Arwen: Aragorn, dear, I really don't think our relationship is working out. Honestly, how do you expect me to memorize all those names you have for yourself?
Legolas: Daddy, don't make me join the fellowship on their journey! It sounds too scary!
Eowyn: Aaahh! A Nazgul! Help me!
Aragorn: Why rescue Merry and Pippin? Let's just go straight to Minas Tirith. They were annoying little hobbits anyway.
Ugluk: Ah, don't worry little halfing. I won't let anything happen to you. You're too cute to torture.
Sam: I hate elves! They're hideous and way too snobby.
Sauron: Oh Well, I never really wanted that ring after all.
Galadriel: Screw this whole passing the test thing! Give me the ring now!
Gimli: Eww! Hair? You give Merry and Pippin silver belts, but you give me a couple strands of your hair? I deserve more than that!
Nazgul: I'm tired of running around Middle-earth looking for that stupid ring. Why don't get some sleep instead?
Boromir: Who said that I wanted the ring? Destroy it! Quickly!
Gandalf to the Balrog: Alright, I'll let you pass this one time. Just promise you won't hurt any of my friends across the bridge.
Frodo: The Sackville-Baggins are so nice and fun to be around! I can't wait to see them again!
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum
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