Be careful what you wish for...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

I wish Sauron's forces were defeated by Eskimos.

Granted. But when it is reported in "The Gondorian Herald" they state; "Eskimos see off Sauron!" But, as we all know, Eskimos prefer to be called 'Inuits' (is that how you spell it?). And so they lay siege to Gondor and leave it in ruins and so take over Middle Earth in the fashion.

I wish Tom Bombadill had a large collection of wigs that he showed to everyone he met.

[JennyHallu]

I wish Tom Bombadill had a large collection of wigs that he showed to everyone he met.

Oh...okay!

Bombadil was so excited about his wig collection, that he enlisted Goldberry as his lovely model, and toured ME in a wagon (painted purple). His proudest sale was a wig based on the luscious locks of Galadrilyn Monroe to Saruman himself, who wore it every day. He looked so ridiculous his orcs deserted him to form a travelling circus and comedy troupe (as they'd always wanted to), and most of the War of the Rings involved waiting around for Frodo to finish up so life wouldn't be so BORING!

I wish the orcs were all armed with...BANANAS! (Do you know what to do when an orc attacks you with a banana?)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

I wish the orcs were all armed with...BANANAS! (Do you know what to do when an orc attacks you with a banana?)

Granted and a half.

The Orcs come charging at the armies of Gondor with great bananas. The Gondorians find this terrible amusing and start rolling around on the floor, laughing themselves into comas. The Orcs get so angry that they begin exploding with rage... literally. The explosion takes out most of south Middle Earth and the north is out of balance and sinks. The Valar plan a party.

I wish Sam had found some taters in Ithilian.

[Celuien]

I wish Sam had found some taters in Ithilian.

Granted. Sam finds taters in Ithilien. Loads of taters, all nice and golden, juicy and crispy. In fact, the best taters ever seen. Even Gollum likes them. He decides to set up shop in Ithilien with a fish 'n chips stand and stays there with Gollum as head waiter. In time, even Sauron hears of Sam's legendary taters and comes to visit. He is so entranced by the flavor that he renounces Dark Lording and nastiness in favor of nice crispy chips, ushering in a new era of peace and prosperity for Middle-earth.

I wish Morgoth had turned out to be a tree-hugging hippy.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Celuien

I wish Morgoth had turned out to be a tree-hugging hippy.

Yup! Here it go!
Morgoth becomes a tree-loving hippy! However, the Ents do not like him and tell the trees to stay away from him. So now, whenever Morgoth comes near a tree, it flees into the distance. There are many hilarious scenes of Morgoth chasing trees around the wilderness and weeping when they don't come to him.
He is so upset that he goes to Doriath to see if any of those trees will help him, but they all run away, leaving Thingol open to attack... and he is. Orcs, thousands of them, fall upon Doriath and rout the thousand caves until it is little more than a pile of dust.
All because Morgoth wanted a tree friend.

I wish Galadriel grew a beard to imitate Gandalf.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Galadriel grew a beard to imitate Gandalf.

Granted. Galadriel grows a beard. However, since the beard makes the elven woman look like a man, everyone believes that Celeborn is her. Celeborn takes all the credit for what she has done, and so Galadriel lives a unfruitful life. To make matters worse, she is kicked off of Second-Age Survivor for having a beard and getting long hair, even though those reasons don't really have to do with anything.


I wish Denethor tried to freeze himself and Faramir.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I wish Denethor tried to freeze himself and Faramir.

ok then.

Denethor desides in all his wisdom that the best bonding expirience ever would be to try an freeze to death with his son. Beeing so wise he soon realises that he does not have the means to do so in Gondor, therefor he takes Faramir with him to the north of the Misty Mountains to die. While they are there Denethor realises that he does not like Faramir at all and desides that it would be better to leave him. The result of this is of course that Faramir looses all his toes do to the frost and later looses in a game of bowling to a random worm.

I wish that Aragorn used his pants as a hat