It's high time that this thread was rescued from its obscurity.
Name: Aragorn Elessar of the House of Telcontar, King of Gondor and Arnor. Alias Thorongil, Wingfoot, Strider, Longshanks, Estel, Lefty, Dopey and Big-ears.
Position sought: Security operative, grade IV (nights)
Date of birth III 2931
Address P.O. box 1, Minas Tirith, Gondor.
Telephone Minas Tirith 001
Fax Minas Tirith 002
E-mail restorer@monarchy.gov.uk
web http://returnoftheking.monarchy.gov.uk
Education
III 2950 - III 2957: Private tutors - Heraldry, Woodcraft, Unarmed combat, Swordsmanship, Quenya (Advanced), Sindarin literature (advanced), Ancient History (advanced), Ethics, Divinity
III 2943 - III 2950: The King's School, Imaldris - GCE 'O': Home Economics, Ancient History, Political Science, CSE Intermediate Quenya, Woodwork, Botany
III 2936 - III 2942: St. Elwe's Preparatory School, 1 Peredhil Gardens, Imaldris. Three gold stars.
Work experience
III 3019 - present: King of the Reunited Kingdom of Arnor and Gondor
III 2980 - III 3019: Itinerant freelance security operative: Arnor, Eriador and lands to north
III 2957- III 2980: Mercenary to Thengel 'The Bloody', King of Rohan. Extensive combat and command experience, including espionage and psychological warfare. Operated under an assumed name without detection for thirty-three years (see above).
Additional awards:
Pipe-smoker of the year, Ithilien
Mercury, 3020, 3031, 3042
Best costume, White Council Annual Dinner and Masque, 3018
Skittles champion,
The Prancing Pony, Bree, 3015
Hobbies and interests:
Founding member and chairman: Royal Society for Real Ale (3020 - present)
Hon. Sec, Shire Historical Society, (SR 1420- present)
Founding member, Minas Tirith Amateur Dramatics Society.
Owner and proprietor, Seven Stones Folk Club, 14 Lampwrights' Street, Minas Tirith
Ordinary member: Rivendell Society for Elven Languages and Literature
Reason for applying
Having reached a glass ceiling in my current profession, I am eager to follow other opportunities. Since security and protection were my main areas of expertise in earlier employment, I feel that I could respond well to a situation that is both challenging and less demanding than my present position. I would welcome a subordinate role such as this as the responsibilities of my existing employment have become burdensome.
I feel that I would be an asset to your organisation, since I have already faced and defeated the most dangerous creatures that could conceivably invade your premises. I can supply my own weapons and uniform on receipt of a design. Travel no object.