Movie Bloopers!

[Lindril Arvilya]

Not exactly a blooper, but it actually happened. Sorry, I'm not sure of the kid's name, or his father's.
Setting: the theatre, watching TTT

Aragorn: What is your name?
Boy: Haleth, son of Hameth, my lord. (Sorry, I'm just guessing.)
Audience member (friend of mine): SON!? Not DAUGHTER?!

[Everdawn]

In TTT when Legolas is doing the shield slide thing..

Legolas sliding when he is cut off by a man who absails down the wall and shoots the orc dead... The battle stops.. Orcs, elves and men look at the stranger.. and then at Legolas... then at the stranger, then at Legolas..

Legolas: Who the hell are you!

Man: I am Bond, James Bond

Legolas: That would be right... just when im about to be the hero, someone gotta take it away from me! Get the hell out of our movie and stay the hell back where you belong!
*cries from the elves..yeah...*
Bond: Oh im terribly sorry old chap, totally my fault..
Legolas pats James bond on the back
Legolas: Its ok man... *turns to the silent battlefield..* OK! LETS DO THAT AGAIN!

The orc gets up and relights the torch and returns to the spot from where he was origionally running..Legolas returns to the top of the Stairs..

hehe.. i thought it was funny...

[Lord Tohlos]

Friend told me this one... Might be pathetic to some of yas, but to me its funny!

Random Rohanirim: (Austrailian accent, as the Elves are aproaching) Hey, Bill! Get a look o' this mate!

Bill (another random guy, also with accent): What?

Other: Elves!

Bill: Your jokin!

Other: No, Im not! Get over here and look mate!

Bill: (walks over) Oh, bloody ell! Its the Brits! I thought it was just us and the Yanks!

[Gamja]

Lol! not bad!

*Wormtounge and Sauruman's scene with the gunpowder in Orthanc*

Saurnuman: Stay back!
*a spark falls off of wormtounge's candle and onto the powder*
Sauruman: *in slow-mo* NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
*Orthanc blows up*
IT's lame, but it was funny when i thought up of it... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Thulorongil]

Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Nope. I'm not scared of aaaaaanything!!!

---------------
Aragorn: I swore to protect you!
Frodo: Can you protect me from the rabid fangirls?

[Lindril Arvilya]

Night in Lothlorien. Galadriel glides past the Fellowship, moving silently. Frodo is the only one who notices. As she disappears round a corner and Frodo gets up to follow, Celeborn comes racing up to him.

Celeborn: Have you seen Galadriel? She's sleepwalking again, and I don't want anyone to know about it... oh God it's so embarrassing.
Frodo: Why? What's so embarrassing about sleepwalking?
Celeborn: No, it's not that, it's that she doesn't know she's skinnydipping in the Mirror....

[ January 19, 2003: Message edited by: Lindril Arvilya ]

[Gamja]

LOL!!!!!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
the best praise I can give to anyone without overloading my computer. Great job!

[Nevtarmawen Greenleaf]

when gollum-smeagol are talking to each other while frodo and sam are sleeping-
smeagol-masters our friend now.
gollum-but you don't have any fri-(he falls off the tree) im ok!it's all his fault!(points at gollum)
gollum-was not!
smeagol-was too!
gollum-was not!!!
(goes on for hours until sam wakes up)
sam-(sees gollum fighting against himself/smeagol) i knew he was a weirdo, but does frodo listen to me...no, follow the freak he says, he'll take us to mordor he says, stupid frodo....

[Nevtarmawen Greenleaf]

(scene where gollum is beating the fish on the rock and singing)
gollum:the rock and pool,is nice and cool, so nice for feet!i only wish(whacks fish on rock)to catch a fish(whacks fish again)so juicy swe--
(the fish turns around and looks at him sadly)
fish:hey man, fish have feelings too!

[Lindril Arvilya]

Aragorn finally meets back up with Arwen and retells his story of washing ashore and dreaming he was kissing her....
Arwen: You were making out with a HORSE? You mistook me for your HORSE?!? Oh, you are so dumped!
*stalks away*

[Everdawn]

In TTT when the orcs are about to attack Helms Deep.. A mobile phone rings... suddenly all men, elves and orcs get out mobile phones and hold them up to their ears checking if it was their phone..

Several thousand "hello"s are heard around the valley until an orc yells out.."its mine"... all the others politly wait till he is finished the call..
Orc: it was the wife
Everyone..: yep.. sorry mate.. not in trouble i hope..
Then they pick up their weapons and continue fighting.

[Gamja]

LOL! Awesome! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

at Helm's Deep
Aragorn: Okay! Ready...Aim....FIRE!
All the ELves/Men/Orcs: FIRE? Where? THeres a fire? AAH! SOUND THE ALARM! GET SOME WATER! FIRE!FIRE!

im not too well at these things...

[Airehiriel]

Orc running with fire...
scene suddenly goes slow motion
background music - Chariots of Fire.
Need I say more?

[Blue Elf]

Okay, I'll attempt one...

FotR (corny scene w/Gandalf and Saruman)
(they start fighting...the Fellowship rushes in)
Frodo: Wow, Gandalf, I didn't know you could breakdance!!

(scene on top of Saruman's tower with Gandalf and the moth)
Gandalf: (whispers to moth) Ahhh....I knew that moth-ish class in high school would be handy...

TTT

(Haldir dies)
(Aragorn rushes to him)
Aragorn: Haldir!! You shall have not died in vain!!
Haldir: (waking up) Um, actually, I'm not dead yet.
Aragorn: Then you shall have ot been mortally wounded in vain.
Haldir: Actually, I'm getting better. I think I could pull through.
(Aragorn looks exasperated)

(the Battle of Helm's Deep...Legolas does the surfboard thing)
Orcs: EEEEEH!!!! (they all pull off masks revealing.....rabid fangirls!!)
Legolas: NOOO!!!

Okay, those were lame....I'll try to do a better job next time......but the rest of those were really funny!!

[Everdawn]

lol Blue elf.. I love the fangirls one... Can I just say... that would most probably be me...hehe

[Blue Elf]

**Imagines Everdawn wearing an orc mask...yipes!! I don't think I'd wanna see anyone in an orc mask...**

Glad ya liked it [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Lindril Arvilya]

Inspired by somebody else's on the first page.

Arwen: Do you remember what I told you?
Aragorn: Nope.

[Blue Elf]

(Aragorn sees Arwen kissing another elf, and rushes to her sorrowfully)

Aragorn: I thought it was true love!! You gave me your immortality for me!!

Glorfindel (who is conviniently near): Aragorn, she does that with every hot guy...gives them some cheap necklace with an evenstar--

Arwen: (let's go of the elf she is kissing) Ooh!! Nice elf...(chases after another elf)


I'm not very nice to Arwen, am I?


(in the corny wizard breakdancing scene with Saruman and Gandalf)
Saruman: (whips out a lightsaber) Ah ha!!
Gandalf: Wrong movie...

Aragorn: Legolas, what's making your quiver so heavy? You ran out of arrows!!
Legolas: My shampoo, my conditioner, my comb...

More later...

[Hirilaelin]

OMG, these are tooooo funny! Alright, I'll attempt some. Got these from fan-fics at the 'Downs.

*scene in rocks by Moria, Legolas is about to jump on the rocks*

P.J.: Orlando, in this scene, you're supposed to jump gracefully from rock to rock.

Orlando: *jumping* Hey look! Hey look Elijah, I'm doin' it!

Elijah: Sweet!

Orlando: *falls* Ouch...

P.J.: CUT!

At the council of Elrond.

Aragorn: Havo dad, Legolas.

Legolas: *in outrage* Have a BATH Legolas?! How dare you!? I bathe every day!

When I read these, I was just about rolling on the floor with laughter. Maybe next time, I'll try to make up some of my own. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

~Hirilaelin

P.S. Rate me please! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[Manwe]

Scene: Moria, Gandalf and the Balrog have just finished their fighting. Gandlaf is haning on the edge of the destroyed bridge.

Gandalf: "Fly you fools!" Falls down in the abyss.

Aragorn: "10-4!"

The camera turns around and focus on the fellowship. They all got space-suits. Some kind of space craft has appaerd out of the thin air.

Aragorn: "Merry, Pippin, to battlestations."

Merry and Pippin: "Sir, yes sir!"

They run to a pair of laser-cannons who are placed on the ridge of the abyss and starts fireing laser-beams at the orcs. The beams are about 1 meter long, red and have quite high velocity. The orcs, who by some reason have storm-tropper suits, except the helmets, are fireing back with laser-rifles.

Aragorn: "Frodo, man the bridge"

Frodo: "Roger"

Aragorn: "Boromir, check the fuel-levels"

Boromir: "Allready done"

Aragorn: "Gimli, man the radar"

Gimli: "Aye"

Aragorn: "Legolas do something to your hair so it fits in the helmet"

Legolas: Trying to do some funny-looking Leia-hairdo "I'll try"

Aragorn: "Sam, don't press the red button"

There's a red button on the cave wall labled 'don't press this button' and another sign saying 'we mean it don't, under any circumstances, press this button'.

Gndlaf: From the abyss "When I said 'fly', I didn't mean it that way. Just...run away...get out of here..."

He's ignored by everyone.

Sam: "If I just press it a little..."

Nother sign suddenly appears 'not even a bit'.

Sam: "After all, I'm just a undereducated hobbit, I can't read english" He barely touches the button. Nothing happends.

Sam: "Well that wasn't too..."

Robbotic voice: "Self-destruct sequence initiated. This cave will destruct in T -1 minute"

Everybody: "Ahh, what have you done you fool of a Gamgee?"

Sam runs away.

Aragorn: speaking in a mic "Err...Huston, we have a problem"

Sam: finds an alien egg. "Now that would make one big omelett for sure"

Alien appears behind him and hisses.

Alien: "Hhsssss"

A Predator appears behind the Alien and take it's head clean of with his wristblade. He catches the head before it hit the ground and flies away with his space-ship.

Robotic voice: "T -55 seconds"

Aragorn: "We are good to go"

Robotic voice: "T -40 seconds"

Boromir: Hey whatta...?"

Robotic voice: "It's to make a last-second escape possible"

Everybody jumps into the space-ship

Frodo: "Where's Sam?"

Everybody: "Where's Sam?"

Aragorn: "It looks like I have to make a heroic...eh thing"

Heroic music is playing and Aragorn strikes a heroic pose and the runs of.

Robotic voice: "T -15 seconds"

Aragorn runs of grabbs Sam who is saying: "Everybody hates me...*sob, sob*"

Sam: "AAAA...I got alien-blood one my suite" sounds like Nicolas Cage "It's eating through the ****ing suit"

Aragorn: "No it don't"

Blood stops smelting the suit.

Sam: "Why not?"

Aragorn: "It only reacts when it come in contact with oxygen"

Sam: "Well there's a damn lot oxygen in here, isn't it"

Blood starts smelting again.

Aragorn: "No, we err...we fixed that to get the space-scene more realistic, yes that's it"

The blood jumps away swearing.

Aragorn runs to the pace-ship.

Aragorn: "Start the countdown-sequence"

Boromir: "Tennineeightsevensixfiveforthreetwooneliftoflifto fwehavealiftof"

Another Alien appears. Sigourney Weaver appears.

Sigourney Weaver: stressed "You are my lucky star..." Shoots out the Alien with an harpune, gets her feet entangled in the rope and follows the alien out.

Merry: "Phew...I'm glad we lost that one"

Pippin: "Yea...and Sigourney Weaver too"

Merry: "That was what I meant"

They fly away and the starwars intro-music starts playing.

[Anything but Arwen]

lololol! Keep being mean to Legolas! And Arwen! And everyone but Merry and Pip! Cos thats my job. Ok, let me try....

Treebeard: We go to Isengard...
Pippin: Whats Isengard?
Merry:Its where Saruman lives you dolt
Pip:WHos- ohh....Mr Tree, we have a very important...party...to attend...
Merry: Its not going to work Pip..
(To be fair thats someone elses genius....if your on here, um..sorry...)

Heres one of mine:
Gandalf: His name is Shadowfax...he is one of the Mearas, the princes of horses...
(He brings out a tattered hobby horse)
To Rohan!
(Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas all look at each other)

Aragorn: Legolas, Gimli, to war!
(Gimli is sitting with cucumber slices over his eyes and Legolas is wearing a hairnet)
Both: WHaaa? But its our day off!

Nehh....theyre crap....oh well...fneh...

[Hirilaelin]

All right, FINALLY thought up some of my own.

At the council of Elrond.

Boromir: *heatedly* It is a gift! A gift to the foes of Mordor! We should use this ring, and *almost yelling*

Viggo: *rolling eyes* God Sean, get a grip.

P.J.: CUT!

In TTT Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn just found the burned bodies of the orcs, but no Merry or Pippin.

Aragron begins to wail, scream, curse, and beat the ground with hi9s fists. Legolas and Gimli glanced nervously at each other, and Viggo stops.

Viggo: *embarrassed* Heh... Sorry about that... Just trying to get into character, you know.

Orlando and John glance at each other again.

In Mordor, with Sam, Frodo and Gollum.

Gollum: I will swear it on the preciossssssssssssssssssss.....

Frodo: *disgusted* Geez, tone it down a bit, will you, you're spitting on me.

On Weathertop, Aragorn whirls around with the torch, but hits Pippin in the stomach instead.

Billy: *in flames* AGH!!! AGGGHHHH!

Aragron: Sorry, my bad.

P.J.: CUT, PARAMEDICS!!!!

Well these are mine, hope you like them!

~Hirilaelin, dieing with laughter at all these bloopers

[ January 24, 2003: Message edited by: Hirilaelin ]

[Airerûthiel]

Continuing the mobile phone thing (you have to watch Trigger Happy TV to get this one):

As the Rohirrim ride up to Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli:
(Three mobile phones ring - one plays 'Jingle Bells', one 'I Feel Pretty' from West Side Story, and one the theme to the movie. All three companions pull out their giant comedy phones; Gimli's is black with 'Nobody tosses a Dwarf!' on the back, Aragorn's has a photo of Arwen on it, and Legolas' is pink with 'I (little heart icon) my hair straighteners' on the back.)

The next lines are all at the same time. Meanwhile, in the background, the Rohirrim get closer and closer...

Aragorn: Éowyn? How the hell did you get my number?! I haven't even met you yet!! And no, I'm not available for dinner and our movie in four nights' time - I've got a bloody battle to win!! What did you just say?!

Legolas: Yes, I would like to renew my subscription to Elf And Beauty Weekly...no, I want the free blonde hair dye, not the flourescent pink...NO!!

Gimli: (out of breath from running) Daa-aad! You had...to...ring me...now...didn't you? I'm...kinda...busy...what? (Éomer rides up)

Éomer: What business does an Elf, a Man and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!

All three: (at the same time and shouting) I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M ON THE PHONE!!!

~*~*~*~*~

Actually that happened to me the second time I saw TTT - someone's phone played 'Jingle Bells' and then their person went, "HELLO?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I'M WATCHING LOTR!!!"

[Blue Elf]

**is bent over in laughter**

AHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! Those were soooo funny!!! I loved the cell phone one in particular!! Sooooooo funny!!!

Sorry for being so mean to Legolas, but he is just so perfect to make fun of, don't you think?

Oh, I don't have any ideas for LotR Bloopers today [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
Maybe I will later though

[Meela]

the elves arrive at Helms Deep. They halt and turn to face theoden

Elf at end: woaaah- (wobbles)

he falls onto the next elf, and the elves are all knocked over like dominoes


Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are hiding in some rocks, when eomer and horsie pals ride by

Aragorn: Riders Of Rohan!

the riders turn around to ride towards them, but skid on the grass, and they all topple over


Aragorn, Leg, and Gimli are hiding in the rocks. Eomer and chums ride by

Aragorn: Riders Of Rohan!

The Riders throw some objects over their shoulders and continue to ride

Legolas and Gimli pick up their objects, which turn out to be little flags saying "Welcome to Rohan", with lollipops attached to the poles

Legolas: ooh, strawberry!


continuation:

Along with Gandalf, Aragorn, Leg, and Gimli ride to Edoras

Hama comes forward

Hama (holding some flags): here, have a-

Aragorn (holds up hands): had 'em already

Gandalf: oh, but i didnt get one! *strops*

Hama gives him a flag

Gandalf (waving it about): yay!

the four head on in to the Hall of Meduseld

Wormtongue walks up, holding out flags

Aragorn: no more!!!! *pushes past him and approaches theoden, who has a flag attached to his crown

Eowyn comes in through a side door, and rushes up, holding out flags

Aragorn: ive had enough! youy guys are on your own! *storms out*

Gandalf looks at Eowyn, who shrugs

Eowyn: the flags are part of Saruman's tourist attraction campaign. plus, we get a lollipop for every flag

[Meela]

Gandalf, Eomer, and the Rohirrim arrive at the top of the hill by Helms Deep

They begin to charge down the hill. Gandalf slips and rolls. The Rohirrim all trip over him and the whole group rolls down the hill and into the Uruk-Hai

Theoden turns round to Aragorn, completely oblivious to the tangle in the corner

Theoden: where were the flags???? i told him they had to wave the flags!!!! we neeeeeed tooooouuuuuuriiiiiiisssssts!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blue Elf]

ahahahahahahahaha

Rohan, the tourist trap

[Blue Elf]

*Battle of Helm's Deep*

Haldir's last words, which no one hears in the movie: Long....live....the King....of...Gondor...

*an orc hears those words*

Orc: ARAGORN!!

Aragorn: *whips out Anduril and gets ready for a fight* What?

ORc: *sheepishly* May I have your autograph?

Aragorn: Why, of course....who shall I address it to?

Theoden: *overhearing all this* He is the attraction we need!! Forget about the flags!!

Eowyn: *chases Aragorn*

[Meela]

lol!

Haldir: long.... live... the-

Orc steps on Hladir's face, drowning out his words

The flags of rohan live on


:P

[Blue Elf]

Ahahahaha

Haldir: long.... live... the-

Orc steps on Hladir's face, drowning out his words

The flags of rohan live on

(with a Bamf!! noise, Blue Elf appears)

Blue Elf: No, never!! I cannot allow it!! I was going to get part of Aragorns salary!! **runs around madly and rips up several flags, until Theoden catches Blue Elf and throws her in the dungeons. Sill Theoden...Blue Elf can teleport!!**

Yes, that was very random [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Hirilaelin]

Evevyone is at Helm's Deep.

Aragorn: Hey Gimli, you seen Legolas?
Gimli: Er, no.

Just then, something catches their eye. Legolas is bugee jumping of the tower.

John (Gimli): Orlando, quit! We have a scene to do!

Viggo: *obviously disgusted* Orlando, could you be just a BIT more mature?
Orlando: *flying through the air* Just a sec! *bugee breaks* *falls into an orc*
Orc: Hey, watch it! Oh, Mr. Bloom! Can I have your autograph?
Orlando: Why certainly... *not hurt at all*
John: Stupid elf....

Well, that was kind of stupid, but I tried!

~Hirilaelin

[ January 24, 2003: Message edited by: Hirilaelin ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

Legolas: A red sun rises. Blood has been split this night.
Aragorn: (super sarcastic) Oh, thanks for the psychic input, Legolas. Like, we're on the way to war. Come on. Blood gets spilled every night. Shut up and keep running.
Gimli: Can we stop yet? This is bad for my asthma!

[Lindril Arvilya]

Sam: By all rights we shouldn't be here at all.
Anyone who's read the book: You're telling me.

[Manardariel]

Scene in Rivendell:
Arwen: runs over to Elrond. "You have the gift of fores- dad?? What the hell happend to you?? Dad, HEllo. Are you ok? Dad! Look, it´s alright...my dad is mentally ill....*starts crying*
Camera: turns around to show us elrond in black suit, sunglasses, cut hair and a gun

or:

FotR: Arwen meets Aragorn&hobbits at Trowlshaws(sp?)
Sam: Who is she?
Aragorn:She´s my girlfriend. Don´t ask.
*rollseyes*
Sam: what´s she doing here?
Aragorn:Cheking on me.*rollseyes*
Sam: Oh, then she cares about you
Aragorn: Supposively. *rollseyes*

Gandalf&Elrond talking
Elrond: The race of men is weak.
Gandalf: Oh come on. You only don´t like men because your daughter is dating one
Elrond: SO????????

[Arwen_Evenstar]

Okay, I'm not particularly good at this, so bear with me please:
the battle of helms deep: The elves arrive and as they are waiting with everyone else the uruk-hai show up and each of them holds a small crate. Murmers of curiosity ripple through the ranks. Suddenly all of the uruk-hai similtaniously open their crates. Mice leap out and run towards to ranks. All elves start screaming and looking for chairs to jump on. So much for the extra help!

*reads over the post and shakes head* my god that was sad. well I'll try again:

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: Uhh...i dunno...i meet alot of people in this buissness...

*reads over again* Nope...no better....*sigh*

ps-is my avatar showing to you guys?

[Lindril Arvilya]

PHWOOOOOOOOOOOMMM
Legolas: That is no orc horn!
They run outside, and guess who's riding up the ramp? That's right it's.... BOROMIR!
Boromir: Alright, guys, I'm here, let's get the fight on!
Everybody: *jaws drop open*
Aragorn: Gaw, not again.

[dragoneyes]

*Helms Deep, the orc with the torch is running, about to blow up the wall*
Aragorn: Legolas, get him!
*Legolas shoots at him, misses, shoots again, misses again*
Orc holding torch: You stupid elf! Right here! *points to throat* Not my shoulder, not my helmet, my throat! Come on, try it!
*Legolas shoots the orc in the throat*
Orc: Thankyou! *mumbles* don't get elves like you used to in my day, in my day you couldn't walk five steps without getting killed *goes on to blow up the wall*

[dragoneyes]

Not intentionally, though it could've seeped in, I have watched it many times. It was my 666th post [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[luin'loki]

Mines of Moria: Gimli learns Balin is dead
Gimli:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Aragorn:Sheesh! it's just a dwarf!
*Gimli starts bawling like a baby*
Legolas:What a crybaby
Gandalf:I know! I wasn't crying when I was having an old-man fight with Saruman!

I know I can do better