Hitchhiker's Guide to Middlearth

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sauron:

Sauron, the infinitely evil, is a mair with a purpose. Not a very good purpose, as he would be the first to admit. But at least it keeps him busy, keeps him on the move. Sauron is of that rear breed of evil beings. Those who are born evil instantly know how to deal with it. Sauron, however, was not one of them and has come to hate them, the 'load of malicious b*****ds'. He had his evilness inadvertently thrust upon him by an unfortunate accident involving an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch, two rubber bands and a man called Melkor.

The precise details of this experiment are unimportant as no one has been able to correctly duplicate the exact circumstances under which they happened them. Although many have ended up looking very silly or dead (or in most cases both) trying to.