Tolkien's Beowulf

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

In the meantime, here's my translation of Beowulf:


Whoa! I've been told a whole bunch of times
About those wicked-strong Danish dudes
And all about those spears of theirs!
Man, but those guys were impressive.
Their king, he led them all on these raids
And they ransacked lots of other places
And that king, he took the loot and gave it all to his princes...
He rocked!

So anyway, there was this guy Beowulf
He was a good guy too, strong and big
He did a bunch of impressive things in his youth
But let's skip over that...

Grendel came, stupid evil demon,
And wrecked the mead hall!
The MEAD HALL!!
So Beowulf came to Heorot and ripped out Grendel's arm.
God sure did take Beowulf's side.

Then Grendel's mother came
Beowulf killed her too, in her own den
It was a good battle, and bloody
But not as impressive since Grendel's mother
Well, she's just a female.
Still, Beowulf got the loyalty of a bunch of guys.

Then he went home.
He became king and ruled a long time.

Then this guy stole a cup from a dragon
(Stupid move!)
And the dragon destroyed everything.
So Beowulf killed the dragon,
But he died in the battle.
The treasure was left for the animals.
Beowulf was a good king.

Oh, and yeah, God loved him.