[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Backing swiftly away from this morass of vulgarity:

Morgoth, Sauron and the Nazgûl: Close harmony singing.

Elbereth: Arranging stars to form rude messages.

Eru: Visiting Middle-earth incognito, dressed in bright clothes and singing comic songs.

Húrin: Asking Morgoth for some popcorn.

Elrond: Sneaking out of Rivendell to rob travellers.

Gothmog, Lord of Balrogs: Watching Bambi with a box of tissues.

Éomer: Conspiring with Saruman to get rid of Théodred, then slaughtering a few Orcs to create an alibi.

Aragorn: Cutting up Gandalf's spare robe to make a white flag while he's busy saving Faramir.