Faramir: Eowyn, Eowyn, do you not love me?
Eowyn: Ewww, no! I'm leaving you, Faramir... for Merry.
Tom Bombadil: I'm so depressed.
Sauron: Rule Middle Earth? Whatever gave you that idea? Why can't we all just be friends?
Frodo: Hey, Sauron, I brought you your Ring back!
Sauron: Excellent! Care for some tea?
Denethor: I'm scared of fire.
Glorfindel/Arwen (to the Nazgul): The hobbit? Oh, sure, you can have him. I thought you wanted my horse.
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"Candy: tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy."
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