Be careful what you wish for...

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by HerenIstarion

I wish Blue Wizards would send a word to the Council of Elrond about their doings

As you wish . . .

However, the word the mysterious wizards send is indeed blue, and so shocked are the participants at the uncharacteristic, unTolkien-like language that they immediately cancel the Council in shock and embarassment and disperse. Thus, no decision is made on how to carry the Ring south. It becomes a museum piece, exhibited beside the shards of Narsil in a display somewhat jokingly entitled "Master Elrond's Wax Museum of Horrors."

I wish that Saruman had never learned to read.

[Farael]

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

I wish that Saruman had never learned to read.

Granted!... next....

Oh, yeah, regarding your wish.... now it happened that Saruman had not learned to read. That is, until he run into treebeard in the forest, who took him as a student. Being Saruman incredibly smart and Treebeard incredibly knowledgeable, Saruman learned from him how to speak and read all the languages in Middle Earth. In the process Treebeard and Saruman became best friends, a friendship that no amount of wood-destroying or hobbit-induced exitement would change. The Entrs never march to war, but rather Treebeard surrenders Merry and Pippin to Saruman, who tortures them until finding out the whereabouts of Frodo, finds him and gets the ring to become Saruman the allmighty, taking over Middle Earth

Fortunately, Saruman happened to be a good ruler.... oh, wait, that's another thraed

I wish Bombur had joined the fellowship of the ring

[HerenIstarion]

I wish Bombur had joined the fellowship of the ring

Granted. Unfortunately, being already very fat and heavy, Bombur should be carried by four young dwarves, and since agreed number of Fellowship is nine, hobbits and Gandalf are excluded. Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas and six dwarves set out, but never reach Mordor - hungry Bombur, having eaten all the provisions, eats firts Legolas, than Boromir, than Aragorn, than his four porters and Gimli and finally the Ring. Though Rings of Power are said to be destroyable in Dragon-fire only, dwarven gastric juices offer acid strong enough for One Ring to be melted, Middle-Earth is saved, Arwen stays immortal, Denethor remains the Steward and everybody but for the eaten and their relatives (who mourn just a little) lives happily ever after.

I wish orks would repent and be pardoned

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Your wish is my command.

Unfortunately, due to the confusion over where Orcs come from in the first place, the granting of this wish causes Ea to vanish into a gaping plot hole. With no reality from which he can be excluded, Morgoth is free to build his own planet, which he peoples with more Orcs. He deliberately keeps their origins a secret.

I wish that more of the Book of Mazarbul was recorded in the Red Book

[Ordimor]

Originally Posted by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh

I wish that more of the Book of Mazarbul was recorded in the Red Book

............ *** POP *** >>>> It's done!


After Gandalf discovers the Book of Mazarbul in Balin's Chamber and gives it to Gimli, it is carried out of Moria. At Parth Galen, Gimli falsely (somewhat) believes that the Fellowship will be destroyed and decides that the best chance for survival of some part of the already mostly destroyed book is to divide the remaining legible pages amongst the company. So few were the pieces that each member received less than 5 pages.

When Frodo decided to sit down and write out his adventures in the Red Book of Westmarch, he remembered something that Gimli had given him. He went to his chest and retrieved the pages. Sadly only one page survived the arduous journey that it had been through. Frodo translated and copied the text word for word into the Red Book. After doing so he finally realized what the words meant. As such, he followed the print word for word and afterwards was extremely satisfied!

And that's where the recipe for Matzo-Ball soup came from.



I wish that Mel Brooks would have done a version of LOTR.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Ordimor

I wish that Mel Brooks would have done a version of LOTR.

Granted! And the end result? Well for one thing Denethor's death stays exactly the same. There's a wedding scene using the same priest from Spaceballs. Gandalf is replaced by a Jewish Rabbi. And there's a big musical number with Gandalf and the Balrog having a tap dancing contest.

I wish the Ents had come to help defend Minas Tirith.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish the Ents had come to help defend Minas Tirith.

Granted. However, they defend it by throwing bits of it at the Orcs until its no longer worth defending.

I wish the Barrow Wights had decided to help the Hobbits after Tom came.