Several New Subsections Required By Cranky Old Windbag

[Kalessin]

I am feeling particularly cranky tonight, and as Christmas approaches I expect a cloud of Scrooge-like brusqueness to settle semi-permanently around my head ...

So can I suggest for purely selfish reasons that the following Forums are created here on BD -

1. The "Not Remotely Fascinating" What If Forum

... which I will deflower with my thread "what if Tolkien hadn't written the book in other words Tolkien wrote the book and we know what happened in the book and what happened was meant to happen and since Tolkien wrote it if YOU change it it's not Tolkien or Lord of the Rings any more but if you really find this interesting why don't you write an alternative story and post it in fanfic which would then be a worthwhile use of your imagination"

2. The "Hey Dude" Who Is The Coolest/Cutest/Greatest/Smartest/Baddest/Oldest (etc. etc.) Man/Elf/Maia/Orc (etc. etc.) Forum

... to which I will not contribute to on the grounds that I don't even care about my opinions on this matter.

3. The "Too Much Time On My Hands" I'm Wondering Do Orcs have Retractible Whiskers Forum

... to which I invite one and all to substitute their own preferred question, such as "Um, if you have really pointy ears does that make you, like, an uber-elf?", or "What does Old Toby smell like in Winter?". Only those with suitable (inane)questions or those who indeed have suitable answers, should contribute. My own answers are not printable.

Should these sub-forums be created, it is conceivable that the series of humourous, interesting and insightful threads already present on the various current Forums will not be lost among the mire, and will run their course until replaced at the top of the most recent list with equally excellent examples.

Bah Humbug smilies/mad.gif

PS I will review this post following my next meal and if it clashes with my carefully-faked persona (that of a tolerant, good-natured liberal philosopher) I may order Bob Cratchit to delete it immediately.

[ November 30, 2002: Message edited by: Kalessin ]

[HerenIstarion]

who's Bob Cratchit, I wondersss, yes-s-s, my precious-s-sss, I does-s-sss

[Rimbaud]

Catch up on your Dickens, HI. Read something seasonal. smilies/wink.gif

Kalessin, such forums do exist. They exist in our own selective processes. I trust you have your inbuilt 'Favourite Elf' Ignore Function turned on?

Rimbaud
~ in loving memory of thinking that calling a pub "The Mule an' Rouge" would be clever.

[Kalessin]

Kalessin, such forums do exist. They exist in our own selective processes

Well, the forums I mentioned actually only exist in my fevered imagination smilies/smile.gif. The judgement about whether or how the organisation or structure of an edifice (a bulletin board, a school etc.) reflects an assumed hierarchy and to some degree a consensus - or a form of oppression, elitism and restriction, is a difficult one.

Indeed, at all times we do have (in theory at least) the control and choice that you describe.

But structures also exist to facilitate and empower (I sound like a management textbook smilies/smile.gif) and to simplify access to information, interaction and so on.

Where the lines are drawn, and at what point guidelines become bureaucracy, labels become prisons, group dynamics become a clique, or shorthand becomes jargon and so on ... I doubt there truly can be a utopia where freedom of choice and empowerment coexist in harmony. Some kinds of freedom are more dangerous and imprisoning than any cell ... Golding's 'Lord of the Flies' was an interesting exploration of this whole area (among others).

This was one of my less serious posts, but I am always happy to share ideas about how structured and facilitated interaction can be a good thing, or can be a bad thing. And I'm positively ancient, remember, so I should always get whatever I want smilies/smile.gif

Peace smilies/smile.gif

Kalessin

PS. I am available for management seminars and breakout sessions for senior executives at a suitably exorbitant fee should anyone be interested, and promise to throw in references to Drucker, the Bell Curve, Emotional Intelligence and the 'Why Consultants Are Good For Business' theory at regular intervals smilies/biggrin.gif

[HerenIstarion]

Rimbaud, touché smilies/smile.gif

[Arwen Imladris]

PS I will review this post following my next meal and if it clashes with my carefully-faked persona (that of a tolerant, good-natured liberal philosopher) I may order Bob Cratchit to delete it immediately.

You haven't done that yet so I assume that you are really a Cranky Old Windbag. smilies/wink.gif

[Kalessin]

Absolutely smilies/smile.gif

The fact that my post was attempting to make a mild comment in a humorous way implies how deeply (or not) I feel about the whole issue. However, as a professional windbag I am always ready to engage in discussion.

Bob Cratchit has, in fact, been out in the wintry streets (in bare feet, naturally)looking for matches from a starving matchgirl (whom I resent paying, naturally)with which to light my ancient stove, so my repast has not yet been consumed. At my age, any decision takes time and indeed trouble. And just what is that strange clanking noise?

Peace smilies/smile.gif

Kalessin

[Lush]

Ah, your cleverness exceeds us all, Kalessin. Now, what I wouldn't give for a "LotR on Drugs" forum, where we can all discuss our visions of Vingilot blazing up the skies over our dormitory, while our friends are trying to carry us inside before the cops arrive.

[HerenIstarion]

cuz i got hi, cuz i got hi...

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Tut, tut. Those undergraduates and their crazy antics. I suppose that Eärendil waved at you as well. smilies/smile.gif

[ December 10, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Elenna]

No! H-I, you're messing with my worldview.

[Liriodendron]

I like old windbags...(for a little while smilies/smile.gif ). Put a "Things They Wouldn't Do and Would Never Happen" forum up too. Many seem to live in the anti-world. smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/wink.gif

[Lush]

Undergraduates? Dude, it's the faculty! They're old enough by now to have figured out that certain substances reduce crankiness by half.

[Kalessin]

Bah humbug smilies/redface.gif

Rather than kowtow to the hegemony of self-actualising hedonism, I will refine my crankiness through arcane and long-forgotten alchemy until it becomes, indeed, liquid dyspepsia - a draught to which there is no antidote save schadenfreude smilies/wink.gif

Still, I'm always grateful for the company smilies/smile.gif

Peace

K

[ December 12, 2002: Message edited by: Kalessin ]

[Lush]

Hedonism? Who? Moi? You are crankier than you realize. I suggest a bottle of Stoli, a salted pickle, and a picture of Legolas installed over your desk. Pronto.

[Kalessin]

Um, I've been reading the new forum rules and I realise that I'm not allowed to add a reply that just says -


Yeah, I agree with Lush ... smilies/smile.gif


- which is a shame, as I normally do. Perhaps we should have new subsection for 'Agreements and Concurrings'. Not that I'd ever start any posts (who ever agrees with me? sob). Anyway, surely a picture of Legolas under the desk is far more meaningful?

Peace smilies/smile.gif

Kalessin

[ December 12, 2002: Message edited by: Kalessin ]

[VanimaEdhel]

Can we install a "Like, what's, like, WITH..." Forum? Because the "Oh my God! What's with the Silmarillion?!?!" posts are really getting on my nerves. If they had a specific question, I would not be throwing fits, but they say, "Okay...someone explain it to me!"...What? The whole book? I'm going to explain the whole book? If you don't understand it (why you would not, I have not clue, it's fairly easy in my point of view), maybe you should put it aside for a few years and try again later. I'm not the brightest crayon, I admit, and you guys that know me can vouch for that, but I understood it. I don't understand what the big mystery is. It's just words; and not difficult words at that. We should just have a "Cliff's Notes: The Silmarillion" online somewhere, I think. Then everyone that asks for us to go through and explain ALL of The Sil (chapter by chapter, I guess?) will be able to read it for themselves! And, if you have a specific question, go ahead, answer it! I just am tired of hearing people to ask for explanations of all 300 pages (that's how many my edition has, anyway) in one post. And there are so many asking that! Can they all just have one big, long list of people saying, "HELP ME!" in one thread instead of numerous? As I said, specifics are okay, but the "whole plot summary" question is just starting to make me have fits over here!

Okay...just got a little mad and this thread looked like a good place to post that...I'm okay now...I just needed to rant.

And why do the more intelligent members insist on using prolixity to make us all feel inferior? I wish some of them would realize that some of us are fifteen and do not have a vocabulary the size of the former U.S.S.R....okay: I'm done ranting! *Hugs everyone because she feels better now*

I'm quixotic, what can I say? So, shoot me...or defenistrate me...whichever would be easier...

What other Forums do you guys want?

EDIT: So far I agree with you, Kalessin!

[ December 14, 2002: Message edited by: VanimaEdhel ]

[Liriodendron]

I looked up prolixity! Yes, I agree! (and I'm 47!) I read some of these "wordy wonders" and marvel! Prolixic windbags! smilies/wink.gif smilies/wink.gif Heehee!

[the real findorfin]

proxi..,guh????

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

One man's prolixity is another's eloquence. Think of it as an opportunity to expand your vocabularies.

[Liriodendron]

Yes, yes, no insult intended, I finally gave up though. I tried to join in, but it just wasn't me. Enjoy! smilies/smile.gif smilies/cool.gif

[dragoneyes]

some forum all about elves is needed, just look down the novices and newbies forum and you'll see a few random interesting topics scattered among thousand of afore mentioned topics and the hundreds of "what happens to elves when..." "do/can/are elves..." highly uninteresting. Also no more comparing Tolkien to other writers, people get so hot and bothered over nothing!

[Lush]

I wish some of them would realize that some of us are fifteen and do not have a vocabulary the size of the former U.S.S.R...

It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it, mein Schatz. smilies/wink.gif

[VanimaEdhel]

It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it, mein Schatz.

Aaah, the joy of innuendo.

And I agree with the "Elf" comments. And can we have a new, "Where can I learn Elvish?" Forum? I know we already have a Language Forum, but there are so many where they just say, "Wow! Where do you guys LEARN all this?!?!" We should just have a Forum where people can post names of accurate and inaccurate sites to learn Elvish/sites with Elvish dictionaries (don't go to Grey-Company! It is the spawn of Melkor!)

[Lush]

Aaah, the joy of innuendo.

It's more of a pun, actually. Then again, is there such a thing as a pun on a common expression, as opposed to a pun on a word? Maybe we should start a scholarly diry jokes forum.

[ December 16, 2002: Message edited by: Lush ]

[Diamond18]

What we all really, desperately need is a "Who is the Hottest Actor?" forum, right alongside a "How Would You Kill Liv Tyler?" forum, right alongside an "If You Could By Some Twist of Fate Enter Arda/Middle-earth/Valinor/the Void What Would You Do?" forum. (Okay, I'll admit I've posted in that last genre...).

Or, my personal favorite, "A Really Inane and Insipid Thread That Leaves My Threads (Which I Created With Love and Tender Care) in the Dust, Five Pages Down with About Ten Replies".

Well, since we are being really old and crotchety, why not? (I've always been old and crotchety, even when I was in kindergarten). But seriously (okay, half-seriously), it does get my goat when one of those threads gets 20 replies in 2 minutes...

Can we install a "Like, what's, like, WITH..." Forum?

Ditto to everything along those lines, Vanima. smilies/wink.gif

[ December 16, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[VanimaEdhel]

Maybe we should start a scholarly dirty jokes forum.

Hmmm...I would frequent that regularly...maybe not to post a reply, but to read them all...

Ditto to everything along those lines, Vanima.

Hey! They're right! We do need a ditto Forum!

Hmmm...we need a "My response is almost fully in the form of quoting and responding to quote" forum...I always use about 50 billion quotes in all my posts...

[ December 31, 2002: Message edited by: VanimaEdhel ]

[Sindafalathiel]

And can we have a new, "Where can I learn Elvish?" Forum?
I completely agree. I have been longing to learn elvish ever since I saw FotR and I haven't learned it yet.

[Diamond18]

I really most sincerely would like to advocate a forum for stubborn newbies who refuse to follow the guidelines. We could call it:

"I Am Perfectly Aware that this Topic Has One or More Threads Devoted to it Already, but I Find Reading Other People's Threads Boring So I Am Going to Start Yet Another One Anyway, and Ignore You When You Post Links to the Other Threads and Tell Me to Get With the Program, Because Other Stubborn Newbies Like Me Will Post in Mine as Long as Possible Before a Beleaguered Moderator Finds Time to Wade Through the Swamp That is Called 'The Movies' and Close It."

One sentence people! I turn run-on sentences into artwork...oh yeah... Anyway, don't mind me. I just had to get that out of my system. Anyone who's been in the Movies lately will know just what I mean.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I second that notion, Diamond, since I know well what you mean! I am often tempted to answer those posts that say: "I haven't read what all the others have written, but I want to answer anyway" with a heartfelt: "So why should we bother to read your post???"

[Kalessin]

Like, what's with this, maaaaaaaaan smilies/mad.gif

Estelyn, I have not read everything what you have wrote but I sorta agree.

Bah smilies/confused.gif

Kalessin

[ January 05, 2003: Message edited by: Kalessin ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

ditto

[Mister Underhill]

Maybe this is answered up above, but don't you hate it when people don't read the thread?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I have the ideal solution: We can open a forum for posting only - no reading! It could be routinely deleted every week, since no one is going to read it anyway. That way it never gets too long. It wouldn't need moderating, since the content is of no importance. I think this would be the perfect forum for our site!

[Bêthberry]

I dont' no aboutt hat. some ppl dont ha ve time to even proofread there onw psts, soyou shoudnt be to hard. whers the fun if you h a ve to reaad/

[Kalessin]

Estelyn smilies/smile.gif

The blank post forum is a winner. Or perhaps one smiley (accompanied by a half-page signature and low-resolution graphic).

Anyway, I think we have scientifically proved beyond all doubt that the posts I like are definitely the best and most worthwhile, especially those written by me (and the people who like me). Obscurantism, prolixity and elitism rocks, dude smilies/cool.gif

But seriously, can someone explain quickly what The Silmarillion is all about? And how come Elves don't get tired? And if female dwarves have heavy duty facial hair, then what about ... er, I think we all know where I'm going. Anyway, does Tom Bombadil keep the Entwives under his hat? Most importantly, the question that really bugs me - what did the music of the Ainur sound like ... was it kinda rocky and grand (new genre = R&G), you know, a la Wagner played by Spinal Tap, or was it more spiritual like the theme from Star Wars?

I aslo think good speeling is improtnat.

Kalessin smilies/rolleyes.gif

[ January 08, 2003: Message edited by: Kalessin ]

[VanimaEdhel]

Anyway, I think we have scientifically proved beyond all doubt that the posts I like are definitely the best and most worthwhile, especially those written by me (and the people who like me). Obscurantism, prolixity and elitism rocks, dude

I didn't really read it, but ditto...

I just can't bring myself to have typos...I'm trying, I really am...but it looks so wrong.

[Bekah]

This is interesting indeed. There was a link to it from Bill Ferny's 'What if I...SCREAM?!' I would probably never have entered it, if Lush hadn't intrigued me by mentioning that one of her more embarrasing posts - the one with Valinor decorating the sky - was in it.

I cannot bring myself to write typos deliberately, nor abbreviate chat-style. It feels horrible and unfamiliar, and, as VanimaEdhel puts it - wrong.

But I definitely like threads where people who I know and respect, so to speak, have posted. It indicates that they have thought the thread worth their time - so I continue reading.

I don't understand people when they say 'I haven't read right through, but...' - one, as Estelyn points out - why should we bother to read their post if they won't read ours? And two, if you don't read the posts, it often happens that you don't know what's happening in those later pages. Consequently the post is repetitive and way behind the times.

So open the 'hypothetical questions' forum and the 'Random Questions to plague everyone with' forum. And last, but most definitely not least, you should open the 'Hottest Actor' forum.

Perhaps a forum where you can rant without being off topic, since there is no topic?

Cheers,

~ Elentari II

[VanimaEdhel]

How about the conversation Forum? Where people can carry on conversations for hours that are in no way related to Tolkien, as they are all on at the same time. And it can even be done through Private Messages so that they can have personal discussions! What's that you say? A Chatroom? What a brilliant idea! That way they can Chat LIVE without using up precious Forum space. Really? You already have one? Amazing! *Just a reminder to the people that seem to be having fun getting off-topic a lot as of late*

[HerenIstarion]

Since it is again Christmas approaching, and I expect a cloud of Scrooge-like brusqueness to settle semi-permanently around my head as well as Kalessin did then, let this thread go up

But as it is more on a humorous side of the 'Announcements and Obituaries', I suggest also it'd be moved to Mirth forum

Cheers

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I'm thinking bumping subforums.

Of course, you, Georgian George, would be mod. ;)

[Saraphim]

I've wondered ceaselessly over What Would You Be In Middle-Earth?

I'm pretty sure we've got one, but I won't cross-reference. That's for nerds.

Personally, I'd be an elf, because they're pretty!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

So you can put all those faux pas posts in one place. Hopefully, someone will come and delete the whole thing.

Well, there's still the memory of the post . . .

Have an accidental amnesia on purpose, then. The subforum's purpose is just to remove reminders of those embarassing moments.