Be careful what you wish for...

[ohtatyaro]

wish Gandalf had got a new hat when he became Gandalf the white.

Granted! Gandalfs gets white sombrero. But with it comes ranch which needs looking after, so Gandalf settles down and becomes a cowboy. The Gondor armies are now supplied with perfect meat with Gandalf's G brandmark, they are well-fed, but leaderless, and they lose the war

I wish there were other titles in Sauron's service besides his 'Mouth', like, Nose of Sauron, Ears of Sauron, Armpit of Sauron and maybe even Buttocks of Sauron too

[HerenIstarion]

I wish there were other titles in Sauron's service besides his 'Mouth', like, Nose of Sauron, Ears of Sauron, Armpit of Sauron and maybe even Buttocks of Sauron too

Your wish is granted. But they all quarrel over supremacy and career oportunities, so each body member promoted to be new Head lasts no more than two days. Eventually, least agile and clever Mouth is left to be Sauron's sole representative by the time of the war of the Ring.

I wish Thorin was less stubborn and would make an alliance with Thranduil during his captivity in Mirkwood

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Thorin was less stubborn and would make an alliance with Thranduil during his captivity in Mirkwood

Your wish is granted. But an alliance of Dwarves and Elves slaughters Bard and his soldiers to recover the Arkenstone.

I wish Tolkien wrote more about Sauron's dealings with Saruman.

[Anguirel]

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

I wish Tolkien wrote more about Sauron's dealings with Saruman.

Your wish is easily done. It's pretty anticlimactic though; the pair of them just play endless games of golf.

I wish I possessed a first edition of the Noldolante.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish I possessed a first edition of the Noldolante.

Grudgingly granted. But when you possess the book, you find that in book form you cannot do a lot, not even read yourself and so you fall into despair.

I wish the Nazgûl had turned on Sauron and called him a nasty man.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish the Nazgûl had turned on Sauron and called him a nasty man.

Granted. They call him so and he falls into depression, eventually hanging himself from the Barad-Dur. The Witch-King becomes the new Dark Lord of Middle-Earth, and all hope is lost.


I wish orcs didn't smell so bad.

[HerenIstarion]

I wish orcs didn't smell so bad

Your wish is granted. But since it is impossible to remove ork stench, the reformers chose to approach the problem from different angle. All the Free Peoples undergo nose-circumcision operation in the early childhood. Noselessness becomes hallmark of progress and democracy, and the custom is emulated by population of near Harad in the early days of Aragorn's reign. And though much beauty is lost forever when Legolas' nose is gone, new fashion of wearing mithril prosthetic nose-devices is introduced by him to Mirkwood haut monde...

I wish Beorn ate Bilbo