The Future of the Downs - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

the guy who be short · 08-20-2005, 05:06 AM

Very soon, a new thread will be created in N&N entitled "What do you un-assign to Mordor?" Most replies will centre on Johnny Depp.

The B-W will decide we're all idiots and tell us how he made the new reps!

or

The phantom will take one look at the reps thread and figure it out.

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-20-2005, 11:33 AM

Make sure you buy Mr Wight's Book!

Buy it from Amaz.co.uk!

Or you shall be cast out of the Downs!

Child of the 7th Age · 08-21-2005, 12:44 PM

Much to my delight, the copyright covering the Professor's works will finally expire. Those posters composing fanfiction and rpg's will be able to publish their awe-inspiring tales and collect the monetary rewards they so richly deserve.

Piosenniel , in particular, will be fabulously wealthy, having figured out a way to syndicate the Shire's rpg's to a burgeoning number of cable channels. Estelyn Telcontar will follow close on her heels, acclaimed for her ten-volume "History of the Hobbit Folco" and her personal reminiscences "My Life as a Tolkien Fan," which was actually a download of her blog. Mark12_30 will be represented in a number of newspapers with a syndicated comic strip on the continuing adventures of Bolco. B-W will be living in a fortress that resembles Minas Tirith. This is the result of having struck a deal that all literary works with their origins on the Downs must kick back at least 25% of publishing profits if the respective authors wish to maintain their BD accounts.

After much arm twisting, Ms. Bethberry and Master Fordhim will have persuaded Harold Bloom to publish their seminal literary study The Death of the Author When Viewed in Light of Contemporary Tolkien Emulators (a.k.a. "rip-off artists") as part of the Modern Critical Interpretations Series. But even their fame will pale in comparison with that of Mithadan. His Tales from Tol Eressea topped the best seller charts for over seventy weeks with yet no sign of letting up! He has purchased a large sailing ship, renamed it the "Lonely Star II", and retired from the legal profession.

And let us nor forget that Mr. Underhill finally made the long-awaited and fabulously lucrative Hobbit pre-quel--the one that PJ filched on--of which he is the scriptwriter, director, and plays the role of Bilbo as well as filling in occasionally for Smaug.

Alas, others have fared more poorly! Master Davem had a hissy fit when he learned that a flood of Middle-earth 'wanna-bes' would soon hit the market. After a series of spirited and doggedly stubborn appeals in the BD books forum that pointed out the dangers of this heretical approach, he was locked out of his own account (no one is saying by whom) and has taken up life as an itinerant "preacher", accompanied by his spouse. The pair travel the backroads of rural England and warn readers against the danger of adulterating the purity of the author's original text.

P.S. It is sadly acknowledged that Child the Hobbit, who is threating to challenge Bilbo's record for longevity, is being temporarily detained at a holding facility, euphemistically termed a rest and retirement home. This followed closely on the publication of her life's work: It's All True! HoMe as the Real History of Our Planet . Unfortunately, she can not be reached for further comment.....

P.P.S. Only Child would be silly enough to make a post this long in mirth!

the phantom · 08-23-2005, 01:08 PM

Here's an idea for this thread- how about a few people write their posts like an online article from the future? Something like this-

THE BARROW-DOWNS NEWS
Date: 9/17/07

"This has really gotten out of hand!"

Those were the frustrated words of The Barrow-Wight following today's press conference.

"Those two seem to enjoy putting on this sort of circus act."

"Those two", of course, refers to Feanor of the Peredhil and the phantom, two longtime Barrow-Downs members who have, over the years, been both a blessing and a curse to the famous website.

For those of you that did not keep up with the news over the weekend, it was reported on Saturday that Fea had given birth to a baby boy. One of our photographers managed to get a few shots of the child, and that is when the mayhem began.

Everyone who saw the pictures immediately noticed the child's glowing eyes and preference for black cloaks. Then, our lead reporter on the story did some digging and discovered that Fea and the phantom had secretly met face to face for the first time almost exactly nine months before the birth. Understandably, rumors began to circulate throughout the online community, and in response to the rumors Fea and the phantom announced that they would hold a joint press conference the next day in The Barrow-Downs chat room.

The conference was held at 10:00 AM this morning, but it did nothing to answer the questions surrounding the story.

Fea opened up the conference by saying "My baby does indeed look exactly like the phantom, and yes it is true that phantom has obtained joint custody of the child." Then the phantom added "Everything she has told you is correct, and we have decided to name him either Phantom Junior or The Phantom Who Be Short."

But then, perplexingly, the phantom denied any involvement in the child's birth, and to further complicate things, Fea then announced that she was not the mother of the child, and then they both hastily exited the chat room.

There was an immediate outcry of annoyed confusion amongst other Downers. An outraged Saucepan Man proclaimed "Those two should never be allowed in the same conference ever again!"

Another prominent member, Eomer of the Rohirrim, gave his thoughts on the matter. "I'm not sure what to think. I don't know if they're working together or not. Perhaps this is all a clever bluff?"

But mormegil disagreed, saying he thought it was a double bluff.

"Either way," said Evisse, "This is definitely werewolfish behavior."

Fordim Hedgethistle's only response was "+ + Fea & phantom".

We here at Barrow-Downs News will post further updates as the story develops.

Feanor of the Peredhil · 08-23-2005, 07:18 PM

9/19/07

Rumors abound that the baby belongs to neither famous 'Downer but is actually a hoax. The child, whose eyes shine like fabled crystals, seems to have a purely evil heart, if any of the rumors are actually true. Feanor of the Peredhil was unavailable for comment, but an anonymous 'Downer close to her has given us some new food for thought. "The child could not possibly belong to Fea as she has spent the last 12 months in a Junior Year Abroad program aboard my pirate vessel The Great Warg, conquering the seas and adding benevolance to my dictatorship."

9/20/07

Photos have been deemed to be the work of Adobe Photoshop 9.3. A search has been activated to discover whose sense of humor this could possibly be.

9/21/07

It has been proven by an in depth experiment with the Barrow Downs Name Genercombineator that The Phantom Who Be Short was simply a joke. Conclusive proof can be obtained when one combines the names "the phantom" and "the guy who be short". One hundred rep points are being offered to the first to discover the identity of the joker.

'Downers are outraged that they were taken in and immediately withdraw their blessings and good will. Burrahobbit responds concisely that "this is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen." Fordim creates a poll to find out once and for all whether this joke was tasteless or hilarious. Bethberry and davem respond that it was neither and there should be an option C) for those who were never taken in at all. Esty submits that the child should have been named Falco. Lush's baby names thread is over-run with spoof submissions along the lines of "Wilwaberry" and "Burrobloquy". The Barrow-Wight issues the following statement: "The joke ends now or Inktomi's Phial of Galadriel will be resurrected faster than Gil-Galad (TTM) in Tol-in-Gaurhoth."

the guy who be short · 08-24-2005, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGWBS

I predict: The phantom edits the above post to stop it looking like a list thread.

Sort of. It half came true, then!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lhuna

We'll see page after page of eleven green boxes in the Member List.

We already have one whole page, so half true.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lhuna

As for the near future...HI will be back, along with Mrs. Istarion.

One more point for Lhuna.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGWBS

I predict people will click the link in my siggy and decide they want to learn Quenya to better understand Tolkien.

And one for me... see a pattern emerging?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

Over the next four years SamwiseGamgee and myself will slowly drag The Warg and Warg Rider Appreciation Thread onto an 11th page.

New blood.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGWBS

Some men will volunteer to learn Quenya.

I'm winning...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fea

Eventually, there will come a time that Eomer of the Rohirrim shall live until the end of a game of WW

And he was a wolf... grr...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estel

I better add a prediction onto this: Some day I will play in another WW game.

As a cobbler... sigh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lhuna

I predict that in some future Werewolf game, Eomer will no longer be an ordinary villager.

Lhuna catching up!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGWBS

Tgwbs's BDer dreams will start coming back...

The werewolf ones are scary...

Quote:

Originally Posted by spawn

Werewolvers will start using "Werewolf" as a verb.

Strange how most of the predictions that came true are Werewolf-related.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lhuna

There would be so much Werewolf games that a BDer unfortunate enough to be a Seer so many times will eventually have real life dreams regarding the players' roles.

You forgot the Mods, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nilp

the phantom will realise that this:

You will curse the day you did not do
All that the phantom asked of you.

fits him well, and will turn it into his sig.

Perhaps Sight runs in the family?

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGWBS

Fordim Hedgethistle will create more polls.

Well, alrgiht, that one was obvious. I won't give myself points for that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGWBS

The phantom will take one look at the reps thread and figure it out.

TGWBS - 4.5 predictions.
Lhuna - 3.5 predictions.
Eomer, Fea, Estel, spawn, Nilp - 1 each.

I hereby appoint myself High Seer of the Downs. Lhuna shall be my UnderSeer, the other five shall be our apprentices...

Nilpaurion Felagund · 08-24-2005, 07:10 AM

mr. short, could I decline the role of apprentice? My "Sight" just came from a really creepy eye technique and its ability to hypnotise.

08-20-2005, 11:33 AM	#2
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Make sure you buy Mr Wight's Book! Buy it from Amaz.co.uk! Or you shall be cast out of the Downs! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 08-20-2005 at 02:25 PM. Reason: Rats in the pipes

08-21-2005, 12:44 PM	#3
Child of the 7th Age Spirit of the Lonely Star Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 5,133	Much to my delight, the copyright covering the Professor's works will finally expire. Those posters composing fanfiction and rpg's will be able to publish their awe-inspiring tales and collect the monetary rewards they so richly deserve. Piosenniel , in particular, will be fabulously wealthy, having figured out a way to syndicate the Shire's rpg's to a burgeoning number of cable channels. Estelyn Telcontar will follow close on her heels, acclaimed for her ten-volume "History of the Hobbit Folco" and her personal reminiscences "My Life as a Tolkien Fan," which was actually a download of her blog. Mark12_30 will be represented in a number of newspapers with a syndicated comic strip on the continuing adventures of Bolco. B-W will be living in a fortress that resembles Minas Tirith. This is the result of having struck a deal that all literary works with their origins on the Downs must kick back at least 25% of publishing profits if the respective authors wish to maintain their BD accounts. After much arm twisting, Ms. Bethberry and Master Fordhim will have persuaded Harold Bloom to publish their seminal literary study The Death of the Author When Viewed in Light of Contemporary Tolkien Emulators (a.k.a. "rip-off artists") as part of the Modern Critical Interpretations Series. But even their fame will pale in comparison with that of Mithadan. His Tales from Tol Eressea topped the best seller charts for over seventy weeks with yet no sign of letting up! He has purchased a large sailing ship, renamed it the "Lonely Star II", and retired from the legal profession. And let us nor forget that Mr. Underhill finally made the long-awaited and fabulously lucrative Hobbit pre-quel--the one that PJ filched on--of which he is the scriptwriter, director, and plays the role of Bilbo as well as filling in occasionally for Smaug. Alas, others have fared more poorly! Master Davem had a hissy fit when he learned that a flood of Middle-earth 'wanna-bes' would soon hit the market. After a series of spirited and doggedly stubborn appeals in the BD books forum that pointed out the dangers of this heretical approach, he was locked out of his own account (no one is saying by whom) and has taken up life as an itinerant "preacher", accompanied by his spouse. The pair travel the backroads of rural England and warn readers against the danger of adulterating the purity of the author's original text. P.S. It is sadly acknowledged that Child the Hobbit, who is threating to challenge Bilbo's record for longevity, is being temporarily detained at a holding facility, euphemistically termed a rest and retirement home. This followed closely on the publication of her life's work: It's All True! HoMe as the Real History of Our Planet . Unfortunately, she can not be reached for further comment..... P.P.S. Only Child would be silly enough to make a post this long in mirth! __________________ Multitasking women are never too busy to vote.

08-23-2005, 01:08 PM	#4
the phantom Beloved Shadow Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Stadium Posts: 5,971	A press release from the future... Here's an idea for this thread- how about a few people write their posts like an online article from the future? Something like this- THE BARROW-DOWNS NEWS Date: 9/17/07 "This has really gotten out of hand!" Those were the frustrated words of The Barrow-Wight following today's press conference. "Those two seem to enjoy putting on this sort of circus act." "Those two", of course, refers to Feanor of the Peredhil and the phantom, two longtime Barrow-Downs members who have, over the years, been both a blessing and a curse to the famous website. For those of you that did not keep up with the news over the weekend, it was reported on Saturday that Fea had given birth to a baby boy. One of our photographers managed to get a few shots of the child, and that is when the mayhem began. Everyone who saw the pictures immediately noticed the child's glowing eyes and preference for black cloaks. Then, our lead reporter on the story did some digging and discovered that Fea and the phantom had secretly met face to face for the first time almost exactly nine months before the birth. Understandably, rumors began to circulate throughout the online community, and in response to the rumors Fea and the phantom announced that they would hold a joint press conference the next day in The Barrow-Downs chat room. The conference was held at 10:00 AM this morning, but it did nothing to answer the questions surrounding the story. Fea opened up the conference by saying "My baby does indeed look exactly like the phantom, and yes it is true that phantom has obtained joint custody of the child." Then the phantom added "Everything she has told you is correct, and we have decided to name him either Phantom Junior or The Phantom Who Be Short." But then, perplexingly, the phantom denied any involvement in the child's birth, and to further complicate things, Fea then announced that she was not the mother of the child, and then they both hastily exited the chat room. There was an immediate outcry of annoyed confusion amongst other Downers. An outraged Saucepan Man proclaimed "Those two should never be allowed in the same conference ever again!" Another prominent member, Eomer of the Rohirrim, gave his thoughts on the matter. "I'm not sure what to think. I don't know if they're working together or not. Perhaps this is all a clever bluff?" But mormegil disagreed, saying he thought it was a double bluff. "Either way," said Evisse, "This is definitely werewolfish behavior." Fordim Hedgethistle's only response was "+ + Fea & phantom". We here at Barrow-Downs News will post further updates as the story develops. __________________ the phantom has posted. This thread is now important.

08-23-2005, 07:18 PM	#5
Feanor of the Peredhil La Belle Dame sans Merci Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: perpetual uncertainty Posts: 5,517	Fea's jaw drops... she quickly plays along. 9/19/07 Rumors abound that the baby belongs to neither famous 'Downer but is actually a hoax. The child, whose eyes shine like fabled crystals, seems to have a purely evil heart, if any of the rumors are actually true. Feanor of the Peredhil was unavailable for comment, but an anonymous 'Downer close to her has given us some new food for thought. "The child could not possibly belong to Fea as she has spent the last 12 months in a Junior Year Abroad program aboard my pirate vessel The Great Warg, conquering the seas and adding benevolance to my dictatorship." 9/20/07 Photos have been deemed to be the work of Adobe Photoshop 9.3. A search has been activated to discover whose sense of humor this could possibly be. 9/21/07 It has been proven by an in depth experiment with the Barrow Downs Name Genercombineator that The Phantom Who Be Short was simply a joke. Conclusive proof can be obtained when one combines the names "the phantom" and "the guy who be short". One hundred rep points are being offered to the first to discover the identity of the joker. 'Downers are outraged that they were taken in and immediately withdraw their blessings and good will. Burrahobbit responds concisely that "this is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen." Fordim creates a poll to find out once and for all whether this joke was tasteless or hilarious. Bethberry and davem respond that it was neither and there should be an option C) for those who were never taken in at all. Esty submits that the child should have been named Falco. Lush's baby names thread is over-run with spoof submissions along the lines of "Wilwaberry" and "Burrobloquy". The Barrow-Wight issues the following statement: "The joke ends now or Inktomi's Phial of Galadriel will be resurrected faster than Gil-Galad (TTM) in Tol-in-Gaurhoth." __________________ peace

08-24-2005, 07:10 AM	#7
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Ummm . . . mr. short, could I decline the role of apprentice? My "Sight" just came from a really creepy eye technique and its ability to hypnotise. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

08-20-2005, 05:06 AM	#1
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Very soon, a new thread will be created in N&N entitled "What do you un-assign to Mordor?" Most replies will centre on Johnny Depp. The B-W will decide we're all idiots and tell us how he made the new reps! or The phantom will take one look at the reps thread and figure it out.

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