediately."

Mardil rolled over onto his back and stretched his arms out above his head. "Well, I suppose now that I'm awake I might as well read it. Bring it to me."

The door to the well furnished room opened and a tall man with grey-flecked black hair entered, carrying a parchment in his left hand. He was dressed in finely crafted armor and held a spear in his right hand. "Here it is, Master," he said as he offered Mardil the parchment.

Mardil took the message and unfolded it. It read-

Lord Mardil II,

I know that you never bother to come to gatherings, even if they are declared mandatory, but I would strongly suggest joining the assembly in Caer Pairadocks this morning.

I know what you are thinking. You believe there is no way that your name will be chosen because the King's writ and pardon are involved, but I assure you, the King has no control over which names are picked. The selection is random. The only person that can influence the ATM machine is me- The Grand Anakronist.

And now that I've said that, let me just say that I have a strong feeling your name will be chosen.

If you do not arrive before noon you forfeit your chance of escape.

-The Grand Anakronist

Mardil sighed and handed the letter back to Gundor. "What did it say, Milord?"

"Go ahead and read it if you like, Gundor." Mardil sat for a moment staring at the wall, waiting for Gundor to finish.

After Gundor reached the end of the letter, he looked up. "I assume you are going to go, Lord Mardil?"

"I suppose. My life would certainly be easier back home than it is here, but... it wouldn't be as good as the way I left it. I'm worried that I would constantly compare my life with what it was before Mordor- and that would rob me of all joy. Perhaps it would be best to stay here."

"That may be true," said Gundor, "But if I may say so, Milord, there are more reasons to live than for joy and happiness. What about power, your family's honor and status, and revenge against those that wronged you? Surely those things are worth pursuing. Aren't those reasons good enough to leave Mordor for?"

Mardil smiled grimly. "Yes, Gundor, those are good reasons." After a short pause, Mardil stood to his feet and placed his hand on Gundor's shoulder. "You are a good and faithful servant, Gundor. I can't tell you how glad I am that you and Bregor chose to join me here. If I escape I will find a way to get you out of this place. I promise. Now, go and get Bregor and have him help you pack my things, and then load them onto a cart and deliver them to me in Caer Pairadocks. I will go on ahead to be sure I am there before noon."

----------

Mardil stood upon a balcony overlooking the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks. So far, The Grand Anakronist had called forward an overdressed middle aged lady, a short old lady, a dwarf, a slender girl who looked to be around seventeen, and a young lady who was overly touchy about the pronunciation of her name. I hope she isn't that touchy about everything. If she is, she will be a real pain to have along thought Mardil, though she certainly is easy on the eyes he observed as he looked her up and down for about the twentieth time.

The voice of the Grand Anakronist interrupted Mardil's musings. "Mardil II!"

Mardil waved from the balcony. The Grand Anakronist looked up at him and nodded.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[piosenniel]

Just to clarify for the newer gamers - the Inns and the Birthday Party threads don't count as Barrow-Downs RPG's. Only those games which have a posted game proposal and character bios for each player count as official RPG's.

---

Looking forward to following along in this game!

~*~ Pio

[Kath]

Eep! :eek: Looks like everyones done except me! I promise it's on it's way. The first post is mostly complete and the history is in the planning stages. It will be up by tomorrow evening at the latest (just depends what time I get up after this party tonight!).

And if you want my character's name, I was feeling silly and made it Sai Onara. However, it was only after coming up with it that I read Fea's post and realised her characters name is also able to be read across like that so if she wants it changed I'm happy to do so.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Me? Want it changed? Not a chance. I like it. Sai is pretty and Onara amuses me.

PS: TP: I love it.

[Kath]

Character Description Form:

1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? – YES

2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in? Red Flows the Sirannon and Numenorean Blood Runs Black

3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon Inn – YES/NO - Yes

For your character please include:

NAME: Sai Onara

AGE: 17

RACE: Human

GENDER: Female

WEAPONS (No magical, super-hero, mithril weapons. Just good solid Middle-earth weapons and armor only that is appropriate to the race of the character and the time period.): Sai has no specific weapons as in her town it is illegal to own one if you're under 18. She can, however, make a good enough weapon out of pretty much anything that comes to hand, including her hands themselves.

APPEARANCE: She is taller than she'd like so she slouches a lot to appear shorter. She is slim and pale, two features that she loves as it encourages people to give her food to 'fatten her up a bit'. She has long dark hair that she pulls over her face to hide from people she doesn't want to talk to. When her face can be seen she has quite harsh features, with cheekbones you could cut yourself on. Her eyes are expressive, changing colour with her moods.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: (No half-Elven characters. No mixed-type characters. No super-heroes. No assassins. No one all powerful, martial arts proficient, or having any magical traits. Just regular characters with normal abilities for their races only): Sickeningly optimistic most of the time unless she can't breathe in which case she descends into a foul mood. She is able to strike up a conversation with anybody and everybody without fear, but tends to seem childish to those older than her because she is a fan of immature comments and jokes. She is also able to walk in a straight line without hitting anybody whilst reading, but forgets to turn at corners so walks into a lot of walls since her nose is always in a book.

HISTORY:
Born into a reasonably wealthy family Sai had a good beginning in life, and it only improved once her two siblings were born as being the eldest gave her a great deal of power. Her childhood and early teenage years were spent happily frequenting the local library. Her parents were never worried about her being in danger from the 'Anakronist Police' as they called them, as she always watched what she said and quite often didn't say much at all, preferring the company of her own thoughts.

However, one on particular trip to the library she had grabbed her favourite book off the shelf and had settled down to a nice long read when two people began a conversation near her. They were discussing a book that one of them had been reading, and in particular how to say one of the names, as it had silent letters and various accents that neither could work out what to do with.

"I suppose the pronounciation isn't really important to the story." One of them finally said, in an attempt to end the argument.

"It's pro-nun-ciation not pro-noun-ciation you idiots!" Sai had muttered to herself, unable to contain the words.

Immediately she had said it she clapped a hand over her mouth but it was too late. Nitpicking over ways of saying words had long been considered an Anakronism, and before she could so much as close the book, two men had appeared in front of her. She was dragged away to the carts that took the offenders to Mordor, and watched as her home disappeared into the distance. Hours and hours later the carts thundered through the gates of Mordor, and Sai saw the place she was to spend the rest of her life. One look was all it took. She leapt up and tried to get out, but she had been sitting down for so long that all the blood rushed to her head and everything went black.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Kath's post

Sai opened her eyes and immediately closed them again as the world’s strange new habit of spinning was making her feel sick. Keeping her eyes closed she slowly sat up. As she did so she realised that every part of her body ached, like the time she’d sneezed and fallen off the climbing wall. Wondering what had happened she gingerly opened her eyes, and sighed in relief when she saw that her surroundings were still again. Her sigh was followed by an exclamation of surprise and shock. Where in all of Middle-Earth was she? Looking around she could see hundreds of things that would never be found in the normal world. There were hundreds of ATMs, with the people lining up in front of them all trying to cut the queue at the same time. There were small groups of people all over the place, arguing about language and spellings and the misuse of apostrophes, things Sai had always wished to speak about but was unable to because of their Anakronist status. As she was just thinking that these people would be dragged off to Mordor any minute, she suddenly realised, when she fainted she must have fallen off the cart as they passed through the gates. She must be in Mordor!

Along with this realisation came the fear. She was in Mordor! With all the nasty anakronisms that had been sent there over the years, along with some really nasty people. Speaking of people, she noticed a large group of them all crowded round a man who seemed to be standing on a large platform. Deciding that she wasn’t about to lie on the floor all day and feel sorry for herself Sai jumped up, ignoring the protests from various parts of her body, and began to make her way over. An osteopath, who came towards her with arms outstretched, just ready to try and crush her, immediately interrupted her progress but Sai was already unhappy with her situation, and just kicked him in the shin and carried on.

Reaching the edge of the group she began to squeeze herself through the barely there gaps, suddenly grateful for her slight stature. Still, she was constantly shoved and pushed by intolerant people all the way, and so she felt no guilt about lashing a foot back at the last person to do so as she reached the front. She could now see that there were four other people in the centre with the strange man and sought to satisfy her insatiable curiosity.

“What’s going on?” she whispered to the man standing next to her. He glanced down at her disdainfully and muttered something about teenagers answering back to their elders before turning away and ignoring her completely. Irritated about this since he had not said anything she could answer back to, Sai sidled over to another person and was about to ask them the same question when she heard her name being called.

“Sai Onara is the fifth person to have been chosen by the ATM!”

The voice came from the man in the middle and Sai looked at him in surprise. She half turned, expecting to see another person who happened to have the same name coming forward, but nobody else was moving. The man repeated the name a couple of times, and eventually Sai thought she’d better step forward. As she did so he swivelled round to her.

“You are Sai Onara?” he asked.

“Er, yes but I don’t . . .” she never did finish the question as he interrupted her.

“Go and join the others over there.” He said waving a hand in the general direction of the four people she had seen before and turned back to his machine.

Sai reluctantly did as she was told, hoping that at least this motley crew would give her some answers. The Dwarf didn’t look like he’d be much help, since he had yellow pus from what looked like conjunctivitis pouring from his eyes he probably didn’t even know where he was. Seeing another girl about her own age she finally got the chance to ask what was going on.

“Don’t you know?” she had replied in astonishment. “We’re getting out of Mordor!


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok well, that's the bio, and earlier than promised!. If I've got anything wrong (quite likely it being 1 in the morning here) please just yell and I'll sort it out. First post will be up tomorrow.

EDIT: Post up too.

[littlemanpoet]

Great post, Kath! :)

Hate to bother you with this, but we're all following a general agreement to italicize the anakronisms. Folks, is that too much of a bother, or are we okay with it?

One correction, and sorry if my description was poor on this point: the ATM doesn't float in mid-air, it has merely risen from below the surface of the platform, and now stands at floor level, extending to head-height.

That's all for modifications.

I like the idea that one of the Offending Party is actually brand new to Mordor. We could have fun with that.

One more post to follow, perhaps almost immediately, to whet your appetite for what's coming...

[littlemanpoet]

Coinage & Currency of the Realm

Coins
Maggot..........1....................copper
Spider............2 (tumag)......copper
Goblin............5 maggots.....nickel
Orc................10 maggots....nickel
Crow.............20 maggots....silver
Warg............50 maggots.....silver
Troll.............100 maggots....gold
Wraith............2 trolls...........gold
Balrog.............5 trolls..........gold

Paper Currency & (very rare) coins
Dragon...............10 trolls..........mithril
Double Dragon...20 trolls..........mithril

note: this currency is no good outside Mordor, and must be exchanged at the border to the Gondorian Empire, at the rate of 20 trolls to the (supposedly equivalent) One Elessar of the Realm of Gondor.

And here are a couple websites that you will want to familiarize yourselves with:

BliddyUnnergrind (BU) (http://www.afn.org/~alplatt/tube.html)

....and....

Gawfirsakin-Piblik-Transpit (GPT) (http://www.maporama.com/share/map.asp?SESSIONID=50B823FF-E092-4349-BDED-B84D94E716E9&COUNTRYCODE=UK&_XgoGCAddress=&Zip=&State=&_XgoGCTownName=london&SEARCH_ADDRESS.x=19&SEARCH_ADDRESS.y=12&SEARCH_ADDRESS=submit) System.

2nd of the two shows the chaotic mess at Caer Pairadocks, which is misnomered as Whitehall on this ridiculous map. The blue line is the line of breakers of the Nurnien sea, which has come to be called the Tem, for some unknown and surely equally ridiculous reason. Therefore, anything below that blue line (on the map) doesn't really exist in Mordor, but can be seen vaguely as wraithlike shadows from the shore. So if you try to take the BliddyUnnergrind, or, BU, into that district, you will wind up at the shore, unless you click the heels of your shoes twice, wish really hard, and say "the magic words", then you might actually manage to get there, and drown instead.

By the way, the green spaces on these maps have not (and will not!) be assigned to Mordor, so they appear in Mordor not as open parks, but as off limits areas of toxic waste.

Edit: I changed it to BliddyUnnerground - a Londonese rendering of Bloody Underground, which I hope is clear enough.....

[Kath]

Sorry lmp I didn't realise they hadn't transferred across from word (the italicised bits). I'll go do that now. And change the description of the ATM too, I think I must have misread that.

Hmm, I think I've got them all in italics now, if anyone sees any others in there please tell me.

[piosenniel]

Bringing this forward:


Player/Character List

littlemanpoet -- Anakron Istkon Vayor (The Grand Anakronist)
Feanor of the Peredhil -- Alumìne Umfuìl (aka: Alli)
Celuien -- Panakeia
Encaitare -- Wilhelmina Brochenbach
the guy who be short -- Fléin son of Fréin
Kath -- Sai Onara
the phantom -- Mardil II
Durelin -- Valde Delego --- 1st post needed

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lmp

When the posts are in and the time is right for you and your crew, then leave a post for me with the order of posts for the RPG thread opening (by player name, please) - and I'll open the game then for you.

~*~ Pio :D

[Durelin]

Sorry...attack of what I believe might be strep throat, along with 5 tests in 3 days time... You'd think 'twere mid-terms already...

Anyway, no excuses. I will get you my post as soon as phyiscally and mentally possible.

And, just so this post doesn't consist entirely of my whining... ( ;) ) I love the monetary system. And Caer Pairadocks looks like quite the place... And I expect that Valde will want to know those "the magic words" by the end of this escapade...at the latest. :p

[littlemanpoet]

Will do, Pio.

Don't put yourself out too hard, Durelin. We don't need you turning into a cobbler ... again. :p

Magic words? What magic words. :p

[piosenniel]

Yes -- Durelin & the phantom -

Please do take your time getting your posts in. This game has all the earmarks of being a very well-written one. Work up your posts to your satisfaction (&lmp's, of course).

And pay no attention to those character lists and what's still needed by the players. That's just me keeping tabs on where you all are in the planning stages.

~*~ Pio

[littlemanpoet]

My thought on the schedule for this game is that if it's five tests, that will take five weeks; if it turns out to be six tests (just because of the creative gusto that's been building it looks like that'll be easy to mangage), then it will be six weeks.

This is going to be sort of like werewolf in on-task posting, more than once per day. Not the same level of intensity as werewolf - I can't imagine anybody doing that for six straight weeks. :eek: But it'll be a bit more on-task than a typical rpg, with a strict deadline so that you can count on when this is done.

I want us to be able to enjoy our vacations and holidays without distraction from this, and vice versa. :p So we won't start this until the week following American Thanksgiving, at the earliest. And then I expect us to take time off for both Christmas and New Year's, such that this will probably finish up in mid to late January.

Thanksgiving is on a Thursday, Christmas and New Year's both on Sunday. So:

Start (if we're ready): Monday November 28; each test/week ends on the following Sunday night. This is subject to everyone's readiness.

Christmas to New Year's off days: Friday Dec. 23 - Tuesday Jan 3.

We can even interrupt this in the middle of a "test", but we don't have to. I'm flexible.

So I'm looking at just taking a long break for the holiday, with everybody ready to bounce back to it Wed. January 4. Seem like a good plan?

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Perfect, LMP, absolutely perfect. What with a performance this week (meaning rehearsals every night except those that the shows are on), as well as professors loving to up the work-load before break, as well as me being on break starting Friday and very busy, the prospect of trying to fit this in as well over Thanksgiving had me a wee bit terrified.

[Celuien]

Looks perfect, and solves the problem of my being in London Dec 24-Jan 2. :D

My only notice is that there's a final exam on December 16th, so I might be absent (cramming ;)) on the 15th. Also, I'm being sent to Allentown on January 3. I don't know what the Internet access situation is from the dorm, so it might take me until the end of the week to make it back here if I need to find a library. Hope that's okay.

Enjoying all of the new bios and first posts. :)

[Kath]

That sounds great lmp. But, and I know this is looking a while ahead, I'm going to be away in the February half term (err that's round about the 10th to the 16th) which means I'll be able to get one post in during that week but only the one. Does that fit in with your posting regulations?

[littlemanpoet]

I think that we'll be done well before February.

As for December 16th, how dare you not be available to post on Beethoven's birthday! :mad: Just kidding. If you know in advance, like you do, you can prepare in advance. I can give you what you need to know in advance so that you can keep up; thus, if you don't, nya nya nya. :D

[the guy who be short]

On the subject of absenses, I have an exam sometime in January... I'm not sure when. But I'll be a little busy for a bit.

[the guy who be short]

List of people in Mordor:

Britney Spears
David Cameron
David Davis
Freud
Frodo
Johnny Depp
J. K. Rowling
Mario
Roald Dahl
Sam
Yoda

If people don't want to make it political, the Davids can easily be struck off, but I think it would be interesting to meet a few of the others along the way, eh?

Now, who wants conjunctivitis on the second day? It will only last a day or two.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'd like to spot Mario, please. I've had an idea. No conjunctivitis though, sorry. I'm having enough trouble with my own allergies. It's tough being allergic to three dogs that are ecstatic that you're home and feel the need to show their love by never leaving your side.

[littlemanpoet]

Save Freud and Johnny Depp for Anakron. I have plans for those two.

[Encaitare]

Now, who wants conjunctivitis on the second day? It will only last a day or two.

Hah, Wilhelmina can have conjunctivitis, as nasty as it is. (Ugh, I hate pinkeye!)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Save Freud and Johnny Depp for Anakron. I have plans for those two.
How devilishly exciting. Anything poking fun at Fraud...er... Freud, sorry... is okay with me. ;):D

[the phantom]

I added my first post here (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=428546&postcount=76).

[littlemanpoet]

I had hoped to start this week, but we're waiting for Durelin. I've PM'd her and made sure she understands that she needs to take the time she needs to, don't feel rushed. I'll keep you posted. Great first post, phantom! :)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Kath has brought something to my attention: a common enemy of all Barrowdowners. Perhaps we could incorporate this evil of evils into our game? A final battle, harder than the rest, to defeat that which is so commonly our own downfall... Prôcràs Tìnatìon. Maybe not. Entirely up to you, oh Lord Who All Small Writers Hold Dear.

[Durelin]

I am alive, therefore I write. Will have the post up soon. Planning on tomorrow.

[littlemanpoet]

Honest, I told Durelin not to put herself in too much of a rush. Honest! Looking forward to this, big time. :)

[Durelin]

Post (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=427509&postcount=58) added. I hope it's adequate... Yes, all that wait just for that... :rolleyes: ;)

Thanks for bearing with me. :)

[littlemanpoet]

Kath has brought something to my attention: a common enemy of all Barrowdowners. Perhaps we could incorporate this evil of evils into our game? A final battle, harder than the rest, to defeat that which is so commonly our own downfall... Prôcràs Tìnatìon. Maybe not. Entirely up to you, oh Lord Who All Small Writers Hold Dear.
This evil nemesis is already in Mordor. It's just a matter of figuring out where she is. And whether the current Offending Party will face her.

[littlemanpoet]

Pio, we are ready to begin.

The first posts are to be in the following order, please:

littlemanpoet playing Anakron Istkon Vayor ... & various servile maggotry of Mordor
Feanor of the Peredhil playing Alumìne Umfuìl
Celuien playing Panakeia of Harad
Encaitare playing Wilhelmina Brochenbach
the guy who be short playing Fléin son of Fréin of the Ironfists
Kath playing Sai Onara
the phantom playing Mardil II
Durelin playing Valde Delego

Once the new thread is up, please allow me to write the next post to the thread.

We begin 24 hours after Pio has the thread up (my post will up before then), and the first challenge shall last for one week's real time. Oh, if you're late, you'll get a late start.

Any questions, anybody?

[piosenniel]

The RPG thread is now open for play -- :)

A few reminders:

Please remove your signature from EVERY post to the RPG thread - including SAVES


Don't use smileys in your RPG posts or icons - e.g., http://forum.barrowdowns.com/ubb/icons/icon8.gif http://www.forum.barrowdowns.com/images/icons/WhiteTree3.gif http://forum.barrowdowns.com/ubb/icons/icon14.gif etc.


Don't use the 'Reason for Editing' function on your RPG posts. If it's critical that other players know that you've changed something, then put a post on the Discussion thread about your edit.


No OOC (out of character comments) on the RPG thread - use the Discussion thread.

Have fun! ~*~ Pio :D

[the guy who be short]

The almighty dollar eh...?

Religion and currency anybody? The Church of the Almighty Dollar? Compulsory attendance and Mass? Having to buy your own wine? And crackers? And...

Yeah. :D

[littlemanpoet]

The First Test post is up.

The ordering in which you guys post after my latest, will determine the order of the line-up (which is not that important after all, but will help clarify that little bit).

Then off you go!

[littlemanpoet]

1. Only Orcs will ever be found behind the wheel in Mordor; make sure your posts account for this.

2. Orcs have not changed since the days of the Dark Lord, except in one regard alone: their dark hearts crave respect, and so they have given mighty efforts to accomplishing a thin veneer of civilization. Therefore, they have turned into perfect bureaucrats: overly officious, tending to use "overly" correct English, which means a latinate word where a good Anglo-Saxon one will do. If you're not sure what that means, any word that ends in "tion" is latinate. Any word beginning with "con", "pro", or any of those three letter prefixes, is likely to be latinate. The one exception to the overly correct usage is when they're behind the wheel, and they revert to the most beastly talk.

I think that about covers it.

So I need to go back and edit the talk of Lûgnût too. :rolleyes:

[littlemanpoet]

White-All is identical with the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben, across Whitehall Street from Westminster Abbey. Obviously, you won't find Caer Pairadocks on this map; those darned Orcs are always forgetting it. :p

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

2. Orcs have not changed since the days of the Dark Lord, except in one regard alone: their dark hearts crave respect, and so they have given mighty efforts to accomplishing a thin veneer of civilization. Therefore, they have turned into perfect bureaucrats: overly officious, tending to use "overly" correct English, which means a latinate word where a good Anglo-Saxon one will do. If you're not sure what that means, any word that ends in "tion" is latinate. Any word beginning with "con", "pro", or any of those three letter prefixes, is likely to be latinate. The one exception to the overly correct usage is when they're behind the wheel, and they revert to the most beastly talk.
Sounds Vogon-esque to me. Do they write poetry? :p

[littlemanpoet]

Sounds Vogon-esque to me. Do they write poetry? :pYeaaaaah, I knowwwww. :rolleyes: But there are not signs in Mordor that wap you in the nose for having an idea.

No, they leave the poetry to the Pretentious Professorial Trolls who speak overwrought Jamesian English at the University of Mordor.

[the phantom]

I see you sent in some vans to whisk us away to seperate locations, but I didn't see that a van had been sent for Alli. Do you have some some sort of curveball planned for her, lmp, or can I bring her along with me?

[the guy who be short]

What the phantom said, minus the Alli. Does Flèin have to find his own way around, or is a van coming?

Internet access might be a little tight for a few days, maybe a week or more. I'll most likely post at least once a day, but won't be as commited as I could be.

I'm also busy all next Monday with a Prizegiving ceremony, so no posts then.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Do you have some some sort of curveball planned for her, lmp, or can I bring her along with me?
And here I thought that my moody and potentially violent dear Alli would be bringing you along with her. :p Sure you still want to travel with the lass? Hehe.

And yeah... am I about to get vanned? :eek: Not that I'd mind, of course... curveballs make me smile.

[the phantom]

Sure you still want to travel with the lass?
Oh, yes. Unless lmp has something planned for you, I could use a traveling companion. And since Sai is right there with you, it would make sense if she joined the party.
curveballs make me smile
Well, if you end up going my way, I promise I will throw you a nice curveball or two. ;)

As long as you don't get "vanned", we will be able to meet up again fairly shortly, even if you can't get into my van (though I think I can convince the driver to take on an extra passenger or two). I already have a little something partially worked out. Unfortunately, I have to go to work now, so I can't write it up until later this evening. But, seeing as we have an entire week, I don't think that'll be a problem.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Well, if you end up going my way, I promise I will throw you a nice curveball or two.
And I'll bat them out of the park. If LMP allows us to travel together, you just wait... I've got a few ideas.

Magazines give excellent inspiration.

[Celuien]

I've just sent Panakeia on her way to the BliddyUnnergrind. Is there anything special she should find there? And would anyone like to run into her on the trip?

[littlemanpoet]

I see you sent in some vans to whisk us away to seperate locations, but I didn't see that a van had been sent for Alli. Do you have some some sort of curveball planned for her, lmp, or can I bring her along with me?
You can bring her along ... if she proves willing. You are free agents. I will not explicate. :cool:

[littlemanpoet]

What the phantom said, minus the Alli. Does Flèin have to find his own way around, or is a van coming?

Internet access might be a little tight for a few days, maybe a week or more. I'll most likely post at least once a day, but won't be as commited as I could be.

I'm also busy all next Monday with a Prizegiving ceremony, so no posts then.
You'll probably fall behind, but you will have opportunity to catch up afterward. As Kath has already learned, you'll get no sympathy from me for falling behind. :smokin:

What the phantom said, minus the Alli. Does Flèin have to find his own way around, or is a van coming? No more vans for now. My plan in this case was to "curveball" any player who hadn't posted yet by the time I got done with work. Fléin may join if he likes.

...am I about to get vanned?[/qutoe]No. I have worse things saved up for you.

[quote=Celuien]I've just sent Panakeia on her way to the BliddyUnnergrind. Is there anything special she should find there? And would anyone like to run into her on the trip?A trip via the bliddyunnergrind will cost her 2 trolls, 50 maggots, one way. She'll find street musicians down in the corridors, which are full of litter and spit, chewed up gum, cigarette butts, rude people, people in a bliddy rush, et cetera. Typical city life only Mordorian to boot. Use your imagination.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

No. I have worse things saved up for you.
I shiver in anticipation.

[littlemanpoet]

A point of clarity just in case it's needed:

Don't wait for me to post continuations of the van action. I will intervene periodically in each character's story; it's up to you to run with it after that. Sorry for not setting up that expectation earlier.

[the phantom]

After Alli and Sai both post I will bring the whole van incident into my next post, so don't worry lmp, I'm not ignoring it. ;)

[the phantom]

Okay, I know I said I'd do it in my next post, but I think I feel the need for our characters to agree to travel together before I toss the van in, so that's when it will happen.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Congratulations... Mardil's got Alli thoroughly confused about the way she feels about him. Should she be annoyed that she has to travel with a noble when she so very much hates the way the government is run? Should she be glad for the protection? Should she admit that she is happy for the help, or deny that she needs it in the first place? Poor Mardil gets to travel with an emotionally confused teenage girl. Lucky him.

Now... bring on the vans. :p

[Kath]

I popped in the vans at the end of my post but Mardil can take it from there.

[Encaitare]

I've finally put up a post. Apologies for the delay -- college auditions are not fun. Just to let you know, LMP, my computer time will be quite limited from December 9-11 due to the fact that I have to drive 8 hours to go to another audition. I'll still be able to post, though.

Later tonight, I shall write another post (or at least begin one) about Wilhelmina's experiences on the reality show. (Great idea, by the way!)

[Celuien]

A trip via the bliddyunnergrind will cost her 2 trolls, 50 maggots, one way. She'll find street musicians down in the corridors, which are full of litter and spit, chewed up gum, cigarette butts, rude people, people in a bliddy rush, et cetera. Typical city life only Mordorian to boot. Use your imagination.

Okay, thanks!

Street musicians, eh? I think I know just the song for them.

[the phantom]

Fea and Kath, feel free to start us on our way to RCA records. Once there, perhaps we will meet a performer or two who has been assigned to Mordor. Sound good? :)

[Encaitare]

Wilhelmina's been acting a bit like a diva... this is too much fun. :D

Fea, I talked to the phantom about my idea and he's cool with it. I'll be doing that in my next post, either later tonight or tomorrow.

[the phantom]

Fea and Kath- once we arrive at RCA feel free to pull in any sorts of music or celebs that have been assigned to Mordor, except Britney Spears. I'll take care of her.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Did you notice, tp? There was an undelivered official looking document saying Alli's supposed to be dancing with her. :smokin:

I daresay that their personalities won't mesh well. And if Mardil gets all infatuated with her, I daresay Alli might *gasp* be upset by it. But will she know if it's jealousy or pure annoyance that he could sink so low? But then again, I think Alli's gonna meet one or two emo kids. We'll see...

[the phantom]

Did you notice, tp? There was an undelivered official looking document saying Alli's supposed to be dancing with her.
Yes, yes- just make sure and don't toss me into the same room with her... yet. ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Yes, yes- just make sure and don't toss me into the same room with her... yet. ;)
Okay.

[the phantom]

Just so we are all clear on the exact time, we need to be in Edge-Where by Wednesday at 4:41 PM EST, right lmp?

If so, then we have plenty of time. We will arrive at RCA tomorrow and as long as we get ourselves out of there headed towards Edge-Where sometime on Tuesday we will be fine. That gives us tomorrow night, Monday, and early Tuesday to wreak havoc at the record company. :)

And Enca, as long as you put your idea into motion by Monday everything will be fine, so don't feel like you have to rush things if you want to continue being a diva for another day. :p

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Oh this is going to be fun. :D But what will the Gondorians at home think? :eek:

[the guy who be short]

Righto. Here's a combined, alphabetic version of the two and a half lists LMP posted on the N&N thread. For those interested, there are 458 assigned things listed here, and that's only half the thread...

In any case, it should be a handy little (er...) research tool.

6 am flights
6th Form
ache that comes from flossing after a long hiatus
acute paranoia
adjectives used in place of adverbs
adults who do not remember how it is to be young
adults who think moody teenagers care about the difficulties of being a parent
adults who think teens' negative thought are due to hormones and moodiness alone
Adware
after-date paranoia
airports
alarm clocks
algebra
All cats, except ones with no claws that can play without biting and come when you call them.
allergic conjunctivitis
allergies and all of their varied symptoms
American spelling
annoying English teachers
annoying guys who provide the voiceovers at the end of infomercials and commercials
anything boring
anything that keeps one from playing WW games
apathetic English teachers
apostrophe mis-users
ATMs
attempting to accomplish Orkish havoc characterized as "doing nothing"
attendance office at school with wrong information
authors of 'bad-ism' allegories
Axe-murderers (in a soon to be released ATM near you....)
bad email software
bad habits
bad thinking behind banning computer access while allowing long phone calls
bad translations
bad weather
Bags of candy that come to an end too soon
Balrog Wingers
banning of the internet
Bar chords...hardest notes to play on the guitar
being bashful around people you know you'll get on excellent with
Being Forbidden from entering The Barrowdowns
being introverted
Being left at school because answering machine didn't work right
being out of clean clothes
being too sick to flirt (watch out, ATM ladies - 'she was just about to flirt with the cute boy when suddenly she felt sick enough to puke')
'Big Brother' television
Biology Lab partner who looks down your blouse
black flies
black licorice
blisters from unbroken argyle flats
blisters from unbroken flip flops
blisters from wearing huge boots
Books that look interesting on the covers but are not inside.
books written by Roald Dahl
boredom
boring English teachers
Braces
Breast cancer
British spelling
British television miniseries
British transportation system
Britney Spears
budget cuts
bugs
Bullies
bus drills in gym class where they make you jump off the back of the bus
busy-work
canonicity
CAPs lockers
CaptainofDespair (cameo role?)
'Caucasian' used to categorize or describe white people
celebrity magazines
cell phones
chapped lips
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (book & movies)
'chavs'
chewing gum spat out, covering pavement
children who cannot see how much they mean to their parents
cigarette smokers
cigarettes
classes where everybody's opinion is different from yours
classes you hate but still do well in
classy heels required for business attire
Coke
Cold snaps
cold viruses
colds
college applications
college applications as more important than wreaking Orkish havoc in an RPG
college dorm parties
college placement tests
Collegiate insomnia
comic sans font
computer game which does not let you save your progress whenever you want
computer viruses
computers that screw up while using them
conjunctivitis
constipation
'cope'
corsets
country music
Creepy teachers
criticism about, not to, a person
crystal clear bad memories
customer service departments that keep you on hold a little bit longer than forever
Customs checks
dangling prepositions
deadlines
Declaring feelings to somebody and them not returning them
democracy
dentists
Department of Motor Vehicles
depression
diamonds
diarrea (you ATM players are really in for it!)
difference between English and American spelling
dirty dishes
Disney
distributors of speed cameras
dog bites
dog clothes
dogs that bite (mean, nasty, clothes wearing dogs that bite in ATM)
dogs that can't be housebroken
door to door sales people
double negatives
Dread Backspace Button Of Doom ... which works like internet 'back' command
dread from finding a check you thought you mailed to pay a bill
drivers who drive through a flood at top speed
drivers who ignore pedestrians
early classes
Easy driving tests!
elastic bands in braces
emergency rooms
empty tubes of chap stick
English
English classes
Eomer of the Rohirrim (cameo role?)
errant pronunciations of the name "Bach"
evil, sarcastic, sadistic teachers
ex-boyfriends
excess mucous
Excess phlegm (and I mean, really in for it!)
extroverts who try to make conversation when you are not in the mood
facial spots
fan fiction
fathers who think they know everything about computers & delete your programs
Films based on books that radically alter storylines
final exams
finding a whole chick pea lurking in your braces 6 hours after your last meal
fish
flash software
flat tires
Flies
flight delays
food poisoning
forgetting how to draw
Forgetting what you wanted to post
frat parties
French teacher
Frodo and Sam with cameo roles in LMP's Mordor RP
frog ring tones
fruitcakes
fume and stench
furry animals
general heat
Generic, uninventive Tolkien fanfiction
geography teachers
geometry
German
getting a paragraph in reply to a five page letter
getting lynched on the first Day of Werewolf
getting up early
girls that claim to be LOTR fans because of Legolas
going to bed when it's light out
going to work on Saturday
Going to work on Saturday to Mordor.
government trying to improve people
ground spitters
guys who think pretty girls are always dumb
halitosis (bad breath caused by gingivitis)
'have got'
having no common language
having the wrong textbook with a looming test
having to share a laundry facility with 140 women
havng to wait until LMP says so to watch that madly fun sounding RP unfold
hayfever
headaches
Heatwaves
heavy traffic
history of language
Hollywood
Hollywood and its fruitcakes
Homework
hot weather
hovering parents
huge workloads
human tongue
hundred degree greenhouse
Hurricanes
hurting knees
hypocritical parents
i.b. exam (?)
Idiotic bees
ignorant fools
inability to breathe
inability to turn down food dares
inconsiderate customers
incorrect written use of its and it's
incorrect written use of your and you're
institutional food
intolerant people
inventor of shoes that are loose around the ankles but tight on the toes
irrational fear of phone calls
Jamesian English speakers
JK Rowling (cameo?)
Johnny Depp (cameo?)
know nothing nurses
'kotex fits. period' (billboards in ATM)
lack of published Quenya
lack of the Assigned to Mordor RPG (now that would be weird!)
lawn mowing
leaches
lemmings
Level 81 in the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
liability paranoids
library freeloaders
lima beans
lima beans
litter
litterbugs
local press
Locker combinations that get stuck
long road trips
Lord of the Rings note books ... sold out
mandatory meeting right after sweaty excerise
Mario
Mary Sues
math
medication tolerance
men who hit women
men who proposition random girls
Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones (is there an intelligent way of doing it?)
mice
migraines
misused homophones
mobile phones
modern world's way of taking all the fun out of life
monosodium glutimate
Mosquitos
Multiple lynching in Werewolf (need to work this into ATM somehow...)
'my bad'
'myself and ______'
nagging mothers
nagging parents
nagging thoughts you realize you should have listened to
neighbours who put up large aluminum sheds which block all sun from your garden
New computers
news report sound bites
nightmares
nights when there is a full moon (so it's always a full moon in Mordor)
noisy air conditioners
nonstandard word users
not being in the same class with your friends
Not having enough time for PMs
nuclear bombs
'nuculer'
'official Wendy's guy'
offspring who don't understand the difficulties of being a parent
off-topic posts
Once respectable people who sell their soul by acting in lousy commercials
online college application forms
osteopaths who try to crush you
Overplayed songs
overzealous political correctness
Packing
pain from first ever dance class
papercuts
parents
parents and their children
Parents who abuse their children
parents who brag about their children
parents who cannot understand their children
parents who name their kids badly
parents who think that you're nervous about leaving for college in the morning when you're not
Pedestrians who walk in the street when there is a perfectly good sidewalk ten feet away.
people always in a rush
People on IM who sign in and out repeatedly
People who "don't get" fantasy or sci-fi.
People who "don't get" Strong Bad.
People who are constantly worried about offending someone
people who are easily offended
People who are easily offended should go to Mordor.
people who are horrified by 'weird' food combinations
people who are overly worried about offending others
People who believe that they are the only important beings in the universe
people who claim that the advert breaks are no louder than the programmes
people who don't turn up for meetings they set
People who don't understand introverts
People who drive really slow and stop at corners that don't have stop signs and generally act lost.
people who give away spoilers to books and movies without warning
people who hate white chocolate
people who have no regard for others
People who litter instead of using a trash can 15 feet away
people who make fun of people with asthma
people who pay with change
people who pronounce it Ray-min noodles
people who repeatedly don't show up when you invite them
people who say 'it's not rocket science'
people who spill liquor wantonly
people who spit gum out on to the pavement
People who tailgate when you are going the speed limit or above
People who think everyone should get out and vote.
People who think popularity equals quality.
People who think Republicans should go to Mordor.
people who think that a Straight Edge lifestyle means you've got a gang mentality
people who use personal grief as an excuse to treat other peple badly
people who wearing sockless sandals bring small space heaters to warm up the space under their desks
people with gender double standards
people you thought were your friends stabbing you in the back
permanent paranoia of law enforcement officers
Personal statements on college applications
perverts
Phonetics
Phys. Ed. teachers who ignore the fact of your asthma
piles of wet tissues that come with allergies
pimples
Pineapple
political correctness
political correctness
political correctness ignoramuses
politicians
pop drinkers
pop-up ads
Portuguese men of war
possums
Practice job interviews with your parents
pretentious pronunciation of foreign words and phrases
pretentious pronunciations
pretentious silent letters
pretentious use of silent letters
process by which one's wisdom teeth are removed
procrastination
Psychics
PT Cruisers
purple ketchup
pushy and angsty cousins
Quadratic Function
queue cutters
rabbit bites
rabbits
raccoons
racism
rap music
Rap music
reality television
really heavy textbooks
red food coloring
religious fundamentalist terrorists
repair shops that are behind schedule
ridiculous conspiracy theories
ridiculous conspiracy theorists
rising gas prices
Road Construction during the worst time of the year
road rage
Roald Dahl
role of Ranger in werewolf
Rumor-mongering
rumors that idiots spread
'sanguine'
SAT supporters
Saturday morning classes
Sauron's finger and its army
SAVEs
scary professors
school districts that separate best friends to different schools
school uniform
school when it is absolutely pointless
Screwing up a simple drawing
shrieking early birds
skinned knees
Slipping on garbage left by others in streets
slivers
slugs
snorers
snotty Sarumans
snotty upperclassmen
soap operas
Soaps.
soccer
social conventions of enduring arrogant people with politeness
Soda & coke drinkers
Sore throats
SPAM
Speed cameras
spell checkers
spider bites
splinters
spoilt kids that howl on the street
sports physicals
spyware
squirrels
standard English
Standard Of Learning tests that force teachers to teach "to the test"
stereotypers
strip searches at airports
stubbed toes
students who insist on coming to school when they are sick
stupid people
summer air conditioning that is set far, far too cold
summer reading books
sunburn
sweat patches
tax code writers
tax collectors
Teachers who don't make maths interesting and explain it properly
teenagers
teens who don't understand that parents see their children as extensions of themselves
Telemarketers who switch the long-distance service you've told them you're happy with
telemarketing companies
telephones
terrorists
text books that cost over a hundred bucks a piece and that they have no used versions of
The Saucepan Man (cameo role?)
thieves
thongs
thoughts that won't get properly organized to post a serious post to a Books thread
tomato hornworms
Tooth fillings that begin to peel off
traveling
trying to figure out where to go to University
Tteens who don't understand that parents see their children as extensions of their own bodies and souls,.
UCAS applications
unfriendly computers
unidentified phone caller
unnecessary aspects of plot
unpredictable kilns
used Handkerchiefs
vacation being over
vectors
VIRUSES
vomit
war
Warranties that expire right before something breaks down
water that accidentally gets inhaled
watered down drinks
Wednesdays
wet used handkerchief in your pocket
When you really like a thread but can't think of anything to say
white chocolate
whoever decided to make Lucius Malfoy so attractive in the Harry Potter films
windshield wiper blades that always streak in the line of vision (the orcs behind the wheel driving cars - with flat tires - too fast in Mordor should love this)
'witch' at the other end of the office
Working any time before noon
worries that pick at the mind whether traveling will be safe
worst subjects all in the same semester
Yankees announcers
year-long redundant teachers
Yellow cars (and all PT Cruisers at that!)
Yoda
You are judged by the company you keep. (to be on billboards in Mordor)

[littlemanpoet]

Just so we are all clear on the exact time, we need to be in Edge-Where by Wednesday at 4:41 PM EST, right lmp?

Officially, Wednesday, 12-07-05, 06:41 PM EST.

If so, then we have plenty of time. We will arrive at RCA tomorrow and as long as we get ourselves out of there headed towards Edge-Where sometime on Tuesday we will be fine. That gives us tomorrow night, Monday, and early Tuesday to wreak havoc at the record company.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances (coughinterventionscough), yes.

[littlemanpoet]

Just a collection of some of my favorites, so far, since I can only rep you guys every 20. If you wish to add to this particular "sub-thread", just use the above wording in the "Title" field of your post.

The rating system below is purely subjective, based on my own reactions to what you guys have written.

10 rotfl
9 lmao
8 uncontrollable giggling
7 burst out laughing
6 good laugh
5 grin
4 smile
3 smirk
2 great stuff
1 good stuff

It's all making me smile, smirk, and it's all great stuff, so I'm not counting anything below a 5.

"Daddy, look, that lady is giving her hat lunch!" a small girl noted, tugging on her father's sleeve. - Enca~7

"Fléin son of Fréin of the Ironfoots" the Grand Anakronist cried, his voice rolling through the courtyard.

"Ironfeet!" injected an annoying English teacher. - Guy~6

Fea's entire post after leaving Caer PairadocksFea~8

He was smacked in the face by pure shock as the Trolls began bodily placing him on a litter, and though it was quite comfortable, and he was getting a lead role, Valde made a show of struggling. “No! O untimely official looking document, I never once did know thy bitter taste till now!”

“He is good, isn’t he?” the Troll carrying the back of the litter said to the one in front. - Durelin~7

"Thank you." The Orc deposited the Troll in a box marked "Paid" and handed Panakeia a receipt. As he turned and walked back into the crowd, he called out "Have a nice day, and remember, a frown is just a smile turned upside down." Panakeia gaped at the Orc. Could he possibly be any more absurd? - Celuien~8

A man wearing a lot of bling-bling hopped out of the passenger side and strutted up to Mardil, using one hand to hold up his overly large and baggy pants. - the phantom~7

"So, tell us a few things about yourself, Ms. Brokenback," the host, who had introduced himself as Karís Mâtiktwít said with a grin of dubious sincerity and hue. - Enca~9 ('single item' winner so far)

The woman shrugged. Suddenly her face contorted, nose wrinkled, upper lip drawn back, and eyes squeezed even more tightly shut than before. She grabbed at Panakeia's scarf, which was instantly pulled back by a ducking Panakeia, and sneezed, spraying the business-suited man behind with cold virus. - Celuien~7

Red line to Potted Ham Court Road, change trains for Edge-Where. - Celuien~6

"Good morning, afternoon, evening and morning again! Welcome to the Rût’s Lip Garden Station. My name is Tiffany. It is my pleasure to serve you with a smile." Here she smiled, baring a row of yellow, jagged teeth. One was gold, and another had Tiffany's gum on it. - Celuien~7

When the man looked properly respectful, fearful, and reminiscent of somebody about to wet himself, Alli straightened his bling for him and patted him on the head. - Fea~5

"I said fruitcake!" - Enca~6

Cumulative totals so far:

Enca~22
Guy~6
Fea~13
Durelin~7
Celuien~28
the phantom~7
Kath~nuthin' yet (suggestion: do more with the fact that your character's the only complete newby in Mordor)

Cumulative winner of this round: Celuien!~ Yay!
Honorable mention: Enca
Heck, you guys are all incredible. :)

[littlemanpoet]

This is necessarily a shorter list:

Celuien: orc giving Panakeia a ticket

Celuien: the unnerground street musicians scamming sympathetic types - and what a song!

Feanor: claustrophobia in the van

the phantom: having RCA be close to Edge-where. Clever!

the guy who be short: Willy Wonka in Mordor - chortle!

[the guy who be short]

For anybody having difficulty finding Edgware on the map LMP supplied, may I suggest www.multimap.com (http://www.multimap.com). Just type in Edgware, and you're done.

6 points eh? I'll need to work on that...

[Celuien]

Why, thank you, lmp. Writing this and reading all of the great posts from my fellow assignees has been too much fun. :D

I'm not quite finished with my street musicians yet. If there are no objections from tp, Fea or Kath, they'll be on their way to RCA shortly. But first there's the matter of a little trip through the Potted Ham Court Road station and some conversation to pass the time on the train (probably two more posts).

[the phantom]

Well, we're at RCA. Feel free to redo the van trip from your point of view and move us on into the RCA building.

We don't want RCA thugs chasing us throughout the game, so be sure and don't walk out and break the contract. We'll make them back out of the contract. ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

"I'm suing!" screamed the bleeding lawyer in front of the van.
Brilliant stuff, tp. I love it. And don't worry... they'll regret dragging Alli along pretty soon. Especially if she can manage to meet the head of the company. Poor man...

:D

[the phantom]

I'm going to kick back until Sai and Alli wrap up the van trip and get us into RCA, so don't wait for me.
they'll regret dragging Alli along pretty soon
Yes, yes- Alli's ability to make people regret having her around will be extremely useful in getting us out of our contract. :)
But what will the Gondorians at home think? :eek:
Gondorians? Whatever are you talking about. *wink*

But seriously, most of them will be thinking "This is great television!"

Your family on the other hand.... :p

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I've changed my mind about the head of the company. I don't think Britney's happy with Alli right now though...

All you guys have to do is get found by the guy Alli sent and make your way to a stage deep in the building. Don't ask why there's a stage in a recording studio... it just happened. :rolleyes: Unless they're recording music videos on stage? Who knows.

But somebody had better get Alli that Dasani or she's going to go looking for it. :D

[the phantom]

All you guys have to do is get found by the guy Alli sent and make your way to a stage deep in the building.
He will find me on the top floor negotiating our contract. I'll pull the wool over their eyes and make sure the contract has a way for us to get out of it easily without any penalties.

After we are all down there with you on the stage, an enraged Britney will show up and make some demands- some of which will help us. The ones that are harmful to us, well... I'll persuade Brit to drop those demands by using my eloquent tongue... to, err... talk to her of course.

[Encaitare]

Since I won't be able to post until about 5 PM EST tomorrow, I decided to get Wilhelmina away from Karis and the show now... phantom and Fea, you can have him show up anytime you like. :)

[the phantom]

you can have him show up anytime you like
Oh, good. I'll bump into Karis as I'm leaving the office to join Alli and Sai.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Unless I get some unexpected free time, Alli's going to be sitting on that stage until somebody shows up. You're welcome to take a while... I'll just have her be that much moodier for having to wait later on. I've got a lot of work to do in the next few days. I set it up so that there'd be at least a few posts before I need to put in another one. Much though I like curveballs, please don't throw any at me immediately or I won't be able to handle them. *mutters about the paper she's trying to finish (on page 13!), the research she hasn't started yet, the other paper she hasn't started, the two final projects that need to be started and completed... etcetera*

[the guy who be short]

Sorry - a little rushed today due to prizegiving. Will italicise anakronisms tomorrow.

[Durelin]

*much rejoicing* I managed a 7 with my one little post!

And sorry for it being so lonely...ended up with a physics project from...well, Mordor. :rolleyes: ;)

I shall get Valde moving very soon... For now I've only gotten the chance to read up some. Brilliant, all!

[Celuien]

Sorry I haven't been in today. Things are sort of hectic right now and I only have about 10 minutes at a time to check in. I'll catch up tomorrow when I'm off...

[littlemanpoet]

Unless I get some unexpected free time, Alli's going to be sitting on that stage until somebody shows up.Well, somebody showed up. Hope you like it. :snicker:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Well, somebody showed up. Hope you like it. :snicker:
I am most definately going to get revenge for this. I hope you get really paranoid about it too. You've just been called every bad word in the book and I have to say, my dear man, that you haven't got a speck of honorificabilitudinitatibus in you if you're willing to throw a curve ball at a poor college kid that's trying to survive the week before her first ever official finals week. :( I hope you feel REALLY guilty about it too.

Edit: I've done what I could. If the phantom can't help me out on this, or if someone else can't unexpectedly go get Alli from the balrog, she's going to be hanging out beneath Lundun for a while.

[the phantom]

I'm hoping I'll be free to catch up reading the thread and then make a post at around 4:00 and then again later tonight. I will for sure be able to make a lengthy post tomorrow morning.

So, if you are still unable to post, Fea, Sai or I will take care of you.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Thanks. I owe you one. *runs off to finish writing a paper on "how attending performances changed my life" :rolleyes:*

[littlemanpoet]

I am most definately going to get revenge for this. I hope you get really paranoid about it too. You've just been called every bad word in the book and I have to say, my dear man, that you haven't got a speck of honorificabilitudinitatibus in you if you're willing to throw a curve ball at a poor college kid that's trying to survive the week before her first ever official finals week. :( I hope you feel REALLY guilty about it too.

Cackle!

Guilty? Not a bit.

No sympathy. Just ask Kath.

Paranoid? Even less.

This is Mordor, after all.

"Herculean" is the operative word regarding these tests.

;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

"Herculean" is the operative word regarding these tests.
And here I thought we were testing characters... not the ability of their writers to add an extra few hours in the day to accomodate extra things that they had thought they'd had worked out. I'm not Herculean, LMP.

[Kath]

phantom would you mind waiting til I get my post up? I was planning on running into you and informing you of Alli's disappearance but I have to get hold of what I wrote first. It'll be up - 3 hours from now for definite, that ok?

[the phantom]

I was planning on running into you and informing you of Alli's disappearance
Perfect. Just so long as you find me up in the main RCA office.

And make sure and don't say what happened to her out loud. Whisper it to Mardil so none of the execs hear it. I don't want the news to reach the RCA President until after he and I have signed our contract. Trust me- it'll work out beautifully.

When I get home after work tonight I will put into action the plan that will wiggle us out of our RCA contract- and then we'll go and save Fea.

Since all three of us ran into serious time constraints these past couple days, we might have to take the reality tv people along with us and just get rid of them during the next week's challenge.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Sounds good guys. I've posted as much as I can for now. When you save Alli, make sure she hasn't found out the rest of the balrog's story. I'd like Roggie of Morgoth to be one of my random carry-along characters. He'll show up from now on at very unexpected times. He'll work well for my other side-plot that you guys will understand soon enough. And if Mardil somehow injures him or at least makes him really mad before taking Alli away with him (she won't want to leave, just so you know), all the better.

Thanks guys.

[Kath]

OK I'm done! Take it away phantom. Oh and Fea I stole one of Alli's gloves because I couldn't think of how else I'd know she'd gone down the hole, apologies!

[Celuien]

Post edited to bring Panakeia to the RCA building. Let's go rescue Alli! :D

[the phantom]

I'll be starting work on the mother of all posts as soon as I do a couple more things. Expect it around midnight EST.

[littlemanpoet]

And here I thought we were testing characters... not the ability of their writers to add an extra few hours in the day to accomodate extra things that they had thought they'd had worked out. I'm not Herculean, LMP.

Do you want me to go easy on you?

[littlemanpoet]

As I implied earlier, if you get behind the wheel of a car in Mordor, you turn into an orc. It's part of the Anakronism Dweomer. Once you step out of the vehicle, you will turn back into yourself in about a minute's time. Please work this into all of your future posts.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Do you want me to go easy on you?
If I thought you'd have something slightly more than "no sympathy", I'd say "Not easy, but maybe, just for this week, a little easier."

No matter though... the phantom already agreed to help (thanks yet again) and Kath and Celuien enthusiastically joined the cause. No need for you to change anything. It's been taken care of.

[littlemanpoet]

If I thought you'd have something slightly more than "no sympathy", I'd say "Not easy, but maybe, just for this week, a little easier."
It won't work that way. Yes or no?

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

It won't work that way. Yes or no?
Don't bother. I'll figure it out myself.

[littlemanpoet]

Good choice.

[the phantom]

Okay, Fea, Kath, and Celuien, I've done my part. :)

Rehash the rescue from your point of view if you have time, but at least make sure and write yourself (and me) into Edge-Where.

[Celuien]

Alrighty. We are now in Edge-Where. :)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Oh my... you guys sedated Alli?!? How could you? :p Looks like Mardil's not going to be viewed as a dashing chivalrous hero any time soon... 'least not by Alli.

[Celuien]

Oh my... you guys sedated Alli?!? How could you? :p Looks like Mardil's not going to be viewed as a dashing chivalrous hero any time soon... 'least not by Alli.

Hehe, it looks that way. I've edited my narrative of the ride to account for the change in situation.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

The phantom's cold virus. On my "hey, that's amusing and clever" scale, it gets an 8.

[Encaitare]

Wilhelmina has met up with the group of Mardil and Co; that is my last post for this week's Challenge. :)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'm done for this Challenge also. Alli will come to for the next set of instructions.

[the phantom]

I'd like to post, but I don't have time. But Mardil's in Edge-Where, so I won't worry about it.

Fea- I guess we'll have to wait until the beginning of the next challenge for our characters to have it out with each other. It's going to be fun screaming at each other. :D

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fea- I guess we'll have to wait until the beginning of the next challenge for our characters to have it out with each other. It's going to be fun screaming at each other. :D
Yes... yes it is. Do you want to work together on that post via PM before we post it up or do you want to just work off each other in short posts?

And we never got to do the Britney thing. Should we have her show back up somewhere down the line to finish off that bit of plot?

[the phantom]

And we never got to do the Britney thing. Should we have her show back up somewhere down the line to finish off that bit of plot?
Only if it is convenient. If this last round is any indication, things are going to be plenty difficult without us adding a bunch to the mix.
Do you want to work together on that post via PM before we post it up or do you want to just work off each other in short posts?
I had a little idea yesterday of how we could orchestrate the inevitable fireworks. I'll pm you with the suggestion. ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I had a little idea yesterday of how we could orchestrate the inevitable fireworks. I'll pm you with the suggestion. ;)
I await it eagerly.

[littlemanpoet]

And we never got to do the Britney thing. Should we have her show back up somewhere down the line to finish off that bit of plot?

You guys worked the "RCA" in directions I hadn't foreseen. I had planned the MDC&R setting for the star studdedness, so you'll get another chance.

[littlemanpoet]

If this last round is any indication, things are going to be plenty difficult without us adding a bunch to the mix.

The moderator is currently not disposed toward doing interventions.

[littlemanpoet]

We're going to let Night be from now until Thursday, when I put up the next post, which will include the instructions for the next test.

Durelin, post as often or seldom as you like from now until then. If you have any questions, please ask.

[littlemanpoet]

I didn't bother to calculate scores this time. Feel free if you like.

posts 37 - 58

10 rotfl
9 lmao
8 uncontrollable giggling
7 burst out laughing
6 good laugh
---------------------
"Native Mordorian, please," the Orc simpered. - Guy~7
----------------------
Fléin asked about the menu, and was told to choose from "a burger, large, medium or small, either cat, fish, lemming, possum, rabbit, raccoon, squirrel or any other furry animal, with optional purple ketchup, or else a bag, large, medium or small, of candy, flies, liquorice, bees, or slugs. There's also a choice of lima beans, chocolate, chewing gum or fruitcake, - Guy~6 LMP says: "Eeeewwwwww!"

"Medium lemmingburger, please, and hold the purple ketchup," he replied. -Guy~6
--------------
"Aw, sorry 'bout that hom- uh, Mardil. Heh- that's a tight name, man- Maarrrdiiilll! S'got a ring to it, ya know. Maaarrrdiiiillll!! Ha ha ha!" Mardil shook his head. He was beginning to regret switching seats. Oblivious to Mardil's annoyance, the man continued. "Mardil... Let's go chill with Mardil! Ya can't hold still with Mardil! Let's pop some pills with Mardil! Yeah, ha ha! Your name'll be real useful when we start bustin' out with some rhymes! "

"Oh, goodie," said Mardil. - the phantom~7
-------------
"I'm suing!" screamed the bleeding lawyer in front of the van - the phantom~6
--------------
Before she could say a word, he had showed her an official looking document with a lot of fine print and an impressive looking signature with a rather large number of loops and squiggles that seemed to spell out "Anakron" or at least "Anakin"... or perhaps it said "A Napkin"? - Feanor~6
------------
Madonnarwen -Feanor~7
-------------
"Where? Where?" simpered Karís, Double Dragon signs dancing in his eyes. - Encaitare~7
-------------
Spam, bacon, sausage, and spam, 1 troll, 25 maggots
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon, and spam, 1 troll, 50 maggots
Spam, sausage, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam, 2 trolls - Celuien~8
------------
Troubled dreams filled her mind. She was in a dark tunnel, her feet trapped in a soggy floor of melting spam. - Celuien~6
------------
There were also a number of police officers, but they appeared quite useless, as all they did was say, "What's all this, then?" - Encaitare~6
-----------
"Bruv? I am Fléin, Fréin's son of the Orocarni. I am no brother of thine," Fléin accidentally slipped into Jamesian English. - Guy~6
---------------
The rest of the walk passed without major incidence, unless you wished to count a dog jumping onto him, tearing off part of his beard and running off on its tartan-clad, furry little way. - Guy~6
---------------
“Ah, playwrights. ’Tis a sorry state indeed, that most of thy kind live their fruitful lives unbeknownst to most eyes and ears, until their death bed doth bring them fame.” - Durelin~6
---------------
The troll who had voiced the question immediately snapped back at his comrade. “No, thou art a beslubbering pottle-deep coxcomb, and thoust would not know a pillow from a hedgerow!” - Durelin~6 - LMP says: "Wow!"
------------------------
The new Trollonius stopped to look at his fellow troll. “What on earth are you gibbering about?” -Durelin~7
---------------------
Trollonius pushed Trollrick off of him, causing the latter to land on the litter (Valde later tried to say that five times faster) - Durelin~7

[piosenniel]

This game is an excellent read! Kudos to all of you!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just bringing this forward:

A few reminders:

Please remove your signature from EVERY post to the RPG thread - including SAVES


Don't use smileys in your RPG posts or icons - e.g., http://forum.barrowdowns.com/ubb/icons/icon8.gif http://www.forum.barrowdowns.com/images/icons/WhiteTree3.gif http://forum.barrowdowns.com/ubb/icons/icon14.gif etc.


Don't use the 'Reason for Editing' function on your RPG posts. If it's critical that other players know that you've changed something, then put a post on the Discussion thread about your edit.


No OOC (out of character comments) on the RPG thread - use the Discussion thread.

[the guy who be short]

10 rotfl
9 lmao
8 uncontrollable giggling
7 burst out laughing
6 good laugh

-------------
The record company's studios and headquarters are all located just down the Northern Line from Edge-Where- near Entish Town. - The Phantom ~ 7
-------------
And that man looked too mopey, like one of those emo kids... what was his name? Waldo, or something like that..." - Encaitare ~ 8


Both brilliant lines.

[littlemanpoet]

Oop! :eek:

I goofed. I meant Thursday, not Friday. Somehow I had it in my head that yesterday was Thursday. Sorry. :p

[Durelin]

Valde Delego would like to humbly implore that the Grand Anakronist get his days straight in order that he not lose any more points... :p

[Celuien]

As I implied earlier, if you get behind the wheel of a car in Mordor, you turn into an orc. It's part of the Anakronism Dweomer. Once you step out of the vehicle, you will turn back into yourself in about a minute's time. Please work this into all of your future posts.
So, are we all going to transform into Orcs now? :D

[littlemanpoet]

Valde Delego would like to humbly implore that the Grand Anakronist get his days straight in order that he not lose any more points... Huh!?!?!? :eek: Did I goof? What'd I say an' what should I have said???

So, are we all going to transform into Orcs now? Yup. :D

Oh, and by the way, Celuien, not only have you just turned into an orc, but you have a tank that is three quarters full. The orc will now give you your RET - that is, ridiculously easy test for driving, after which you will be given a driver's license that looks suspiciously like a playing card. :p - pick your suit and number.

[Durelin]

'Twas simply your mix up of Thursdays and Fridays that has me so befuddled, dear poet. ;)

EDIT: The Night was cut shorter than I expected, and thus I was forced to complain about my situation as I did above.

[littlemanpoet]

'Twas simply your mix up of Thursdays and Fridays that has me so befuddled, dear poet. ;)
Sorry for the fuddling. However, I gave you express TA-DA! permission to keep posting through the "Night" ... and ..... you didn't :eek: Anyway, that's your choice. So catch up. Be grateful that my original conception of a loss of one point per hour has found its way deep in the bottom of the green green ocean, and that you still have a chance at 7 ... or at least 6 points. By the by, I wouldn't get too too worried about the points. Naw, just a wee little bit instead. As soon as Valde has made it to Edge-Where, you can choose to keep going right off, or take a resting period.

[littlemanpoet]

The sun will set on this Day, at Mount Doom Casino and Resort, on Thursday, December 15, at 6:00 p.m., EST.

You will follow M-25 to M-1 and go to "the North". There will be:


flat tires
road construction
gridlock
speed cameras
lack of petrol/gas stations
constantly changing ordinance as to which is the correct side of the road
constantly rising petrol/gas prices
bad weather

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'll post later tonight. Kath, TP: if you get in a post before me, you should know that Alli's not going with you guys on this trip (sort of... I'm thinking that her wimpy little car will break down on the highway and her cell phone won't be getting any reception and she'll need to be saved) because she's really ticked that you guys shot at her friend Roggie. :D

[Celuien]

Yup.

Oh, and by the way, Celuien, not only have you just turned into an orc, but you have a tank that is three quarters full. The orc will now give you your RET - that is, ridiculously easy test for driving, after which you will be given a driver's license that looks suspiciously like a playing card. - pick your suit and number.

Lovely. :smokin:

I didn't want to double post, so the story of Panakeia's RET is now included with my first post of the challenge.

I'm thinking that Panakeia should have to deal with and/or be an annoying back-seat driver (runs off to make sure they're ATM'ed) and arguments over who gets to drive to the Casino in this challenge. Does that look interesting to anybody else who might like to join her on the trip?

[littlemanpoet]

Yeah, here goes again with the maps.

Here's the working method (I refrain from calling it a principle, since this entire rpg is highly unprincipled in terms of canonicity, keeping Tolkien from rolling in his grave, et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseum, et. al. :p):

The chasms of Mordor are roughly aligned upon the system of Motorways in England.

Here are two maps:
Middle Earth (http://www.douglas.eckhart.btinternet.co.uk/maps-middle-earth-01.jpg)
England (http://www.multimap.com/map/browse.cgi?client=public&X=400000&Y=200000&width=700&height=400&gride=&gridn=&srec=0&coordsys=gb&db=&addr1=&addr2=&addr3=&pc=&advanced=&local=&localinfosel=&kw=&inmap=&table=&ovtype=&keepicon=&zm=0&scale=4000000&up.x=290&up.y=7)

Lûndûn is situated along the westernmost concavity of the north shore of the Sea of Nurnen. Following a route that is roughly north-westerly, to Mount Doom, the trip is 225 miles, give or take, as the Mordorian Crow flies. Close enough for our purposes. If you want to hold up a measuring stick to your computer monitor, every 15 millimeters = 50* miles on this map.

Now, in terms of England, this trip follows M1 with surprising ease! :eek: What you're doing in terms of England, is driving from London to Durham, which is give or take 225 miles. On this particular map, every 30 millimeters = 50 miles. So it's exactly half.

So bleedin' what? ... you may ask; Well, two things.

(1) I want to at least get this to be verisimillitudinous (now there's a word for a civilized orc wannabe to use!) in terms of distances; just a pet hobby, I suppose. World Builders Unite!!!

(2) It WILL play into the game somehow, with interventions. Oh, and by the way, the moderator is currently disposed to interventions, and expects to remain that way for the duration of the game. :D

I hope that was most revealing and helpful and utterly confusing to you all.

*Edit: I originally and mistakenly said "75" for this; it should be "50".

[littlemanpoet]

The Night was cut shorter than I expected, and thus I was forced to complain about my situation as I did above.Ah. I see. Anakron will have mercy since it was his alter ego's screw up that caused the problem. Get Valde to Edge-Where by Friday at 6pm and you'll score a 7 .... unless he arrives unconscious, having broken a law, or something equally scurrilous.

[the phantom]

I think I'll be able to post late tonight.

When I do, Mardil is going to choose a PT Cruiser and he's going to take off in the wrong direction- but for a reason. After a little stop, he'll turn around and head towards Mount Doom.

Mardil's detour will put him a bit behind everyone else, so if Alli gets stranded a bit later on like you say then Mardil will spot her. But I'm sure she won't particularly want a ride with him since she's mad at him- and he'll be frustrated with her to boot. So, I guess they'll have a big shouting match on the side of the Interstate.

We'll have to decide how it will end. Will Mardil decide it isn't worth the bother and leave Alli stranded, will they agree to travel together despite their mutual wrath, or will they reach an understanding and get along somewhat during the ride?

Is Sai going to tail me in her own vehicle? That would be better than carpooling, because someone would be there if something went wrong but we wouldn't have to give up any of our spare tires (if you carpool, you have to).

Oh, and did the reality tv people catch up to us overnight? Who will they follow at first- Mardil, Sai, or Alli?

[littlemanpoet]

Oh, and did the reality tv people catch up to us overnight? Who will they follow at first- Mardil, Sai, or Alli?
Ah! Thanks for the reminder. First intervention coming right up!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Okay. I want the reality TV people for Alli. We'll see how their shout down goes when we get to it.

I'm about to start my post, therefore it will be up within a not terribly long amount of time.

(2) It WILL play into the game somehow, with interventions. Oh, and by the way, the moderator is currently disposed to interventions, and expects to remain that way for the duration of the game. ubb/biggrin.gif.
Glad to hear it.

[littlemanpoet]

I want the reality TV people for Alli.You got 'em, along with everybody else. If you want, you can have Karis Matiktwit in your vehicle; just write him in as a pushy reality tv show host.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Change of plans, I won't be writing tonight. Something came up. I'll post tomorrow though... presumably around 12:00 PM.

[the phantom]

Change of plans, I won't be writing tonight. Something came up.
Me too.

[Kath]

Sai will follow Mardil. No way is she going off on her own on the roads of Mordor when even her writer doesn't have a clue how to drive or follow road signs! Though, I suppose no one would follow them anyway in Mordor. I'll wait til you've posted phantom and then follow on.

[the guy who be short]

The M1 ends in Leeds... I presume we're ignoring that and following the A1(M) thereafter?

Grâce à Oroaranion for pointing this out.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Sai will follow Mardil. No way is she going off on her own on the roads of Mordor when even her writer doesn't have a clue how to drive or follow road signs! Though, I suppose no one would follow them anyway in Mordor. I'll wait til you've posted phantom and then follow on.
It's not too hard. It's only scary when there are actually other cars on the road and they pass you. I mean... I come from a little place with small roads. These cars and trucks are going reeeeeally fast and they come within about two feet of you. It's terrifying when they do it on curves. I suppose that will make it truly Mordor-worthy because Alli's got about the same driving experience as me; actually, less. I've driven a few times and she's never. :D

[the phantom]

...when even her writer doesn't have a clue how to drive or follow road signs!
Alli's got about the same driving experience as me; actually, less. I've driven a few times and she's never.
Well, this will certainly be a reason for Alli and Sai to at least trust Mardil's driving even if they aren't too fond of him. Mardil's writer has been doing 500+ mile Interstate road trips for years and has yet to get a ticket or create a traffic accident. I will think of a way to transfer some of this skill to Mardil.

Expect my first post sometime in the next three hours.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I just posted, so whenever you feel like it, TP, Alli's on the side of the road in a bad mood. It just sucks when your car explodes. :D

[the guy who be short]

I'm writing a post, it should be up in half an hour at the latest.


If Wilhelmina doesn't manage to get a good car, feel free to approach Fléin. He's taken a shine to the character, from the little he's seen of her - they seem to share views about the others, in any case.

[Durelin]

*bows* Thank you, most gracious Anakron. My post is up, and seven points it is.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

He heard a thud and a scream. “Did you get that on the kamura?!” he shouted at the kamuraman, conjuring up fake tears in order to better wallow in self pity upon injuring a helpless…child, cat, dog, whatever he felt like making it. He ignored the kamuraman when he said “It was the spare tire you were supposed to take with you, sir…”
A 6 on the Richter Scale for a good laugh.

“There have been rumours of Alumìne Umfuìl taking a certain interest in you…”

“Oh really? Well, then, I guess we might as well make it her. Is there a jealous lover involved, by any chance?”
A 3 on the inverted scale of uber-hilariosity for the reason that you only predict one jealous lover... there will be at least two. :D

For this reason, multiple versions of the exam are given, such that drivers are not necessarily tested in any consistent fashion. Is that clear?
An 8 on the Not-forcing-us-all-to-have-the-same-test scale.

"It is a flexible system (by which Anakron meant that he had not decided exactly how the point system would add up in the end, nor precisely what total signified failure) by which, for each test, members of the Offending Party will be given a point total not less than one, not greater than ten
A 10 on the flexible system scale (by which Fea means that she has not yet decided how this scale works yet, nor what its importance will be) by which, for each post, writers of the Offending Party will be given points that don't matter. Much like in Who's Line is this Anyway?

"Now, now, Phineas," his mother was saying. "I already told you, no more nuclear devices this week."

'What a horrible name for a child,' thought Wilhelmina.
A 10 on Fea's scale of "Ouch, I was just reminded of that horrible book A Separate Peace by John Knowles."

But Mardil knew he wouldn't have it any other way. When there was a delicious damsel in distress, he simply had to be the one to rescue her.
A 13.43786 on the Maybe Chivalry Ought to be Dead After All scale. :p

Great writing everybody. I get a huge kick out of reading each new post.

[littlemanpoet]

The M1 ends in Leeds... I presume we're ignoring that and following the A1(M) thereafter?

Grâce à Oroaranion for pointing this out.
Seems my first try at a response to this didn't go through.

Answer: M1 is under construction north of Leeds. Mwua ha ha ha !!! How does that Abe Lincoln quote go? Some of the lanes are closed all the time, some of the lanes are open some of the time, some of the lanes are closed some of the time, but none of the lanes are closed all the time. :D

EDIT: Keep track of your miles and how many hours it takes you to cover them. You have 12 game hours to get from Lundun to Durham, as it were.

[the phantom]

My post is up, Kath. I already wrote Sai into a PT Cruiser, so you don't have to worry about someone taking the last one. And don't worry about your gas tank. So long as it is between 1/3 and 2/3 full we will be fine. :)

[littlemanpoet]

Durelin: Valde's car's tank is 1/8th full.

phantom: Your PT Cruiser has a leak in the tank, and drips to half full in a matter of minutes.

[the phantom]

Okay Kath, glad to see you found my car.

Now, here's a heads up for you.

I will bring Sai to where Mardil is when I make my next post (probably late tonight). Mardil will explain his plan to Sai and to help Mardil out, Sai will agree to (temporarily) become the sole focus of both her tv crew and Mardil's by announcing that she will tell her life story.

Of course, the tv crew will feel obligated to leave at least one person with me from their crew, but he won't be a problem. All Mardil has to do is lose him for a couple minutes, and he can certainly arrange a nice and understandable way to do that.

So anyway, be prepared to tell Sai's story, Kath.
phantom: Your PT Cruiser has a leak in the tank, and drips to half full in a matter of minutes.
Aye aye, captain. I will include that in my next post.

[littlemanpoet]

Celuien, you're crackin' me up. Good try on the lisping orc. There are a couple things to edit, since I'm being picky.

Make every 's' a 'th'. 'famouth'

Make every 'l' and 'r' a 'w'. deal becomes deaw. right becomes wight

And every once in a while, a 'y' becomes 'w'. 'you' -> 'woo'.

Lucky for you guys the lisping orcs are only the artsy fartsy ones that come with the reality tv show, which is only going to be around from now until you get through ALL the test. :eek: :D

[Encaitare]

Since the wireless connection in the hotel is somewhat dubious, I've put up a save, and will type up my post separately and put it up later.

TGWBS, Wilhelmina will be more than happy to team up with Fléin... as long as he's driving. ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Unless something crops up (LMP: ;)), Alli's currently moodily walking toward her destination (potentially in the wrong direction since she refrained from actually bothering with a map... again) and will still be walking in that direction and fashion when Mardil and Sai show up.

[the phantom]

I just spit out a long post that places Mardil and Sai on the road. I'm really tired and I wrote it quickly, so I hope it makes sense.

Remember, Mardil is comfortable behind the wheel and is great with a map, Kath, so if you start to write about the drive don't have us go off the wrong way.

Feel free to add some encounters with bad drivers, construction, or anything else your heart desires- so long as it doesn't damage our means of transportation.

[Celuien]

No problem. It wil be changed shortly.

[the guy who be short]

Out of interest, whence comes the word Dweomer?

Encai: I've posted with you in here. (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=433672#post433672) Have a looksy so you can work it in with your post.

A lot of great posts from everybody. :D

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Dweomer... I have thoughts and potential theories, but all of them are based on assumptions and therefore remain full of loopholes. I'll just not put forth any of them; that way when I find out the truth, I can conveniently forget all of my less-than-accurate theories and put forth that my theory was right. :D

And I've just posted. Alli's currently kamura-less, slightly injured, really hungry. Hookbill the Goomba's been attacked, and Alli was just about to go save the world when Mardil showed up again.

May the yelling match begin.

[piosenniel]

Some references on dweomer:


Do you know the exact meaning and etymological roots of the word dweomer? It is often used in fantasy literature as a synonym for "magic spell", but I was unable to find the word in any dictionary. Can you help?

-----

Of course we can help but, boy, those fantasy novels certainly go out of their way to use obscure words! What's wrong with straightforward words like cantrap? We are not surprised that you couldn't find this word in a dictionary. As far as we can tell, it occurs only once in medieval literature - in a work from around 1205. Even then it does not occur alone but in the compound term dweomer-craeften meaning "magic art". It is thought to be related to the Old English gedwimer (or gedwomer) "sorcery".

from: Take OUr Word For It - E-zine (http://www.takeourword.com/Issue102.html)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From The Compact Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary, Volume 1 (A-O); 18th Printing, 1979; Library of Congress catalog number 76-188038:

Dweomercraeft. Obs. [f. O.E. *dwimer, *dweomer, in zedwimer, zedwomer, illusion, sourcery, necromancy, zedwinere, juggler, sourcerer + craeft, CRAFT.] Juggler, magic art.

c.1205 LAY. 30634 And Pelux hit wiste anan purh his dweomer-craeften.

Related: Dweomerlayk = Demerlayk

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Encyclopedia of Arda (http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/words.html) has a section on archaic words:

dwimmer-crafty --- skilled in the arts of magic

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Hey, I was right. ;)

[littlemanpoet]

Out of interest, whence comes the word Dweomer?Why, from Tolkien, of course. In The Two Towers, spoken by a Rohirrim. Of course, I can't find the reference now. :rolleyes:

[piosenniel]

Tolkien uses the word, dwimmer-crafty in reference to Saruman -

In 'The Riders of Rohan', when Eomer is speaking alone to Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, he tells them of Saruman's designs on Rohan and the difficulties of dealing with him:

It is ill dealing with such a foe: he is a wizard both cunning and dwimmer-crafty, having many guises . . .

[Encaitare]

And let's not forget the term in Pio's PT. ;)

[the guy who be short]

I'm resisting the urge to turn the Kamuraorc in my back seat into David Kamuran, mainly because most of you wouldn't understand...

Now to figure out how to drive a car, with no experience whatsoever.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

You know TGWBS, it really doesn't take much specialized equipment to siphon gas. Just a hose and a lot of guts and no observing authority figures. ;)

No, I haven't done it! But the colorful lot in one of my old classes taught me how using muddy water in a flood tank we were playing with. It's amazing the skills you can pick up when you least expect to.

Just thought that might come in handy if anybody runs out of gas and wants to "borrow" some from one of the yellow vans, which would very conveniently (how I currently love this word) mean that the kamura crew runs out of gas instead. What a pity.

:D

[the guy who be short]

You know TGWBS, it really doesn't take much specialized equipment to siphon gas. Just a hose and a lot of guts and no observing authority figures.I wondered through the internet looking for siphoning website, and concluded that I'd need some sort of hosey thing. Then I decided I couldn't be bothered to comprehend the physics. So it looks like hoses are scarce in Mordor now, eh?


Anakron gazed into the pouring sleet, watching the Dworc's and old womorc's
As Wilhelmina isn't driving, she's not in orc form. That's how I understood it worked, anyway...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I wondered through the internet looking for siphoning website, and concluded that I'd need some sort of hosey thing. Then I decided I couldn't be bothered to comprehend the physics. So it looks like hoses are scarce in Mordor now, eh?
It's not so hard. A bit of tubey stuff and some suction and you'll have yourself some sketchily acquired liquid in no time. :smokin:

As Wilhelmina isn't driving, she's not in orc form. That's how I understood it worked, anyway...
I'm not sure if it's "right", but that's the way I felt like doing it for Alli. Why eat a grapefruit to get your vitamin C if you can have an orange instead? :D

[the phantom]

Fea, in case you're wondering why Mardil hasn't found Alli by the road yet, I don't want to advance any more before Kath has a chance to post.

[Kath]

And I will post. I apologise that I haven't yet but the RS essay I have spent all weekend working on has sapped me of any imagination whatsoever. I'll get a post up by tomorrow evening - I'm sorry it's so delayed.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I'm vaguely considering having Alli be unconscious when Mardil finds her. It would give me a good excuse to write more.

No rush Kath. I wait patiently. Or at least pretend convincingly that my impatience is really patience. ;)

Don't worry. I know how school work gets in the way of things.

[Encaitare]

I think I know how to siphon, TGWBS, so Wilhelmina could do it if you want to work that in...

[the guy who be short]

I think I know how to siphon, TGWBS, so Wilhelmina could do it if you want to work that in...Of course, that would be marvellous. We'll actually need to buy a hose first, so could you cover the entire post from acquiring one to stealing Anakron's fuel (Hehe, I hope you work in the look on his face when the Cruiser re-enters the parking lot)? Plus as much more as you're up to doing, of course.

Small request. When we actually go to buy a hose, I buy a very large beaker too.

[Kath]

Fea, Alli is still walking in the post that will be going up any second now but if you do want me to change that just yell.

[Celuien]

I've had to put in a save for today (another 28 hour day is running right now). It'll be filled in by tomorrow afternoon - I just don't want to risk incurring the esteemed lmp's wrath by not appearing at all for a day.

Sorry! :(

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Nope. She's good the way she is. TP, when you post, feel free to have her pass out due to being really cold (those balrog-winging outfits aren't made to keep heat in, that much is for sure), wet (stupid sleet ;)), and from having lost blood due to the head injury from tripping over Hookbill.

Save her if you like.

She'll wake up shortly thereafter and start yelling at Mardil. May the fireworks begin. :D

[Encaitare]

Small request. When we actually go to buy a hose, I buy a very large beaker too.

Just for clarification, O Dwarvish Fellow on the Short Side, are you talking about a beaker as in a cup, or as in scientific glassware? Or maybe the guy from the Muppets... ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

LMP you gave us Britney back! Yes! It means that Mardil can ogle if tp still wants him to and Alli can glare once she gets her consciousness back!

♥Fea

[the phantom]

Okay, I will post sometime tomorrow. I will make sure we cover a nice bit of the trek. I will also work in lmp's interventions and of course I will scrape the unconcious Alli off of the roadside and stick her in the SUV.

Unless there isn't room, in which case I will have to strap Alli down to the roof. :p

[Encaitare]

Save filled... I think you'll like it, TGWBS. :D

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Wilhelmina turned around and glared at him. "Every time you're politically correct, Eru kills a kitten," she said sternly, and then they were driving away in triumph.
A 10 on the I just choked on a Mango Tango smoothie because I was laughing so hard scale.

And the entire post gets X amount of points because I'm glad I'm not the only sweet lil teenage girl that knows how to siphon gas. Amazing, the skills you pick up, no? :D

[Encaitare]

And the entire post gets X amount of points because I'm glad I'm not the only sweet lil teenage girl that knows how to siphon gas. Amazing, the skills you pick up, no? :D

My daddy taught me. :D

[the guy who be short]

Nice post Encai. :D Times two.

I, too, was in hysterics throughout the entire last post. That was utterly brill.

Incidentally, I meant scientific glassware.

And now, I need bed. Penalisation for extended absence, here I come.

[Durelin]

Valde's stuck for now. So, either he figures out something to do, something improves, or someone picks him up.

I guess we'll see how it ends up. ;)