Robbing the Cradle

[Lalwendë]

However, Arwen led quite a sheltered life, and you could say that Aragorn would have brought a lot of worldly experience with him to the relationship. Yes, Arwen would likely have been better read (or the like) given that she had all that time to fill with something meaningful, but Aragorn was the one who had been out in the 'real world', fighting, meeting all manner of people and dealing with difficult situations.

[Morwen]

20 year old Aragorn certainly fell in love with Arwen at their first meeting in Rivendell. However, I was under the impression that the Aragorn that Arwen fell in love with is an older version of Aragorn that showed up in Lorien after undertaking a great deal of travel throughout Middle Earth. This older version is clad by Arwen's grandmother so as to appear to best advantage and given his extensive travel his conversation must certainly have been intriguing to someone who, as Lalwende points out, led a somewhat sheltered life.

[Pitchwife]

Drawing on some autobiographical experience: I well remember the time when I was trained for my current profession and found myself, in my mid-thirties at the time, surrounded by and partially living together with people between eighteen and early twenties; and while some of them seemed to be stuck in a kindergarten stage (and are probably still stuck there), those I got involved with more closely struck me as mature and thoughtful adults, so I had no difficulty at all interacting with them on equal terms - indeed I still feel I owe them for accepting me as a peer in spite of the age difference, and I've learned a couple of things from them, never mind that some of them could conceivably have been my kids.
(I've been having a similar experience here on the Downs - yep, Nog, you're right to point it out! I've already mentioned that on another thread, but it's still true - I get surprised all the time when I click on the profile of someone who's just said something really clever and thoughtful and find out how young they are.)
Which goes to prove that maturity and experience can't always be measured in years - especially not between races of wildly different life-spans (phew, finally got round to topic!). Even if Elves grew and matured more like Men in their childhood and early youth and only slowed down later on (if we're to believe Laws and Customs), I can see Arwen accepting Aragorn as her equal and falling in love with him without any Elvish Lolito-complex being involved. Let's not forget that he was 49 when they plighted their troth on Cerin Amroth, and, as Morwen has pointed out, he'd by that time already undertaken his great journeys as Thorongil and been to the 'far countries of Rhûn and Harad where the stars are strange' - probably seeing more of Middle-earth than Arwen in her entire life; so I agree with Lal and Zil that he probably had the edge on her as far as worldly experience was concerned, and this very fact may have made him attractive for her, if she'd truly spent most of her life in Rivendell with her over-protective dad.
(Indeed, now I think of it, didn't Arwen do anything in all those endless centuries before she met Aragorn? Surely there must have been more to her life than being taught Elven lore and singing hymns to Elbereth? Lots of space for fan fiction there...)

[Thinlómien]

Maybe Arwen was just the worst cougar ever...

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Well, hey. After saving herself for 2,000+ years for
the right guy can you blame her?

Go Cougars!

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

It also seems to me that, with some notable exceptions, the mental maturity and wisdom of Elves doesn't continue to grow greater and greater with their many years. Some act just as "baseborn" as any Man even when they have thousands of years behind them. As many humans reach a certain point in life and then just stop there in terms of their maturity -- how many of us know people who are still mentally stuck in high school or college, or even elementary school? -- so do some Elves. The ones who go around talking freely about their own greater wisdom and knowledge to "lesser" races are probably about as emotionally mature as a teenager of that so-called lesser race. Arwen may have had the opportunity to see and do and learn more than Aragorn because she had more years behind her, but did she avail herself of it to any great extent? Galadriel went out into the world, sought out new experiences, learned many things, made the most of the opportunities her naturally long life could present, but did Arwen? If she did, I don't recall Tolkien ever mentioning it.

And I think one must also consider that Aragorn spent many of his formative years living in the same house and environment that had been Arwen's in her childhood. That probably made a difference as well.

Arwen the cougar, though. What a thought.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Ibrîniðilpathânezel

It also seems to me that, with some notable exceptions, the mental maturity and wisdom of Elves doesn't continue to grow greater and greater with their many years. Some act just as "baseborn" as any Man even when they have thousands of years behind them. As many humans reach a certain point in life and then just stop there in terms of their maturity -- how many of us know people who are still mentally stuck in high school or college, or even elementary school? -- so do some Elves. The ones who go around talking freely about their own greater wisdom and knowledge to "lesser" races are probably about as emotionally mature as a teenager of that so-called lesser race.

That's a good point. Think of Saeros of Doriath with his contempt of Túrin. Or, for that matter, the great Elwë Singollo himself, who demonstrated the belief that other races were beneath him when dealing with Beren and the Dwarves of Nogrod.

[CSteefel]

Originally Posted by Morwen

20 year old Aragorn certainly fell in love with Arwen at their first meeting in Rivendell. However, I was under the impression that the Aragorn that Arwen fell in love with is an older version of Aragorn that showed up in Lorien after undertaking a great deal of travel throughout Middle Earth. This older version is clad by Arwen's grandmother so as to appear to best advantage and given his extensive travel his conversation must certainly have been intriguing to someone who, as Lalwende points out, led a somewhat sheltered life.

I think this is an important point. Their relationship is sealed when Aragorn returns from the travels that made him "the greatest traveller of his age", at age 50 as I recall. This is no longer the "young punk" that she encountered in Rivendell. While still much younger than Arwen, he has 1) experienced hardships and difficulties beyond what many Elves would face in the course of their lives in Middle Earth, and 2) true to the Dunadan/Numenorean spirit, he has managed to absorb the wisdom of that race of men that began with Earendil. This ability of the Numenorean race/strain to absorb the wisdom of the forbearers is noted elsewhere, even in the case of Faramir, who is admittedly less high and lofty than is Aragorn. So while Aragorn is mortal and therefore less longlived than the Elves, I don't think this is a basis in and of itself to devalue him (or other men). After all, Elrond and Elros are twin brothers, but I doubt either would have said that Elros was the lesser person. He chose mortality, with all that comes with it, but as a result he was able to influence the world of men more directly than Elrond was (like Aragorn was in the Third Age)...