Be careful what you wish for...

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish the Nazgûl had turned on Sauron and called him a nasty man.

Granted. They call him so and he falls into depression, eventually hanging himself from the Barad-Dur. The Witch-King becomes the new Dark Lord of Middle-Earth, and all hope is lost.


I wish orcs didn't smell so bad.

[HerenIstarion]

I wish orcs didn't smell so bad

Your wish is granted. But since it is impossible to remove ork stench, the reformers chose to approach the problem from different angle. All the Free Peoples undergo nose-circumcision operation in the early childhood. Noselessness becomes hallmark of progress and democracy, and the custom is emulated by population of near Harad in the early days of Aragorn's reign. And though much beauty is lost forever when Legolas' nose is gone, new fashion of wearing mithril prosthetic nose-devices is introduced by him to Mirkwood haut monde...

I wish Beorn ate Bilbo

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Beorn ate Bilbo

Your wish is granted. But the stomach ache was not the worst that happened to him. When the Dwarves figured it out they killed him with there axes.

I wish that Radagast had realized that Saruman was up to no good.

[Lord Melkor]

Your wish is granted. Enraged by Saruman's treachery Radagast calls in some favours with the Eagles, who launch a full-scale aerial assault on Isengard. However, Saruman's machinery succeeds in driving them off with heavy casualties, including Gwaihir. As a result the Eagles will not be able to aid Aragorn's army at the Black Gate and Aragorn, Merry, Pippin, Legolas and Gimli are all killed in battle.

I wish Varda would leave that spineless fool Manwe for Melkor

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Varda would leave that spineless fool Manwe for Melkor

Your wish is granted. However, when they try to remove his spine, Manwe gets rather annoyed and asks them what they think they are doing. When he finds out, he is very upset and decided to go and sit in Taniquetil for a while before dressing Varda up as himself and leaving her at the gates of Angband.

I wish the Silmarills were too heavy for Melkor to carry.

[Morsul the Dark]

Your wish is granted but due to their new weight he drops them and the land on yvanna killing her

I wish that Treebeard ruled Middle-Earth

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish that Treebeard ruled Middle-Earth

Your wish is granted. However, the pressure of Middle Earth ruler takes its toll on old Fangorn and he decided to go around eating people until he explodes.

I wish the winged steeds the Nazgûl used were really stupid and kept trying eat the Nazgûl.