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Tell him, "If you don’t fulfil your dream of establishing Europe’s premier freak show soon it’ll be too late!"
Put Jelly in his contact lenses.
Pretend to die but in an obviously fake way saying, "Woe is me! If only Sauron wasn't so dreadfully ugly, I could stand to live! But alas no! Woe! Woe! Woe!"
Circulate posters of Sauron in a dress.
Then give one to him.
When he is talking to you, release a balloon so that it "razzes" around the room.
Turn up to a private meeting with a dwarf, and refuse to explain, or to introduce him to Sauron or any one else. When they ask, just say: “You don’t mind, do you?”
Poke him.
Do all of the above in the space of half an hour.
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