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Originally Posted by Mithalwen
… but the catering facilities are currently noticeable by their absence …
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*The serving hatch on the Catering Van slides open with a creak and a jolly, bearded and bespectacled face pops out.*
Someone looking for something to eat? Well, I’ve whipped up a nice ghoulash here, if anyone would care for a bowl. An old family recipe. Put hairs on your chin, it will.
*Saucepan holds up a bottle marked “Saucepan‘s Special Ghoulash Sauce“ and does a double take as he notices that it remains full. Sheepishly, he glance back to the kitchenette and spies with horror an empty, though somewhat greasy, pepsi bottle.*
Ahem, salad anyone?
So, what’s been happening since the ghoulash … er ... ghoulish discovery? Hmm, a bunch of method actors spouting their lines. Crew members going about the business. Sheesh! I’ve heard of the expression “the show must go on”, but this is ridiculous. Surely you don’t expect this production to go ahead in the circumstances? What with the CG Animator brutally murdered and a bunch of Werewolves running amok among us? I mean, it’s not like there’s never been a film of Tolkien’s masterpiece made before. Like, you know, there was that trilogy that, um, won, like, UMPTEEN OSCARS including BEST DIRECTOR, or something like that.
Anyway, to business.
*Saucepan picks up a clipborad on which the word “Director” has been hastily scribbled out and replaced with the words “Day 1 Checklist”*
Now, let me see …
Discussion of roles. Check
Exhortation to all to speak. Check
Discussion about what might be done with the quiet ones. Check.
Statement of dislike of Day 1s. Check.
Any useful discussion directed towards finding the Wolves … Erm, nope.
So far, I am highly impressed by Xyzzy, who obviously has a masterful understanding of how fantasy films should be made. And I think that we should keep Gil-Galad around for a while, as Zombies are always good value. Especially later in the piece, when the hero stumbles across a chainsaw or hover-mower, or some such.
Oh, and Anguirel‘s clearly a Wolf. He‘s talking far too much to be a credible Celeborn. Obviously, he’s got something to hide.
That and it’s traditional for me to attempt to vote off the Elves first, starting with Celeborn.
