Hobbit Sex Ed

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

Such is the life of a doctoral candidate, researching in such the ever-popular, yet often dismissed as frivolous, topic of Hobbit sexuality.

Why even just this last month I sent an article on my findings to the prestigious 'Elven Hoard Journal' ~ 'publishing since the breaking of the world, younglings.' Alas, it was rejected on the basis of species, and Hobbit's lack of 'general relevance to Middle Earth.' They state that Frodo and Bilbo Baggins are "the exceptions that prove the rule."

I submitted the same article to Wizard's Weekly. It was rejected as being of mere 'prurient interest,' and I was politely referred to Olorin Publications as specialists in the the subject of Hobbit 'trivia' as they put it.

Ms. Chastitybelt has effectively blocked any publication of my work in Hobbiton, although Brandywine Press has released a first edition printing that has sold out. It is, however, only legally available in Buckland. One might note that the number of copies sold in Buckland exceeds the number of residents, hobbits, hobbit women, and hobbit children. One can assume the additional copies are going to Bree.

Now, the stodgy Borrow-downs Books has deferred me to 'Middle Earth Mayhem.' Athough not unexpected, it is most disappointing.

- Maril