Movie Bloopers!

[Gamja]

I've always wanted to do one of these. smilies/evil.gif

Battle of Helm's Deep: *Aragorn tells the archeres behing him to fire, but one arrow sticks him through the back of the head, Open eyed, Aragorn falls face forward*

Man who shot the arrow: Oops. Sorry. smilies/frown.gif

[Manardariel]

Aragorn comes to Helms Deep
Legolas: You´re late
Aragorn: A hero, Legolas, is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisly when he intended to....

End of Helms Deep
Eowyn*runs to Aragorn, starts kissing him*
Aragorn(thinking) Hey! This isn´t half bad...

Eowyn&Aragorn are duelling.
Eowyn:*stares*
Aragorn:What?
Eowyn:*stares even more* Oh. My. God.
Aragorn: What? *turnes around*
Aragorn:*stares* Oh. My. God.
Peter Jackson: What?
Eowyn&Aragorn: *stare more*
PJ: *turnes around* Oh. My. God.
Gimli(at other end of set) I´m to sexy for my shirt, to sexy for my shirt.... *strips*

[laziieye]

Wow. Thats a new way of looking at Gimli, of the likes i have never seen before. o smilies/eek.gif

[Daewen]

*hehe...that last one was good...*

Legolas at Helms Deep: *singing* Everybaody was kung fu fighting! Huh! *stabs orc* Those cats were fast as lightning! Huh! *stabs another orc* It was a little bit frightening...

Merry in Fangorn Forest after Treebeard picks them up: Say, is that an apple! *pulls apple off of treebeards branches*

Saruman: You cannot leave, Gandalf!
Gandalf: Alright, slumber party!

[Daewen]

Gandalf to Balrog: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!
Balrog: *turns around and looks at orcs* He says we can't pass. *shouts from orcs that he shouldn't back down* You tell him! He's scary!

Sam in Bree: Let him go, or I'll have you Longshanks!
Pippin: Hic...hic...man, that was some seriously good ale Peter...woah I'm totally hammered...
Peter Jackson: BILLY! You weren't supposed to actually drink it! CUT!

[Aragorn52]

Ok...i'll try some

Two Towers Ones:

When Arwen is leaving Rivendell she turns back to look at Elrond, he says
"May the force be with you"

At the end of the battle scene of Helm's Deep, and Eowyn runs up to hug Aragorn, he moves and she falls down the stairs. Aragorn laughs.

FOTR ones:

When the Fellowship is in awe at Galadriel, Celeborn falls over, reavealing him to be a cardboard cutout.

Sauron streaches out his hand to Isildur, then roars "Pull my FINGER!"

Thats all i have for now...

[Sindafalathiel]

At Helm's Deep:
Legolas is slidingf down the stairs on the sheild, when at the bottom it tips and falls over. everyone, orcs, elves, Gimli &humans laughs.

[Meela]

god... i just fell off my chair laughing at the celeborn-cardboard-cutout one!! smilies/biggrin.gif

these are really good smilies/biggrin.gif

[Daewen]

Arwen: DO you remember what i told you?
Aragorn: Uh...yeah...wait no...wait...um...you said...I had a nice a$$?
PJ: CUT! CUT! CUT!

[Manardariel]

Aragorn gives Arwen her pendanr back.
Arwen: It was a gift... a gift to use against Sauron
PJ: CUT!! CUT!! THIS-IS-NOT-FotR!!!!!!!!!!!

[VanimaEdhel]

Aragorn: Legolas! What do your Elf eyes see?
Legolas: I see...Liv Tyler dressing! Ooooo!
Peter Jackson: Cuuuuuuuut!

*Something that actually happened in the Extended Version, according to Mr. Bloom*
Gimli: Well, do you know what this Dwarf says to that? Ishkha-blast! What does this Dwarf say to that?

(John Rhys-Davies apparently kept forgetting that it was Ishkhaqui ai durugnul)

Haldir: *dies*
*Ten thousand women, myself included, storm the set and gather around Craig Parker, weeping hysterically and screaming, "Nooooooo! Noooooooo! It can't be! Noooooooo!"*
Peter Jackson: Cuuuuuuut!

Legolas: *surfs down the stairs, with the "Back to the Future" music playing in the background...he slips, and flips off the side of the stairway* OUCH!
Peter Jackson: Cuuuuuuuut!

Legolas: *goes to mount the horse, but gets trampled* OUCH!
Peter Jackson: Cuuuuuuuuut! Is it still too late to get Leonardo DiCaprio for this part?

[LePetitChoux]

Legolas: He is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell

*An old, lame fat horse crawls up*

Aragorn: Hmm, I guess it was a spell.
Gandalf: Shut up. It was the best horse I could afford.

[ January 05, 2003: Message edited by: LePetitChoux ]

[Meela]

The elves arrive at Helms Deep and line up behind the wall.
It starts raining. 2,000 umbrellas shoot up in the air.
The Uruk-Hai advance. The elves drop the umbrellas and run screaming into the caves.


Haldir gets bloodied up and lays dying.
Haldir: Aragorn! My mirror, my make-up...
(dies)
Aragorn takes out a bright red lipstick and paints clown lips on Haldir.


Aragorn marches up and down the wall at Helms Deep behind the elves yelling orders.
Aragorn: ready... aim....
The elves all turn around and shoot him. Aragorn falls down dead. Haldir steps up and kicks him.
Haldir: I'm in charge here...


Legolas and Gimli are behind the wall at Helms Deep waiting for the Uruk-Hai.
Legolas: taunt... shorty... taunt, taunt...
Gimli suddenly shoots up 17ft and steps on Legolas and squishes him.
Gimli: that'll teach you!


Haldir gets speared. Aragorn rushes over.
Aragorn: Haldir...
Haldir gets up.
Haldir: I'm okay... (kills some Uruk-Hai)
Haldir gets stabbed in the back.
Aragorn: Haldir...
Haldir gets back up again.
Haldir: I'm okay...
Aragorn: ....
Haldir: I saw the Fellowship of the Ring yesterday. If Boromir won't die, why should I?
Aragorn rolls his eyes and stabs Haldir. Haldir dies.
Boromir walks up and kicks his body.
Boromir: copy-cat...


Frodo plays around with the One Ring. The Eye of Sauron appears in front of him. Frodo grabs an onion and holds it up. The Eye begins to cry.
Flood warnings for the next fortnight are issued throughout Middle-Earth.


Isildur cuts off Saurons fingers. 20 new fingers appear on his hand, half of them with rings on. Sauron looks at Isildur.
Sauron: hey, I didn't know it would happen either, man...

[LePetitChoux]

Funny! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lindril Arvilya]

*Aragorn floats down the river unconscious, lands*
*Spirit of Arwen murmurs something in Elven and kisses him*
*Aragorn and Spirit of Arwen start making out*
PJ: Cuuuuuuuuut!!!!
--------------------------------
Legolas actually gets Gimli the box...
--------------------------------
*Aragorn tosses Gimli onto the bridge*
Gimli: Cannonball!!!!
*Aragorn jumps over*
Aragorn: Ieieieieieie!!!!!!!!!!!
Orcs: Xena?

[Nari]

*Gorgeous milky-white horse runs across the field, mane waving beautifully in the wind.*

Gandalf: He is called Shadowfax.

Aragorn: One of the fastest horses, and most beautiful. If only I could-

Gandalf: Yeah, yeah, hurry up and get on. It's beef stroganoff night at the center!

[Lindril Arvilya]

*Saruman staggers out on his balcony, pulling on his clothes*
Ents: Good morning!
*Wormtongue staggers out pulling on his clothes*
Saruman: What a morning after....

[Gamja]

LOL!!!! You guys are awesome at this!

[Gamja]

Gimli at Helm's Deep: Toss me.
*Aragorn looks strangely at him*
Aragorn: Alright.
*Gimli goes a little too far and lands among the Orcs attackig the wall*
Aragorn:Oops. I shall redeem myself with this!
*Aragorn lands too short and breaks his forhead on the ramp*
Aragorn: (dazed) my bad.

Lame but, I was never good at this anyway. smilies/frown.gif smilies/frown.gif smilies/frown.gif

[Balin999]

Legolas: He is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell

Shadowfax approaches, but when he has arrived, the company sees that he is so small that he doesn't even reach Gandalf's ankles.
Gandalf: Common, this ridiculous!
P.J: Cut! Ok, Ian, we'll get you a bigger one.

[Nimrothiel]

ROFL! Oh man, this one is really stupid, but here goes...

(Frodo gets picked up by the Watcher in the Water)

Frodo: Aaaaahhh!!! Help, Aagorn!!!

Watcher: Oh boy, a little hobbit of my very own. I will call him George, and I will hug him and squeeze him and pet him and...

PJ: CUUUUUUUTTTTT!!!!!!!!

[ElentariGreenleaf]

That one was horrible smilies/wink.gif

[Lindril Arvilya]

Sorry bout that, Elentari. I'll try to redeem myself better than Aragorn did a few posts up.

Gimli: Toss me! It's a long way across, I canna make the jump so you'll have to toss me.
Aragorn: Alright...
Gimli: Don't tell any Elf.
Aragorn: Never.
*later on in the barracks*
Aragorn: *whispers* Psst.... Legolas... come here, you'll never guess what Gimli.....

[Skippy the Nazgul]

Eowyn: And where is she? The one who gave you that jewel?
Aragorn: Oh, this old thing. I picked it up from one of my many lady admirers. You wouldn't imagine how many woman throw their numbers at me.
Eowyn: What do you do with them all.
Aragorn: Index them.
*Aragorn pulls out a three volume address book*

At the battle of Helm's Deep:
Legolas rapid fires arrows in every direction, while humming the tune "thee little indians." In him mind he's singing: One little, Two little, Three little orcs dead. Four little, Five little, Six little orcs dead. . .
In the distance Gimli is yelling out numbers.

Faramir leads Frodo to a cliff over looking the forbidden pool. He raises his hand to give the order to fire on Gollum.
Faramir: Shall I shoot?
Frodo: WAIT
*Faramir drops his arm and the men fire*
PJ: CUUUUUUUT!!!
Faramir: I couldn't resist, Wood looked so adorible and since you made me a jerk anyway I figured you wouldn't mind.
*Andy Serkis screams in pain from below the cliff*
Serkis: Mean men hurts us, PJ trixx us!!! Screw the Preciousssss, we quits. You'll hearssss from both our lawyersss.

[Nari]

Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf and Strider riding on their horses. Music cue...


Legolas: HANGIN' OUT!

Strider: DOWN THE STREET!

Gimli: SAME OL' THING...

PJ: Cut!

[Jenna]

LOL- i am falling off my seat with laughter! Heres one that supposedly realy happened-
* orcs begin to charge at the battle of helms deep- lead orc trips-his knee spikes stick in the ground- pahtetic un-orc like voice comes out of armor*
Orc-HelP! Im stuck!
Crew-improvise! Play dead!
Pj- CUT!!!!!

[Jenna]

lol, these are so funny

[Lindril Arvilya]

Orc-HelP! Im stuck!
Crew-improvise! Play dead!
Yeah, I heard about that one somewhere...

*at the Battle for Helm's Deep*
*Orc with sparking torch runs toward the wall*
Aragorn: Take him down, Legolas!
Legolas: Do I have to? It's so pretty!
Aragorn: Kill him!
Legolas: Alright, already... *mutters* "Do this, Legolas, do that, Legolas, Legolas, kill that orc, Legolas, what do your Elven eyes see...."

[Galenfea of Mirkwood.]

smilies/biggrin.gif Well done, Lindril Arvilya, that was REALLY funny!!!!! (five excamation marks, a sure sighn of insanity)

[Lindril Arvilya]

Legolas is sheildboarding down the steps, shooting orcs and being generally Elvish. You hear the song "Surfin' in the U.S.A" playing faintly in the background.

[Nimrothiel]

OMG, Skippy, that was hillarious!!! "You'll hearssss from both our lawyerssss..." Ahahahahahahaha!!! Whew, I'm okay now. Ah yes, it's time for another one of mine. Not very original, but it just had to be done.

*Helm's Deep, scene with torch-carrying orc*

Any sportscaster: "And look at him go, and look at him go, he...could...go...all...the...

(Orc trips and falls)

Orc: Sh*t!

All: Ooooh!

[ January 13, 2003: Message edited by: Nimrothiel ]

[Gamja]

LOL!!! Good one Nimrothiel! (I hope I didn't spell your name wrong) smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[dragoneyes]

If it was the olympics, I'd say that torch would be the olympic flame, I can just imagine that orc taking a wrong turn into an olympic stadium.

[Everdawn]

Oh my god you guys are hillarious!!!
Ever seen the craft??

Gandalf: I bind you Saruman, I bind you from doing harm to other people and harm against yourself...
Saruman: OH man!

ok well that is a bit lame.. but i thought it was funny...

[Himaran]

*In moria at balin's tomb, Boromir runs forward to look out the door. He is hit by arrow and falls forward. Not seeing it but following script, Aragorn regards him as a dwarf corpse and proceeds to shut door, jamming it with 2 axes. Aragorn backs away.*

Boromir begins Banging on the door. Fellowship backs away on cue. Boromir decides to bust through. He succeeds in a small area of the door. Legolas fires an arrow through the opening. The banging ceases....

[Lindril Arvilya]

Wormtongue is spared by the ever-just hand of Aragorn, and runs through the crowd, pushing them out of his way. They're all only too happy to oblige.
Wormtongue: Stupid wizard, ruining everything! Well... *idea* I'll show him....
*rides away and no one notices*
Gandalf goes to feed Shadowfax and is rather upset to find only a thin straggly black mare....

[Gamja]

That was incredibly funny Himaran!
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL !!!!!!!! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Everdawn]

In Lothlorien when they are meeting Galadriel as she is walking down the stairs, Celeborn sticks his foot out and Galadriel falls down the stairs... If you can imagine it, how funny would it look on the screen!

[Meela]

Legolas surfs down the stairs on a shield at Helm's Deep, firing arrows.

Random orc: he he... you can see up his skirt!

Battle is forgotten as everyone laughs hysterically.

Dead orc at Leg's feet: he he... pink knickers!

More hysterical laughter.



The elves march towards Helm's Deep and up the slope towards the gate.

Lone elf voice: waaaaiiiit! I've got a blimmin' stone in my shoe!

[Lindril Arvilya]

For the Holy Grail fans out there:
The Elves begin their walk away from Rivendell, and you see a shot of the last group of the line, wearing their cloaks and hoods, and carrying small planks.
Elves: ... dona eis requiem... *DONK*

[Lindril Arvilya]

Not exactly a blooper, but it actually happened. Sorry, I'm not sure of the kid's name, or his father's.
Setting: the theatre, watching TTT

Aragorn: What is your name?
Boy: Haleth, son of Hameth, my lord. (Sorry, I'm just guessing.)
Audience member (friend of mine): SON!? Not DAUGHTER?!

[Everdawn]

In TTT when Legolas is doing the shield slide thing..

Legolas sliding when he is cut off by a man who absails down the wall and shoots the orc dead... The battle stops.. Orcs, elves and men look at the stranger.. and then at Legolas... then at the stranger, then at Legolas..

Legolas: Who the hell are you!

Man: I am Bond, James Bond

Legolas: That would be right... just when im about to be the hero, someone gotta take it away from me! Get the hell out of our movie and stay the hell back where you belong!
*cries from the elves..yeah...*
Bond: Oh im terribly sorry old chap, totally my fault..
Legolas pats James bond on the back
Legolas: Its ok man... *turns to the silent battlefield..* OK! LETS DO THAT AGAIN!

The orc gets up and relights the torch and returns to the spot from where he was origionally running..Legolas returns to the top of the Stairs..

hehe.. i thought it was funny...

[Lord Tohlos]

Friend told me this one... Might be pathetic to some of yas, but to me its funny!

Random Rohanirim: (Austrailian accent, as the Elves are aproaching) Hey, Bill! Get a look o' this mate!

Bill (another random guy, also with accent): What?

Other: Elves!

Bill: Your jokin!

Other: No, Im not! Get over here and look mate!

Bill: (walks over) Oh, bloody ell! Its the Brits! I thought it was just us and the Yanks!

[Gamja]

Lol! not bad!

*Wormtounge and Sauruman's scene with the gunpowder in Orthanc*

Saurnuman: Stay back!
*a spark falls off of wormtounge's candle and onto the powder*
Sauruman: *in slow-mo* NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
*Orthanc blows up*
IT's lame, but it was funny when i thought up of it... smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Thulorongil]

Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Nope. I'm not scared of aaaaaanything!!!

---------------
Aragorn: I swore to protect you!
Frodo: Can you protect me from the rabid fangirls?

[Lindril Arvilya]

Night in Lothlorien. Galadriel glides past the Fellowship, moving silently. Frodo is the only one who notices. As she disappears round a corner and Frodo gets up to follow, Celeborn comes racing up to him.

Celeborn: Have you seen Galadriel? She's sleepwalking again, and I don't want anyone to know about it... oh God it's so embarrassing.
Frodo: Why? What's so embarrassing about sleepwalking?
Celeborn: No, it's not that, it's that she doesn't know she's skinnydipping in the Mirror....

[ January 19, 2003: Message edited by: Lindril Arvilya ]

[Gamja]

LOL!!!!!!! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif
the best praise I can give to anyone without overloading my computer. Great job!

[Nevtarmawen Greenleaf]

when gollum-smeagol are talking to each other while frodo and sam are sleeping-
smeagol-masters our friend now.
gollum-but you don't have any fri-(he falls off the tree) im ok!it's all his fault!(points at gollum)
gollum-was not!
smeagol-was too!
gollum-was not!!!
(goes on for hours until sam wakes up)
sam-(sees gollum fighting against himself/smeagol) i knew he was a weirdo, but does frodo listen to me...no, follow the freak he says, he'll take us to mordor he says, stupid frodo....

[Nevtarmawen Greenleaf]

(scene where gollum is beating the fish on the rock and singing)
gollum:the rock and pool,is nice and cool, so nice for feet!i only wish(whacks fish on rock)to catch a fish(whacks fish again)so juicy swe--
(the fish turns around and looks at him sadly)
fish:hey man, fish have feelings too!

[Lindril Arvilya]

Aragorn finally meets back up with Arwen and retells his story of washing ashore and dreaming he was kissing her....
Arwen: You were making out with a HORSE? You mistook me for your HORSE?!? Oh, you are so dumped!
*stalks away*

[Everdawn]

In TTT when the orcs are about to attack Helms Deep.. A mobile phone rings... suddenly all men, elves and orcs get out mobile phones and hold them up to their ears checking if it was their phone..

Several thousand "hello"s are heard around the valley until an orc yells out.."its mine"... all the others politly wait till he is finished the call..
Orc: it was the wife
Everyone..: yep.. sorry mate.. not in trouble i hope..
Then they pick up their weapons and continue fighting.

[Gamja]

LOL! Awesome! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

at Helm's Deep
Aragorn: Okay! Ready...Aim....FIRE!
All the ELves/Men/Orcs: FIRE? Where? THeres a fire? AAH! SOUND THE ALARM! GET SOME WATER! FIRE!FIRE!

im not too well at these things...

[Airehiriel]

Orc running with fire...
scene suddenly goes slow motion
background music - Chariots of Fire.
Need I say more?

[Blue Elf]

Okay, I'll attempt one...

FotR (corny scene w/Gandalf and Saruman)
(they start fighting...the Fellowship rushes in)
Frodo: Wow, Gandalf, I didn't know you could breakdance!!

(scene on top of Saruman's tower with Gandalf and the moth)
Gandalf: (whispers to moth) Ahhh....I knew that moth-ish class in high school would be handy...

TTT

(Haldir dies)
(Aragorn rushes to him)
Aragorn: Haldir!! You shall have not died in vain!!
Haldir: (waking up) Um, actually, I'm not dead yet.
Aragorn: Then you shall have ot been mortally wounded in vain.
Haldir: Actually, I'm getting better. I think I could pull through.
(Aragorn looks exasperated)

(the Battle of Helm's Deep...Legolas does the surfboard thing)
Orcs: EEEEEH!!!! (they all pull off masks revealing.....rabid fangirls!!)
Legolas: NOOO!!!

Okay, those were lame....I'll try to do a better job next time......but the rest of those were really funny!!

[Everdawn]

lol Blue elf.. I love the fangirls one... Can I just say... that would most probably be me...hehe

[Blue Elf]

**Imagines Everdawn wearing an orc mask...yipes!! I don't think I'd wanna see anyone in an orc mask...**

Glad ya liked it smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lindril Arvilya]

Inspired by somebody else's on the first page.

Arwen: Do you remember what I told you?
Aragorn: Nope.

[Blue Elf]

(Aragorn sees Arwen kissing another elf, and rushes to her sorrowfully)

Aragorn: I thought it was true love!! You gave me your immortality for me!!

Glorfindel (who is conviniently near): Aragorn, she does that with every hot guy...gives them some cheap necklace with an evenstar--

Arwen: (let's go of the elf she is kissing) Ooh!! Nice elf...(chases after another elf)


I'm not very nice to Arwen, am I?


(in the corny wizard breakdancing scene with Saruman and Gandalf)
Saruman: (whips out a lightsaber) Ah ha!!
Gandalf: Wrong movie...

Aragorn: Legolas, what's making your quiver so heavy? You ran out of arrows!!
Legolas: My shampoo, my conditioner, my comb...

More later...

[Hirilaelin]

OMG, these are tooooo funny! Alright, I'll attempt some. Got these from fan-fics at the 'Downs.

*scene in rocks by Moria, Legolas is about to jump on the rocks*

P.J.: Orlando, in this scene, you're supposed to jump gracefully from rock to rock.

Orlando: *jumping* Hey look! Hey look Elijah, I'm doin' it!

Elijah: Sweet!

Orlando: *falls* Ouch...

P.J.: CUT!

At the council of Elrond.

Aragorn: Havo dad, Legolas.

Legolas: *in outrage* Have a BATH Legolas?! How dare you!? I bathe every day!

When I read these, I was just about rolling on the floor with laughter. Maybe next time, I'll try to make up some of my own. smilies/biggrin.gif

~Hirilaelin

P.S. Rate me please! smilies/tongue.gif

[Manwe]

Scene: Moria, Gandalf and the Balrog have just finished their fighting. Gandlaf is haning on the edge of the destroyed bridge.

Gandalf: "Fly you fools!" Falls down in the abyss.

Aragorn: "10-4!"

The camera turns around and focus on the fellowship. They all got space-suits. Some kind of space craft has appaerd out of the thin air.

Aragorn: "Merry, Pippin, to battlestations."

Merry and Pippin: "Sir, yes sir!"

They run to a pair of laser-cannons who are placed on the ridge of the abyss and starts fireing laser-beams at the orcs. The beams are about 1 meter long, red and have quite high velocity. The orcs, who by some reason have storm-tropper suits, except the helmets, are fireing back with laser-rifles.

Aragorn: "Frodo, man the bridge"

Frodo: "Roger"

Aragorn: "Boromir, check the fuel-levels"

Boromir: "Allready done"

Aragorn: "Gimli, man the radar"

Gimli: "Aye"

Aragorn: "Legolas do something to your hair so it fits in the helmet"

Legolas: Trying to do some funny-looking Leia-hairdo "I'll try"

Aragorn: "Sam, don't press the red button"

There's a red button on the cave wall labled 'don't press this button' and another sign saying 'we mean it don't, under any circumstances, press this button'.

Gndlaf: From the abyss "When I said 'fly', I didn't mean it that way. Just...run away...get out of here..."

He's ignored by everyone.

Sam: "If I just press it a little..."

Nother sign suddenly appears 'not even a bit'.

Sam: "After all, I'm just a undereducated hobbit, I can't read english" He barely touches the button. Nothing happends.

Sam: "Well that wasn't too..."

Robbotic voice: "Self-destruct sequence initiated. This cave will destruct in T -1 minute"

Everybody: "Ahh, what have you done you fool of a Gamgee?"

Sam runs away.

Aragorn: speaking in a mic "Err...Huston, we have a problem"

Sam: finds an alien egg. "Now that would make one big omelett for sure"

Alien appears behind him and hisses.

Alien: "Hhsssss"

A Predator appears behind the Alien and take it's head clean of with his wristblade. He catches the head before it hit the ground and flies away with his space-ship.

Robotic voice: "T -55 seconds"

Aragorn: "We are good to go"

Robotic voice: "T -40 seconds"

Boromir: Hey whatta...?"

Robotic voice: "It's to make a last-second escape possible"

Everybody jumps into the space-ship

Frodo: "Where's Sam?"

Everybody: "Where's Sam?"

Aragorn: "It looks like I have to make a heroic...eh thing"

Heroic music is playing and Aragorn strikes a heroic pose and the runs of.

Robotic voice: "T -15 seconds"

Aragorn runs of grabbs Sam who is saying: "Everybody hates me...*sob, sob*"

Sam: "AAAA...I got alien-blood one my suite" sounds like Nicolas Cage "It's eating through the ****ing suit"

Aragorn: "No it don't"

Blood stops smelting the suit.

Sam: "Why not?"

Aragorn: "It only reacts when it come in contact with oxygen"

Sam: "Well there's a damn lot oxygen in here, isn't it"

Blood starts smelting again.

Aragorn: "No, we err...we fixed that to get the space-scene more realistic, yes that's it"

The blood jumps away swearing.

Aragorn runs to the pace-ship.

Aragorn: "Start the countdown-sequence"

Boromir: "Tennineeightsevensixfiveforthreetwooneliftofliftof wehavealiftof"

Another Alien appears. Sigourney Weaver appears.

Sigourney Weaver: stressed "You are my lucky star..." Shoots out the Alien with an harpune, gets her feet entangled in the rope and follows the alien out.

Merry: "Phew...I'm glad we lost that one"

Pippin: "Yea...and Sigourney Weaver too"

Merry: "That was what I meant"

They fly away and the starwars intro-music starts playing.

[Anything but Arwen]

lololol! Keep being mean to Legolas! And Arwen! And everyone but Merry and Pip! Cos thats my job. Ok, let me try....

Treebeard: We go to Isengard...
Pippin: Whats Isengard?
Merry:Its where Saruman lives you dolt
Pip:WHos- ohh....Mr Tree, we have a very important...party...to attend...
Merry: Its not going to work Pip..
(To be fair thats someone elses genius....if your on here, um..sorry...)

Heres one of mine:
Gandalf: His name is Shadowfax...he is one of the Mearas, the princes of horses...
(He brings out a tattered hobby horse)
To Rohan!
(Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas all look at each other)

Aragorn: Legolas, Gimli, to war!
(Gimli is sitting with cucumber slices over his eyes and Legolas is wearing a hairnet)
Both: WHaaa? But its our day off!

Nehh....theyre crap....oh well...fneh...

[Hirilaelin]

All right, FINALLY thought up some of my own.

At the council of Elrond.

Boromir: *heatedly* It is a gift! A gift to the foes of Mordor! We should use this ring, and *almost yelling*

Viggo: *rolling eyes* God Sean, get a grip.

P.J.: CUT!

In TTT Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn just found the burned bodies of the orcs, but no Merry or Pippin.

Aragron begins to wail, scream, curse, and beat the ground with hi9s fists. Legolas and Gimli glanced nervously at each other, and Viggo stops.

Viggo: *embarrassed* Heh... Sorry about that... Just trying to get into character, you know.

Orlando and John glance at each other again.

In Mordor, with Sam, Frodo and Gollum.

Gollum: I will swear it on the preciossssssssssssssssssss.....

Frodo: *disgusted* Geez, tone it down a bit, will you, you're spitting on me.

On Weathertop, Aragorn whirls around with the torch, but hits Pippin in the stomach instead.

Billy: *in flames* AGH!!! AGGGHHHH!

Aragron: Sorry, my bad.

P.J.: CUT, PARAMEDICS!!!!

Well these are mine, hope you like them!

~Hirilaelin, dieing with laughter at all these bloopers

[ January 24, 2003: Message edited by: Hirilaelin ]

[Airerûthiel]

Continuing the mobile phone thing (you have to watch Trigger Happy TV to get this one):

As the Rohirrim ride up to Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli:
(Three mobile phones ring - one plays 'Jingle Bells', one 'I Feel Pretty' from West Side Story, and one the theme to the movie. All three companions pull out their giant comedy phones; Gimli's is black with 'Nobody tosses a Dwarf!' on the back, Aragorn's has a photo of Arwen on it, and Legolas' is pink with 'I (little heart icon) my hair straighteners' on the back.)

The next lines are all at the same time. Meanwhile, in the background, the Rohirrim get closer and closer...

Aragorn: Éowyn? How the hell did you get my number?! I haven't even met you yet!! And no, I'm not available for dinner and our movie in four nights' time - I've got a bloody battle to win!! What did you just say?!

Legolas: Yes, I would like to renew my subscription to Elf And Beauty Weekly...no, I want the free blonde hair dye, not the flourescent pink...NO!!

Gimli: (out of breath from running) Daa-aad! You had...to...ring me...now...didn't you? I'm...kinda...busy...what? (Éomer rides up)

Éomer: What business does an Elf, a Man and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!

All three: (at the same time and shouting) I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M ON THE PHONE!!!

~*~*~*~*~

Actually that happened to me the second time I saw TTT - someone's phone played 'Jingle Bells' and then their person went, "HELLO?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M WATCHING LOTR!!!"

[Blue Elf]

**is bent over in laughter**

AHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! Those were soooo funny!!! I loved the cell phone one in particular!! Sooooooo funny!!!

Sorry for being so mean to Legolas, but he is just so perfect to make fun of, don't you think?

Oh, I don't have any ideas for LotR Bloopers today smilies/frown.gif
Maybe I will later though

[Meela]

the elves arrive at Helms Deep. They halt and turn to face theoden

Elf at end: woaaah- (wobbles)

he falls onto the next elf, and the elves are all knocked over like dominoes


Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are hiding in some rocks, when eomer and horsie pals ride by

Aragorn: Riders Of Rohan!

the riders turn around to ride towards them, but skid on the grass, and they all topple over


Aragorn, Leg, and Gimli are hiding in the rocks. Eomer and chums ride by

Aragorn: Riders Of Rohan!

The Riders throw some objects over their shoulders and continue to ride

Legolas and Gimli pick up their objects, which turn out to be little flags saying "Welcome to Rohan", with lollipops attached to the poles

Legolas: ooh, strawberry!


continuation:

Along with Gandalf, Aragorn, Leg, and Gimli ride to Edoras

Hama comes forward

Hama (holding some flags): here, have a-

Aragorn (holds up hands): had 'em already

Gandalf: oh, but i didnt get one! *strops*

Hama gives him a flag

Gandalf (waving it about): yay!

the four head on in to the Hall of Meduseld

Wormtongue walks up, holding out flags

Aragorn: no more!!!! *pushes past him and approaches theoden, who has a flag attached to his crown

Eowyn comes in through a side door, and rushes up, holding out flags

Aragorn: ive had enough! youy guys are on your own! *storms out*

Gandalf looks at Eowyn, who shrugs

Eowyn: the flags are part of Saruman's tourist attraction campaign. plus, we get a lollipop for every flag

[Meela]

Gandalf, Eomer, and the Rohirrim arrive at the top of the hill by Helms Deep

They begin to charge down the hill. Gandalf slips and rolls. The Rohirrim all trip over him and the whole group rolls down the hill and into the Uruk-Hai

Theoden turns round to Aragorn, completely oblivious to the tangle in the corner

Theoden: where were the flags???? i told him they had to wave the flags!!!! we neeeeeed tooooouuuuuuriiiiiiisssssts!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blue Elf]

ahahahahahahahaha

Rohan, the tourist trap

[Blue Elf]

*Battle of Helm's Deep*

Haldir's last words, which no one hears in the movie: Long....live....the King....of...Gondor...

*an orc hears those words*

Orc: ARAGORN!!

Aragorn: *whips out Anduril and gets ready for a fight* What?

ORc: *sheepishly* May I have your autograph?

Aragorn: Why, of course....who shall I address it to?

Theoden: *overhearing all this* He is the attraction we need!! Forget about the flags!!

Eowyn: *chases Aragorn*

[Meela]

lol!

Haldir: long.... live... the-

Orc steps on Hladir's face, drowning out his words

The flags of rohan live on


:P

[Blue Elf]

Ahahahaha

Haldir: long.... live... the-

Orc steps on Hladir's face, drowning out his words

The flags of rohan live on


(with a Bamf!! noise, Blue Elf appears)

Blue Elf: No, never!! I cannot allow it!! I was going to get part of Aragorns salary!! **runs around madly and rips up several flags, until Theoden catches Blue Elf and throws her in the dungeons. Sill Theoden...Blue Elf can teleport!!**

Yes, that was very random smilies/biggrin.gif

[Hirilaelin]

Evevyone is at Helm's Deep.

Aragorn: Hey Gimli, you seen Legolas?
Gimli: Er, no.

Just then, something catches their eye. Legolas is bugee jumping of the tower.

John (Gimli): Orlando, quit! We have a scene to do!

Viggo: *obviously disgusted* Orlando, could you be just a BIT more mature?
Orlando: *flying through the air* Just a sec! *bugee breaks* *falls into an orc*
Orc: Hey, watch it! Oh, Mr. Bloom! Can I have your autograph?
Orlando: Why certainly... *not hurt at all*
John: Stupid elf....

Well, that was kind of stupid, but I tried!

~Hirilaelin

[ January 24, 2003: Message edited by: Hirilaelin ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

Legolas: A red sun rises. Blood has been split this night.
Aragorn: (super sarcastic) Oh, thanks for the psychic input, Legolas. Like, we're on the way to war. Come on. Blood gets spilled every night. Shut up and keep running.
Gimli: Can we stop yet? This is bad for my asthma!

[Lindril Arvilya]

Sam: By all rights we shouldn't be here at all.
Anyone who's read the book: You're telling me.

[Manardariel]

Scene in Rivendell:
Arwen: runs over to Elrond. "You have the gift of fores- dad?? What the hell happend to you?? Dad, HEllo. Are you ok? Dad! Look, it´s alright...my dad is mentally ill....*starts crying*
Camera: turns around to show us elrond in black suit, sunglasses, cut hair and a gun

or:

FotR: Arwen meets Aragorn&hobbits at Trowlshaws(sp?)
Sam: Who is she?
Aragorn:She´s my girlfriend. Don´t ask.
*rollseyes*
Sam: what´s she doing here?
Aragorn:Cheking on me.*rollseyes*
Sam: Oh, then she cares about you
Aragorn: Supposively. *rollseyes*

Gandalf&Elrond talking
Elrond: The race of men is weak.
Gandalf: Oh come on. You only don´t like men because your daughter is dating one
Elrond: SO????????

[Arwen_Evenstar]

Okay, I'm not particularly good at this, so bear with me please:
the battle of helms deep: The elves arrive and as they are waiting with everyone else the uruk-hai show up and each of them holds a small crate. Murmers of curiosity ripple through the ranks. Suddenly all of the uruk-hai similtaniously open their crates. Mice leap out and run towards to ranks. All elves start screaming and looking for chairs to jump on. So much for the extra help!

*reads over the post and shakes head* my god that was sad. well I'll try again:

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: Uhh...i dunno...i meet alot of people in this buissness...

*reads over again* Nope...no better....*sigh*

ps-is my avatar showing to you guys?

[Lindril Arvilya]

PHWOOOOOOOOOOOMMM
Legolas: That is no orc horn!
They run outside, and guess who's riding up the ramp? That's right it's.... BOROMIR!
Boromir: Alright, guys, I'm here, let's get the fight on!
Everybody: *jaws drop open*
Aragorn: Gaw, not again.

[dragoneyes]

*Helms Deep, the orc with the torch is running, about to blow up the wall*
Aragorn: Legolas, get him!
*Legolas shoots at him, misses, shoots again, misses again*
Orc holding torch: You stupid elf! Right here! *points to throat* Not my shoulder, not my helmet, my throat! Come on, try it!
*Legolas shoots the orc in the throat*
Orc: Thankyou! *mumbles* don't get elves like you used to in my day, in my day you couldn't walk five steps without getting killed *goes on to blow up the wall*

[dragoneyes]

Not intentionally, though it could've seeped in, I have watched it many times. It was my 666th post smilies/smile.gif

[luin'loki]

Mines of Moria: Gimli learns Balin is dead
Gimli:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Aragorn:Sheesh! it's just a dwarf!
*Gimli starts bawling like a baby*
Legolas:What a crybaby
Gandalf:I know! I wasn't crying when I was having an old-man fight with Saruman!

I know I can do better

[Meela]

legolas and aragorn run outside to greet the elves
a line of pink bicycles make their way up the ramp, the elves all ringing their bells. Haldir jumps from a pink tamdem and waves a flag

Haldir: Greetings!
Aragorn and legolas shake their heads and walk away

Aragorn: we're done for, man...

[Lindril Arvilya]

*Gollum crawls down the cliff towards the sleeping hobbits*

*The Spiderman theme song plays*

[Himaran]

Another one for "Holy Grail" fans...

Haldir is stabbed, hacked and slashed by orcs. Aragorn chases them off. Then he cradles Haldir's head in his arms.

Aragorn: "The noble elf is dead!"

Haldir: *turns his face to look at aragorn* - "I'm not dead, yet."

Another sarcastic comment from your local dwarven outlet:
Himaran

[Meela]

Aragorn: Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?

Legolas: not a lot, i forgot to put in my contact lenses this morning

[Meela]

Haldir and the elves approach Helms Deep.

Haldir: I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. The old alliances are still dead

The elves leave Helms Deep.

[Goldberry]

Boromir and Aragorn in Lothlorien.

Boromir: "I heard Galadriel's voice in my head,"
*sniffles* She spoke to me of my dead kitten, Fluffy." *sob sob sob*
Aragorn: *teary-eyed* "Well, she spoke to me of my lucky blankie that i forgot in Rivendell,"
*bursts into tears*

go here, some of them are wicked funny: http://home.online.no/~gremmem/engrish_fotr_captions/index.htm

[Meela]

*falls off her chair laughing

[Manardariel]

*falls even more* smilies/biggrin.gif you guys are sooo funny.

Another one:

Eye of Sauron: I spy, with my little Eye... ARWEN IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!

Gollum: My preciousssssssssssssss *opens hands to reveal totally petrified hamster*

[Rochelle]

Here's my stab at humor..

In Moria..

Pippin: *walks to the well but trips and falls into the abyss making banging noises as he goes*
Gandalf: Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us all of your...Billy? *notices the skeleton still remains in place* Oh dear...


At Buckleberry Ferry...
*The four hobbits run to the ferry...Frodo makes his gallant leap and all turn to watch the wraith. His horse skids on the slick dock and rears, sending the ringwraith onto his butt*
Wraith: sh*t...
Merry: It's gonna be a long 20 miles for you! haha!

Aragorn's dream of Arwen...

Aragorn: This is a dream...
*Arwen turns around but has the face of Saruman*
Saruman: Then it is a bad dream!

Chasing the band of orcs...
Legolas: A red sun rises...
*Orcs slay the elf*
Gimli: Blood has been spilt this day.
Aragorn: *cries*

[Eressië Ailin]

FoTR
Mines of Moria
--------------
Gimli: Nobody tosses a Dwarf!
*Gimli jumps, Legolas grabs beard*
Gimli: Not the beard!
Legolas: If you say so!
*Legolas lets go, and Gimli falls into the abyss*
Peter Jackson: Thanks Orli, now where are we going to get another Gimli?!?!?!?!
Gimli: (faintly) You'll hear from my lawyer!!!!!!
smilies/biggrin.gif

[Annunfuiniel]

LOL smilies/biggrin.gif Can it get any better than this thread??

Ou-kay, I'll take a shot...
-----
Gimli in the Battle of HD:

*Gimli slays orcs while singing 'Whistle While You Work'*
-----
Frodo and Galadriel by the Mirror:

*Frodo looks in the Mirror and sees... _CENSORED_...*
*Galadriel casts a look at Frodo and says* "I know what you see for its also in MY mind!"

-----
Will we see this one in RoTK??
Gimli walking the Paths of the Dead:

*faintly* "I see dead people..."
-----

smilies/tongue.gif Well, feel free to judge my sense of humor...

[ February 10, 2003: Message edited by: Annunfuiniel ]

[ElentariGreenleaf]

HAHAHAHA! Great! I love this thread. NOT as good as rip off was ntil it went inactive *cough*gopostonit*cough*
~~~~~
When Gandalf meets with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli in Fangorn for the first time since moria:

Legolas: What is it?
Gimli: I don't know, I'm chopping up this tree....
Aragorn: IT'S SARUMAN! ATTACK!
*they all attack the wizard. They find out they really killed Gandalf*
Legolas: Nice going Aragorn - who's gonna stop Saruman now?
~~~~~~~
In Moria when Frodo has been stabbed:

Gandalf: Go. Swords are of no more use here.
*They all run. Scene where Gandalf falls happens. They get to Lothlorien*
Sam: Aragorn, is Frodo dead?
Aragorn: I'm afraid so Sa-
Frodo: Thatnks for the lift Strider. I'm fine thanks, never better. *walks off as if nothing has happened.*

[Sapphire_Flame]

*falls off chair laughing* smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Okay, Okay...I'll TRY...TRY being the word...*ahem*...

Grima: So fair, so cold...like a morning of pale spring still clinging to winter's chill.

Eowyn: *pauses then suddenly...in a very high pitched singing voice* You're poisen!! You're poisen running through my vains!! *carries on singing and starts break dancing*

Grima: *stares in shock/horror.*


I know that was stupid...hehe...made me laugh when I thought of it...oookay...now I shall torture you further with my strange...STRANGE mind...muahaha.

In Moria at the bridge of Kazad-Dum.

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

Balrog: *Starts crying and runs away'* I'm telling my mummy of you!!! waaaaaah!!!

Okay, my dad thought of the next one. He actually said it when we were watching the two towers...it's at that bit near the end, I think its after Sam has said his whole speech and he says something along the lines of...

Sam: Folk in them stories had lots of chances to turn back only they didn't because they were holding on to something!

Frodo: What are we holding on to Sam...?

Sam: This wall.

Hope you liked them at least a LITTLE bit.

Yours hopefully

~Naurwen

[Hirilaelin]

I liked them a LOT! I love your sig. by the way! "Add meaningful statement here." lol!

Hirilaelin, Dragon Sorceress of Doom

[Sapphire_Flame]

Frodo: What are we holding on to Sam...?

Sam: This wall.


Heehee!! That was good!

Here's one...

*The orc army is approaching Helm's Deep. Everyone is waiting tensely as the army gets closer and closer....Suddenly, my friend Carly vaults the wall of the Deep and runs shrieking at the orcs, waving a sword and carrying on in an extremely unnerving manner...

The orcs all do a Lara Croft tuck-and-roll turn and book it in the opposite direction.*

Okay, it's a bit odd, my friend thought of it when we saw TTT for the fourth time.

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Why, thankyou very, very much. smilies/biggrin.gif

All the others are brilliant by the way!!

Haldir: i bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. the old alliances are still dead

That just had me in peices!! Thanks for that Meela!

[Meela]

whoo! *dances* u liked my blooper? ty!

[Hirilaelin]

Me three! I almost had a heart attack! Too funny!

I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. the old alliances are still dead.

lol!!!!!! But, wasn't Haldir from Lothlorien? I was pretty sure he was. But still really funny.

~Hirilaelin, Dragon Sorceress of Doom

[Meela]

*hugs everyone and dances some more*

he said in the movie that they brought word from him. i spose galadriel just provided the elves. anyway, elrond is the only one left in rivendell as far as the movie is concerned. maybe hes galadriels secretary, and he has to do the messages

[Goldberry]

me four!!! that one was really good smilies/biggrin.gif

i can't think of any . . . . . hmmm . . . . . thinking.

[Lindril Arvilya]

Heh... this didn't happen in the movie, but when I saw it with my school (on our last day of school before Christmas break we go to the movie theatre).

Gollum: ... maybe She could help us... yessss....
Audience member (rather loudly): Who's She?

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Yeah Meela, it must have been good, because we all loved it!! I also loved your Rohan/tourist thing with the flags...hehehe.

Okay I just thought of this:

Eomer: I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher off the ground.

Legolas: You would die before your.. *accidently releases arrow* oops.....

Yours..um...blooperly?

~Naurwen

[ February 13, 2003: Message edited by: Naurwen_of_Lothlorien ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

Naurwen- I liked it, but poor Eomer! Sudden and accidental death....

Gandalf: (looking grim) I come back to you now at the turn of the tide...
*A huge tidal wave sweeps him away*

[Meela]

Fangorn Forest:

Aragorn, Leg, and Gimli are confronting the White Wizard/Gandalf

Aragorn: show yourself!

White Wizard/Gandalf: nooooooooooooo! *runs away*

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Hey Elentari!! I thought it was hilarious, Meela!! KEEP IT UP!

[ February 14, 2003: Message edited by: Naurwen_of_Lothlorien ]

[Hirilaelin]

Right, this is mine.

Helm's Deep:

Legolas is shooting orcs, and suddenly he bursts into song.

Legolas: One little, two little, three little orcs dead, four little, five little, six little orcs dead, seven little eight little, nine little orcs dead, ten little orcs in a row! *Haldir and Co. join in, louder* Eleven little, twelve little...

I thought this was funny at the time.

Hiri smilies/smile.gif

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

When A,G, and L have met Gandalf in Fangorn.
Aragorn: It cannot be!
Gandalf: It isn't!! *pulls off mask to be revealed as...
Aragorn: (bewildered) ARWEN?!?
Arwen: Surprise, honey!

[Everdawn]

Helms Deep...

The orc line advances... up drives a car with several ganstas with machine guns led by ali G.. shoots a lot and yells out the window

"eastside" before driving off again..

or..

Waiting at Edoras.. Humvees and a few Black Hawks turn up bearing the US. logos..

Aragorn: What is this?
General: We hear Sauraman is manufacturing weapons of mass destruction... we have been sent to dissarm him.
Aragorn: Do you have UN approval?
General: um... well.. almost...
Aragorn: Sorry, youll have to come back later then..
General: Whatever you say Elesser... *Turns to convoy* pack it up boys.. were moving out!"

[Meela]

Eomer whistles

Eomer: Hasufel, Arod!

*silence*

Eomer whistles some more

Eomer: uh... *whistle*


Gandalf: You shall not pass! *hits the ground with his staff*

The ground cracks, and falls away underneath Gandalf. Gandalf falls, a v. surprised balrog watching him


Gollum: Come, hobbits! We will take you on a safe path through the marshes-
*falls in the swamp*


Faramir shoots an evil dude on the oliphaunt.
The oliphaunt charges towards Faramir and tramples him


Arwen is leaving Rivendell, Elrond watching.
Arwen turns to him, goes cross-eyed, then winks at him and skips off.

(dont ask about that one... it just popped into my head whilst watching the scene...)


At Edoras, Eowyn runs out onto the platform, trips, and falls off the edge


Arwen: it was a gift. keep it.
Aragorn: no!! you didnt even wrap it!

[periachel]

here's my lame attempt...

*leg's sheildboard*

leg: (sings) i am a skater boy, i said see you later boy...
(everyone starts applausing)
leg: you're never good enough for me...
(orli, not knowing the sheild was made of PLASTIC,he does an ollie, crashes on the floor, sheild cracks, and he does an Olympic split... [w/ matching rip of elven fabric] then, more applause...)

this is so LAAAAAAAAME... smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Meela]

its not lame smilies/biggrin.gif any blooper is good! we get to laugh at the characters!

heres another one that occured to me in the cinema: (apologies in advance for lameness smilies/wink.gif)

sam climbs onto the slab of rock on the slope outside the gates of Mordor.
Frodo jumps onto the other end, flipping the slab up and catapulting Sam into Mordor.

Sam: wheeeeeeee.......

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Great, you guys!! Here's one I just thought up in Industrial Arts:

After Frodo has revealed that he is wearing Mithril.
Gimli: You are full of surprises, Master Baggins!
Legolas:*mumbling* He's definitely full of something.

There was another good one I thought up, but its slipped my mind. Ah well I'll remember it later.

[Annunfuiniel]

Here's one I've ment to post for a while but never got the time. This was inspired by those pink bicycles of the elves in some earlier post (sorry, don't remember the master behind that idea).

Picture an empty battle field...
*some noise starts to get louder and louder then suddenly a clear war cry rises and - elves on pink bicycles whip across the scene from right to left*
*voice faints away but soon starts to get louder again*
*elves rush back left to right*
Haldir: Ride hard and don't look back!!!
*as soon as they disappear from the scene loads of orcs arrive chasing them on Harley-Davidsons*
*silence - some waiting*
*the sound of those motors humming gets closer again and orcs ride back where they came from in great disorder*
Aragorn: Elendiiiiiiiiiiilll!!! *rides behind the orcs on tandem with Legolas - Gimli somehow manages to hang along*

Oh no, it sounds really stupid now. smilies/frown.gif You should try to imagine me telling it to my sister in a very lively manner. She really liked it then and that's a lot knowing my sister. smilies/wink.gif

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Hello, it's me again. *hears the crys of "oh no!!".

In Edoras, Gandalf walks towards Theodin with his staff.

Gandalf: I will draw you Saruman! *He then gets out a pad of paper and some pencils and draws a nice picture of a smiley Saruman.*

Theodin/Saruman: Oh its very good!

_____________________________________________

Grima: (I can't remember the line exactly.)
It would take an army of thousands to bring down the wall!!

Saruman: Tens of thousands!!

They walk out and the Uruk Hai suddenly burst into song and sing this (http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/fool.htm) at the the top of their voices.

_____________________________________________

Smeagol: We told him to go away!! And away he goes, precious!!

Gollum: Actually, I just went to get a cup of coffee, I thought we would be here for a while arguing like this.

[Mithril]

Okay, this is for those of you who have seen Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill routine, I hope someone here has, though at this part of the routine he was actually talking about Star Wars, but anyways, here goes, hope you like it.
Mordor is full of guys opening doors.
Nazgul: Well, Sebastian, what is it?
Orc: It's the rebels sir, they're here.
Nazgul: Well, do they want tea?
Orc: I think they're after something a little more than that, and they've brought a flag.
Nazgul: D***, how dash cunning of them.

Sorry for those of you who don't get it. In his routine Eddie Izzard is talking about how the British play the bad guys in Hollywood movies cause of the Revolutionary War and he said in Star Wars, the Death Star is full of British actors opening doors, and having the preceding conversation and earlier in the routine he was saying that countries, inclucing Great Britain, had built empires "with the cunning use of flags". I hope that helps to make it at least a little funnier.

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Mithril, that was great!! I'm a huge Eddie Izzard fan smilies/biggrin.gif

[Mithril]

Yay! Someone liked my post, that was my first attempt at something funny. I love Eddie Izzard and I watched his Dress to Kill routine the other night and then I came on here and that just popped into my head. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Meela]

This is my "Osgiliath Trio":

At Osgiliath:

Frodo walks towards the wraith in a daze, holding out the ring.

*smack*

Frodo walks into the wall.


At Osgiliath:

After Sam gives his speech about good an' all, Faramir walks over looking tearful.

*smack*

Faramir trips on a piece of rubble and falls flat on his face.


At Osgiliath:

Faramir kneels down in front of Frodo.

Faramir: i think at last we understand one anoth- oof!

Faramir loses his balance and keels over sideways.

[Meela]

Annunfuiniel, I didn't notice earlier that you said you got the blooper from an earlier post: that happens to be my post. Great blooper!

[Annunfuiniel]

Oh, thank thee, Meela! Glad you liked it, your original bike scene was so hilarious I had to keep them riding! smilies/biggrin.gif

But now my head is totally empty... need..to..get..more..SLEEP..(but this site is so

smilies/cool.gif you have hang 'round here day AND night) smilies/wink.gif

[Meela]

After surfing down the stairs on the shield, Legolas comes to more stairs, but minus a shield.

Legolas spots dead Haldir in the corner.

Legolas: wheeeeee..... *surfs down the stairs on Haldir

Haldir: *bump* *bump* *bump*

[Meela]

On Caradhras:

Snow falls down on top of Fellowship, who are all holding onto each others' sleeves.
Legolas runs forward to pull Gandalf back.
Gandalf slips, pulling Legolas over the edge of the mountain. One by one the rest of the fellowship fall over the edge.

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

My heavens! I thought I was the only one who made up bloopers for movies! smilies/biggrin.gif

Just because there aren't enough Boromir Bloopers:

Boromir's Death Sneeze

Boromir: "I would have followed you anywhere, my brother... my captain... my king." (he stops breathing)

Aragorn: (teary eyed) "Sleep well, Son of Gondor."

(Suddenly, Boromir lets out a gigantic sneeze, bashing his forehead into Aragorn's nose.)

Boromir: "Oh, Valar, I'm sorry! It's that hay fever."


One Less Stalker?

Boromir: "I would have followed you anywhere, my brother... my captain... my king." (he dies)

Aragorn: (closing Boromir's eyes) "Well, that's one less stalker to worry about...."

"Bullet-proof vest! Brilliant!"

(Boromir hacks Uruk-Hai as they advance on the Hobbits. Lurtz draws forth his bow, nocks an arrow, aims and fires. The arrow flies straight and true, only to bounce off Boromir's chest. Lurtz looks confused until Boromir pulls out a metal plate from under his tunic.)

(Yes, this is a Clint Eastwood and/or Back to the Future reference...)

The World of Men Will Fall!

Boromir: (on the verge of death) "The world of men will fall and my city will come to ruin!"

Aragorn: "I do not know what strength is left in me, but I swear to you, I will not let the White City fa--OOF!" (He falls over backwards)

Boromir: (sarcastically) "Oh, that's real reassuring, Aragorn. Thank you so much. I can die now with a clear mind."

And to get my mind off the Boromir theme:

Curlomer?

(Éomer and Company go riding by singing "Oh! What a Beautiful Mornin'!" at the top of their lungs, leaving a confused Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli behind to wonder what insanity they've wandered into).

Simple Things

(Battle of Helm's Deep just as the Uruk-Hai are beginning to pound their spears on the ground and bellow. Old man releases arrow prematurely and kills one of them. The Uruk-Hai look down at their dead companion, grow deathly silent, then whirl around and run screaming in the opposite direction. The old man is praised and lives as a hero the rest of his days.)

[DarkRose]

This is one of the funniest threads I've ever read. Thanks for the laughs, everyone! smilies/biggrin.gif

Here's my feeble attempts:

FOTR, at the Council of Elrond:

Legolas: This is no mere ranger! He's a stinky ranger! You gotta give him props for that.

Aragorn: *rolls eyes* Thanks a lot, Legolas.

________________________________

FOTR, when Gandalf and Saruman are fighting:

Saruman: Prepare to meet your maker, Yoda! I mean..er..um..

Gandalf: *arches eyebrows*

_________________________________

TTT, when Gandalf and co. are admiring Shadowfax:

Shadowfax: *gallops majestically in field, ivory mane billowing beautifully as he runs*

Gandalf: He is a prince of horses, one of the fastest and finest..

Aragorn: He's marvelous, absolutely splendid!

Bill the pony: *stalks angrily up, scowling at Gandalf, Aragorn, and Legolas*

Bill the pony: So this is the thanks I get for carrying all of your accursed pots and pans? You never called ME a prince of ponies!

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Battle of Helms Deep, the old man fires the arrow (Sorry for stealing your idea, Rynoah, I beg you forgive me.) The arrow hits the Uruk Hai and he falls to the floor, dead.

Another Uruk Hai: Oh no!! Bert, please don't be dead...PLEASE...oh no..."

He kneels down beside 'Bert' and crys into his hands. The other Uruk Hai Lower their heads and sob loudly.

A Random Uruk Hai: I can't fight now...not with Bert dead.

Another Random Uruk Hai: Me neither...let's go..

They all leave, crying their hearts out.

Old Man: Wow...now I feel guilty smilies/frown.gif

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

(Sorry for stealing your idea, Rynoah, I beg you forgive me.)

You are forgiven. smilies/smile.gif

Darkrose: That stinky ranger stint had me laughing until I hurt! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Thank you very much smilies/biggrin.gif

[Himaran]

This is one I came up with, but then I saw that it was in someones signiture, so don't get mad at me: smilies/wink.gif

In Lothlorien:

Frodo gets up in the middle of the night and walks down to Galadriels mirror. He falls asleep there.

He wakes up to the sound of wispering chatter. The three other hobbits are crowded around the mirror.

Frodo: "What are you doing?!"

Merry: "Ah yes, nice, warm 3 cheese macaroni."

Pippin: "This mirror is great for cooking in."

Sam: "We saved some for you mr. Frodo!"

Frodo: "Take them out you fools, take them out!"

I know, I know, Meela had that copyrighted, but I couldn't help myself... smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif
smilies/eek.gif

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Aragorn: "Come. Let us go hunt some orc."

(He whirls around to run... and promptly falls on his face.)

Gimli: "I think we'd better wait until that ale wears off, Aragorn."


As some of you may know, special effects are usually represented by something (a ball or stick or something) for the actors to refer to and then the graphics are added later. I heard that the balrog was represented by a tennis ball on a stick. Here goes:

Gandalf: "YOU CANNOT PASS!" *taps the tennis ball with his staff*

Or

Gandalf: "Love. Fifteen serving two...." *dowk*

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Lol! Oh, well, here comes my lame atempt at humor...
Aragorn suddenly realizes, as he is standing on the wall waiting for the orcs to come, that he was floating in the river in his armor. He is rather surprised, and reaches into his armor, pulling out a tag. Reads: 'Middle Earth armor- It floats!' Then, in much smaller letters- 'not for battling purposes.' *First orc shoots arrow.* Aragorn: Oh, sh*t... smilies/rolleyes.gif

I din't make this one up...it was a caption on www.ninecompanions.net (http://www.ninecompanions.net) I think. Or maybe somewhere else. Anyway.....
Aragorn: You have my sword...don't you?
Elrond: And your sheath, and your bow, and your wallet. You must be more careful with your things!

Gimli: If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf! We could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome...
Gandalf: Shut up Dwarf. Your cousin is long dead, I attended his funeral. It was so sad...
PJ: CUT!

Boromir: It's moving fast. Against the wind.
*The wind picks him up, blows him away in same direction as the "cloud". Boromir *faintly*: Then again, I never was good at things like that...

Theodred: *wakes up, realizes he is 6 feet under* Crud! PJ, get me out of here! This wasn't in my contract!

Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark. As a matter of fact- *looks over at Gimli writhing on the ground*- we did.

It's lame, I know. Understatement. smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/cool.gif

[ March 07, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[Shy Hobbit]

The Fellowship on Cahadhras:

*snow falls down, burying everyone, camera pans out away from scene*...

THE END

That might be weird but whenever I see that part, I can't help but think it looks like the shot you would use to end a film. That would be tragic wouldn't it?

[Meela]

lol! these are brilliant!

"can galadriel cok noodles in her mirror on a warm day?"

that one, himaran?

yep, its mine, and its copyrighted... but i'll let you off this time smilies/biggrin.gif

[ElentariGreenleaf]

*IN Mount Doom*
Frodo: I think I'll just keep the ring. *cough* I SAID, I THINK.... I'LL JUST KEEP THE RING..... Where's gollum?
Sam: Um, I think he fell in already. Sorry, but he was calling me fat!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*When Aragorn falls off the cliff*
*Scene where Arwen "magically" appears to save him*
Arwen: Ew! I'm not kissing that, it's dead!
PJ: Dead? OH F###! Not again. Looks like we're gonna have to do the whooooole film again.
Gollum: Why not just make him a CGI character like me?
PJ: Good Gollum. You can have a Gollum snack for that!
Gollum: YAY!

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark. As a matter of fact- *looks over at Gimli writhing on the ground*- we did.


*cackles*

Elrond: "It cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Glóin, by any weapon we here possess."

*Some random crew member strides up to the ring, whips out a hammer and smashes it flat*

Jackson: "Okay, cut! Dang it, Jeff, will you knock that off?!"

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Yes, when watching that scene, I always get a mental image of something like that happening. Ooh, somebody thought mine was funny! *does a little victory dance* Yay! I thought it was lame actually, but my opinion doesn't count... smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/wink.gif

[ March 09, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

All from FotR (my brother's watching it right now)
--------------------------------
The Nazgul in the woods has come by, and Frodo is cowering under the tree, while Sam, Pip, and Merry fight over their mushrooms (silently, but they're still fighting). The Nazgul starts to sniff and the hobbits stop. The Black Rider sniffs furiously, reaches down slowly and menacingly, grabs the mushrooms and runs.
--------------------------------
Scene in the Prancing Pony, where the hobbits are in Aragorn's room, and the Nazgul are filing into the hobbits' room. Suspenseful music, they raise their swords, plunge them in, we figure out the hobbits aren't there, the Ringwraiths figure out the hobbits aren't there, and start to walk out, except one over in the corner, still hacking and slashing away at the pillows.
They all turn around and drag him out, he's wailing "No! Must kill hobbits! Must kill! Kill kill kill!!!!!" The other eight all look embarrassed under their hoods and drag him out of the inn as quickly as possible.

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

(The Fellowship pulls up on the western shore and everyone gets out, except Boromir who can't seem to get himself out of the boat.)

Boromir: "Damned Elvish boats! Someone give me a hand!"

[TheBladeThatWasBroken]

-Directionally Challenged?!

TTT, Helm's Deep...

Gandalf's voice: "Look to the east at the dawn of the fifth day."
Theoden: "Yes, I will ride out with you."
*Theoden charges out the door alone...*
Theoden: "Aragorn?"
*Theoden turns around and sees Aragorn at the westdoor, looking.*
Aragorn: "***?! He said to look to the east, but I see nothing!!"

-I'm Not the One Hungry!!
Pippin: "...dinner, supper, he knows about those, don't he?"
Merry: "I wouldn't count on it."
*Apple flies out of the bush in front of them, finally hitting Merry on the head.*
PJ: "Cut! Let's try that again!"

Fifth time...
Merry: If we switch positions, maybe he'll get it right.
*switches*
*Apple still hits Merry*

[Shy Hobbit]

*at the gates of Moria, Frodo has just been rescued from the Watcher*

"Into the mines!"

*Legolas fires arrows at the creature*

Boromir: LEGOLAS!

*Legolas continues shooting*

Boromir: Legolas we've got Frodo, you can stop now! Ughh fine stay out here if you want! *runs into the mines*

*Boromir comes back out of the mines a few hours later*

"Ok, we found the path, now come on!"

*Legolas seems unaware of Boromir*

*Boromir glances at the Watcher, now dead on the shore decorated with hundreds of arrows*

"Legolas I think it's dead. Legolas?"

Legolas: "One more!" *fires one last arrow into the creature* "There! HA! Mess with an elf, will you?"

Somehow that didn't look quite like I had imagined in my mind, oh well smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Sorry if this has already been done, but I myself always think this at this part!
Thank you for letting me take your oldman arrow idea.

*Old man fires the arrow, it hits the Uruk and kills it*
From somewhere on the Men's side: Jolly good shot, old chap!

[Lindril Arvilya]

In the mines of Moria, as Gandalf stands reading the Book of Mazarbul, he hands his hat and staff to Pippin, who remains stationary. He's done this scene too many times and knows what could happen if he moves.
Frodo slowly walks over to the well, looks at the skeleton, and gingerly touches it. It falls, of course, making a huge racket.
Gandalf: Fool of a Took!
Pippin: It wasn't me! I was holding your stuff!
Gandalf: I know, Pippin, but "Fool of a Baggins" just doesn't have the same ring.

[Quirkette]

Aragorn attempts to block Eowyn's blade with his; however, he miscalculates. Receives ugly gash in arm, bleeds profusely.

"Juicy SWEET!" Gollum sings. Fish slips from his hand and smacks him between the eyes.


(Er....sorry. smilies/frown.gif )

[Ringethiriel]

those ones are so funny! here are my very bad attempts.
-galadriel looks into her mirror, all of a sudden there is a flash of lightening, which causes a powercut, and her mirror goes suddenly black.
-on weathertop, aragorn throws the burning branch at the ringwraith, but it doesn't catch on fire because it's cloak is fire proof. smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Quirkette]

"I willl take the ring, though I think you all are gay."

"Now there's a can opener and no mistake."

"Besides, you need someone with intelligence for this kind of doohickey whatchamacallit thingy dealybopper."

"Let's go hunt some pork." null

[cookie_crazy]

OK, this is totally lame but, here goes...

*Aragorn is really nervous about approaching Arwen with his words of love that he gets Legolas to prompt him*

Aragorn: Erm, Arwen...
Arwen: Yes?
Aragorn: Good evening.
Legolas: *loud whisper from the bushes* Charm her!
Aragorn: Good evening?
Legolas: *whaps his head* Whisper something warm and mushy in her ear!
Aragorn: All right then, warm and mushy, warm and mushy...DOG FOOD!
*Arwen laughs her head off and the pair never get married due to Aragorn's stupidity, Legolas gets murdered by Aragorn*

THE END! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Vuelve]

here goes another one of those terrible lame attempts.......

fotr-buckleberry ferry-

hobbits are all yelling jump frodo jump.
frodo jumps with all of his might and lands in the water and drowns.
sam starts crying.
merry looks at pip and says "i guess what they say is true, white hobbits cant jump." then out of no where gollum bails into the water " my preciousssssss!!!!!"
pj " i quit. george its all yours."
george lucas " mwahahahahahaha " smilies/evil.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

Okay, I'm new at this, but I've got a cartload of them.

council of elrond
elrond: You shall be the Fellowship of the Bracelet!
Pippin: Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: That doesn't sound right...
-----------------
Wraith is sniffing for Frodo. All of a sudden, it jerks back, puts its finger to 1 nostril & blows. A pillbug shoots out.
-------------
Elrond's council
aragorn: you have my sword.
lego: & you have my bow.
gimli: & my axe! *he walks past & whacks elrond under the chin w/ axe*
elrond: @*%$!
gimli:sorry my lord!
PJ: cut! you're uttering some verrry elvish wors there hugo!
----------------
At HD when haldir dies
aragorn is bent over him touching his face.
ara:haldir! come back!
*haldir opens his eyes*
haldir:GOOD GOSH! your hands smell! where've they been?
ara:do ya REALLY wanna know?
------------------
Frodo looks in galadriel's mirror. dr evil appears.
d.e:talk to the hand cuz the face don't wanna hear it anymore!
frodo:what?
d.e:you ain't all that & a bag of potato chips
frodo:sorry?
d.e:don't go there girlfriend *snap x2* mm-hm!
frodo looks at galadriel
galad:i know what it is you saw. for it is also in my mind.although he usually asks for 1 million dollars.
----------------------

hope you like! if u do, say so!
Lily Bombadil

[legolas luver*1]

I'v seen some killer bloopers. You might consider this lame but here it goes.
--------------
when gandalf visits bag end.fotr
gand:bilbo baggins.
bilbo:gandalf!
As bilbo runs to hug gandalf,he moves and sends bilbo crashing down the steps and through the gate.
---------------
feel free to judge!

[Lily Bombadil]

FOTR Right before Bilbo's party
bibo smilies/redface.gifld toby. finest weed in the southfarthing.
*he blows out some smoke it forms the words 'peter jackson is a craphead'*
*gandalf blows some smoke which forms the words '& his mom too'*
PJ:CUT!!! *laughs* well, screw you Ian.
bilbo:which one?
PJ:it doesn't matter, because YOU'RE BOTH FIRED!!!
-------------------
thank you & goodnight. now i shall go for some ale & perhaps mushrooms as well.

[Lily Bombadil]

OKAY, I've got one more.(FOTR)
FRODO WAKES UP IN RIVENDELL
Frodo:Gandalf, where am I? Uuhh... I've never drank that much ale in my life! My head hurts.
Gand:Elrond! Frodo needs some asprin. *Frodo hurls on him* & I need a scented towelette...

(I kinda thought it was funny)

--------------------------------
Hey dol1 merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!

[Quirkette]

Here's a really lame one.

Gandalf repeatedly atempts to blow a smoke ship through Bilbo's smoke ring. However, his lips only produce shapeless blob after shapeless blob.
"I know I can do this! I know I can do this! Half a moment! Blast! My lips are getting numb!"

Er...sorry. smilies/frown.gif

[Everdawn]

The council of Elrond (extended DVD) when Boromir reaches for the ring and the clouds come over and Gandalf starts speaking dark speak... and the clouds keep coming until it starts raining and starts hailing as well..

[Lily Bombadil]

Okay, here are a couple more:
FotR scene where Frodo jumps in Gandalf's wagon.
Frodo: It's wonderful to see you, Gandalf!
*he jumps to low at the wagon & slams face first into the side*
Gand:Frodo?
-----------------------
FotR Buckleberry Ferry
Merry, Sam, Pip:JUMP, FRODO! JUMP!
*Frodo jumps onto the end of the raft & catapults his friends back onto the bank*
Merry:Coooooolll!!!!!
Sam:WEEEEEE!!!!
Pippin:Look, Merry! I'm flying! I'm- *smack! he hits the ground*

HOPE THEY'RE NOT TOO LAME! smilies/eek.gif (rate me!)
-----------------------
Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!

[elven maiden Earwen]

lol these are sooooo funny

[Lindril Arvilya]

*Frodo jumps onto the end of the raft & catapults his friends back onto the bank*


Or right into the waiting Nazgul. That might be good. He's just standing around, looking in the water, cursing his horse, having given up on getting the hobbits (at least, on this side of the shore), when WHAM! BAM! SAM! Three hobbits in the gut. That'd probably knock the breath out of you. Well... fine, so a Nazgul probably doesn't breathe. They'd probably knock him off his horse, anyhow.

[tifo_gcs]

Movie Scene: reunion of the hobbits at Rivendell.

All four hobbits run otwards each other, jump up as if to huddle in celebration like in a sports game. WHAM!!! all four butt heads.

Next camera view: taken from above like an out-of-body experience, shows all four hobbits lying splayed out on the ground, knocked out cold. Slowly, they rise and grab their heads with obviuos displays of intense pain. Scene fades....

Deep speaker voice.. Headache?!? Bayer's new patented formula now gives you double the relief in only half the time, buy now for our special value family pack at only... yadiyadiyada....

Hope you like it, I've been laughing so much I've been annoying my co-workers, so I had to try one for myself smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

Those are super-funny! I'm all laughy taffy!

Tifo...
That was funny! Have you read the topic Story Of The Nazgirls? You really should!

-------------------------------
Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/eek.gif

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

(Frodo wanders away from the Fellowship at the western shore of the Anduin. He appears to be alone, until Boromir comes out of nowhere carrying a bundle of wood. He is about to set a stick on top of the pile as he speaks.)

Boromir: "None of us should wander alone. You least of a--" *TOWNK!*

(Boromir has hit himself in the head with the branch and staggers. Frodo bursts into hysterical laughter.)

[ElenCala Isil]

Frodo takes a blow by the Cave troll...
Frodo- Why, you bear a striking resemblance to P.J. you know?
Troll- Did you insult Flipper like this too?!
Frodo-welllll no, flipper was cool
Troll-Is That another Insult?!?!
Frodo-erm.. no?
Troll strikes frodo, frodo screams but shrieks end in laughter
Frodo-MUAHAHA I've got MITHRIL!!!

(ok that was the besti could do smilies/rolleyes.gif )

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

IN BAG END
Gandalf: Get down.
*Frodo stays standing, staring at Gandalf*
Gandalf: FRODO! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR!!.....Frodo?
Frodo: Gandalf you have huge bags under your eyes!
(that was based upon a discussion i had with my friend, in which we were saying how huge Ian and Christopher's bags under their eyes were instead of watching the movie. Yeah, that's just my weird sense of humor.)

IN MORIA
Gandalf: Fly you fools!
*he falls into the chasm*
Frodo: NOOOOOO!!!
~Later~
Sam: Mister Frodo, you have to get over Gandalf's death.
Frodo (sobbing):It's not just that...
Sam: What is it?
Frodo (sobbing): He owed me money...

[ March 18, 2003: Message edited by: Horse-Maiden of the Shire ]

[dragoneyes]

In Bag End:
Gandalf: Get down!
*Frodo shoots off the bottom of the screen, which I find immensly funny on its own, aaanywaaay*
*Gandalf sreeps forward towards the window and pulls out Sam*
Gandalf: It's fine Frodo, it's only Sam...... Yup, it's only Sam, no need to be worried...... Frodo! Get up! There's no need to be down there any more!
*they turn to find out that, in his enthusiasm, Frodo has knocked himself out on the floor*

[Lindril Arvilya]

Well, since EVERYONE is doing it, here's another "Frodo at Bag End" blooper. For you VeggieTales fans.

Gandalf: Get down!
Frodo: I am down!
Gandalf: You are not!
Frodo: Look, this is sitting, and this is standing. I'm sitting!
Gandalf: Okay.

[Gabby Sorno]

From TTT:

*Elven army approaches Helm's Deep... grab each others hands and start skipping, singing theme song to The Smurfs*

((First try...and my first post *sigh*))

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Pretty good for a first post... smilies/redface.gif
Ok, here's a nother:
Gandalf: Fly you fools!
Fellowship: *sudden;y find themsleves floating*
Tolkien: Oops....getting literal....

Sorry, had to type that smilies/frown.gif smilies/wink.gif

[ElenCala Isil]

From T.T.T.:
Gimli-I can't see! I can't see!!!
Legolas-Shall I describe it to you or shall I get you a box?
Gimli-Toss me!
Legolas-WHAT?!
Gimli- I cannot see! Toss me! Don't tell the elf
Legolas-I AM the elf
Gimli-oh crud, I thought you were Aragorn!
Aragorn- hey, his hair is waaaay to clean for me!

[Lily Bombadil]

scene in bree.
*Frodo looks up at the bar where Pippin is sitting*
Pippin: Baggins? Sure! I know a Baggins! He's over there. *points* Frodo Baggins. We were dating for about 6 months, of course THEN I dumped him for Merry- Noooo! Merry's NOT a GIRL!!!

I hope that's not tooo lame! smilies/rolleyes.gif

----------------------------------
I don't know half of you half as well as I
should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Faramir: "A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show his quality."
Frodo: "Yeah, I can see where you'd need to, what with that huge honker of a nose on your face."
Faramir: "..." (He runs Frodo through with his sword)

(I'm just kidding. Gosh! I don't think David Wenham's nose is THAT big. *dodges flying objects*)

[Meela]

*catapults an oliphaunt and squishes Rynoah*

Borrowing Lily Bombadil's idea of smoke formations:

Near Caradhras:

The crebain are flying towards the Fellowship. Suddenly they change formation, forming a giant image of Saruman's head, with "I can see yoooooouuu" underneath.

[Goldberry]

Hope this one hasn't been done before, I didn't read all of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Moria, on the bridge of Khazad-Dum . . .

Gandalf: You Shall not Pass!!!!!!
he slams his staff down . . . right on his foot!

Gandalf: OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! he hops around madly, screaming.

[Firondoiel]

HEHEHEHE!!! Some of these are SOOOO funny!!!! I'm going to have a go at it and hope it's not too bad.

Not My Fault
*Scene at Osgiliath where Frodo walks up to the Nazgul and holds out the Ring*
Nazgul: What do you think you're doing?!
Frodo: Huh?
Nazgul: You're not supposed to give me the Ring.
Frodo: Ummm...don't blame me it's all his fault! (points at Sam) He didn't even try to stop me from walking off!
Nazgul: (To Sam) Why didn't you stop him!? Don't you realize if I got the Ring Sauron would take control of Middle Earth and the movie would be over?!
Sam: It's not my fault! By right we shouldn't even be here. It's all his fault! (points at Faramir)
PJ: CUT!!!! (To Nazgul)Why did you mess up the scene?!
Nazgul: It wasn't my fault it was his! (points at Frodo who points at Sam who points at Faramir.)
PJ: Well Faramir, what do you have to say for yourself?
Faramir: It's not my fault! It's yours for making me such a creep!!!
Sam: He's got a point.
Nazgul: (looks at PJ) Let's get him!
Frodo: CHARGE!!!!!
(They rush at PJ)
PJ: Wait! It's not my fault either! It's umm...well it's umm...AGGGGHHHH!! (Turns and runs out of the studio with Faramir, Sam, Frodo, and the Nazgul after him.)

Yeah it's lame I know but it sounded funny when I first thought of it. smilies/rolleyes.gif

[ March 22, 2003: Message edited by: Firondoiel ]

[Lily Bombadil]

Not exactly a blooper, but it could've happened when Frodo first met Gandalf
Frodo: Uncle Bilbo, who's your friend?
Bilbo: Frodo, my lad, this is Gandalf the Gay!
Frodo: Heeheeheeheehee...! *he falls over*
Gand: Oh, as if YOU can talk, Dildo.....

I know, NASTY! Huh? smilies/eek.gif
-------------------------------

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

[Lily Bombadil]

OH!! I HAVE ANOTHER 1!!
Galadriel's mirror
Galadriel leads Frodo to her mirror. All of a sudden: legolas is in the mirror!
Legolas: Excuuuussse mmmmeeee!!!!!!!! I am TRYING to TAKE - A - BATTTTHHH!!!!
Frodo: Ok. Sorry, Leggers! we'll just leave. Come on, Lady Galadriel. Lady Galadriel?
*Galadriel is in the mirror scrubbing Legolas's back*
Frodo: EEEEWWWWW!!!!!! Wait till I tell Celeborn......
*He bolts & Galadriel 7 Leggers chase him, covered in bubbles*
--------------------------------
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

[Firondoiel]

In TTT...

Arwen: Go to sleep.
Aragorn: I am asleep. This is a dream.
Arwen: Then is is a good dream.
Aragorn: Actually I was thinking of it more as a nightmare.

[legolas luver*1]

it's lame but here it goes.
after Boromir has tried to steal the ring from frodo.

Frodo:The ring has taken Boromir.
Aragorn:He did!?
Frodo:No you poor dumb pitiful excuse of a
ranger!THE RING HAS TAKEN BOROMIR!Not
BOROMIR HAS TAKEN THE RING!
(Strider hits him.)
Frodo:OW! smilies/evil.gif

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Frodo:The ring has taken Boromir.
Aragorn:He did!?
Frodo:No you poor dumb pitiful excuse of a
ranger!THE RING HAS TAKEN BOROMIR!Not
BOROMIR HAS TAKEN THE RING!
(Strider hits him.)
Frodo:OW!

LOL! Pardon me, but I had a spin-off idea of this:

Frodo: The Ring has taken Boromir!
Aragorn: Where?
Frodo: Over there.
Aragorn: No it didn't! I just passed through there and he wasn't here and neither was the Ring!
Frodo: No, the Ring has TAKEN Boromir.
Aragorn: No, sir! I just-
(Frodo slaps him)
Aragorn: Ow!

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

NASTY! Huh? Yup! But I like it anyway...
Here's another:
Saruman: If I go, Theoden dies!
*"battle of the wizards" happens. Suddenly Theoden falls off of the throne*
Gandalf: Theoden! Are you okay?
Flashback: If I go, Theoden dies!
Gandalf: Oh. Right....
Theoden: Gotcha there! You really believed me, didn't you? HA!
Gollum *appearing out of nowhere*: I told you he was tricksy...

I see you're all asleep, so I'll go now. Oh and m parents are calling me. smilies/tongue.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

Bag End right before Bilbo leaves
Gand: Bilbo! You must leave the Ring to Frodo!
Bilbo: Well...um...you see, that's just it. I...er...lost it in a-a card game...
*Flashes over to the Gaffer's house*
Sam:Gaffer! Gaffer? Where are you?
Gaffer: Heh, heh... I knew this old ring'd be good for somethin'....

Hope it's funny! Please rate me!

--------------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Catherine]

*You now the scene when frodo gets stabbed?*
*All the wraiths come towards the Hobbits and two are thrown aside* Pippin Runs to get his harmonica, starts playing it* The magical music makes the Wraiths do Irish step dancing*
Wraith:"Aww cute little hobbits why dont you join in too!"

~Stupid, but i cant think, cuz i just finished my HW.~

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Hey! David's nose ain't THAT big...he's beautiful! *ahem* Okay, anyways...

TT
Frodo: I can't doo this Sammmm...
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here!
*Frodo pulls out a copy of Two Towers*
Frodo: I know! See, it says right HERE that Faramir doesn't take us to Osgiliath! He just lets us go on our merry ways!
Faramir: REALLY?? Let me see!
*reads the book for a sec*
Faramir: DUDE! This is totally wrong!
PJ: Oh, for the love of--CUT!!!

[Lily Bombadil]

Bilbo's speech-

Bilbo:I know you all far more than I should like. So...screw you all! I'm leaving!
*he vanishes*
*everyone looks around & some seem slightly hurt*
Random hobbit: *stands* Who needs freakin' Bilbo?! We still have BEER!!!
All:YEAH! YAY, BEER!

Hope you like! Please rate me!
--------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Lily Bombadil]

Bilbo's party: *Frodo is dancing when all of a sudden, everyone pelts him with rotten tomatoes*
Frodo: *throws himself down* WWWAAAAAA!!!!! *tears*
=====================================
Bree: * Frodo jumps on the table & starts to sing the song about the inn. Everyone covers their ears & a dog howls in the background*
Sam: MR. FRODO! TAKE IT DOWWWN A NOTCH!
======================================
smilies/evil.gif Hope they're funny! I liked 'em. Rate me!
---------------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Lily Bombadil]

Bag End
Gand: Get down, Frodo.
Frodo:Uh! Uh! Oh, yeah! I'm down! I'm down!
Grand: Frodo, be quiet!
*Gandalf looks at Frodo. Frodo is wearing Britney Spears' red jumpsuit & is dancing around the kitchen*
Gand: Frodo! What the-!
*looks innocently at Gandalf*
Frodo:Oops...I did it again, baby! smilies/evil.gif
==================================
I can't remember the name. Scene with Gandalf & Saruman: * saruman is looking in a hand mirror*
Sar: Gandalf, do you think I need botox?
Gand: Do you really want me to answer that question?
Sar: So, you're saying I do?
Gand: No... All I'm saying is, if you ever need to move, don't waste money on a Givenchy suitcase when you've got such big BAGS under your eyes. HA! HAAA...!
*he falls off his chair*
Sar:Yarrgh!!!
Gand:Oh, snap!
---------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Galadriel9]

Hi, hope this one hasn't been done before, I haven't read all of them...
IN THE COUNCIL OF ELROND:
Elrond is speaking and in the almost silent bit, there is the sound of a mobile ringing, everyone starts rooting through their pockets...eventually, Aragorn gets his phone out:"Sorry everyone (answers the phone) Hello... oh Arwen...uh...yeah the meeting's going fine honey... no, we won't be finished that soon...no, its ok, just pop my dinner in the oven honey...yeah...thanks sweetie...I love you too...(whispers sweet nothings down the phone as Elrond advances, wielding Gimlis axe)

Ok, sorry...I took that one a bit far...

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

(Boromir is teaching Merry and Pippin to swordfight)

Boromir: "four... five... six. Good! Faster!" *clank clank clank--*

Merry: "EYAAAAAAGH!"

(Boromir stares at the twitching Hobbit as he lays on the ground, head cut open)

Boromir: "Um... right... fancy another try, Master Took?"

Jackson: "Oh crap. Medics!"

[Ainaserkewen]

All is silent. The fellowship is trapped by orcs in dwarroldelf, waiting for the Balrog to grow and scare them all away, he doesn't.
Sam:What do we do now?
Gimli:Hey Orly, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Legolas:Care Bears count down!
All: Five four three two one!
Elijah, laughing and shaking his head:It's been a long day.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Okay.... smilies/wink.gif smilies/smile.gif Head's empty, can't think of anything now, but I will later... smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

smilies/evil.gif From The Hobbit. The part where the dwarves come to Bag End.
*the kitchen is full of dwarves already. Doorbell rings*
Bilbo: Someone at the door!
*he answers it*
New dwarves: Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, & Gloin at your service!
Gloin:Aaannd! We brought strippers!
=====================================
FotR Amon-Hen.
Boromir:How it angers me! Fool! Obstinate fool!Running willfully to death & ruining our cause. If any mortals have claim the Ring, it is the men of Numenor, and not halflings. It is not yours save by unhappy chance. It might have been mine. It should be mine. Give it to me!
*Frodo wipes his face angrily*
Frodo: No! And STOP SPITTING ON ME! You spastic dolt!
*Frodo kicks Boromir where it counts & runs*
smilies/mad.gif Rate me!
--------------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Legolas: "You would be fed before your blow fell!"

Éomer: (trying to keep a straight face) "I'd be what?"

(Legolas glowers)

Jackson: "Cut!"

Second take:

Legolas: "You would be dead before your flow bell!"

Éomer: "I'll bet my flow bells faster than yours!"

Legolas: "Don't make me kill you."

Jackson: "Cut!"

Third take:

Legolas: "You would be dead before... your blow... fell."

Éomer: "Not if you keep talking that slow."

Jackson: "Cut!"

Fourth take:

Legolas: "YOUWOULDBEDEADBEFOREYOURBLOWFELL!"

Éomer: "Run that by me in English?"

Jackson: "Cut! Forget it, let's break for lunch."

[Lily Bombadil]

Good one, Rynoah! Ooh! What if Leggers said that like Darth Vader?!
LEG: You would be dead before your blow fell! *Vader breath* Coo pur...coo pur...
(I hope everyone liked Frodo spears! Just wait till he performs 'Not a Girl...'!)
Does anyone else think P.J. looks like Barley Butterbur? Just asking.
-----------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Lindril Arvilya]

At Galadriel's Mirror
Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell. (lifts pitcher and begins to pour water) For the Mirror shows many things: some things that were, some things that are, and some things....
Frodo: (has been watching the water pouring) I need to go to the bathroom!

[Lily Bombadil]

Elrond's council
Elrond: One of you must do this
* Frodo jumps on his chair *
Frodo: now this looks like a job for me, so, everybody, just follow me. We'll go to Mordor, destroy this evil ring 'cause it feels so empty without me...!
*council stares*
==================================
T.T.T.
*Legolas has a an arrow nocked aiming at Gandalf*
gandalf:I've come back to you at the turn of the tide.
*Leg, Gim, & Aragorn stare. Gand is wearing a white bikini & he has no tan*
Aragorn: Legolas, what're you standing around for?! Shoot him!
==================================
The Hobbit. Gollum's cave.
*Bilbo just gave a riddle*
Gollum: Teeth! Teeth, my preciousss! But we has only 6!
*he holds up 4 fingers*

[Lily Bombadil]

Don't know what I did. This was supposed to go with my last post.
*T.T.T. Rohan. Aragorn is sword fighting Eowyn*
Eowyn: *yell* HA!!!
*Anduril is whacked in half*
Aragorn: Oh, for the love of Elrond! How many times do I have to have this thing reforged before I get it right?! Peice of crap.
* drops Anduril & storms off*
Hope y'all like! Rate me!
--------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I shoul like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Lily Bombadil]

Bree. Instead of Frodo jumping on the table & singing, Pippin jumps on the table & breakdances*
Bar Crowd: *chanting* Go, Pippin! It's your birthday! Go, Pippin! It's your birthday!...
*suddenly Pippin stops*
Pippin: Merry, it's not my birthday.
Merry: I know, Pip. It's just a homey saying.
Pippin: Oh, okay. *He starts to dance like a stripper. Everyone yells for him. Suddenly he stops unbuttoning his shirt*
Pippin: Merry, what's a homey?....
smilies/cool.gif smilies/evil.gif
Hope it's good(Ithink I had a bit too much beer! [kidding!])! Rate me.
---------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Lindril Arvilya]

Pippin: It's talking, Merry! The tree is talking!
Treebeard: Tree? I am no tree!
Pippin: Huh. Coulda fooled me.
Merry: He did fool you, Pip.

[Lily Bombadil]

Love that! Merry & Pip are mucho dumb! (but mostly Pip) OK here's mine:
********************************************
ELROND'S COUNCIL:
elrond: Strangers from distant lands, you have been summoned here to answer threat of....Gondor? *looks puzzled*
Gand: *shakes head* Try again, lord.
Elrond: Right! Got it this time! You have been summoned here to answer the threat of...of...MIRKWOOD!!
Gand: *mutters* ...no...no...
*Legolas sighs & shakes his head*
Elrond: Wait! WAIT!! I KNOW I've got it! 3rd time's the charm! You have been summoned to answer the threat of MORIA!
Random council member: Oh, ELBERETH! Come ON!
*Gandalf stands*
Gandalf: It is the threat of Mordor.
Elrond: *snaps fingers* I KNEW it started with an M!
(RATE ME!) smilies/eek.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/biggrin.gif
--------------------------------------
" I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Ainaserkewen]

Cast:Are you sure you want it this was PJ?
PJ:Oh course, Elijah, hop on your broomstick and chase after gollum who has your ring but throws it but you catch it on a steep dive.
Cast:Uh??
PJ:IT'S MY MOVIE OKAY!

Pippin, Sam, Frodo and Merry, are tumbling down the hill. Pippin misses and lands in the **** .
Pippin:EWWW!
PJ:That's not your line billy.
Billy fingers him.

[Himaran]

At Helms Deep:

Aragorn: Bring him down, Legolas!

Legolas *Fumbles with arrow, and can't get it onto this bowstring*: Dang thing, its stuck again. How many times

PJ: CUT!!!!!

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Rynnie smilies/wink.gif you just got me in trouble with your Legolas-Eomer post. smilies/frown.gif Tell you how later. smilies/wink.gif Hearing people yelling to get off of the computer.
smilies/mad.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif

[ April 01, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[Meela]

ELROND'S COUNCIL:
elrond: Strangers from distant lands, you have been summoned here to answer threat of....Gondor? *looks puzzled*
Gand: *shakes head* Try again, lord.
Elrond: Right! Got it this time! You have been summoned here to answer the threat of...of...MIRKWOOD!!
Gand: *mutters* ...no...no...
*Legolas sighs & shakes his head*
Elrond: Wait! WAIT!! I KNOW I've got it! 3rd time's the charm! You have been summoned to answer the threat of MORIA!
Random council member: Oh, ELBERETH! Come ON!
*Gandalf stands*
Gandalf: It is the threat of Mordor.
Elrond: *snaps fingers* I KNEW it started with an M!

LOL!! That was absolutely brilliant!!!

[Himaran]

*lol* That was excellent!!!

Himaran

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Galadriel: Welcme, Frodo of the Shire....one who has seen the PIE!!!!!
Frodo:...

Oh and, a little while ago we were having study hall, and I took a computer far away from the teachers and got on the BDs. I was reading through this thread, as I hadn't been checking back with it for a while. I was close to bursting from laughter, and then I read Rynoah's...I cracked up so darn loud! I just barely managed to close the BDs window before the teachers came, at least.... smilies/rolleyes.gif smilies/eek.gif

[ April 02, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[One Axe to Rule them All]

oh ho! this stuff craks me up....

Here's one, The ringwraiths are coming for frodo, the king stabs frodo in the shoulder

Witch-King "Take that"
Frodo "It's my part, you can't have it!"
Witch-king "but i could have made a great hobbit!"
Frodo "It's my part, my preciousss"
witch-king "By the way frodo"
"I"
"am"
"your"
"Father"
Frodo- "noooooooooooo"
Strange voice- "next time on All my Ringwraiths..."

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

That makes me happy for some reason. Not that you getting in trouble makes me happy, but... uh... meh....

Elrond: "His eye is fixed...."

Gandalf: "... and?"

Elrond: "Give me a moment, I've forgotten the rest of that line."

Gandalf: "Hurry up. I'm sure Sauron isn't happy that his eye is fixed."

[Salix]

Caradhras:
Aragorn: Boromir! Give the ring to Frodo.
Boromir: As you wish. I care not.
(Boromir looks as if he is handing the Ring to Frodo, but he throws it past, dashes around Frodo, grabs the ring and calls over his shoulder)
Boromir: Suckers!

[Lily Bombadil]

Thanks, Meela! I like to read your posts too. I always thought you were 1 of the funniest.

Alright, this really isn't much of a blooper, but:
ELROND'S COUNCIL:
Legolas:This is no mere Ranger-
*This time, Frodo Lavigne jumps on his chair*
Frodo: He iz a rang-R boi! He said- *Leggers covers Frodo's mouth*
Frodo: Mm, mmmm, mmm.... *still singing*
Elrond: *clears throat* Aaaanyway....

******RATE ME smilies/evil.gif ******
---------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

Another Boromir-Caradhras one:

Aragorn: "Boromir! Give the Ring to Frodo."

Boromir: (hesitantly) "As you wish. I--OH VALAR! AN OLIPHAUNT!"

(Everyone whirls around looking for the giant beast. When they look back, Boromir has disappeared.)

Boromir: (from afar) "Suuuuuckers!"

Sam: (sobbing) "I wanted to see an oliphaunt, Mr. Frodo! I wanted to!"

[ April 02, 2003: Message edited by: Rynoah, the Overly-Happy ]

[Lily Bombadil]

Good one, Rynoah!


smilies/evil.gif Lothlorien:
Gimli: Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily! I have the eyes of a hawk & the ears of a fox!
Sam: Aaand the butt of a BLACK BEAR!

smilies/evil.gif smilies/evil.gif smilies/mad.gif
rate me
--------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Meela]

Thanks, Meela! I like to read your posts too. I always thought you were 1 of the funniest.

Thank you very much! smilies/smile.gif

Random attempt...

*Celeborn and Galadriel walk down the steps*

Galadriel: We- *turns and stares*

*Celeborn grabs a top hat and a cane and tap dances the rest of the way down, doing the splits at the bottom*

[One Axe to Rule them All]

Here's one more

The scene in TFOTR when the ringwraith stabs Frodo.

Aragron catches the ringwraith on fire
Other Ringwraiths- "TED, STOP DROP AND ROLL!"

[One Axe to Rule them All]

here's another one...

Aragorn- "Legolas, what do your elven eyes see?"

Legolas- "I see dead people....."

[Meela]

Gandalf falls off the bridge of Khazad-Dum and catches his sword.

*swoooooosh, etc.*

He keeps on falling... and falling...

The Balrog looks down in surprise as Gandalf falls right past him.

Gandalf: dang it...

[Lily Bombadil]

I think Celeborn is a pothead:

Galadriel:The quest stands upon the edge of- Celeborn!
*Celeborn lights up*
Celeborn: (puff, puff) Weeeewww....!
----------------------------------------
Gimli: Cram. *he looks at the bread*
Celeborn: "Special" cram!
---------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Lily Bombadil]

Bree:
*****

Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Are YOU frightened?
Aragorn: Why do you ask?
Frodo: Why do YOU ask?
Aragorn: Are you always this annoying?
Frodo: Are YOU always this annoying?
Aragorn: SHUT UP!!!
Frodo: SHUT UP!!!
Aragorn: AAAAAAAH!!!!! *runs out the door*
Frodo: AAAAAAAH!!!!! *runs out the door*

smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif Poor Aragorn!!
Rate me!
----------------------------------
" I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

That makes me happy for some reason. Not that you getting in trouble makes me happy, but... uh... meh.... smilies/mad.gif smilies/mad.gif I see past thy foul lies! smilies/wink.gif You live to get people in trouble! smilies/evil.gif (Just kidding, by the way.) TED, STOP DROP AND ROLL! I see dead people... Lol!!!!

[Lily Bombadil]

Out of idiotic curiousity, I watched the cartoon of "The Hobbit".
The Lonely Mountain; Bilbo & Balin-

Bilbo: It smells!
Balin: Sorry.

I'm sure you all get it & I know it's lame. Sorry! Rate me. smilies/confused.gif
--------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Lily Bombadil]

Instead of 'Merry? 'What?' 'I'm hungry.':

Pippin: Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: I farted.
************************
Lothlorien-
The Fellowship enters the talan & the Lord & Lady greet them-
Galadriel: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Come now & sit in a circle for you are weary with sorrow & much toil.
*ten minutes later*
Sam: Hey! Hey, guys look! *touches his nose with his tounge*
Legolas: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!
Aragorn: (puff) Wheeew!
Frodo: Hey, hey look! I'm Gollum! *rocks Back & forth* My preciousssss! Blaaaaa!!
Merry: What kinda pipeweed is this?
Pip: Look, guys! I'm Gandalf! Fool of a Took! Throw youself in! Meh, meh, meh! I'm Gandalf!
(Boromir looks suspiciously at the joint)
Boromir: What is this new devilry?
Gimli: Balin! Waaaaa!! *sob, sob*
Legolas: HEHEHEHEHE!!!! Hey! Hey! Y'all 'member why I'm laughin'?
smilies/tongue.gif smilies/tongue.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif
I know, smoke circle really lame!

[One Axe to Rule them All]

Here's another lamer off the top of my head, helms deep, the orc that's running with the powder keg accidentally farts and the keg blows, killing about half of the orcish army.

Another one.
elrond-"you have come to answer the threat of Mordor..."
*Giggling*
elrond-'What's so funny!?"
*elrond looks down and realizes that he's wearing arwens dress*
elrond-"it was a mistake!, i'm not gay!!!"


one more.

*Galadriel pours the water into the seeing pool, and sees that it's blue*

Galadriel- "what sort of devilry is this"

*Pippin sneaks up behind her*
Pippin- "It's not devilry, it's Tidy Bowl!"

The eye of sauron- "It burns!!!, the water burns!!"

Frodo- "So sorry man"

eye of Saron- "It's all good"

[Firondoiel]

Here's another try at this...

The Bridge of Khazad-Dum

(Gandalf turns around on the bridge and raises his staff menacingly.)

Gandalf: (To Balrog) “If you wish it smashed by all means keep moving forward.”

Balrog: “Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?”

Gandalf: “There can be no arrangement.”

(He raises his staff higher.)

Balrog :(Stops his approach)“Well if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impass.”

Gandalf: “I’m afraid so. I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.”

Balrog: “You’re that smart?”

Gandalf: “Let me put it this way, have you ever heard of Manwë? Ulmo? Aulë?”

Balrog: “Yes.”

Gandalf: “Morons.”

Balrog: “Really? Well in that case…”

PJ: “CUT!!!! What do you think you’re doing?! Don’t you know your lines?!”

Gandalf: “Certainly. I think we got that take word perfect.”

Balrog: (Consults his script) “Yep. Here PJ, see for yourself.”

PJ: (Reading the script) “The Princess Bride. Once upon a time in the country of Florin…WHAT?! Whose been messing with the scripts?!?!?

(Hobbit snickering is heard.)

[ April 08, 2003: Message edited by: Firondoiel ]

[merenwen]

this is my first one so try not to be too harsh smilies/smile.gif
Caradhras:
Aragorn-Boromir!Give the ring to Frodo
Boromir-.....
Aragorn-Boromir!! hello!!
Boromir-*mumble mumble*
Aragorn throws a snowball, hitting boromir in the head
Boromir-Hey!! oh, you asked for it!**starts a huge snow ball fight**

yeaaa.. i'm tired, sorry

~merenwen~

[Firondoiel]

HEHEHE. *envisions Aragorn and Boromir in a snowball fight* LOL!! smilies/biggrin.gif

[One Axe to Rule them All]

almost too tired to laugh, must make last feeble attempt...

TTT when the riders attack the fellowship.

Legolas- "It's a pack of wolverines"
aragorn- "it's a pack of dogs"
gimli- "It's a pack of squirrels!"

PJ- "Cut!"

Legolas- "It's a bird!"
aragorn- "It's a plane"
Gimli- "It's still a pack of squirrels!"

PJ- "CUT!"

Legolas- "It's a pack of goblins riding worgs!"
Aragorn- "It's a pack of goblins riding worgs!"
gimli- "It still looks like squirrels to me"

PJ- "CUT!, Gimli, it's not squirrels!"

Legolas- "It's a pack of goblins riding worgs!"
Aragorn- "It's a pack of goblins riding worgs!"
Gimli- "It's a pack of.... Bunnies!"

sorry guys it was the best i could do smilies/frown.gif

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

LOL! Great stuff, guys! I think I'd like to see a Boromir-Aragorn snowball fight... smilies/evil.gif

You live to get people in trouble!

*sigh* I know. My secret is out now. smilies/wink.gif

Let's see, now...:

(Weathertop. Frodo has just been stabbed and Aragorn leaps in swinging his sword and a lit torch. He chases off all but one Ringwraith and then suddenly whirls around and chucks the torch at him. A spark from the torch flips from the flames and lands in Aragorn's hair. It immediately explodes into flames as the Ringwraith watches in horror.)

Merry: (turning to Pippin calmly as Aragorn runs around trying desperately to beat the flames out in the background) "It's those natural oils. They're highly flammable."

[One Axe to Rule them All]

Okay, i'm back for another round.

Helms Deep. Gimli is on the bridge cutting down orcs to the tune of "Oh I wish I Was An Oscar Meyer Wiener"

And then it cuts to legolas doing the knife-fighting thing singing...

"Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting"
*Kills another orc*
"Oh Those kids were fast as lightning"
*Kills another orc*
you get the Idea smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/evil.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Meela]

Another version of Weathertop:

*Aragorn sets fire to the wraith and then circles round checking for more*

*spin, spin*

*spiiiiin....*

*Aragorn doesn't stop spinning. The hobbits just stare*

Aragorn: wheeeeeee......

[Meela]

*The Fellowship set off fom Rivendell, travelling over rocks and fields, etc.*

*grab each other's waists*

All: do do do, come on and do the conga...


Or:

*The Fellowship set off fom Rivendell, travelling over rocks and fields, etc.*

Gandalf: The wheels on the cart go round and round...

All (joining in): round and round, round and round...

[Meela]

Yet another post...

Random thought:

*Fellowship leave Rivendell*

Elrond turns and goes back inside. Music starts playing out of nowhere, and Elrond sings a gloomy song about saying goodbye.


Also:

Arwen leaves Rivendell.

Elrond turns and goes back inside. Music starts playing out of nowhere, and Elrond sings a gloomy song about saying goodbye.


Also:

Gandalf falls.

The Fellowship turn and leave Moria, singing a gloomy song about saying goodbye.

[ April 09, 2003: Message edited by: Meela ]

[Lily Bombadil]

Okay, here's some time wastin'-
Hollin-
Gimli: ...Gandalf, wecould could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin, Balin-
(Legolas comes back)
Legolas: I'm tired of you & your mines! *throws Gimli off a cliff*
Gimli: AAAAAAH!
(After the crebain pass over)
Legolas: I hope my flawless, SHINY hair didn't get us discovered.
Sam: I'm tired of you and you hair! *throws Legolas off a cliff*
Legolas: AAAAAH!
(At Moria gate)
Sam: Goodbye, Bill. *tears*
Frodo: I'm tired of you & your Bill!
(tries to lift Sam)
Frodo: Errrrrr...!
*his arms break off*
To be continued (maybe)....
--------------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Vuelve]

ok here i go again... smilies/eek.gif

Moria when they first enter and gandalf lights up his staff.....

Gandalf: We have no...(thumps staff on the mines floor will not light up )...choice...(thumps staff again harder this time but still will not light up)
Gandalf mumbling: stupid piece of trash, should have known there was something wrong when I bought it on sale,Stupid Harry Potter got the last good one, argh.........
(the whole time trying to make it light up)

or

Gandalf: We have no...(thumps staff on the mines floor will not light up )...choice...
(in the background the rest of the felowship are discussing something)
Frodo: wait we have an idea..
Fellowship: Clap on (they all clap twice. staff suddenly lights up)
Fellowship: Clap off (they all clap twice. staff suddenly goes out)
*this goes on for quite some time the staff looks like a strobe light. Gandalf starts to break dance.*
Fellowship: Go Gandy its your birthday.
Were gonna party like its your birthday.
Gonna eat lembas like its your birthday.
And we don't give a care if it ain't your birthday.

wait...wait...awwwwww it was almost funny smilies/frown.gif

[Captin_Faramir]

Here I go:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::In the Mines::

Gandalf:*Reading from the book in Balin's Tomb*
Pippin:*Looking curiously at the skeleton*
Others:*Staring in awe around the place*

Gandalf:They are coming...*flinches, waiting for the skeleton to drop. So do the others, but nothing happens*
*.....*
*.......*
Gandalf:*Turns around and finds Pippin missing*
Frodo:Oh no, did Pippin get confused?

Gandalf:Apparently did.
Boromir:Maybe he took you seriously when you said "throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity". After all, this is the 13th take.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ April 09, 2003: Message edited by: Captin_Faramir ]

[Lily Bombadil]

*They have just entered the Mines*
Gandalf: (lights staff) Ah, I certainly am glad I changed the bulb before we left!
*Incedent with the Watcher in the Water happens*
Gandalf: Into the Mines!!!
*They run in. The ceiling falls, blocking the doors*
Gandalf: We have but one choice: We must face the long dark of Moria. (tries to light staff. Nothing)
Gandalf: I don't understand! I just changed this bulb!
*Several failed attempts later*
Frodo: Gandalf? You forgot to change the batteries, didn't you?
(A few dark hours later. The hear a match scrape, smell funny smoke & see a tiny light)
Pip: Orcs! (jumps in Merry's arms)
(They turn & see Celeborn in a corner)
Celeborn: ~puff~ Would you care for a smoke???

smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif smilies/evil.gif smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif

[One Axe to Rule them All]

Here's one, legolas is killing orcs like crazy in helm's deep and he says "Gandalf's right!, womens underwear DO make you more accurate!" smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/evil.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

That was good, One Axe...
here's a continuation, of yours-
Aragorn: Hey! No pantyline!
Gimli: Grr...I'm rrriding up...
*Legolas & Aragorn look disgusted at the thought of Gimli's "problem"*
-------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Everdawn]

Gandalf reading the last pages of the diary in Balin's tomb. "and they all lives hapily ever after.. the end.."
*strange looks from the fellowship.*
"ok well i think that about it, c'mon, its not far to the bridge now.."

[merry03]

On the bridge in the mines...

Gandalf: Fly, you fools.

*Fellowship takes out a portable grill and some toast*

Gandalf: FLY!!! Not Fry!! smilies/mad.gif

*Gandalf falls*

Legolas: Hey, look. You can't see any panty lines on Gandalf either.

Aragorn: I wonder where he got those.

Gimli: Looks like Victoria Secret.


I know, that wasn't that funny. I'm kinda tired.

[ April 11, 2003: Message edited by: merry03 ]

[Everdawn]

Gandalf: Fly you fools!

*fellowship shrugs and suddenly begins to take off from the bridge.*

[The Evenstar]

Yea, that would look hilarious!!

OK, my turn:

Saruman speaking to Sauron in Orthanc: What does the Eye command?

Sauron: Uh.......I think I need some mascara. My eye doesn't look scary enough.

Saruman: *Hmph......

OK, that was my first try ever so it wasn't so funny

[ April 13, 2003: Message edited by: The Evenstar ]

[One Axe to Rule them All]

Here's one

*Aragorn comes up to Legolas and gives him a wrapped present*

Legolas- "You remembered!"

Aragorn- "How could I forget your birthday?"

*Legolas opens the box and finds a pair of skimpy underwear*

Legolas- "Um.. Aragorn, I asked for a new BOW-striing, not a new G-string"

[Lily Bombadil]

(To anyone who's seen 'Paint Your Wagon')

*Leaving Rivendell*
Legolas: (singing) I was born under the Evenstar. I was BORN under the EVEN-starrr...
(rest of Fellowship joins in)
PJ: Cut! Orlando, guys, this is NOT a musical.
Sam: Sure it is! It's called 'Paint Your Mithril'.

WARNING: Blooper may contain high levels of lame-oxide. You have been warned.
-------------------------------
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

[Meela]

(don't know if this has been done)

Frodo: I will take the ring to Mordor, though I do not know the way.

*Gandalf strides over to Frodo and places a hand on his shoulder*

Gandalf: I believe some sort of map is in order, then.

*strides off*

[One Axe to Rule them All]

Fellowhip leaves rivendell

frodo- "Hey"
Gimli- "Hey"
Legolas- "hey"
Gandafl- "hey"
Boromir- "Hey"
Everybody- "Hey, Hey, Hey!"

All Together- "It's fun to stay at the"

Y
M
C
A

"It's fun to stay at the"

Y
M
C
A

just another random thought....

[Lily Bombadil]

OK, One Axe! A little creepy. Yeah, scary. But freakin' funny all the same! Props!

[Morwen steelsheen]

You guys are all so funny!!!!!!!

I've got a couple You'll have to let me know if you like them, their making fun of some very untolkien lines inthe movie.


Aragorn: I swore to protect you.
Frodo: Can you protect me from yourself?
Aragorn: *pauses* Well I don't know, but I could jolly well try!


Also in Lotr.......

Aragorn: Let's hunt some orc>
Legolas&Gimili: O yea baby!!!!!

[Lily Bombadil]

I could DEFINETLY picture Gimli saying, "Oh, yeah, baby!"

Okay, here's mine-

Aragorn comes through the doors of Theoden's palace. Eowyn comes forth dressed like a Bonney Lass, then she says in an Irish accent, "Welcome ta Rrrohan!"
Then Merry comes out dressed like one o' the Little Folk (leprechauns), playing a flute, & step dancing.

( I thought o' that one while I was sleepin' last night. Me ma's part Irish.)
Okay, I'm getting too into the spirit...!

[Dûrlossiel]

(the Battle of Helm's Deep...Legolas does the surfboard thing)
Orcs: EEEEEH!!!! (they all pull off masks revealing.....rabid fangirls!!)
Legolas: NOOO!!!

*rolling on floor laughing*
These are soooo funny!!!!! smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

Welcome to the Downs Durlossiel! I'm outta ideas so everybody just keep on doin' the ~wave~ for Borry!

Bye! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Lily Bombadil]

O.K. I thought of this last night:

Rosie comes home with 13 wiggling shopping bags. Sam & Frodo (who are having a beer drinking contest) come to see what's going on.
Sam: Rosie, I told you, 'Make sure the chicken's DEAD when you buy it.'
Frodo: *snicker, snicker*
Rosie dumps the bags out revealing 13 babies
Sam; Rosie, what-
Rosie: Oh, Sam! They were having a SALE at Khol's!
They direct there attention to a corner
Sam; What's with the alligator?
Rosie: It was 1 of those Buy 13 Get An Alligator Free things

OK I'M STUUUUUPID

The alligator came from the time I was changing around the words to 'Gossip Folks'

[legolas luver*1]

this is kind of off topic, but heres what sam dose after high school.
Sam is a fat highschool dropout that is constantly searching for Frodo. When he isnt looking on the internet hes running through the streets topless with sings and banners of Frodo.The sings read:Frodo Baggins wnnted dead or alive.(dead is scratched out)...to be continued


gandalf airline services. the only place to FLY YOU FOOLS!!!!!! smilies/evil.gif

[Meela]

I have images in my head of the ents somersaulting towards Isengard and stopping at the gates/walls in a Charlies' Angels pose.

Help me, please...

*the men in white coats come running*

[ May 09, 2003: Message edited by: Meela ]

[Meela]

Aragorn is lying on the ground, listening for the Uruk-Hai.

Aragorn: Hmmm, I think we may be getting close-

*suddenly a hoard of Uruks stampede across Aragorn, squishing him underfoot*