Out of Context Contest

[Rimbaud]

Now what on earth or under it has happened? pondered Samwise, poking listlessly at the wilted cabbage. What I really need is some good quality mulch. Hmm... Frodo has just had his flowerbeds relaid... plenty of good fresh soil there!

The stout hobbit puffed his way up the garden path to Frodo's front lawns, taking care not to be seen by the rich lamplight spilling neatly from Frodo's study window.

The good soil was right at the edge, where the flowerbed met the house. He ducked so as to avoid knocking his curly-haired head on Mr Frodo's windowsill, when he heard earnest voices...

JRR Tolkien - FotR, "The Mirror of Galadriel"

I will diminish, and go into the West and remain Galadriel

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

"I will diminish, and go into the West and remain Galadriel," said quiet voice from underneath the hood of elven cloak.
"You are not getting away with this, Sauron," said the elven customs officer. "Throw off that disguise, we'll take you to Círdan, he decides what to do with attempts of illegal emigration."

Originally Posted by J.R.R.Tolkien: The Two Towers

"Small comfort will those two have in their companionship: they will gnaw one another with words."

[The Elf-warrior]

"Small comfort will those two have in their companionship: they will gnaw one another with words."

"Yes," said Gimli. "But that ain't good enough. What if they find someone else to gnaw?"

"I highly doubt Treebeard or any of the other Ents will be foolish enough to get in teeth range of those two. And besides, Ents have thick bark," Legolas chimed in.

"What if they start biting each other?" Pippin asked.

"Good!" Gimli replied. "I hope they kill each other, and the more painful their deaths the better."

"There is one small flaw in your hope, Gimli son of Gloin," Gandalf said. "If they fight, most likely one of them will win. If that happens, one of them is left without a foe to slay him."

"Explain to me again why we didn't kill them when had the chance," Gimli said.

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd, Gimli son of Gloin." Gandalf replied.

There's only one Dragon in Bywater, and that's Green.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Time to revive this thread!

There's only one Dragon in Bywater, and that's Green.

Yes, poor Smaug had had more ale than he could hold, and he exited the Inn as quickly as his unsteady feet could take him outside. "That'll teach me to compete with hobbits in a drinking contest!" he groaned.

'They've taken everything, Sam,' said Frodo. 'Everything I had. Do you understand? Everything!'

[Hookbill the Goomba]

'They've taken everything, Sam,' said Frodo. 'Everything I had. Do you understand? Everything!'

"Yes," mused Sam, "I was going to ask why you didn't have any skin." This was just one of the many embarrassing moments that came about due to Orcs taking their orders far too literally. Another example was where they were told to 'pay the Gondorians a visit'. Which they thought meant, bring them all of Sauron's Gold.

"Old Tom Bombadil's not as blind as that yet!"

[Damrod]

"Old Tom Bombadil's not as blind as that yet," Goldberry nervously told Imrazôr, leading optometrist at the Houses of Healing. "I mean, really, 350 bucks for eyeglasses!? Being master of land and beast doesn't pay very well, you know."

"It was a black squirrel, and I saw no tail."

[THE Ka]

"It was a black squirrel, and I saw no tail", exclaimed Frodo to Bilbo one day whilst taking a nature study. "Well of course Frodo! Didn't you bring a copy of John Hodgman's The Areas of My Expertise with you?!" Bilbo retorted.

"And do not forget that old man!" said Gimli.

~ Ka