The Never Ending Poem...

[Kath]

leaving Chrysophylax alive for another day;
the hobbits cheered and Sauron wept

Sobbing as he slowly crept
Away in the hope of escape

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sobbing as he slowly crept
Away in the hope of escape

The Dragon was attacked by a scary ape
Who thought him a large piece of fruit

[Meneltarmacil]

But just as the ape gave a loud hoot,
There appeared a giant squid.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Meneltarmacil

But just as the ape gave a loud hoot,
There appeared a giant squid,

which promptly died being too far from liquid,
and the ape ran away with the moon

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

which promptly died being too far from liquid,
and the ape ran away with the moon

Leaving oceans too tideless too soon
And the fishermen were very surprised

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Leaving oceans too tideless too soon
And the fishermen were very surprised

But the Dwarves always despised
The ape that stole also their gold

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

But the Dwarves always despised
The ape that stole also their gold

almost as much as they hated being polled
on whether they liked gold better than mithril

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

almost as much as they hated being polled
on whether they liked gold better than mithril

It was always extremely easy to instill
Such hate and anger in Dwarvish hearts

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

It was always extremely easy to instill
Such hate and anger in Dwarvish hearts

so they buffed the shine on their oath speaking arts
and vowed to take revenge on the thieving ape

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

so they buffed the shine on their oath speaking arts
and vowed to take revenge on the thieving ape

Weapons drawn, they marched across the landscape
Searching high and low for the ape and the treasure

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Weapons drawn, they marched across the landscape
Searching high and low for the ape and the treasure

First they found Shakespeare quoting from Measure for Measure
and for anakronistic rhyming heckled him out of Arda

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

First they found Shakespeare quoting from Measure for Measure
and for anakronistic rhyming heckled him out of Arda

Despite the frantic pleas of Varda
Who loved very much Shakespeare's rhymes

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Despite the frantic pleas of Varda
Who loved very much Shakespeare's rhymes

But they all heard some very mysterious chimes
That came from the house of Radagast the brown

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

But they all heard some very mysterious chimes
That came from the house of Radagast the brown.

The head Dwarf, named Dwayne of the Downs,
said, "The ape's too big to be Radagast's chimer."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

The head Dwarf, named Dwayne of the Downs,
said, "The ape's too big to be Radagast's chimer

But they all were distracted by a fat mimer*
Who stood before the Ape and entertained




*I don't think that is strictly a word... but, oh well.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

But they all were distracted by a fat mimer
Who stood before the Ape and entertained

with pouts and grins and looks so pained
that the Dwarves didn't realize it was Bombur

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

with pouts and grins and looks so pained
that the Dwarves didn't realize it was Bombur

Until, he eventually fell wheezing on the floor
Clasping his chest and begging for many foods

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Until, he eventually fell wheezing on the floor
Clasping his chest and begging for many foods.

The Dwarves in their surprise cast off their hoods of many hues
and asked him why in Middle Earth he mimed for an ape

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by lmp

The Dwarves in their surprise cast off their hoods of many hues
and asked him why in Middle Earth he mimed for an ape

Wheezing, he murmured to the dwarves listening agape,
"I needed cash! The ape pays well."

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Wheezing, he murmured to the dwarves listening agape,
"I needed cash! The ape pays well."

Now louder they heard Radagast's bell;
Dwayne said, "What's that wizard up to?"

[Alcarillo]

Now louder they heard Radagast's bell;
Dwayne said, "What's that wizard up to?"

Dwayne sent a scouting party of two
up to the wizard's ancient door

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Dwayne sent a scouting party of two
up to the wizard's ancient door

There they saw Gandalf on the floor
For he was drunk on Radagast’s ale

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

There they saw Gandalf on the floor
For he was drunk on Radagast’s ale

Indeed he was looking very pale
As he lay there, he began to shlur...

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Lhunardawen

Indeed he was looking very pale
As he lay there, he began to shlur,

saying, "I mush be in Valinur,
sho fair and bright are the Dwarvsh tonight

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by elempi

saying, "I mush be in Valinur,
sho fair and bright are the Dwarvsh tonight

Shining with shuch a heavenly light."
The dwarf scouts said "You're tipsy, muddled!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Shining with shuch a heavenly light."
The dwarf scouts said "You're tipsy, muddled!"

So around the wizard they quietly huddled
Then dragged him back and told all they knew

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

So around the wizard they quietly huddled
Then dragged him back and told all they knew

But angrily he sent them away with a shoo!
So they all left and he went back to sleep

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Lhunardawen

But angrily he sent them away with a shoo!
So they all left and he went back to sleep

And the other Dwarves began to creep
Up to Radagast's house with wide grins

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

And the other Dwarves began to creep
Up to Radagast's house with wide grins

Bringing fruit peel-laden trash bins.
One careless Dwarf dropped a banana's...

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Lhuna

Bringing fruit peel-laden trash bins.
One careless Dwarf dropped a banana's...

Rotting, browning peel. "Heavenly ma-, manna!"
Shouted a dwarf as he slipped and fell.

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

Rotting, browning peel. "Heavenly ma-, manna!"
Shouted a dwarf as he slipped and fell.

And nothing more does his tale tell
For he himself turned into banana peel

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Lhuna

And nothing more does his tale tell
For he himself turned into banana peel

A grim reminder of some lonely meal,
And the dwarves forgot banana-dwarf's fate

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

A grim reminder of some lonely meal,
And the dwarves forgot banana-dwarf's fate

But charged towards Radagast with cries of hate
Believing he had conjured the whole oddity

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Lhunardawen

But charged towards Radagast with cries of hate
Believing he had conjured the whole oddity

So Radagast came to offer some commodity
to the fallen Dwarves who lay in the mess

[Balin999]

So Radagast came to offer some commodity
to the fallen Dwarves who lay in the mess

and cried "You're the evil-doer, we guess?"
and together they had some ale

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Balin999

and cried "You're the evil-doer, we guess?"
and together they had some ale

Until the wizard became quite pale
And did throw up his lunch on them

[Kath]

Until the wizard became quite pale
And did throw up his lunch on them

To which the dwarves replied "Ahem!
Clean up this mess right now."

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by Kath

To which the dwarves replied "Ahem!
Clean up this mess right now."

And they threatened to butcher him like a cow
if he did not immediately mop the vomit up

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Alcarillo

And they threatened to butcher him like a cow
if he did not immediately mop the vomit up.

He conjured in his defense an attercop
that scowled and spit and spun a web

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by elempi

He conjured in his defense an attercop
that scowled and spit and spun a web

To entangle the dwarves, like dust in a cobweb.
The dwarves rushed forth with axes but became ensnared!