Be careful what you wish for...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Celuien

I wish Morgoth had turned out to be a tree-hugging hippy.

Yup! Here it go!
Morgoth becomes a tree-loving hippy! However, the Ents do not like him and tell the trees to stay away from him. So now, whenever Morgoth comes near a tree, it flees into the distance. There are many hilarious scenes of Morgoth chasing trees around the wilderness and weeping when they don't come to him.
He is so upset that he goes to Doriath to see if any of those trees will help him, but they all run away, leaving Thingol open to attack... and he is. Orcs, thousands of them, fall upon Doriath and rout the thousand caves until it is little more than a pile of dust.
All because Morgoth wanted a tree friend.

I wish Galadriel grew a beard to imitate Gandalf.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Galadriel grew a beard to imitate Gandalf.

Granted. Galadriel grows a beard. However, since the beard makes the elven woman look like a man, everyone believes that Celeborn is her. Celeborn takes all the credit for what she has done, and so Galadriel lives a unfruitful life. To make matters worse, she is kicked off of Second-Age Survivor for having a beard and getting long hair, even though those reasons don't really have to do with anything.


I wish Denethor tried to freeze himself and Faramir.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I wish Denethor tried to freeze himself and Faramir.

ok then.

Denethor desides in all his wisdom that the best bonding expirience ever would be to try an freeze to death with his son. Beeing so wise he soon realises that he does not have the means to do so in Gondor, therefor he takes Faramir with him to the north of the Misty Mountains to die. While they are there Denethor realises that he does not like Faramir at all and desides that it would be better to leave him. The result of this is of course that Faramir looses all his toes do to the frost and later looses in a game of bowling to a random worm.

I wish that Aragorn used his pants as a hat

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

I wish that Aragorn used his pants as a hat

Granted.

You'd be pleased to know that Aragorn doesn't have another pair of pants so Arda is blind.


I wish Huan was treated for worms.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by The 1,000 Reader

I wish Huan was treated for worms.

Whatever you say, Jim.

Huan is treated for worms. But, he has an appointment with his doctor at the exact time he was supposed to fight Sauron. Unfortunately, he dies of worms (somehow) during the battle, and Sauron eats luthien. Beren is eaten by a wolf. Doriath doesn’t fall due to Thingol's lust for the Silmarill, but it does because he burns all the trees in his despair.
Nice.

I wish a Barrow Wight had decided to be good and helped Frodo out on the adventure.

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish a Barrow Wight had decided to be good and helped Frodo out on the adventure.

1-2-3. Granted. A Barrow Wight decides to help Frodo on the adventure. As this is a particularly influential Barrow Wight, all of the other Wights follow to help Frodo. This is quite beneficial for the Hobbits on the Quest; however, since Tom Bombadil no longer has an audience for his poetry with the Downs deserted, he goes insane and rampages through the Shire shouting poems, leading the the discovery that Bombadil was, in fact, e.e. cummings in disguise.

I wish the Ringwraiths had crossed the Bruinen successfully.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Celuien

I wish the Ringwraiths had crossed the Bruinen successfully.

That they do! Unfortunately (for them) they do it five years too late and miss the War of the Ring.

I wish Sauron had a small dog, called Jim.

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Sauron wasn't evil.

Your wish is granted. That means the Lord of the Rings was never written. Instead Tolkien wrote The White Hand. It's about a renegade Maia who tries to take over Middle-earth. When PJ turned it into a movie he turned Saruman into a literal white hand.

I wish Tolkien recorded how old Durin the Deathless was when he died.