Alright, I'll start this one and see how it goes.
Announcing the first annual Middle-earth Mr. Universe pageant! Meet the contestants and hear what they think of themselves!
(Please note I share NONE of these opinions)
I should obviously win. Who else has my manly stubble? Rowrrrr!!
Your stubble is no match for my silky soft skin and wonderous profile! *winkwink*
I've got you all beat! With my innocent, huge, mesmerizing eyes, I've got this contest in the bag! *blink*
I would not be too sure, halfling! It takes more than stubble, sleek hair or humongous eyes. Any brigand of the hillside could show as much! But a royal bearing, moderate amount of stubble, AND a great smile takes the cake!
Well, posing is important too!
Woah, they let me be in a contest? *is staggered*
And now, meet your judge!
THESE are the contestants? Ha ha ha ha!!
And now, part two.