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Hookbill the Goomba · 06-22-2006, 03:39 AM

"Well," said the surprisingly still alive Hookbill, "Good evening. Welcome to the Barrow Downs... that’s a silly thing to say, I suppose you live here, anyway... Here is a song about a man they called Harold the Baggins, a Hobbit restaurant owner."

***

News:

A well-known Hobbit restaurant-owner
disappeared early this morning.
Last seen in a mouse-brown Elven cloak
suitably camouflaged,
they saw him on a horse.

Man-in-the-street:

"Father of three its disgusting"
"Such a horrible thing to do"
Harold the Baggins cut off his toes
and he served them all for tea
"Can't go far", "He can't go far".
"Hasn't got a leg to stand on"
"He can't go far".

Hobbit-on-the-spot:

I'm standing in a doorway in By-water
tension is mounting
There's a restless crowd of angry Shire folk

Hobbit-on-the-council:

"More than we've ever seen.
- had to tighten up security"

Over to the scene at Michel Delving
The Shire Mayor's ready to speak

Mayor:

"Man of suspicion, you can't last long,
The Public is on our side"

Public:

"Can't last long", "You can't last long".
"Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
"You can't last long".

Harold:

If I was many miles from here,
I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
Instead I'm on this window ledge,
With the whole world below
Up at the window
Look at the window...

Mr.Plod:

"We can help you
We can help you
We're all your friends, if you come on down
And talk to us son"

Harold:

You must be joking
Take a running jump

The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold
getting weaker;
Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side
Fearing the very worst
They called his mother to the sight
Upon the ledge beside him
His mother made a last request.

67-yr-old Mrs Baggins:

"Come off the ledge
if your father were alive he'd be very,
very, very upset.
"Just can't jump, you just can't jump"
"Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from
the B.B.C.*"
"You just can't jump"

Mr. Plod:

"We can help you"
"We can help you"
"We're all your friends, if you come on down
and talk to us Harry"

Harold:

You must be joking.
Take a running jump......

* The Barrow Broadcasting Co-operation.

And Hookbill did take a running jump... out of the window as bottles and other things flew onto the stage.

06-22-2006, 03:39 AM	#12
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	"Well," said the surprisingly still alive Hookbill, "Good evening. Welcome to the Barrow Downs... that’s a silly thing to say, I suppose you live here, anyway... Here is a song about a man they called Harold the Baggins, a Hobbit restaurant owner." *** News: A well-known Hobbit restaurant-owner disappeared early this morning. Last seen in a mouse-brown Elven cloak suitably camouflaged, they saw him on a horse. Man-in-the-street: "Father of three its disgusting" "Such a horrible thing to do" Harold the Baggins cut off his toes and he served them all for tea "Can't go far", "He can't go far". "Hasn't got a leg to stand on" "He can't go far". Hobbit-on-the-spot: I'm standing in a doorway in By-water tension is mounting There's a restless crowd of angry Shire folk Hobbit-on-the-council: "More than we've ever seen. - had to tighten up security" Over to the scene at Michel Delving The Shire Mayor's ready to speak Mayor: "Man of suspicion, you can't last long, The Public is on our side" Public: "Can't last long", "You can't last long". "Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same" "You can't last long". Harold: If I was many miles from here, I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea Instead I'm on this window ledge, With the whole world below Up at the window Look at the window... Mr.Plod: "We can help you We can help you We're all your friends, if you come on down And talk to us son" Harold: You must be joking Take a running jump The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold getting weaker; Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side Fearing the very worst They called his mother to the sight Upon the ledge beside him His mother made a last request. 67-yr-old Mrs Baggins: "Come off the ledge if your father were alive he'd be very, very, very upset. "Just can't jump, you just can't jump" "Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from the B.B.C." "You just can't jump" Mr. Plod: "We can help you" "We can help you" "We're all your friends, if you come on down and talk to us Harry" Harold: You must be joking. Take a running jump...... The Barrow Broadcasting Co-operation. And Hookbill did take a running jump... out of the window as bottles and other things flew onto the stage. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 06-22-2006 at 03:43 AM.