Arwen: Aragorn, I've decided to marry Legolas.
Aragorn: But... I thought you loved me!
Arwen: Well, you're really sweet... but you're just not what I look for in a man. Mortality's not really my thing. Sorry, honey.
Denethor: Monarchy is great. I can't wait for that Aragorn dude to be crowned King!
Aragorn: (at Weathertop) Take these flaming sticks! They fear fire!
Nazgul: Oh, no, you've got us all wrong. We were wondering if you wanted to roast marshmallows with us?
Celeborn: I love Dwarves.
Sauron: (To the Nazgul) The Ring?! You idiots! I wanted you to invite the Fellowship over for dinner!
Sauron: You know, I never really liked rings that much. Let's forget this whole ring thing. I'm making me a necklace!
Random Rohirrim: I hate horses. We should get bikes.
Isildur: I will not destroy the Ring.
Elrond: All right then, I will! * he kicks Isildur*
Morgoth: I'm not evil. All I ever wanted was a little attention. I need a hug...
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"Candy: tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy."
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