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03-14-2005, 07:54 AM
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#1 |
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Wight
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Behind you, counting to 3
Posts: 234
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Start a rumor that the short orcs wanted to kill the tall orcs.
Sit back with some popcorn and observe.
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"Dic, hospes, Spartae, nos te hic vidisse iacentes dum sanctis patriae legibus obsequimur." |
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03-14-2005, 02:20 PM
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#2 |
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Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,461
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Or say "he's not the messiah... he's a very naughty boy" ?
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But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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03-15-2005, 06:02 PM
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#3 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow
Posts: 526
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Convince them to join my Legion of Darkness because it has better member benefits of course.
or Reach for my trusty mace....oh that's right I havn't bought one yet, hmm this could be problematic to my future.
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"...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane" |
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03-15-2005, 07:30 PM
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#4 |
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Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Among the host of the noldor, and the last high elves that dwell in middle eath
Posts: 31
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Bring out a cd player in lingerie and play afternoon delight.
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03-23-2005, 03:34 PM
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#5 |
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Pile O'Bones
Join Date: May 2003
Location: surfing a soundwave on a subatomic board
Posts: 14
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Not really sure what I'd do with 200,000 orcs, but maybe:
1)Snatch a bunch of order forms and get them to buy my little sister's girl scout cookies 2)Subscribe to a pyramid scheme selling jewelry and get filthy rich  3)tell them I only have one toilet and the rest will have to go someplace else, but please not on my lawn. 4)scream, slam the door, hide in some dark corner downstairs and get my fiendish little brother to open the door.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization. ErmaBombeck |
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03-24-2005, 07:49 PM
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#6 |
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Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Among the host of the noldor, and the last high elves that dwell in middle eath
Posts: 31
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id huff and puff and blow their house down
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03-24-2005, 09:13 PM
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#7 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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hmmmm 200000 orcs
oh s#i#! |
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06-07-2005, 11:27 PM
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#8 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 59
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What to do.... what to do....?
Well, first I'd scream like crazy and then start asking them all these questions like, "did you fight the fellowship" "if so, how did you survive"... and they'd be so confused that they wouldn't see me calling up my friend to get his girlfriend's army of penguins that will one day dominate the earth (long story, don't ask) and after they all die, I'd get my one ring and when I use it the witchking will come and kill me, but the hobbits will live on and rule the world!!!!!
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So there's this totally awsome Ring and there's some lord of it who i think isn't Frodo, but hey, it's a trillogy of tales so rock on!!! Last edited by Vinyacoriel; 06-07-2005 at 11:35 PM. |
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06-08-2005, 07:15 AM
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#9 |
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Psyche of Prince Immortal
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis
Posts: 4,734
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Direct them to the nearest "How to save your mone fast" Seminar, thus making them bankrupt by the pyramid-sceme and making then into hobos...
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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06-09-2005, 05:30 AM
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#10 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: in my own little world
Posts: 142
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Summon Anakin Skywalker to my side with my thought the way I summoned those orcs...
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06-09-2005, 09:29 AM
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#11 |
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Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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If 200,000 orcs showed up on my doorstep...
1) If it were me I'd get the fetal position and cry 2) If I were my alter ego I'd kill them all in a blaze of glory 3) If I was without sleep for a few days I'd call upon Obi-Wan Kenobi and Gandalf and have them kill them in a blaze of glory
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
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07-26-2005, 07:40 PM
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#12 |
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: far far away
Posts: 275
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ID RUN AND SCREAM LIKE A LITTEL GIRL.
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07-27-2005, 01:26 PM
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#13 | |
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI
Posts: 437
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Quote:
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"Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx |
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08-15-2008, 03:09 AM
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#14 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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I'd ask them if they thought they were paying too much for their car insureance...
OR Say, "I'm not in at the moment; please leave a message after the beep... BEEP!"
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-15-2008, 01:10 PM
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#15 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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I'd just ask them if they'd like to go swimming, and then take them to the inlet by the mud flats and let them go out there...(and if you know anything about mud flats, you know what happens next)
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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09-24-2005, 10:20 AM
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#16 | |
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Tossing half-sick between grotesque reality and savage, frightening dreams
Posts: 360
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Quote:
Then I would slay them all with a chair. They are such impolite and messy houseguests.
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Where was the stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call Poppa when the merry-go-round broke down? |
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09-24-2005, 02:33 PM
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#17 |
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Wight
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: A hovel in Florin
Posts: 173
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Hmmm...either:
(1)Wait for them to start attacking me, then start yelling 'Come and see the inherent in the system!' Or (2)Convince the orcs that Sauron and Saruman are the Oligarchy and are trying to create a class structure such that they (Sauron and Saruman) could completely control the orcs and take advantage of everything. I would then band the orcs together under their new leader (me) and stage a revolt against the two oligarchs. Once this was over, I would have gotten rid of a major threat to (Middle?) Earth AND formed my own army of 200,000 orcs. Win-win! (Edit) After all that hard work, I think I wouldn't be able to help but find myself wondering how they all fit on an 8x4-ish piece of wood. |
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05-19-2008, 05:54 PM
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#18 |
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Animated Skeleton
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In Angband, chillin with Morgoth and learning how to take over the world
Posts: 38
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If 200,000 orcs were on my doorstep....
I'd tell them to get the heck out of here and back to Angband before Morgoth flies into yet another rage and kills off half his orc army. If that didn't work I would have to call in the exterminator. Pesky orcs.... |
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08-14-2008, 09:27 PM
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#19 |
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Wight
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Middle-Earth, near Minas Morgul.
Posts: 128
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I would..
200,000 orcs? I think i wouldA) Scream B) Faint C) Well, i doubt i would be able to let them all in the house.-scratch that option- D) if Gothmog was leading them, i'd Join forces! 
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08-14-2008, 11:48 PM
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#20 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: midway upon... in a forest dark
Posts: 975
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tell them they just can't come in for tea, or for coffee, or for dinner, they are just too many.
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12-08-2010, 08:14 PM
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#21 |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,512
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If I found 200 000 orcs on my front door I'd send them all to hell. Or rather to Mordor? But Lothlorien may be a "better" hell for orcs...hmmm...which one would it be? I'll just say oh go to hell and leave it up to them to figure out where's their hell.
That brings up an interesting question: where would they go? Mordor Lothlorien Shelob's lair Minas Tirith/Anor Rivendell Doriath Anywhere near Gandalf Anywhere near Glorfindel Too near a Balrog Close to an angry Nazgul Fangorn Forest Haudh-en-Elleth Fingolfin's grave Being anywhere under sunlight (unless they are the Uruk-hai) Many more 
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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07-10-2011, 10:10 PM
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#22 |
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Wight
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Behind you . . . . BOO!
Posts: 222
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*ahem* Go out the back door into the yard, start up the lawnmower, and charge them on the lawnmower wielding bow and arrow. I'd also take a moment to start my smartphone's mp3 music player up and play "I Am The Doctor" at maximum volume - since I'm sure anybody who's heard it would agree that it is the only appropriate music for such a feat.
Alternatively, I would curl up in a ball and scream like a little girl (something I am quite adept at). Yeah, probably that.
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Every human should have a cat or two in their care, to teach them the meaning of the word, and to correct them. Last edited by Bom Tombadillo; 07-10-2011 at 10:15 PM. |
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09-10-2011, 07:31 PM
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#23 |
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Wight
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 165
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Grab something hard and solid and beat the life outta em!
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09-10-2011, 07:37 PM
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#24 |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,512
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Tell them that I don't give charity, don't buy cookies, and don't participate in fundrasing.
Or, Tell them that they are only 199, 999. Or, Take a piece of fake jewelry and throw it in their midst. See who will survive.
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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09-10-2011, 07:47 PM
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#25 |
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Wight
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 165
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Lol!!!!! I wouldn't say I'd be right back though!!!!!!
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09-10-2011, 08:28 PM
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#26 | |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,512
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Quote:
Pulling a Fatty Bolger doesn't seem to be a bad idea (teaser teaser! "Books only" character!)
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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09-10-2011, 08:47 PM
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#27 |
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Wight
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 165
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I would sic my dog Cotton on em!
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09-10-2011, 08:53 PM
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#28 | |
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Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,512
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Quote:
Cotton is a farmer with a bunch of boys and a girl; Maggot is a farmer with a bunch of dogs. Which do you mean, if either?
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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