Scene: Moria, Gandalf and the Balrog have just finished their fighting. Gandlaf is haning on the edge of the destroyed bridge.
Gandalf: "Fly you fools!" Falls down in the abyss.
Aragorn: "10-4!"
The camera turns around and focus on the fellowship. They all got space-suits. Some kind of space craft has appaerd out of the thin air.
Aragorn: "Merry, Pippin, to battlestations."
Merry and Pippin: "Sir, yes sir!"
They run to a pair of laser-cannons who are placed on the ridge of the abyss and starts fireing laser-beams at the orcs. The beams are about 1 meter long, red and have quite high velocity. The orcs, who by some reason have storm-tropper suits, except the helmets, are fireing back with laser-rifles.
Aragorn: "Frodo, man the bridge"
Frodo: "Roger"
Aragorn: "Boromir, check the fuel-levels"
Boromir: "Allready done"
Aragorn: "Gimli, man the radar"
Gimli: "Aye"
Aragorn: "Legolas do something to your hair so it fits in the helmet"
Legolas: Trying to do some funny-looking Leia-hairdo "I'll try"
Aragorn: "Sam, don't press the red button"
There's a red button on the cave wall labled 'don't press this button' and another sign saying 'we mean it don't, under any circumstances, press this button'.
Gndlaf: From the abyss "When I said 'fly', I didn't mean it that way. Just...run away...get out of here..."
He's ignored by everyone.
Sam: "If I just press it a little..."
Nother sign suddenly appears 'not even a bit'.
Sam: "After all, I'm just a undereducated hobbit, I can't read english" He barely touches the button. Nothing happends.
Sam: "Well that wasn't too..."
Robbotic voice: "Self-destruct sequence initiated. This cave will destruct in T -1 minute"
Everybody: "Ahh, what have you done you fool of a Gamgee?"
Sam runs away.
Aragorn: speaking in a mic "Err...Huston, we have a problem"
Sam: finds an alien egg. "Now that would make one big omelett for sure"
Alien appears behind him and hisses.
Alien: "Hhsssss"
A Predator appears behind the Alien and take it's head clean of with his wristblade. He catches the head before it hit the ground and flies away with his space-ship.
Robotic voice: "T -55 seconds"
Aragorn: "We are good to go"
Robotic voice: "T -40 seconds"
Boromir: Hey whatta...?"
Robotic voice: "It's to make a last-second escape possible"
Everybody jumps into the space-ship
Frodo: "Where's Sam?"
Everybody: "Where's Sam?"
Aragorn: "It looks like I have to make a heroic...eh thing"
Heroic music is playing and Aragorn strikes a heroic pose and the runs of.
Robotic voice: "T -15 seconds"
Aragorn runs of grabbs Sam who is saying: "Everybody hates me...*sob, sob*"
Sam: "AAAA...I got alien-blood one my suite" sounds like Nicolas Cage "It's eating through the ****ing suit"
Aragorn: "No it don't"
Blood stops smelting the suit.
Sam: "Why not?"
Aragorn: "It only reacts when it come in contact with oxygen"
Sam: "Well there's a damn lot oxygen in here, isn't it"
Blood starts smelting again.
Aragorn: "No, we err...we fixed that to get the space-scene more realistic, yes that's it"
The blood jumps away swearing.
Aragorn runs to the pace-ship.
Aragorn: "Start the countdown-sequence"
Boromir: "Tennineeightsevensixfiveforthreetwooneliftoflifto fwehavealiftof"
Another Alien appears. Sigourney Weaver appears.
Sigourney Weaver: stressed "You are my lucky star..." Shoots out the Alien with an harpune, gets her feet entangled in the rope and follows the alien out.
Merry: "Phew...I'm glad we lost that one"
Pippin: "Yea...and Sigourney Weaver too"
Merry: "That was what I meant"
They fly away and the starwars intro-music starts playing.
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by the way my name is Manwë, not Manwe
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