Orcs... were elves?

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Alfirin

Orc might in fact have very long natural lifespans, but because of their extremely agressive and violent natures, few if any get to the end of thier actual lifespan. Think of it like, say a parrot which lives maybe 5-6 years on average in the wild, but in captivity can live almost as long as a person.

Saruman: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The Dark Lord does not respond.)

Saruman: 'Ello, Miss?

Sauron: What do you mean "miss"?

Saruman: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Sauron: We're closin' for the season. It's invasion time, you know.

Saruman: Never mind that, my lord. I wish to complain about this Orc what I purchased not half an hour ago in Mordor.

Sauron: Oh yes, the, uh, the Khandian Blue Uruk...What's, uh...What's wrong with it?

Saruman: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lord. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Sauron: No, no, 'e's uh...he's resting.

Saruman: Look, matey, I know a dead Orc when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Sauron: No, no -- he's not dead, he's...he's restin'! Remarkable Orc, the Khandian Blue Uruk, idn'it, ay? Very large and muscular!

Saruman: The muscles don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Sauron: No-no-no-no, no, no! 'E's resting!

Saruman: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Lurtz! I've got some lovely fresh man flesh for you if you show...

(the Dark Lord hits the cage)

Sauron: There, he moved!

Saruman: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Sauron: I never! I am the Dark Lord, I don't need to resort to no cheap parlor tricks!

Ummm...sorry, too much coffee this morning. I just saw Orcs in relation to parrots in the wild...and...well, I'm overly caffeinated.