[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by HerenIstarion

I wish I had mithril chainmail

Granted.
However, it's far too small for you and no one believes you when you claim it's mithril. Eventually, your claims cause some concerned relative has you taken to a mental hospital and the mithril chainmail is melted down and fed to starving dogs who then die. The ghosts of the dogs then haunt you for the rest of your life, meaning you're never released from the mental hospital. Eventually, you carve a picture of dogs and dwarves with a knife in your stomach.

I wish Orcs had a more organised worker's Union.