View Full Version : Ask a stupid question
Naria
07-25-2006, 11:41 PM
Well since things are a little slow(for now). I thought of a game for everyone to pass the time. This is a game where you ask a stupid LOTR related question and get a possibly stupider answer back. Okay? Here we go.....
First person: Why did Gollum where a loin cloth?
Second person: Loin cloths?! Why they are all the rage in the cave scene, of course.
I'll start you off! :D
Why didn't Sam and Frodo just get an Eagle to ride to Mordor instead of walking all of that way?
Valier
07-25-2006, 11:50 PM
I'll give it a go....:p
Q: Why didn't Sam and Frodo just get an Eagle to ride to Mordor instead of walking all of that way?
A: Because someone convinced them, that walking makes you grow.
If I get this right I go on with the next question?
Why was Boromir, named Boromir?
Glirdan
07-26-2006, 07:51 AM
Valier, I think it works like the "Be Careful What You Wish For..." thread. So you give a whacky answer and then give us a whacky question to give a whacky answer and so on so forth.
So here's my whacky answer! :p
Q: Why didn't Sam and Frodo just get an Eagle to ride to Mordor instead of walking all of that way?
A: Because Denethor liked r's. Boromir, Faramir.
Q: Why did the Ents go to war?
Beanamir of Gondor
07-26-2006, 09:38 AM
Q: Why did the Ents go to war?
A: To show off their new combat uniforms, of course!
Which credit cards do they accept at the Gap of Rohan ?
Naria
07-26-2006, 10:53 AM
Bean, your question has got to be a little more lotr related than that. Only the answer can be that "far out" :D . I think that is what makes this game really funny and fun. It could be a question that you've always wanted to ask or just a silly question, but obviously one isn't going to get the answer that they are looking for. I probably should have named the thread "give a stupid answer" :rolleyes: ahh well.
If you don't mind Bean I'll ask another question.
What do Lembas taste like?(always wondered that one myself)
Valier
07-26-2006, 11:01 AM
Q:What do Lembas taste like?(always wondered that one myself)
A: Like Turkey on Rye, of course!;)
Q: Why does Gollum hate/Love the One Ring?
Glirdan
07-26-2006, 11:07 AM
Q: Why does Gollum hate/Love the One Ring?
A: Because it had an affair on him with Bilbo! :p
Q: Why did the Istari come to Middle-Earth?
Valier
07-26-2006, 11:21 AM
Q: Why did the Istari come to Middle-Earth?
A: Because after some research...they decided that they would much rather be stuck in the Middle with you.
Q:Why are Ents so slow?
Naria
07-26-2006, 11:33 AM
Q:Why are Ents so slow?
A: You would be to if you weren't supposed to be walkin' around and had to use your root system for legs :eek:
Q: Why is it that, though elves are so in-tuned with nature, that they have to buy wine of men?
Beanamir of Gondor
07-27-2006, 08:54 AM
Okay. I'll give it another go.
Q: Why is it that, though elves are so in-tuned with nature, that they have to buy wine of men?
A: Because they lost a drinking contest a long, long time ago...
Q: Why is Gandalf the Grey grey?
mark12_30
07-27-2006, 10:01 AM
Because he washed his black clothes with too much bleach.
Why is the Balrog hot?
Glirdan
07-27-2006, 02:10 PM
Why is the Balrog hot?
A: Because all the lady Balrog's thought him sexy. :p
Q: Why is Sauron's eye surrounded by fire? ( I have seriously been wondering about this one...)
Valier
07-27-2006, 03:22 PM
Q: Why is Sauron's eye surrounded by fire? ( I have seriously been wondering about this one...)
A: Because of all the black smoke and ash The Eye has irritated eye.
Q: What really are the Mearas?
Naria
07-27-2006, 03:54 PM
Q: What really are the Mearas?
A: It's ghetto slang for Mirrors :p ...duh!! lol
Q: Why do Ringwraiths have such high pitched screams?
Estelyn Telcontar
07-27-2006, 04:07 PM
Q: Why do Ringwraiths have such high pitched screams?
A: You don't want to know, but think of the old-fashioned method of producing countertenor voices. (The Italians called those singers castrati...)
Q: What were the birthday presents Bilbo gave his guests at the long-expected party?
Valier
07-27-2006, 04:12 PM
Q: What were the birthday presents Bilbo gave his guests at the long-expected party?
A: Foot hair clippings....in every last one of them.
Q:why do all the men have long hair?
Q:why do all the men have long hair?
A: Because they're jealous of the girls getting all the attention.
Q: Why does Aragorn never bathe?
Glirdan
07-27-2006, 09:02 PM
Q: Why does Aragorn never bathe?
A: Because he thinks it's a waste of his time. :rolleyes:
Q: Why did the Fellowship travel down Anduin?
Questionf for Naria: Do we have to stick to LotR? Or can we ask Sil and Hobbit questions??
Naria
07-27-2006, 09:17 PM
Sure! Go for it ladies and gents ;) Have questions coming from where ever just as long as Tolkien spearheaded them. So far so good all...keep up the fun!! :)
Sleepy Ranger
07-28-2006, 05:09 AM
Q: Why did the Fellowship travel down Anduin?
A: Because they couldn't travel up Anduin obviously...
Q: How much would Pippin have to eat to explode?
Síredol
07-28-2006, 05:19 AM
A:Pippin's stomach is a bottomless pit,so obviously he wouldnt explode. :D
Q:Why are hobbits so short?
Valier
07-28-2006, 10:55 AM
Q:Why are hobbits so short?
A: They aren't short....they're vertically challenged.
Q: Why did Saruman switch sides?
Naria
07-28-2006, 11:23 AM
Q: Why did Saruman switch sides?
A: Because his side of the bed was too lumpy.
Q: Who was prettier Legolas or Arwen?
Glirdan
07-28-2006, 11:35 AM
Q: Who was prettier Legolas or Arwen?
A: Neither!! :p
Q: Why did Morgoth go bad?
JennyHallu
07-28-2006, 11:36 AM
A: Legolas.
Q: How do you get an Oliphaunt into a Hobbit Hole?
Naria
07-28-2006, 12:33 PM
NOTE: In the circumstance where a xpost happens, the first person to get their post up gets the next question. :)
Boromir88
07-28-2006, 12:42 PM
Q: Why did Morgoth go bad?
A: Because Eru gave Manwe a super cool GI Joe action figure, and all Morgoth got was a sissy pink bunny rabbit. And to prove his manliness he went into rebellion.
EDIT:
Q: How do you get an Oliphaunt into a Hobbit Hole?
A: You cross breed it with a chinchilla which makes a miniature oliphaunt-chinchilla hybrid and a very cute pet.
______________
Q: Why did Sauron take the form of an Eye?
Mithalwen
07-28-2006, 01:41 PM
Q: Why did Sauron take the form of an Eye?
A Because a glowing red nose had been registered as a trademark by Rudolph T. Reindeer.
Q Why are Nazgul hydrophobic?
The Elf-warrior
07-28-2006, 01:56 PM
Q: Why are Nazgul hydrophobic?
A: They were bitten by a rabid warg.
Q: Why was Quickbeam so hasty!
Glirdan
07-28-2006, 02:29 PM
Q: Why was Quickbeam so hasty!
A: Because he suffered head trauma when he was younger which made him quick.
Q: Who is Eru?
Q: Who is Eru?
A: No one, the name is a shortening of the popular cry "'Ere, you!"
Q: How old is Gandalf?
The Elf-warrior
07-28-2006, 06:25 PM
Q: How old is Gandalf?
A: Not as old as Saruman.
Q: How did the good guys win the battle of the Pellenor Fields in spite of being vastly outnumbered?
Kitanna
07-28-2006, 06:32 PM
Q: How did the good guys win the battle of the Pellenor Fields in spite of being vastly outnumbered?
A: They invented guns just in time.
Q: Why did the Sacksville-Baggins hate Bilbo so much?
Glirdan
07-28-2006, 06:38 PM
Q: Why did the Sacksville-Baggins hate Bilbo so much?
A: Because he stole their last rusty spoon. They likes rusty spoons.
Q: Why is Wormtongue named so?
Naria
07-28-2006, 07:10 PM
Q: Why is Wormtongue named so?
A: Ummmm because Bob wouldn't have been that great for such a slithering freak like him.
Q: Did Balrogs ever get heartburn?
Boromir88
07-28-2006, 08:08 PM
Q: Did Balrogs ever get heartburn?
A: No, they always took their Tums.
______________________________
Q: Why is Denethor so grumpy?
Kitanna
07-28-2006, 10:34 PM
Q: Why is Denethor so grumpy?
A: Because they don't make hula skirts in his size.
Q: How come Radagast was called Radagast the Brown and not Radagast the Maroon?
Nilpaurion Felagund
07-28-2006, 10:35 PM
Q: Why is Denethor so grumpy?
A: Because Valium hasn't been invented then yet.
______________________________
Q: Where do Dwarves go when they die?
Glirdan
07-29-2006, 07:38 AM
Q: How come Radagast was called Radagast the Brown and not Radagast the Maroon?
A: Because Brown went along with his eye color.
Q: Where do Dwarves go when they die?
A: The halls of Aule so they can bug him and Yavanna to death.
Q: Why did Saruman bewitch Theoden?
Boromir88
07-29-2006, 07:41 AM
Q: Why did Saruman bewitch Theoden?
A: Because Saruman wanted Theoden's horde of Raisin Bran.
___________________________________________
Q: Why did Galadriel ever marry Celeborn?
Mithalwen
07-29-2006, 01:59 PM
Q: Why did Galadriel ever marry Celeborn?
Because Telerin men make the best pretty boy trophy husbands in all Arda. Fact :rolleyes:
Q How do you get Saruman down from the Tower of Orthanc? (One for readers of Terry Pratchett's Jingo! )
The Elf-warrior
07-29-2006, 07:00 PM
Q How do you get Saruman down from the Tower of Orthanc?
A: Stab him in the back during an angry parle.
Q: Why did Tolkien never finish The Lost Road?
Boromir88
07-29-2006, 07:08 PM
Q: Why did Tolkien never finish The Lost Road?
A: Because after getting Lost on the Road he never found his way back. :rolleyes:
_______________________________________
Q: Why did Frodo leave Middle-earth?
The Elf-warrior
07-29-2006, 11:58 PM
Q: Why did Frodo leave Middle-earth?
A: Because he had a gig waiting for him in the Lonely Isle.
Q: Why does the Ring make people invisible?
Hookbill the Goomba
07-30-2006, 05:00 PM
Q: Why does the Ring make people invisible?
A: It actually makes people's clothes go invisible, but because the body is touching the clothes, that goes invisible also.
Q: Why is the Witch-King so called?
Gil-Galad
07-30-2006, 05:56 PM
Q: Why is the Witch-King so called?
A: Because he hanged with the wrong crowd during Grade School just to be cool
Q: While were the Easterlings evil?
Glirdan
07-30-2006, 08:52 PM
Q: While were the Easterlings evil?
I assume you mean "Why..." instead of "While..."
A: Because nobody changed their diapers when they were young.
Q: Why did the Balrog attack the Fellowship in Moria?
Kitanna
07-30-2006, 09:58 PM
Q: Why did the Balrog attack the Fellowship in Moria?
A: Because Gandalf once left him alone in a diner to pay the bill.
Q: How come Tom Bombadil didn't take the Ring from Frodo?
The Sixth Wizard
08-01-2006, 12:53 AM
Q: Why didn't Tom Bombadil take the Ring from Frodo?
A: Because, unlike anyone else in ME he had a better looking piece of clothing, that blue cloak! (Oh the silky softness, <sighs happily>)
Q: How come Galadriel's a blonde and Arwen's got black hair?
Glirdan
08-01-2006, 08:10 AM
Q: How come Galadriel's a blonde and Arwen's got black hair?
A: Because Galadriel had an affair.
Q: Why did Thingol stay behind instead of going off to Valinor?
Macalaure
08-01-2006, 08:15 AM
Q: Why did Thingol stay behind instead of going off to Valinor?
A: Because he lost his way and didn't want to ask for the right direction.
Q: Why did Fëanor burn the ships at Losgar?
The Elf-warrior
08-01-2006, 12:32 PM
Q: Why did Fëanor burn the ships at Losgar?
A: Because he was a pyromaniac.
Q: How did Hobbits come to be?
Glirdan
08-01-2006, 12:55 PM
Q: How did Hobbits come to be?
A: All the short Men of the Race of Men got shunned, so they moved out and founded the Shire.
Q: Why did Beleg search for Turin?
Q: Why did Beleg search for Turin?
A: They were playing hide and seek.
Q: Why did Bilbo take the Arkenstone?
The Elf-warrior
08-01-2006, 02:04 PM
Q: Why did Bilbo take the Arkenstone?
A: Because he was a burglar, of course.
Q: Why is Elrond so cranky?
Gil-Galad
08-01-2006, 02:48 PM
Q: Why is Elrond so cranky?
A: How would you like it if your family is almost gone and your only daughter wants to marry an estranged Cousin?
Q: Why did Sauron have to make a Ring? why not a Fruit Basket of Death? or a PhoneBook of Inniment doom?
The Elf-warrior
08-01-2006, 03:14 PM
Q: Why did Sauron have to make a Ring? Why not a Fruit Basket of Death? Or a PhoneBook of Imminent doom?
A: The Ring of Doom has a nice ring to it.
Q: Where is the House of Eorl?
Boromir88
08-01-2006, 04:08 PM
Q: Where is the House of Eorl?
A: Right next to MarkDonalds on Hammerhand Street.
________________________________________
Q: How did Boromir get his super sword-fighting skills?
HerenIstarion
08-01-2006, 04:19 PM
Q: How did Boromir get his super sword-fighting skills?
A: He trained on Faramir when they both were children. That's why the latter grew-up pacifist...
------
Q: Is Earendil provided with a parachute?
Celuien
08-03-2006, 04:22 AM
Q: Is Earendil provided with a parachute?
A: Earendil does have a parachute, as a matter of fact. However, he is also barefoot since the reason for the parachute is that Aule misheard his request for a pair of shoes.
~*~
Q: Why is Bagshot Row named Bagshot Row?
Gil-Galad
08-03-2006, 09:43 AM
Q: Why is Bagshot Row named Bagshot Row?
A: During the early days of the Shire, two old friends Bag and Row were walking around that area, when a robber jumped out and grabbed Row, Bag quickly used his Hobbit Power and grabbed a rock. Row,being light-minded due to the robber kind of choking him, yelled out "shoot me, you have too". Bag then decided to follow his friends advice and he through, and it hit Row right between the eyes, killing him instantly. the robber ran off and the place was known as Bagshot Row. The End.
Q: Why was the last Alliance formed?
Glirdan
08-03-2006, 09:49 AM
Q: Why was the last Alliance formed?
A: To beat the First Alliance.
Q: Why did Feanor create the Silmarils?
The Elf-warrior
08-03-2006, 07:52 PM
Q: Why did Feanor create the Silmarils?
A: Because people respect a man who wears glowing jewels.
Q: Why is Pippin so stupid?
Boromir88
08-03-2006, 08:33 PM
Q: Why is Pippin so stupid?
IF SpM finds this, note I do not have anything to do with this question or the answer that is about to be given.
With that out of the way...
A: After being born Pippin was adopted by the Troll Kurt (the son of Bert)...what you didn't know that?
Q: Why did Haldir not die?
Meneltarmacil
08-03-2006, 08:37 PM
Q: Why did Haldir not die?
A: Because he patched up all his wounds with duct tape. (It really CAN fix anything!)
Q: Who and what is Tom Bombadil, exactly? ;)
Mithalwen
08-04-2006, 06:23 AM
Q: Who and what is Tom Bombadil, exactly?
A: An irritating sub-vogon poet with appalling dress sense who got lost in the Old Forest on the way to the Glastonbury festival.
Q: Why were Alatar and Pallando blue?
HerenIstarion
08-04-2006, 06:33 AM
Q: Why were Alatar and Pallando blue?
A: Why, anybody would have turned blue if they were sent to such a back of beyond, when their peers were having a ball in civilized places like Gil-Galad's court must have been!
---
Q: Why do wizards keep long beards?
Hookbill the Goomba
08-04-2006, 06:51 AM
Q: Why do wizards keep long beards?
A: The same reason others keep stamps.
Q: Why did Gollum want a riddle game?
Boromir88
08-04-2006, 08:02 AM
Q: Why did Gollum want a riddle game?
Because he didn't know how to play Bilbo's offered game...scrabble.
Q: Why was Aragorn raised by Elves?
Meneltarmacil
08-04-2006, 09:34 AM
Q: Why was Aragorn raised by Elves?
A: Because only they had the expertise necessary for keeping him clean.
Q: Why did Ar-Pharazon's misdeeds cause all of Numenor to sink?
Sleepy Ranger
08-04-2006, 11:28 PM
Q: Why did Ar-Pharazon's misdeeds cause all of Numenor to sink?
A: Because one of them was pulling the plug which caused the flood...
Q: Why is Pippin a 'fool of a Took'?
Q: Why is Pippin a 'fool of a Took'?
A: He isn't, this is a case of mistaken hearing. Pippin is in fact a cannibal, and ate a member of the Took family, thereby being full of a Took.
Q: How long is Gandalf's staff?
Rune Son of Bjarne
08-05-2006, 01:08 PM
Q: How long is Gandalf's staff?
A: Not long enough! Therefor it cannot reach the ground. . .
Q: Why does the Nazgul wear black?
Glirdan
08-05-2006, 01:21 PM
Q: Why does the Nazgul wear black?
A: Because Pick clashes to much with their skin tone.
Q: Why is Radagaast called the Brown??
Meneltarmacil
08-05-2006, 01:53 PM
Q: Why is Radagaast called the Brown??
A: He used to be Radagast the White, but fell into a muddy creek and couldn't get the stain out of his robes.
Q: Why does the Enchanted Stream in Mirkwood make people fall asleep?
Farael
08-05-2006, 02:34 PM
It's not actually the stream itself, but so it happens that the river is a gathering point for Tse-Tse flies... which are known vectors of the Sleeping Sickness.
Q: Howcome the dwarves are known for being polite and yet when they are at Bilbo's house doing the dishes they sing a song about breaking all of them?
The Elf-warrior
08-05-2006, 09:18 PM
Q: How come the dwarves are known for being polite and yet when they are at Bilbo's house doing the dishes they sing a song about breaking all of them?
A: Because Dwarves don't like burglars.
Q: Why was Thorin Oakenshield always so long-winded?
Kitanna
08-06-2006, 02:15 PM
Q: Why was Thorin Oakenshield always so long-winded?
A: Because if he were short-winded he'd never win any arguments.
Q: Why did Beorn change into a bear and not a fluffy bunny?
Gil-Galad
08-07-2006, 01:14 PM
Q: Why did Beorn change into a bear and not a fluffy bunny?
A: Because Goblins eat Bunnies at a great rate and that would ruin the story
Q: Why did Tolkien write the Hobbit?
Meneltarmacil
08-07-2006, 02:32 PM
Q: Why did Tolkien write the Hobbit?
A: Because writing The Unicorn or The Giant Slug just wouldn't work.
Q: Why didn't Tolkien draw anything to the east of Mordor and the Sea of Rhun?
Farael
08-07-2006, 03:18 PM
Q: Why didn't Tolkien draw anything to the east of Mordor and the Sea of Rhun?
A: Because his pen ran out of ink. As a matter of fact, that sea was to be called "The Sea of Rhum" a clear reference to Tolkien's favourite drink, but his pen failed half-way through the m.
Q: Why did Elrond send only EIGHT* walkers with the ring bearer? Couldn't he send a bit of a bigger dettachment at least half-way to Mordor to keep them well protected?
*It said eight all along, it never said either instead of eight. No, not at all, no, never
Boromir88
08-07-2006, 04:45 PM
Q: Why did Elrond send only either walkers with the ring bearer? Couldn't he send a bit of a bigger dettachment at least half-way to Mordor to keep them well protected?
(Slightly confused do you mean eight walkers? A mind lapse there?) Anyway...
A: Elrond actually had a lottery system to decide who would join Frodo on the infamous quest to Mount Doom. It was supposed to be the First 50 winners, but only 8 signed up.
Q: Why is it called The Lord of the Rings?
Mirkgirl
08-08-2006, 10:13 AM
Q: Why is it called The Lord of the Rings?
Because 'The Fiery Eyeball' got rejected.
Why do hobbits drink ale?
Kitanna
08-08-2006, 10:56 AM
Why do hobbits drink ale?
A: Because Middle-Earth wine coolers are too expensive.
Q: Why wasn't Saruman a bearer of one of the Three Rings?
The Elf-warrior
08-08-2006, 04:32 PM
Q: Why wasn't Saruman a bearer of one of the Three Rings?
A: Because Cirdan only trusted Saruman as far he could throw him, but Cirdan was too weak to throw Saruman more than a few inches.
Q: Why was Smaug so smug?
Meneltarmacil
08-08-2006, 05:56 PM
Q: Why was Smaug so smug?
A: Because he was snug as a bug, of course. :p
Q: Why did the Valar seal Morgoth in the Void instead of just killing him?
The Elf-warrior
08-08-2006, 06:04 PM
Q: Why did the Valar seal Morgoth in the Void instead of just killing him?
A: Because you can't kill the soul.
Q: Why was there no trace of the Wargs who attacked the Fellowship the next morning?
Naria
08-08-2006, 06:12 PM
Q: Why was there no trace of the Wargs who attacked the Fellowship the next morning?
A: Because they liked eating on the run ;)
Q: What would the child of a Dwarf and a Hobbit look like?
Gil-Galad
08-08-2006, 06:31 PM
Q: What would the child of a Dwarf and a Hobbit look like?
A: congratulations! you've solved the mystery of Tom Bombadil!
Q: Why do Rohirrim Calvary Charges not work againest a rampaging Balrog?
Farael
08-08-2006, 07:35 PM
Q: Why do Rohirrim Calvary Charges not work againest a rampaging Balrog?
Because they couldn't manage to produce enough charge to turn their balrog-defeating light-sabres with a cavalry charge... they needed the charges of a couple batteries but they were fresh out of those
Q: Why was Gollum so ugly?
Celuien
08-08-2006, 07:43 PM
Q: Why was Gollum so ugly?
A: Because he went to a really, really bad plastic surgeon.
Q: Do Hobbits go bald?
Nogrod
08-08-2006, 07:44 PM
Q: Why was Gollum so ugly?
A: Because he had no daily papers to check his style from and he left his mirror of the underground lake too early...
Q: Why didn't Gollum strike at the time he had a chance?
Nogrod
08-08-2006, 07:47 PM
X-posted with Celuien...
Q: Do Hobbits go bald?
A: Of course! Think of Lobelia Sackville-Baggins without a bald on the top of her head!
So making the question again...
Q: Why didn't Gollum strike at the time he had a chance?
Valier
08-09-2006, 01:39 PM
Q: Why didn't Gollum strike at the time he had a chance?
A:He is surprisingly good at Baseball, and the word strike is not in his vocabulary! ;)
Q: Do you think Peregrin Took hates his name? and if so why?
Hookbill the Goomba
08-09-2006, 02:21 PM
Q: Do you think Peregrin Took hates his name? and if so why?
A: Hisname, Pippin's neighbour, was pretty much hated by everyone. Mostly because of his enormous euphonium he insisted upon blowing at three in the morning.
Q: Why did Gandalf not just kick the Balrog in the shin and run away?
The Elf-warrior
08-09-2006, 02:26 PM
Q: Why did Gandalf not just kick the Balrog in the shin and run away?
A: Because Pippin stole his flameproof shoes and buried them in Rivendell.
Q: Why was Lobelia so nasty?
Farael
08-13-2006, 10:17 PM
Q: Why was Lobelia so nasty?
The Professor was, as we all know, a master of words and meanings and he played a very clever trick on us. As we know, lob is an old word for spider (or something like that) and Lob-elia was female.... a she... SHELOB!!!!
Indeed, when Shelob (aka Lobelia) attacked Frodo and Sam in Cirith Ungol, it was just the latest episode of a long-lasting hatred between the family.
Now, wouldn't you be nasty if you were a huge spider in a hobbit town?
Q: Why did Frodo hang out a lot with Merry and Pippin who were several years younger than him?
Brinniel
08-13-2006, 10:32 PM
Q: Why did Frodo hang out a lot with Merry and Pippin who were several years younger than him?
Frodo never chose to hang out with them. No matter how much he tries to get rid of them, Merry and Pippin just keep tagging along. Annoying little buggers....
Q: Why did Frodo choose for the Fellowship to go through the Mines of Moria?
Q: Why did Frodo choose for the Fellowship to go through the Mines of Moria?
A: He thought there would be an underground death metal band playing there.
Q: Why did Boromir have hair?
The Elf-warrior
08-14-2006, 03:48 PM
Q: Why did Boromir have hair?
A: Because young military leaders are rarely bald.
Q: Why did Pippin cross the road?
Brinniel
08-14-2006, 06:22 PM
Q: Why did Pippin cross the road?
Because there were mushrooms on the other side!
Q: Why did Tom Bombadil wear yellow boots?
Celuien
08-14-2006, 07:34 PM
Q: Why did Tom Bombadil wear yellow boots?
A: Because they were on sale at Penney's.
Q: How old was the Old Forest?
Q: How old was the Old Forest?
A: Older than the Young Forest.
Q: What did Merry use to clean his ears with?
Valier
08-16-2006, 12:19 AM
Q: What did Merry use to clean his ears with?
A: Merry doesn't clean his ears silly.... :p
Q: Why are Hobbits afraid of water?
Farael
08-16-2006, 07:48 AM
Q: Why are Hobbits afraid of water?
They dissolve (same reason why movie Aragorn doesn't ever take a bath)
Q: Would it be possible for Eru to make a popsicle so big that not even a hobbit could finish it? :p
Hookbill the Goomba
08-16-2006, 09:57 AM
Q: Would it be possible for Eru to make a popsicle so big that not even a hobbit could finish it? :p
A: Theoretically, yes. But it would take so much energy that he'd have to destroy half of Arda. And you wouldn't want that would you?
Q: Why was did Gollum... erm.. gollum?
Q: Why was did Gollum... erm.. gollum?
A: He took too many Giggle Calming Pills.
Q: What was Gandalf's pointy hat made of?
Kitanna
08-17-2006, 06:24 AM
Q: What was Gandalf's pointy hat made of?
A: Cheese.
Q: Why did Denethor make his own pyre?
Glirdan
08-17-2006, 07:23 AM
Q: Why did Denethor make his own pyre?
A: Because he wanted to be the hottest steward ever.
Q: Why did Faramir let Frodo go?
Kitanna
08-17-2006, 07:40 AM
Q: Why did Faramir let Frodo go?
A: He was really trying to catch Merry.
Q: How come Sam had so many kids?
The Elf-warrior
08-18-2006, 08:12 PM
Q: How come Sam had so many kids?
A: He adopted all of Pippin's kids after Child Protective Services took them after a certain incident involving illegal fireworks.
Q: Why did Smaug leave Lake-Town alone for so many years?
Glirdan
08-18-2006, 08:45 PM
Q: Why did Smaug leave Lake-Town alone for so many years?
A: Because he (literally) turned into a chicken near water.
Q: Why did Eru create Arda?
The Sixth Wizard
08-22-2006, 09:24 PM
Q: Why did Eru create Arda?
A: His psychiatrist suggested it as a way to channel his (strange) emotions.
Q: Why do people hate Denethor for killing himself, and yet love Aragorn for 'departing from the world'?
The Only Real Estel
08-22-2006, 09:28 PM
Q: Why do people hate Denethor for killing himself, and yet love Aragorn for 'departing from the world'?
A: Quite simple - Meela has turned everyone towards Denethor & away from Aragorn. ;)
Q: Why did Aragorn carry around a broken sword in The Fellowship of the Ring?
Gurthang
08-22-2006, 09:38 PM
Q: Why did Aragorn carry around a broken sword in The Fellowship of the Ring?
A: He had decided to become a pacifist.
Q: Why did Shelob live near Cirith Ungol?
HerenIstarion
08-23-2006, 01:52 AM
Q: Why did Shelob live near Cirith Ungol?
A. She could not afford rent anywhere else, poor gal...
Q. Why was the Carrock called Carrock?
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
08-23-2006, 06:36 AM
A: It isn't. Its real name, long since corrupted, is car-rock, because it looks like a 1983 Ford Granada.
Q: What was the name of Eorl's horse?
The Elf-warrior
08-23-2006, 03:42 PM
Q: What was the name of Eorl's horse?
A: Muttonhead.
Q: Did Gandalf take Shadowfax to the Lonely Isle?
Rikae
08-25-2006, 01:42 PM
No, because Shadowfax dumped Gandalf when he fell for the Balrog instead. (The Balrog being so hot & all)
Why doesn't Eowyn love Grima?
Gil-Galad
08-25-2006, 02:13 PM
Why doesn't Eowyn love Grima?
A: Because she also fell in love with a Balrog, Johnny the Stinky Balrog to be exact.
Q: If the Mearas are so great, why didn't they make their own nation?
Naria
08-25-2006, 05:28 PM
Q: If the Mearas are so great, why didn't they make their own nation?
A: In all likely hood, The Mirrors....as the ghetto folk would say, wouldn't have been able to have their own nation only because of certain "reflective" issues.
Q: Do you think that Sauron's eye ever got poked or flew into by a bird?
Nogrod
08-25-2006, 05:36 PM
Q: Do you think that Sauron's eye ever got poked or flew into by a bird?A: The uptight and nasty guy he was, that would sound more than probable... Just think of it: flocks of birds constantly flying towards your eye (and thence burning in the vicinity of it with all the screaming and squawking of death)! That would take some nerves to be nice and friendly in the middle of all that?
Q: How is Ilúvatar fighting against boredom in the eternity?
HerenIstarion
08-25-2006, 05:40 PM
Q: Do you think that Sauron's eye ever got poked or flew into by a bird?
A: But of course! Lots of times, almost everyday - there being constantly dark in Mordor, that is... and mainly by Nazgul, not birds, King of Angmar being mostly painful, crown above unseen head et al... Why do you think it was called the red eye, um?
edit: cross-posted with Nogrod, but leaving things be (I like my version better :p)
To Norgrods question, than:
Q: How is Ilúvatar fighting against boredom in the eternity
A: He creates Ainur and they sing. There is no time in eternity, so they may be singing there always, despite what happens down here. From time to time, when he gets bored with just sitting, he stands up and makes exercise for his arms and facial muscles - now smiles, than raises his left hand, and than again his right and so forth
Q: What was Denethor watching in his Palantir by nights?
Boromir88
08-25-2006, 08:19 PM
Q: What was Denethor watching in his Palantir by nights?
A: He was watching the Sopranos. :eek:
Q: Why do the Elves never run out of arrows?
HerenIstarion
08-25-2006, 08:49 PM
Q: Why do the Elves never run out of arrows?
A: Thing is, though almost all elves are experienced yogis, still running on arrow-heads (equally as on broken glass or hot coals) is painful, so they never run out of them, but just walk out of arrows with dignity, smiling abstractedly...
Q: What kind of fish inhabited Gollum's lake?
Rikae
08-26-2006, 09:36 AM
Nemo, his father & Dory.
Why doesn't Gollum wear a shirt, precious?
Q: Why doesn't Gollum wear a shirt, precious?
A: He likes to look at himself in the lake and those clothes just get in the way.
Q: How long is Galadriel's hair?
Hookbill the Goomba
08-26-2006, 12:00 PM
Q: How long is Galadriel's hair?
A: Twice half it's length.
Q: How many pipes did Gandalf take with him?
Kitanna
08-28-2006, 10:01 AM
Q: How many pipes did Gandalf take with him?
A: 5, one for each meal of the day and two extra ones for midnight smokes and then a spare.
Q: How come Bombur was so fat?
Glirdan
08-28-2006, 11:54 AM
Q: How come Bombur was so fat?
A: Because SlimFast didn't work.
Q: Why are Balrogs made of shadow and fire?
Q: Why are Balrogs made of shadow and fire?
A: Because no one is sure if they're male or female they couldn't decide whether to say they were made of sugar and spice or slugs and snails, and so they made up a new option.
Q: Why is Tom Bombadil?
Q: Why is Tom Bombadil?
A: "I sing, therefore I am.", "I sing anoying songs, therefore I am Tom Bombadil."
Q: Why wasn't Smaug a giant butterfly instead of a dragon?
Rikae
08-28-2006, 02:21 PM
Why wasn't Smaug a giant butterfly instead of a dragon?Because JRR Tolkien was deathly afraid of butterflies.
Why do the doors on hobbit holes have the knob in the middle?
Farael
08-28-2006, 04:07 PM
Why do the doors on hobbit holes have the knob in the middle?
Well, we all know that it is easier to produce torque on an object such as a door if the force is applied at the furthest end of the point where such object is turning. That's why door knobs are close to the side of the door rather than in the middle. We all know this.... hobbits did not.
Why do hobbits eat so much?
Hookbill the Goomba
08-30-2006, 02:42 AM
Why do hobbits eat so much?
A - If they didn't their teeth would fall out.
Q - Where did Gandalf get his hat?
Q - Where did Gandalf get his hat?
A: Like you all know by now, Gandalf's hat is made of cheese and so the only place he could have got it has to be the moon.
Q: How long has Gandalf been playing the quitar?
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
08-30-2006, 10:46 AM
A: Three months, on and off. Already he can play the first bars of Smoke on the Water.
Q: What have I got in my pocket?
The Elf-warrior
09-04-2006, 07:52 PM
Q: What have I got in my pocket?
A: Gollum.
Q: What's a Mewlip?
Morsul the Dark
09-05-2006, 08:09 AM
A:a mewlip is a cat of course seeing it always has mew on the lips.
Why did radagast get such a cruddy color?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-05-2006, 08:29 AM
Why did radagast get such a cruddy color?
He was colour blind and thought it was a cooler one.
Q: Why did Smaug sleep on the gold and not in a big expensive bed?
The Elf-warrior
09-05-2006, 02:45 PM
Q: Why did Smaug sleep on the gold and not in a big expensive bed?
A: He liked a very firm mattress.
Who's the Mouth of Sauron?
Morsul the Dark
09-05-2006, 07:09 PM
it was a mistranslation hes really the mouth doctor(ie dentist) of sauron and hes a general because for obvious reasons hes useless as a dentist
Where did bombadil meet golberry?
Gil-Galad
09-05-2006, 08:04 PM
it was a mistranslation hes really the mouth doctor(ie dentist) of sauron and hes a general because for obvious reasons hes useless as a dentist
Where did bombadil meet golberry?
A: At the Enigma/Eru/Tolkien/Valar get Together bash, ironically they were the only two that showed up.
Q: Why did Feanor have 7 sons?
Morsul the Dark
09-05-2006, 09:17 PM
Feanors wife was having trouble having children, so 10 fertility treatments later.....
Why does bilbo comb his foot hair?
Q: Why does bilbo comb his foot hair?
A: That it wouldn't strangle him.
Q: Why did Beorn turn into a bear and not into a krchplin (a mix of a hairy frog and a hairless hobbit)?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-06-2006, 12:32 PM
Q: Why did Beorn turn into a bear and not into a krchplin (a mix of a hairy frog and a hairless hobbit)?
A - Because Krchplins didn't exist. :p
Q - Did Isildur pose for the architects of the Argonath? If so, how long for?
Mithalwen
09-07-2006, 11:32 AM
Q - Did Isildur pose for the architects of the Argonath? If so, how long for?
A He gave them a 2 hour sitting for prelimminary sketches and then used a body double.
Q Why does Bill the Pony return to Bree where he was badly treated rather than Rivendell where he was well treated?
Farael
09-07-2006, 04:16 PM
Q Why does Bill the Pony return to Bree where he was badly treated rather than Rivendell where he was well treated?
Because of the competitions of Prancing in Ponies that were held. Bill had always wanted to be a Prancing Pony during his tweens.
Q: What WAS that thing in the waters outside of Moria?
Boromir88
09-07-2006, 05:48 PM
Q: What WAS that thing in the waters outside of Moria?
A: Gimli's Grandma! :eek: The supposed tentacles were actually braids in grandma's beard.
Q: Why does Gwaihir feel it's his duty to cart around Gandalf's old baggage all the time?
Meneltarmacil
09-07-2006, 06:13 PM
Q: Why does Gwaihir feel it's his duty to cart around Gandalf's old baggage all the time?
A: Because otherwise, Gandalf would kill him, fry him up, and serve him at a banquet.
Q: Why did Sauron make Rings of Power instead of, say, Hats of Power or Shoes of Power?
The Elf-warrior
09-08-2006, 05:50 PM
Q: Why did Sauron make Rings of Power instead of, say, Hats of Power or Shoes of Power?
A: Because Rings of Power has a better ring to it.
Q: Why did Frodo dream about Gandalf's escape from Orthanc?
Naria
09-19-2006, 10:39 AM
Q: Why did Frodo dream about Gandalf's escape from Orthanc?
A: Well Frodo had smoked an amazing amount of weed that night and was thus able to have an elaborate dream such as this. :smokin:
Q: Who would Gollum marry if he survived and became good?
Rikae
09-19-2006, 12:10 PM
Who would Gollum marry if he survived and became good?
Me. :p
What is the best sauce for grilled Balrog wings?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-19-2006, 12:19 PM
What is the best sauce for grilled Balrog wings?
A: Metaphorical BBQ sause.
Q: Did Melkor really want the Silmarills or did he just want to annoy Feanor?
Q: Did Melkor really want the Silmarills or did he just want to annoy Feanor?
A: The latter of course. Didn't you know Melkor was really the phantom in disguise? :p
Q: Why was The Lord of the Rings written?
Farael
09-19-2006, 10:03 PM
Q: Why was The Lord of the Rings written?
A: Because if not, how are we going to notice, dissect and discuss all the mistakes PJ made on the films?
Q: Why is Tom Bombadill such a bad dresser?
Kitanna
09-20-2006, 07:38 AM
Q: Why is Tom Bombadill such a bad dresser?
A: Because he's colorblind.
Q: Why did Grima have to die?
Q: Why did Grima have to die?
A: Grima fell madly in love with Rose, but lost to Sam. He had no more reason to live.
Q: Can the Elves ever grow fat?
Naria
09-20-2006, 12:59 PM
Q: Can the Elves ever grow fat?
A: Probably, but I'd imagine it would be an awful mess to harvest ;)
Q: If an Ent fell in the forest...would anyone hear?
Q: If an Ent fell in the forest...would anyone hear?
A: Sure, the ent itself.
Q: Why don't the Winged Beasts fly away from the Nazgul?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-20-2006, 02:55 PM
Q: Why don't the Winged Beasts fly away from the Nazgul?
A: The Nazgul's metal boots were welded to the Beast's skin.
Q: Did Sauron ever really need the Ring or was he just trying to get a new career in Jewellery making?
The Elf-warrior
09-21-2006, 04:03 PM
Q: Did Sauron ever really need the Ring or was he just trying to get a new career in Jewellery making?
A: He needed it to disguise the weld on his ring finger.
Who was Saruman?
Morsul the Dark
09-21-2006, 04:43 PM
Saruman
Shady
And
Really
Unhappy
Mean
Annoying
Nerd
Saruman is a neerd who was such a big fan of gandalf he copied him and then became leader of the local D&D club
Why does Leglas love his hair
Rikae
09-21-2006, 05:36 PM
Why does Legolas love his hair?
It conceals the bizarre tattoo he got on his scalp as youthful elf (in his early 200's).
Why are hobbits afraid of the water?
Farael
09-21-2006, 09:36 PM
Why are hobbits afraid of the water?
They are Nazghul in disguise.
Why are the Nazghul afraid of water?
(yes, I'm stealing from you Rikae, hope you don't mind)
Hookbill the Goomba
09-22-2006, 12:02 AM
Why are the Nazghul afraid of water?
They are Hobbits in disguise.
Q: Why did Tom Bombadill sing all the time?
Q: Why did Tom Bombadill sing all the time?
A: He was afraid of being suffocated.
Q: Why did Meduseld have a golden roof?
elronds_daughter
09-22-2006, 09:47 AM
Q: Why did Meduseld have a golden roof?
Because platinum was too expensive.
Q: Why did Aragorn use several different aliases?
Kitanna
09-22-2006, 09:56 AM
Q: Why did Aragorn use several different aliases?
A: He was wanted for tax fraud all across Middle-Earth.
Why didn't anyone ride donkeys in Middle-Earth?
Morsul the Dark
09-22-2006, 06:53 PM
thy did The Black steeds were actually donkeys
Where do hobbits come from?
HerenIstarion
09-22-2006, 07:00 PM
Q. Where do hobbits come from?
A. Ah, the story here is almost as it is with fairies - hobbits come from hobbies. Each time a human takes up new hobby, somewhere out there hobbit pops out of the air into existence. Unfortunately, they die the same way - each time a human abandons a hobby, a hobbit dissapears with a plop... alas...
Q. Always wondered, what are real means of waking up drunken goblins, leaving aside elves singing?
The Elf-warrior
09-22-2006, 09:11 PM
Q. Always wondered, what are real means of waking up drunken goblins, leaving aside elves singing?
A: Calling them an upstart or an isosceles triangle is quite effective. If that doesn't work, try pulling their legs.
Are there tomatoes in Middle-earth?
HerenIstarion
09-22-2006, 10:14 PM
Q. Are there tomatoes in Middle-earth?
Not any more. There were some brought from Numenor, but most were eaten up by the Last Alliance during Great Siege, and the last one has been squashed at Sauron's face by joint effort of Elendil and Isildur (you see, weapons broken et al, they have had nothing more suitable handy). In memory of the event (as he was lucky and noone destroyed his Precious), Sauron has chosen Single Red Squashed Tomato for a badge. But orkses are uncultured and uneducated folk, never coming to know particulars of vegetable-growing, so they've thought it was Single Red Eye.
Q. There are some things money can't buy. What is for everything else in ME?
The Elf-warrior
09-23-2006, 09:35 AM
Q. There are some things money can't buy. What is for everything else in ME?
Brute force.
Who is the Necromancer?
elronds_daughter
09-23-2006, 02:46 PM
Who is the Necromancer?
Allison DuBois.
Q: Why was Sauron embodied as a huge eye?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-23-2006, 02:53 PM
Q: Why was Sauron embodied as a huge eye?
A: He wasn't. He was embodied as a full grown man. Yet he had a strange eye desease that made his eye super huge and full of fire.
Q: Who did Trebeard like better? Merry, or Pippin?
elronds_daughter
09-23-2006, 02:58 PM
Q: Who did Treebeard like better? Merry, or Pippin?
A: Merry, of course. Now if he could only find someone named Christmas, he'd be set.
Which brings me to a question...
Q: Did Ents ever look like Christmas trees?
Q: Who did Trebeard like better? Merry, or Pippin?
A: Really hard to compare... Merry was rather sweet, but gave a nasty bitter aftertaste which Treebeard didn't like. Pippin on the other hand was chewy and tasteless, though he contained a lot of calcium and with red ent-drought had a nice subtle taste. Treebeard would prefer to eat both of them again.
Q: Why did Roäc have a bald spot?
elronds_daughter
09-23-2006, 03:02 PM
Uh-oh...cross-post...
Naria
09-23-2006, 04:02 PM
Daughter you technically had your post up first, so it's your question next. If you have an answer for Volo's...that seems to work the best. Then put your question up again. :) or whatevers
The Sixth Wizard
09-23-2006, 06:34 PM
Why did Roäc have a bald spot?
He wanted to emulate the American Bald Eagle, ignorant of the fact that they aren't actually bald.
And...
Q: Did Ents ever look like Christmas trees?
A: Yes. In fact, that's where the Entwives went. You see, many of Santa's elves rebelled against their master after Christmas went missing, and swore a deadly oath to regain Christmas from whomsoever took it from them (incidentally it was the Grinch), and Santa did not have enough elves to go around. So he enslaved the Entwife populace and stuck 'presents' underneath them, and cut them down to make all his wooden toys. Mean old person.
Why didn't the Valar just forgive the Noldor after Feanor died and killed off Morgoth earlier?
The Elf-warrior
09-23-2006, 10:40 PM
Q: Why didn't the Valar just forgive the Noldor after Feanor died and killed off Morgoth earlier?
A: Because they were waiting for Venus to come.
Q: Who can stand against both Sauron and Saruman?
Gil-Galad
09-24-2006, 02:10 AM
[B]Q: Who can stand against both Sauron and Saruman?
A: Why, Johnny the Stinky Balrog of course!!
Q: Why did the Mumak cross the Harad-Road?
elronds_daughter
09-24-2006, 07:38 AM
Q: Why did the Mumak cross the Harad-Road?
A: Because someone was pulling on its ear. It didn't want to go, but it didn't have a choice! Poor thing.
Q: What was it with the Haradrim and face-paint?
Farael
09-25-2006, 09:48 PM
Q: What was it with the Haradrim and face-paint?
A: Not everyone can afford good make-up! And they had to cover that BAD acne somehow.
Q: howcome Ents, living for thousands of years and always drinking Ent draughts did not grow to unfathomable heights? (after all, if Merry and Pippin grew noticeably after only a few drinks, what could a few ages of drinking do to an Ent?)
Q: howcome Ents, living for thousands of years and always drinking Ent draughts did not grow to unfathomable heights? (after all, if Merry and Pippin grew noticeably after only a few drinks, what could a few ages of drinking do to an Ent?)
A: In reality Ents hate the flavour of Ent draught and spit it out when noone is looking.
Q: Why did Turin kill himself?
elronds_daughter
09-26-2006, 08:14 AM
Q: Why did Turin kill himself?
A: He didn't. He hired a stunt double to do it for him.
Q: How'd Gandalf go from being "the Grey" to being "the White" again?
Brinniel
09-26-2006, 02:54 PM
Q: How'd Gandalf go from being "the Grey" to being "the White" again?
A: One word: bleach
Q: Why did Pippin look into the palantir?
Farael
09-26-2006, 10:02 PM
Q: Why did Pippin look into the palantir?
A: 'cos he wanted to use it to see why in Eru's name the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why is there no mention of female orcs?
Q: Why is there no mention of female orcs?
A: Yes there is! They are called Dwarves...
Q: What was the One Ring really made of?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-27-2006, 11:53 AM
Q: What was the One Ring really made of?
A; 10,000 year old Chocolate.
Q: Why did Feanor burst into flames when he died?
elronds_daughter
09-27-2006, 03:30 PM
Q: Why did Feanor burst into flames when he died?
A: A balrog was hiding under his skin.
Q: How did they know when all the ages ended?
HerenIstarion
09-27-2006, 03:46 PM
Q. How did they know when all the ages ended?
A. Big counter in the sky went to zero and stopped there
Q. Were there schools in the Shire?
Nogrod
09-27-2006, 04:20 PM
Q. Were there schools in the Shire?A: Thinking about the seemingly high literacy among the Hobbits, there must have been. And how else would one be able to explain the generous free time the adults seem to have had in Shire if the kids were not some elsewhere most of the day? :)
Q: Was there ever an uprising, or a popular dissatisfaction, against the reign of Aragorn in the Shire?
doom_hammer
09-28-2006, 02:43 AM
A:i guess there would be after all they didnt get to vote on it
Q: what would a half elf halk man be called
Thinlómien
09-28-2006, 03:04 AM
Q: what would a half elf halk man be called
A: Agent Smith.
Q: Why didn't Frodo marry?
doom_hammer
09-28-2006, 03:11 AM
orignally posted by Thinlomien
Q: Why didn't Frodo marry?
A: he had a love affiar with sam
Q:why dont they use guns
Hookbill the Goomba
09-28-2006, 07:32 AM
Q:why dont they use guns
A: They were SO last age!
Q: What did Denethor really keep in the Tower?
elronds_daughter
09-28-2006, 09:03 AM
Q: What did Denethor really keep in the Tower?
A: A harem! Either that or a demented ex-girlfriend. I can't remember which.
Q: Did balrogs have wings?
Rikae
09-28-2006, 12:47 PM
Did Balrogs have wings?
They did, until Pippin and Denethor cut them off and ate them.
Did the river folk have beards?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-28-2006, 12:50 PM
Did the river folk have beards?
Yes, they kept them in small boxes under their beds and collected as many as possible in a variety of colours.
Q - How did they convince Thorin to join the battle of five armies?
Q - How did they convince Thorin to join the battle of five armies?
A: They didn't, Thorin actually slipped while he was laughing at the fight on the wall, the other dwarves followed Thorin because they all wanted Thorin's belt incase he died.
Q: What are the ingredients of a Troll?
The Elf-warrior
09-28-2006, 03:20 PM
Q: What are the ingredients of a Troll?
A: Stone, mutton, and Cockney slang.
Q: Are there peacocks in Middle-earth?
Meneltarmacil
09-28-2006, 03:47 PM
Q: Are there peacocks in Middle-earth?
No, the killer platypuses (platypi?) ate them all.
Q: Why didn't Elrond just shove Isildur into the Crack of Doom?
The Elf-warrior
09-28-2006, 03:58 PM
Q: Why didn't Elrond just shove Isildur into the Crack of Doom?
A: Because Isildur would have shoved him into Mt. Doom.
Q: Why did Bilbo leave the Shire on his 111th birthday?
doom_hammer
09-28-2006, 07:51 PM
Q: Why did Bilbo leave the Shire on his 111th birthday? A: moses told him to leave
Q: ARE THERE ANY DRAGONS LEFT ...
Farael
09-28-2006, 08:42 PM
Q: ARE THERE ANY DRAGONS LEFT ...
A: Yes, the Green Dragon
Q: What ship bore Gandalf across so wide a sea?
doom_hammer
09-28-2006, 08:44 PM
Q: What ship bore Gandalf across so wide a sea?
A: the wide ship
Q: who does sam like
Q: who does sam like
A: My grandmother's dog.
Q: Why didn't Bilbo kill Gollum when he had the chance?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-29-2006, 08:03 AM
Q: Why didn't Bilbo kill Gollum when he had the chance?
A - Gollum pressed the fire alarm and Bilbo had to go and line up outside.
Q - Did Radagast ever see Saruman after the fall of Isenguard?
doom_hammer
09-29-2006, 01:35 PM
Q - Did Radagast ever see Saruman after the fall of Isenguard?
A: no the ents ate saruman
Q: why would you put power into a ring ???
Hookbill the Goomba
09-29-2006, 02:30 PM
Q: why would you put power into a ring ???
A - It was more subtle than a GIANT HAT!
Q - What did Barrow Wights eat?
Naria
09-29-2006, 02:43 PM
Q - What did Barrow Wights eat
A: Oddly enough, they actually really like Ent droppings! :eek: :D
Q: Do you think that Hobbits had foot fetishes?
doom_hammer
09-29-2006, 02:53 PM
Q: Do you think that Hobbits had foot fetishes?
A: how could they not those furry little feet
Q: how old is frodo at the end of lord of the rings ???
Kitanna
09-30-2006, 09:02 AM
Q: how old is frodo at the end of lord of the rings ???
A: Old enough to be your father.
Q:Why was Bilbo chosen to be the Thief?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-30-2006, 11:09 AM
Q:Why was Bilbo chosen to be the Thief?
A - Gandalf had always suspected him as the one who stole his favourite pipe.
Q - When did Morgoth finnaly realise that the other Valar weren't going to join him?
Boromir88
09-30-2006, 11:21 AM
Q - When did Morgoth finnaly realise that the other Valar weren't going to join him?
A: When they rejected Morgoth's secret weapon he had never dared use before, the irresistable never-ending gobstoppers.
Q: What's Legolas' age?
Hookbill the Goomba
09-30-2006, 11:25 AM
Q: What's Legolas' age?
A - 4 and a half. He used stilts most of the time.
Q - Who named Beleriand?
Q - Who named Beleriand?
A: J.K. Rowling
Q: What(/who) is Denethor's perfume made of?
elronds_daughter
09-30-2006, 03:03 PM
Q: What(/who) is Denethor's perfume made of?
A: Whom, my dear fellow, Dr. H. T. Whom, foremost Gondorian scholar of the Third Age, was granted this distinctive posthumous honor.
Q: Did hobbits ever not celebrate anything?
doom_hammer
09-30-2006, 05:00 PM
Q: Did hobbits ever not celebrate anything?
A: No they took any chance they could to drink.
Q:HOW TALL WAS THE TALLEST DWAF
Q:HOW TALL WAS THE TALLEST DWAF
A: Two feet shorter than the shortest dwarf :p
Q: How will Turin manage to kill Morgoth in the Last Battle?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-01-2006, 09:02 AM
Q: How will Turin manage to kill Morgoth in the Last Battle?
A - By offering him a cup of poisoned gin... then beating him over the head with it.
Q - What were Fingolfin's last words?
Meneltarmacil
10-01-2006, 11:18 AM
Q - What were Fingolfin's last words?
A: "Ow! Oof! Ooh! Ouch! Aieeee!"
Q: How, exactly, did the rabbits eat Gandalf? (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=491511&postcount=3876)
(I never actually gave it a great deal of thought...)
Q: How, exactly, did the rabbits eat Gandalf?
A: In the same way that wereducks eat elves; anachronistically.
Q: Why are the elves immortal?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-01-2006, 11:48 AM
Q: Why are the elves immortal?
A - They're not. But they are ridiculously longeable. But that is only because of a typing error on the best before date when Eru was tyred in the morning.
Q - When was the last time Smaug brushed his teeth?
doom_hammer
10-01-2006, 02:12 PM
Q - When was the last time Smaug brushed his teeth?[/B]
A: the day before last
Q: WHO KILLED ARAGONS FATHER
Hookbill the Goomba
10-01-2006, 02:30 PM
Q: WHO KILLED ARAGONS FATHER
A - You did. Don't you remember. :p
Q - How many Trolls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
elronds_daughter
10-01-2006, 02:46 PM
Q - How many Trolls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. But he won't finish 'til sunrise, and it's an outdoor bulb, so....
Q: How old was Arwen?
doom_hammer
10-01-2006, 02:53 PM
Q: How old was Arwen?
A: 74
Q: DO HOBITS STILL LIVE TODAY?
Gil-Galad
10-01-2006, 05:09 PM
Q: DO HOBITS STILL LIVE TODAY?
A: Obviously, they live on the moon, thats why the moon-hobbits never visit us.
Q: Why to Eagles help the elves?
Brinniel
10-01-2006, 05:23 PM
Q: Why to Eagles help the elves?
A: Because they are being blackmailed....which leads to the next question:
Q: What could the elves possibly blackmail the eagles with?
High King Fingolfin
10-01-2006, 05:38 PM
Originally Posted by Brinniel
Q: What could the elves possibly blackmail the eagles with?
A: The secret that the Eagles were actually the Fell Beasts' cousins.
Q: How did Gandalf get a new staff after he lost his old one?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-02-2006, 01:43 AM
Q: How did Gandalf get a new staff after he lost his old one?
A - There was a staff shop in Rohan. Business was slow and so the owner had been working with Saruman to try and get Gandalf to lose his staff. Funnily enough, he spent more money on the plot that Gandalf did on his new staff.
Q - Did the Balrog really want to kill Gandalf?
Kitanna
10-02-2006, 07:34 AM
Q - Did the Balrog really want to kill Gandalf?
A: No, he just wanted to settle the score after their last meeting where Gandalf made the Balrog pick up the check. He "forgot" his wallet.
Q: Did Gollum really want to catch a fish?
doom_hammer
10-02-2006, 03:41 PM
Q: Did Gollum really want to catch a fish?
A: no he was looking for gold.
Q:HOW DID THE WEREDUCKS EAT THE ELVES???
Naria
10-02-2006, 03:52 PM
Q:HOW DID THE WEREDUCKS EAT THE ELVES???
Ummm, lets not get too far off this thing being Tolkien related shall we! ;) :)
Rikae
10-03-2006, 02:24 PM
Q:HOW DID THE WEREDUCKS EAT THE ELVES???
With great relish, on open faced LAAAAMbas bread.
Q: Tell me, where is Gandalf (for I much desire to speak with him)?
The Elf-warrior
10-03-2006, 09:36 PM
Q: Tell me, where is Gandalf (for I much desire to speak with him)?
A: At the bottom of a pond grappling with a bullfrog.
Q: Who is Gimli?
doom_hammer
10-04-2006, 04:17 AM
Q: Who is Gimli?
A: nobody
Q:WHAT IS A WARG
The Sixth Wizard
10-04-2006, 04:39 AM
What is a Warg?
Just a really big rat.
Who REALLY is Tom Bombadil?
doom_hammer
10-04-2006, 06:14 AM
Who REALLY is Tom Bombadil?
A: my father.
Q: what is Golem
elronds_daughter
10-04-2006, 07:14 AM
Q: what is Golem
A (v. 1.0): "Golem" would have been the great-great-great-great-great-great-granduncle of Deagol, had he lived.
A: (v. 2.6): What is Gollum? Gollum wasn't. He was merely a figment of Bilbo's (and everyone else's) imagination.
Q: Why didn't Bilbo just keep the ring?
doom_hammer
10-04-2006, 07:53 AM
Q: Why didn't Bilbo just keep the ring?
A: gandalf was going to cut his fingers off
Q: why didnt frodo keep the ring???
OrcLeaderalpha
10-05-2006, 05:31 AM
Why are you guys asking stupid questions.
Answer- You have to much time on your hands.
OrcLeaderalpha, I suggest you read the first post of thread before you post yourself.
Q: why didnt frodo keep the ring???
A: The tax on magical rings was going up.
Q: Why didn't Galadriel turn Gimli into a rat?
Farael
10-05-2006, 10:14 AM
Q: Why didn't Galadriel turn Gimli into a rat?
Disclaimer: This only applies to movie-Gimli
A:Because not even rats would accept a plot-line that includes them burping.
Q: How long is the Straight Road?
elronds_daughter
10-05-2006, 02:01 PM
Q: How long is the Straight Road?
A: Not very. But it's really wide.
Q: What kind of elf was Legolas?
Rikae
10-05-2006, 03:31 PM
Q: What kind of elf was Legolas?
Homo Elvis Heartthrobius
Q: What kind of dwarf was Gimli?
Hookbill the Goomba
10-06-2006, 12:47 AM
Q: What kind of dwarf was Gimli?
A - The bearded kind.
Q - What is the best way to stop Aragorn in a battle?
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