[Morai]

I say we all need this at one time or another:
Friend Zapper 3000 : Ever get sick of your naive non-LOTR-fan pals asking you questions or making unintelligent comments while your reading the books or watching the movies? By the Friend Zapper 3000! Never have to worry again about missing your favorite scene or loosing your place in the tiny print and large paragraphs. When your companion cannot stop their tounge from forming endless blather, simply push a button and a electric shock will silence them momentarily. Comes equipped with duct tape for extreme circumstances and sedatives. (Warning sedatives may cause drowsiness, and side effects of Zapper include but are not limited to: pain, shocking sensations, numbness, and irrability. Manufacturers not responsible for angry friends.)

Meh, maybe they won't sell like hot-cakes. Moaning and screaming might actually be more annoying then the talking.