Be careful what you wish for...

[JennyHallu]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Frodo had found a working London Bus in Mordor.

Well...I think we could manage that one...

Frodo and Sam are almost run over on their way to Mount Doom by the bus. They decide to take the upper story for novelty and the view, and ride on to Mount Doom in comfort. Unfortunately, they were not the only ones on the bus, and are eaten by some tourist-wargs from the Grey Mountains, who incidentally, went home with some very interesting souvenirs to show their neighbors, as well as a lot of photos of boring flatlands and smokey stuff.

Incidentally, the bus arrived at Mount Doom late.


I wish that Hobbits loved swimming.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I wish that Hobbits loved swimming. (JennyHallu)

Going . . . going . . . granted! Hobbits loved swimming so much, they left their hobbit-holes and built houses on rafts. The sea level rose considerably due to the number of (rotund) Hobbits dwelling on the coast of Middle-earth, and many major ports were inundated.

I wish Balrogs had . . . yellow boots.

(Got ya there for a moment, didn't ya? )

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Nilpaurion Felagund

I wish Balrogs had . . . yellow boots.

Granted. Balrogs are now very fashionable in their yellow boots. But once word of this reached Tom Bombadil he threatened to sue any Balrog caught wearing yellow boots. He felt their new fashion trend was ripping off his copyrighted look. The case was settled outside of court. The Balrogs agreed to wear Stiletto heels inside of boots. Then everyone was happy. Tom's look remained his and his alone and the Balrogs became the first transvestites of Middle-Earth.

I wish Elrond had taken the Ring from Isildur and become the new Dark Lord.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Elrond had taken the Ring from Isildur and become the new Dark Lord.

G- g- g- g- g- g- g- g- g- g- granted. He takes the Ring and becomes the most terrible creature imaginable! Unfortunately, he insists that the Barrow Downs is turned into a dumping ground for all of Middle Earth's waste and so all us Wights have nowhere to go to talk of Middle Earth and it's peoples. Incidentally, all Wights are sent to work in the mines. Eventually the Wights lead a revolt against Elrong (as he is called) and bring him down, tossing the ring into Mount Doom and going away with the feeling of a job well done.
Unfortunately, again, the Wights become the NEW masters of Middle Earth, but do not do a good job of it. They spend too much time arguing over whether Balrogs have wings and who Tom Bombadill is, and all of Middle Earth falls into disrepair until all the Wights fade away randomly one day...

I wish Anduril had a happy face drawn on it somewhere among the other symbols.

[JennyHallu]

Granted! A beautiful stylized happy face is etched into the blade just below the pommel. A little known trivia fact is that the face is actual microscopic elvish script saying "Thank you, and have a nice day"

I wish that Arwen wore pants.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Don't forget to quote the wish you are granting.

AND

Remember to make an ironic or comical twist to the granting of the wish!

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

I wish that Arwen wore pants.

Granted. She wears pants. Clown pants. Aragorn cannot look at her without laughing. Eventually se is so humiliated she dives off a cliff and is never seen again... ooohhh. Mysterious!

I wish Wormtoung had been REALY FAT!

[JennyHallu]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Wormtoung had been REALY FAT!

Well I suppose I may be alone in this, but I thought both the idea of Elvish microtext, and "Have a nice day" being written on a sword WAS comic and ironic.

Oh well, I'll grant your wish anyway. *POOF*

Wormtongue was a large beach ball of a man, and resembled nothing so much as a Weeble. Instead of throwing the Palantir out of Orthanc, he threw himself, bouncing cheerfully down the stairs, squishing Gandalf and the company, and floating merrily away upon the waters released by the Ents. Saruman gave him a promotion, and Gandalf&Co. were reinflated only after intensive research and development.

I wish Legolas had been a girl.