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For me, this issue doesn't come down to Eowyn following her proscribed gender roles as it does her choosing optimism and hope over grim fate.
If "the hands of the King are the hands of a healer," Eowyn should feel no shame in traveling that same road. There should be no stigma in laying down the instruments of death and spreading life and healing. After the War that was what was needed most, and it's still part of her duty as nobility to care for those under her. She just used nonviolent means to do it, as did Faramir.
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